St. Angie Is Not Amused
I accidentally ran into the Critics Choice Awards on Vh1 last night at the perfect perfect time. It's like some supreme being (Maddox) touched my hand and softly guided me towards a moment they knew I could not miss.
The moment started with Ben Stiller announcing the winner for Best Actress. St. Angie Jo did not win. Surprisingly, the venue's support beams did not break, forcing the entire joint to crash into a pile of dust and rubble. Instead, it was a tie between Anne Hathaway for that movie about a piece of trash at a wedding and Meryl Streep for that movie about holy child touching. They were probably hoping for a Devil Wears Prada reunion, but that shit didn't happen, because Meryl Streep was a no-show. This might have been a blessing, because if she did show, this moment probably would have never happened!
During Anne Hathaway's frantic, frazzled, 8-year-old girl on meth speech, the camera kept panning to St. Angie's face... HER FACE! If looks could kill virgin angels, this would be it. I wish I could bottle her smugness and spray it on my face whenever I am not amused. It was a dazzling moment. I learned that wax figure gods can give cuntface! No wonder Anne Hathaway acted so cracked the fuck out. Angie kept giving her the "my shit don't stank, but yours does" look. Anne's insides were slowly rotting away from St. Angie's stares of DEATH! Or maybe Anne just mixed her Adderall and Ephedrasil. Probably the latter.
I really hope Anne wins at the Golden Globes this Sunday and that they install a StAngieCam to capture every single one of Angie Jo's smirks. It's fun when she loses!
Below is the clip from the moment that played in every Brangaloonie's nightmares last night. Oh and Anne, your gums are receding, because you're on speed or some shit! Smoke a bowl and relax.
P.S.
lizzieb, that link made my day.
Thanks:)
You're so funny, MK:)!
Love you:)
LIZZIEB!....Thank you sooooo much for making me laugh my azz off with the truth as you told it. We all know that is what goes on in that loonie household, but to read it that way....what a hoot! Talk about disfunctional family! Poor Jon Voight, his daughter will never forgive him for this last dose of reality in her fantasy world of being Queen of All....and poor brad...i remember reading a comment he had made about putting AJ in the roll of Marriane over his very newly ex-wife Jen who had purchased movie rights to it with him in their company, Plan B, "Angelina is better for this role, she has more star power"...lmbooooo....who's movie was Number One during the holidays Angie?......lolol
This made me laugh:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1110242/Nice-legs-shame-fac...
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If you can't be a good example, be a horrible warning. I'm talking to you actually.
Best and mnost accurate posts about jealous Jolie whose disrespect was naked. Jennifer is the classiest of all, and for Brad, HA, he's in hell keeping up with crazy Angie and that's the best pay back of all. While Jennifer is soaring, Jolie Pitt's are failing. Angelina can't act and Ann Hathaway was adorable unexpecting to win. Meryl is a class act and the best actress of all just as Ann said. As for Jolie, she's a jealous ole mule now looking rotted hiding her road map tattoos for a change. She was so jealous Ann won and as shocked as Ann was to win. Brad dumped his loyal wife to live with that and now he looks like he's rotted too. Look at the W cover and note his wrinkles after he had some plastic to his face a few months ago. Guess he and Angie go to the same plastic surgeon but she needs to get those veins hidden, clean up cause she always looks dirty and get rid of those pimples. Bet she's just plain dirty and funniest of all that no one is curious bout Pitt Benji and Jennifer Marley ran away with the box office. This phoney coupld bought one too many orphans from a 3rd world country to insure Pr internationally and ignored American orphans so we're ignoring them. Love your ugly envious face Angie, you gave yourself away beasty b*tch and you're growing way too old looking too fast. But cleanse yourself caause those pores and pimples and painful looknig veins are putrid and nasty looking. Glad she and Pitt were without a win. Loved it!!
NO brad did NOT win ANY awards! lol
Here's one to grow on. I just realized that Ben Stiller won for Tropic Thunder (I think best comedy) and the kicker is that Jon Voight did a cameo appearance in that film!! LMAO. So not only did Jolie & Pitt lose in all 5 films they were in but a film her father was in for like 5 minutes ended winning an award (over Brad's Burn After Reading)! This is some funny shit. Jolie has been getting burned left and right. First, Jen's movie kicks Benny Buttons ass at the box office, then Jolie and her boyfriend lose in every category at the Critics Awards, and now her estranged father shows face in a movie that won for best movie. Now that's f*cking classic!
