Open Post: Hosted By Suri's Cabbage Patch Doll
Our fourth open post host is Suri's cabbage patch doll. She'll make a good host, because she'll bitch out if you get out of hand. Trust me. She can speak. And she can bite.
You know, I'm really upset with my 5-year-old self for not being smart enough to keep all my Cabbage Patch dolls in their original boxes. I could have sold that shit on eBay and pursued my dreams of becoming a bar girl in Thailand. Wait. Scratch that. I just looked up some 80s Cabbage Patch dolls on eBay and those things don't sell for shit! Okay, I'm not mad at my 5-year-old self.
Enough with my ranting! It's your turn. This is where you can talk about how you hate my 5-year-old self or whatever else you want. It's open, so you don't have stay on topic. Happy ranting!
Wenn
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Submitted by Mr. President on Sat, 01/10/2009 - 12:35am.
I just read a 40-year-old New Yorker humor piece by HF Ellis about this dork who writes a book called, "An Introduction to the Study of Introductions." He reads 5,300 book introductions, then tries to track down all 87,000 people (dear spouses, loyal typists, muses, mentors, etc.) to whom the authors were deeply indebted and particularly grateful. So, yes, happy to help.
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Amy walks around in the same grimy bikini bottoms each day with her boobs on show, gets drunk, gropes waiters and is rude to male staff. All the hotel staff wants Amy to disappear.
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Sat, 01/10/2009 - 12:42am
HAHA.
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"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
Submitted by Mr. President on Sat, 01/10/2009 - 12:32am.
Has anyone here ever been to a cabbage patch? Is it like a pumpkin patch?
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No, because you need to go to the patch in Alabama to pump kin.
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
TV and IG, sure I get the boot when TV gives a zinger and IG's talking about prepubesent hairs! *flail*
G'night, Lady..and TV..something tells me Sheeps would have a precision toe point! *ducks behind TV*
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"I'll get handcuffed for you and gladly spend a night or two in the clink." ~MK
nite, IG
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
Submitted by Mustang Sally on Sat, 01/10/2009 - 12:35am.
always here, MS. I'll give you an email addy if you ever need someone to vent to.
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
Nitty, I'll have you know that my paintbrush was made with the pubic hair of a 14-year old virgin. And on that note, it's time for me to go to bed.
Submitted by islandgirl on Sat, 01/10/2009 - 12:32am.
I think he's the only one who ever submitted.
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
Penguin Classics needs to start publishing compilations of the best of Penthouse Forum. Perhaps Sheeps could write the foreword.
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"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
@everyone who responded
Thank you all. Different answers from different people, but the fact that you listened to (read) me is why I love Dlisters. You make me feel connected. Now, I will weep - because it's such an odd feeling (connectedness).
Night to all of you and thank you so much. I wish you only the best in life. (Um, that sounds nuts to me, since I know what life is like but, screw it, I really do wish you the best.)
Submitted by islandgirl on Sat, 01/10/2009 - 12:32am.
Clarify "ever."
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Amy walks around in the same grimy bikini bottoms each day with her boobs on show, gets drunk, gropes waiters and is rude to male staff. All the hotel staff wants Amy to disappear.
Has anyone here ever been to a cabbage patch? Is it like a pumpkin patch?
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"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
Sheeps, have you ever submitted a letter to Penthouse?
"Dear Penthouse, I never thought this would happen to me."
I can guess the rest. :o)
Submitted by NitWitty on Sat, 01/10/2009 - 12:28am.
thanks for stopping him before he soloed
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
Submitted by islandgirl on Sat, 01/10/2009 - 12:21am.
Submitted by applehead on Sat, 01/10/2009 - 12:10am.
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Wait... "Stroke" was about rubbing one out? And to think I spent my teenage years brushing my hair one hundred times before I went to bed. :)
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Dammit, now I have to get rid of the painting. I thought that song is what inspired your career. *heavy sigh*
*gives sheeps the side-eye with smudged eyeliner*
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"I'll get handcuffed for you and gladly spend a night or two in the clink." ~MK
Submitted by islandgirl on Sat, 01/10/2009 - 12:11am.
Dear IG:
My large house--VERY LARGE--overlooks the St. Agnes Girls' School's swimming pool. One hot summer day, I was hitting some balls on my clay tennis courts when a ball "accidentally" went over the fence into the pool. As I dived into the pool to retrieve it, I noticed that the St. Agnes synchronized swimming team was working out. The 30-something Mother Superior--Brigitte, it turns out--asked me if I needed anything. You can guess the rest.
Submitted by applehead on Sat, 01/10/2009 - 12:10am.
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Wait... "Stroke" was about rubbing one out? And to think I spent my teenage years brushing my hair one hundred times before I went to bed. :)
Submitted by applehead on Sat, 01/10/2009 - 12:10am.
Billy Squier is a guilty pleasure, every once in a while I get drunk enough to jam out to the In The Dark CD! Can't hold that against you!
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
Submitted by zomay on Sat, 01/10/2009 - 12:09am.
approved
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
ohhhh... good taste in siggies!! say yes TV!
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"That's nothing, Tom Cruise has red carpet and a welcoming party in black tie in his ass." ~~ Team Valtrex, 1/2/09
@PSL
Nice to see you too!
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"This is why I beat hookers" - Tig from Sons of Anarchy
Mustang Sally, I'd stay out of it but let them both know that you're there if and when they need you. My two cents, for what it's worth.
ok...hmmm... Skybitch has a major good point...
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"That's nothing, Tom Cruise has red carpet and a welcoming party in black tie in his ass." ~~ Team Valtrex, 1/2/09
Oh, Frito Honey! So nice to see you!!!!
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"Some people are just bad at taking drugs.”
- Lily Allen
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Sat, 01/10/2009 - 12:01am.
Submitted by islandgirl on Sat, 01/10/2009 - 12:04am.
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Ugh, I feel like an ass! (But in all fairness, I was maybe 12 or 13~and a very naive one~when this all went on) Kind of like Billy Squire (sp?) "Stroke" song that came out back then...who knew it was about rubbing one off? When I listen to the words now, of course it makes sense, but not so much back then.
Team Valtrex on Fri, 01/09/2009 - 11:53pm.
You're dangerously close to being on topic in an off topic post there, mister. Consider this a warning.
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Can I use this as a signature? Pretty please?
***Submitted by Mustang Sally on Fri, 01/09/2009 - 11:54pm.***
Hi MS,
I understand your dilemma, but IMHO, your loyalty to your son should come first. I'm sure it sucks to be in your shoes right now. I just think that family should always be #1. I know you don't want to choose between the two, but you kind of have to. If you have that convo with her, there is a chance your son may never speak to you again. I know if my Mom or Dad had that kind of discussion with one of my exes, I would have been HIGHLY pissed off. It's not worth it. Please just bite your tongue and vent your feelings elsewhere (as you're doing here). Unless you care about your relationship w/this woman more than you care about your relationship w/your son, that's the right thing to do. JMO!
*HUGS*
☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠
BIGGEST COMPLIMENT EVER:
"skybitch, you are one of most disgusting posters here ever. period."
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Sat, 01/10/2009 - 12:01am.
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Hey TV!
Well, they tried making the homosexuals spend an hour with a young preacher while listening to Tim Hughes but the unholy bastards seemed to enjoy that.
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"This is why I beat hookers" - Tig from Sons of Anarchy
Submitted by Mustang Sally on Fri, 01/09/2009 - 11:54pm.
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Sally, nothing wrong with letting her know he'll never be the guy to tell you how stunning you look or what a great mother you are, or she's his soul mate, etc... as long as he shows her in other ways that she's special to him. A man's way of showing a woman how important they are are rarely the same ways a woman would like them to be shown.
It's something entirely different if he's abusive or neglectful imo.
If however, she's been with him for years and thought she could change him, or he showed her something different in the beginning then what he's really been, then there's nothing wrong with explaining to her that you've been in her same shoes with his father.
On the other hand, if they're just going thru the motions and she just wants a shoulder to cry on and she's not looking for a "life" change, I'd just let her vent.
First off, I think I'd just start by asking her if she wants to be with your son, warts and all or if she's talking to you about a more permanent change?
Just my two cents..hope it helps. Will send you and yours many positive thoughts and prayers.
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"I'll get handcuffed for you and gladly spend a night or two in the clink." ~MK
Mustang Sally on Fri, 01/09/2009 - 11:54pm
Has she said she's unhappy? Or hinted?
"Going gray is like ejaculating. You know it can happen prematurely, but when it actually does, it's a total shock." MAH BOO!!!