Love it.
Totally late, but I just wanted to post that I had a dream last night that I suddenly woke up with Angelina Jolie's face during her ingenue pre-baby days and I was like "DAMN!!! I'm pretty!!"...I also had huge titties and a little waist, and I walked around like I was the bomb! So either I may be a dormant Brangaloon y'all = O, or I think that Angelina really is a pretentious cunt, or both....LOL....Although smug as she may be, I wouldn't mind looking like Angie Jo before Brad and babies galore ;) lmao.
"People are strange when you're a stranger..." ~ The Doors
Submitted by K2 on Sat, 01/10/2009 - 9:45am.
Submitted by lizzieb on Sat, 01/10/2009 - 7:55am**********
That was classic! You need to write more of that shit. I love a good laugh at Jolie's expense:-)
And I agree with the poster who said this is the real Jolie : mean, jealous and smug twat. Yes, that's the person that Brad gets to live with! Not this smiling fake we see on the red carpet. I'm not saying she has no heart, I just think she's a dark moody and self centered person and living with her has to be like riding a roller coaster (and not in a fun way for the person that gets motion sickness!)
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I'm glad Angelina got her ass kicked by both the generation before her (Meryl-noone compares to meryl!) and this new younger generation, must have made her feel like a turd sandwich! hahaha! I didn't watch the awards, I prefer to get all the dirt over here at Dlisted afterwards! Please tell me Brad didn't win best actor! My mom said he wasn't that good in Benjamin button!
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*I used to Love Celebrities, now I just love to Hate them!*
WTH is wrong with Anne's nose? It's not big - it's REAL! It fits her face. People must forget when Jolie had that bulbous nose before she went and asked to have the "Michael Jackson" done to her face. I'd take Anne's nose over Jolie's movie screen forehead and cheek implants any day!
Honestly, I think nothing is wrong with her nose and didn't notice it until I heard others say something. So now I notice it. But I like it.
Umm.. Anne Hathaway has a big nose? Maybe in comparison to the rest of Hollywood's Michael Jackson noses.
Most celebs don't need nose jobs, they just get one when they are sucked into the lifestyle. A lot of celeb noses look gross because they don't fit the person's face or it just looks so obviously overdone, like the Olsen Twins noses, Kate Bosworth, Parasite (yeah, her hideous hook nose is the result of a nose job, so anyone saying she should have it fixed...guess what? It's like that on purpose).
The only person I can think of that really benefited from their nose job was Asshole Simpson, and that was just a drop in the bucket for her because nothing can unbust that face.
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One, two Brit Brit's coming for you
three, four lock your chillun's doors
five, six she needs her Cheetos fix
seven, eight she dropped her Frap bloat weight
nine, ten her weave looks beat again
Stephen Huvane that has been on a smearing campaign for the last 3 months with his othe protogee Jen Aniston.
Must of worked. #1 movie. Someone had to bring her up, didn't they.
You guys KNOW anne is prettier than Holie. I like Anne's big nose and if she gets rid of it, she's a fool. She will get criticized worse if she does get rid of it, and you know it. Anne looks like she has little to no plastic surgery. I've always thought she was gorgeous she just looks nerdy with the big nose but like i said, I think the nose is neat. Maybe she needs to gain weight but that's it. Her eyes are stunning. Now I don't know if she's shady , but I would hope not (her ex bf). Her speech I loved. I love to watch an actress actually appreciate an award. Whether she sounded kinda idiotic or not, I don't care I could hear the appreciation and that' mattered to me. I'm tired of the fake "wow i'm shocked" speech. I think she deserved it based on how happy she was and how she never thought she would get it.
Angelina has been watching a lot of:
Bette Davis in All About Eve.
+++++++++++++++++++
Exercising pointless futility.
Ok, denise I think you rode the loonie express over here from JJ.