VOTE FOR MK
http://2008.weblogawards.org/polls/best-gossip-blog/
Submitted by Mustang Sally on Fri, 01/09/2009 - 11:54pm.
So he takes after your husband and not you, I take it? That's too bad...have you talked to your son about his actions? Although, at his age it is what it is, I guess. You between a rock and a hard place my dear...good luck! Although, blood is thicker then water...
Submitted by FritoDorito on Sat, 01/10/2009 - 12:02am.
do they have some kind of vaccine?
Hi Frito!!!!!
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
Hey PSL!
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"This is why I beat hookers" - Tig from Sons of Anarchy
Hi, Mustang Sally...
We've not been "introduced" but I enjoy reading posts from a fellow "older and wiser" poster. I will be 52 next week.
I would say...
Tell her...people do not change.
@Islandgirl: I was on here for like 2 seconds yesterday lmao. Seriously though I am going to try to be on here more. Dlisted is a drug I don't want to stop using
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"This is why I beat hookers" - Tig from Sons of Anarchy
Mustang.. personally.. I would have a heart to heart with her. I think honesty always wins. Truthfully explain your emotional dilemma over it.. and the angst you went through over whether to have that conversation with her or not. Give her matter of fact glimpes into your background with his dad. Then let her be free to make her own informed choices. Tell her you love her like a daughter, and love your son as a son. Hence your conflict. At that point you have done all you can do, and feel good about it. You can let it go free at that point, becuase it's no longer up to you. That's my take.
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"That's nothing, Tom Cruise has red carpet and a welcoming party in black tie in his ass." ~~ Team Valtrex, 1/2/09
applehead, I caught a few minutes of that show the other day, and it took me ages to figure out who was who. YIKES!! And I guess your gaydar is off? Hee hee...
Mr President, I don't even think Taylor Swift is pretty. There is something "off" about her face to me.
hello everyone....
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"Some people are just bad at taking drugs.”
- Lily Allen
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Sat, 01/10/2009 - 12:01am.
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Didn't you hear? The christians have done a "scientific study" and you can indeed become gay lmao
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"This is why I beat hookers" - Tig from Sons of Anarchy
Submitted by Mustang Sally,
Don't go getting in the middle of that kind of family stuff. You will just end up looking like the BAD MIL. Trust.
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Get out and vote for MK! Vote every day!
http://2008.weblogawards.org/polls/best-gossip-blog/
Submitted by Mr. President on Fri, 01/09/2009 - 11:58pm.
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Apparently being cute/hot is what gets you a record deal these days. Whether or not the girl has talent is unimportant.
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"This is why I beat hookers" - Tig from Sons of Anarchy
Submitted by applehead on Fri, 01/09/2009 - 11:58pm.
Adrian Zmed BECAME gay? I always assumed that he just WAS gay.
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
Submitted by islandgirl on Fri, 01/09/2009 - 11:55pm.
I did the very same thing to my niece's Jonas Brothers doll this Christmas.
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"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
Submitted by Mustang Sally on Fri, 01/09/2009 - 11:54pm.
Honestly, refer her to TeamValtrex @Dlisted.com, I'll demonstrate for at least 3 minutes. Maybe 4, I've been drinking.
I don't stay in a relationship hoping that the other person will change to suit what I want. I would tell her that what she sees is what she gets, don't expect him to change.
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
Frito!!! How have you been? Where have you been?
Submitted by Mustang Sally on Fri, 01/09/2009 - 11:54pm.
(Since you asked...) Easy: let your adult kids fuck up on their own. That's what being an adult means.
WTF! Has anyone seen that VH1 Teen Idol show?? When did Adrian Zmed & Billy From fame become GAY??? Damn, I lusted after those 2 and Boy George in the 80's...what the hell was I thinking?!
Anyway, pretty interesting show....they say you don't miss fame until it's gone. Can't wait for Miseralba's number to be up...they all can't stand their picture taken until nobody wants to take their picture...
Ooops. Sorry about the on-topic shit. Bad habit. Hey, has anybody noticed that Taylor Swift can't sing? I think she's really cute and sweet, but listening to her voice sounds like a cat being strangled.
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"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
hi whores!
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"This is why I beat hookers" - Tig from Sons of Anarchy
I'd pay big bucks to see Suri wheeling Tommy in that stroller sucking on a binkie.