I don't think Ann was trying to be offensive to anyone. If anything she was paying a big tribute to Meryl for being such an inspiration to other (young) actresses. Meryl is like the matriarch of actresses at this point in time. Only an insecure actress would feel threatened or even insulted by the praise she lavished on Meryl Streep. Meryl has been doing this a very long time - probably even before the likes of Jolie, Kate B, Kate W, and Ann were even born. I think it was nice that she thinks so highly of Meryl and WHAT better place to tell her than at an award show?!She paid her a great amount of respect. Let's face it, if Holie was up there she'd only be paying homage to Clint Eastwood for looking past her reputation and giving her an opportunity to be in one of his movies and thanking her nannies for raising her kids!!!
If she was giving me that death stare while I was accepting my speech, I would have cursed her ass from a to z right on stage. What a bitch. She could have at least acted happy for AH. Damn!!!!! Is it that serious? The camera also shot to the others that were nominated and none of them had that look on their faces. There is no way in hell Angie could win over Kate or Meryl. I am so waiting for their up and coming photo ops to kill the bad press. I just know they are saving the twins for something really big.
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If you get to vote on my rights, when do I get to vote on yours?
Submitted by denise1970 on Sat, 01/10/2009 - 1:48pm.
Does anyone but think Anne insulted every actress in the room with her coked out acceptance speech. Is she crazy even Kate B felt that knife. Even if she thought that Meryl was the best actress ever she shouldn't have said it there.
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Aw. I think poor Annie was struggling there and everyone realized it. She wanted to acknoweldge everyone for how great she thought they were but she just couldn't make the words spit out right. She should have prepared. They may have even thought it endearing that she didn't...(prepare, that is.)
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Does anyone but think Anne insulted every actress in the room with her coked out acceptance speech. Is she crazy even Kate B felt that knife. Even if she thought that Meryl was the best actress ever she shouldn't have said it there. Those other ladies worked just as hard and she basically said that MS is in competition with herself and should win every ward, Too bad she doesn't. She is an excellet actress but the others deserve to win and also deserves credit for their performances and shouldn't be brought to humiliation by her.
If anything Angie looks this way out of disgust. The other she knows that Anne is represented by a manipulating ass Stephen Huvane that has been on a smearing campaign for the last 3 months with his othe protogee Jen Aniston.
Submitted by starsign on Sat, 01/10/2009 - 12:30am.
I have never understood and I will never understand WHY they have these award shows. Patting each other on the back for doing what - saving lives, teaching, developing vaccines? Nope, they get an award for acting in a movie! Yep, an award for being an overpaid, over-rated, overly-indulged human being. Don't ya just love it.
I would agree with this, IF you'd included the Olympics, the Super Bowl, the World Series, & every other sporting event where they all applaud each other for being "overpaid, over-rated, overly-indulged human being(s)."
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"I'm intellectual & stuff." "You're flunking English. That's your mother tongue & stuff."
http://www.myspace.com/dramaqueen365247
I couldn't watch at work, so I just now got to see this. I know AH is not popular with a lot of people, but I like her. I think she was genuinely shocked & honored, & in the jaded world that has become Hollywood, that's very nice to see, IMHO.
It's no secret that I detest the home wrecking skank & the adulterous pig, & this all is a perfect example of why. Jesus, Angie, did someone stick a turd under your top lip? Because the expression on your face looked like you were smelling something awful. If AH had Frenched one of the brothers she mentioned, would that have been acceptable? I will say one thing for Brad -- as AH wrapped it up & everyone was applauding, he seemed moved by Anne's words (or at least he hid his contempt better than St. Skank).
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"I'm intellectual & stuff." "You're flunking English. That's your mother tongue & stuff."
http://www.myspace.com/dramaqueen365247
Submitted by Sheeps on Fri, 01/09/2009 - 10:19pm.
Angie wasn't mad. She was just thinking, "Great, now I gotta get pregnant again. With pops *mentally jerks thumb to right*."
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hahahaha
I love this post!
*****
ABANDONED COUCH - FOREVER HOT SLUT '08 IN MY HEART
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The problem with leisure,
what to do
for pleasure?
Submitted by starsign on Sat, 01/10/2009 - 12:30am.
I have never understood and I will never understand WHY they have these award shows. Patting each other on the back for doing what - saving lives, teaching, developing vaccines? Nope, they get an award for acting in a movie! Yep, an award for being an overpaid, over-rated, overly-indulged human being. Don't ya just love it.
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it's advertising, dahling~
all just studio advertising...
then it's aired on the tube with even more advertising...
God bless capitalism.
*****
ABANDONED COUCH - FOREVER HOT SLUT '08 IN MY HEART
http://www.myspace.com/luscious_t_999
The problem with leisure,
what to do
for pleasure?
ugh. It's either Angies "wholier than thou, nose in the air" look or her "cheesey fake take my picture" smile. Maybe that's why her face is so shiny! Cheese grease.
Submitted by lizzieb on Sat, 01/10/2009 - 7:55am**********
That was classic! You need to write more of that shit. I love a good laugh at Jolie's expense:-)
And I agree with the poster who said this is the real Jolie : mean, jealous and smug twat. Yes, that's the person that Brad gets to live with! Not this smiling fake we see on the red carpet. I'm not saying she has no heart, I just think she's a dark moody and self centered person and living with her has to be like riding a roller coaster (and not in a fun way for the person that gets motion sickness!)
lizzieb, that was genius.
lory, I agree about the PS. She's had it, for sure. Too much.
*Ring ring*
“Hello Jen, it’s Jane”
“Hello honey, how are you?”
“Down to my last nerve dear. It’s all kicked off at JP Mansions”
“Oh, the Critics Choice awards. Hmm pissed off was she?”
“She went totally mental Jen, she screamed that is was all Brad’s fault, that he has ruined hr reputation! Reputation? As what? Running off with Billy Bob while he was engaged to Laura- lovely girl- French kissing her brother, getting off with horses and blabbing to the whole world about every bowel movement? Brad was crying, begging her to forgive him, saying he would give more interviews about how virginal and saintly she was, how she saved the world and his hear and he had no life at all with his wife and previous three fiancés , dull and dead until the sex goddess dragged him on to a cloud of baby love.
I nearly puked my ring I tell you. She was having none of it and went off to her wing without a word to the kids, the 6 nannies or the housekeeper. Left Brad in a pool of spit and tears. It was awful. He hasn't looked like that since he was four. I picked him up and said ‘man up Brad, this can’t go on’ and all I got by way of a reply was ‘I can’t leave her mom, the kids, my career, I would be a laughing stock’ Next thing, knives go flying through the air- nicking one of the brown kids and missing Brad by inches. It’s a mad house there Jen, what shall I do?”
“What can you do? Shall we go shopping Wednesday?”
“Thanks dear, you’re a life saver”
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If you can't be a good example, be a horrible warning. I'm talking to you actually.
Well, that's the Real Angelina right there - jealous, mean and a smug twat.
Plus, a bad actress; she couldn't even hide her contempt!
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"I am a legend, get these people out. I want to take drugs."
Submitted by parissucksliterally on Sat, 01/10/2009 - 12:08am.
Lory, not you, but there are people who feel she is fug. I just don't see it. Wasn't trying to start anything...
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LOL. Actually PSL, I was talking about the peeps who profess their undying love to Angelina and who would call me a jelliz h8r if I dared to whisper Angelina is not perfection. I should have been more specific. ;)
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Let me dirty up your mind.
Anne Hathaway is an blithering idiot and Angie is a smug bitch. Get rid of them both!
haha RIP Hathaway
Give me back my sonnnnnn!!!!!!! RRHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAA!
Bitch, please.
Anne was so completely unprepared for that moment....and I didn't think acceptance speeches lasted that long anymore.
I have never understood and I will never understand WHY they have these award shows. Patting each other on the back for doing what - saving lives, teaching, developing vaccines? Nope, they get an award for acting in a movie! Yep, an award for being an overpaid, over-rated, overly-indulged human being. Don't ya just love it.
Lory, not you, but there are people who feel she is fug. I just don't see it. Wasn't trying to start anything...
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"Some people are just bad at taking drugs.”
- Lily Allen
I just got finished watching the 10 Most Inappropriate make-out moments (don't ask me why) and Jolie & Billy Bob ranked right up there! They showed all of the red carpet appearances with the both of them and she looked like a complete drugged out nympho! on a scale of 1-10 they gave them an "ick" factor of 7.5. LMAO! Back then she looked like a horny devil!!
Exactly Smores, Niki was a cute girl. Now she looks like a Muppet. Angie better wise up before she gets to the point of no return.
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Let me dirty up your mind.
Nikki Cox was so pretty....she would've aged well I think
I know this plastic surgeon dude, he says he swears on his title that Angelina Jolie has had one too many things done to her face. I asked him, "how do you know that". He said, "years and years of experience". Btw, I never said she was fug. I am saying she will end up fug because she seems to be very insecure about her looks. Nikki Cox anyone?
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Let me dirty up your mind.
Submitted by Sheeps on Fri, 01/09/2009 - 10:19pm.
Angie wasn't mad. She was just thinking, "Great, now I gotta get pregnant again. With pops *mentally jerks thumb to right*."
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Exactly. She is pissed as hell that Marley & Me is No. 1 at the box office.
-☮'---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
I may appear to be free but I'm just a prisoner of your love.
Angie wasn't mad. She was just thinking, "Great, now I gotta get pregnant again. With pops *mentally jerks thumb to right*."
I don't see the plastic surgery either. She's not as pretty as she used to be (AJ, was stunning in her glory days) and she looks older than 33, but I don't see the fug. Her face is looking a little tighter, but are you sure it's surgery?
And I loved Devil Wears Prada too! One of the few chick flicks I enjoy. Meryl is such an underrated commediene, loved her in Death Becomes Her too! (Nicole Kidman would be a perfectly ironic casting choice for a remake)
Oh, it is there. She has done a lot of things to her face and in these pics it is even more obvious. I could say the same about the people that do not see the work on her face and say that they refuse to see it because they love her. Even my youngest cousin who is a fan of hers asked me if she had something to her face because she looks different.
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Rock the Dlisted vote for MK for best gossip blog!!!
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Get out and vote for MK! Vote every day!
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Angie is a sore looser.
BIG SURPRISE!!!!!!!
Believe me, she thought she was gonna do a sweep this awards season.
-☮'---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
I may appear to be free but I'm just a prisoner of your love.
Submitted by iHeartHaters on Fri, 01/09/2009 - 10:02pm.
HAHAHAHA looking Saint Angie seething =))=)) That is fucking golden
And she shooting out death rays with her eyes.
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HAHAHAHA looking @Saint Angie seething =))=)) That is fucking golden!
(¯`'•.¸(¯`'•.¸♥¸.•'´¯)¸.•'´¯)
2007~It was a truly magical time in Shitneyland.
"jim is our Dollar Store version of commingback." -christine the hoff 12/04/2008
I think you all know that I am no loon for Angie, but I don't see the fug, or the recent facelifts/plastic surgery that some of you do....I think you are reaching, b/c you hate her.
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"Some people are just bad at taking drugs.”
- Lily Allen
I don't particularly like Anne Hathaway and I don't think she was with that guy for years with no hint that he was a con artist so give me a break on the sympathy vote.
Blah blah Meryl Streep can belch and be oh-so magnificent - enough already for her, and I don't like that Mother Goose nun thing she had going in that movie.
It should be Kate Winslet's year but who knows.
HA HA HA Angelina - with her shiny just-had-a-chemical-peel face that was 33 a looooong time ago.
Kiki, I couldn't agree with you more. This would explain why she is so afraid of aging. This picture is a clear example of desperation. Let's talk faces for a minute. Nicole Kidman has a frozen face, there is no question about that, but do any of you get the impression that Angelina is surpassing the Queen of Botox by a ten head? Angie is supposed to be 33, yet her face looks too plastic for such a young age. It is obvious she has recently got a face lift (notice how when she is smiling, she has no lines and appears to be in pain) and botox (her forehead is giving Nicole Kidman a run for her money). Point being, is, do you think Angelina will look just like Nicole when she hits 43? Worse? Better? Keep in mind, Nicole is 10 years older (43) and been through Tom's craziness for 10 years.
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