The Cheeto Diaries
The Mirror claims that Brit Brit is in negotiations to "write" her life story for £10 million. A source said that if the deal goes through, Brit will somehow put together three to five books in the next ten years. Some source said, "She's kept diaries so there's nothing she'll leave out unless she wants to. Britney will talk frankly about growing up and how she went off the rails. It'll be a gripping read."
As gripping and insightful as that propaganda piece of shit she tried to pass off as a documentary?
I bet Brit Brit's diaries look like the Pee Chee folder of a 7-year-old girl. It's probably all pictures drawn with crayons and water markers. Whenever she thinks a page is really deep, she marks it with a hologram sticker. The publisher should just save some time and release Everyone Poops with Brit's picture on the cover. It'll be the same shit.
And the only chapter I'm interested in reading in Brit's tell-all is the one titled: Hi Yall! Brit Brit here, just want to update you all on the size of my vagina. Its about 4 feet wide with razor sharp teeth.
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lol dementa
Her teenybopper fans will love it and buy it in bulk.
OmGz ~ y'all Britney's really deep~
... so they buy memoirs written in crayon on stapled-together construction paper? Wow. Who knew?
Someone should grab a rough draft, so we can have a betting pool on how many misspelled words are in it. ("Ah wuz borned by the bayoo...")
She is no good and many people are talking about her joining in Sugarbabydate.c om, where the stupid woman wants to find a rich man for new love!! I just feel sad!
Submitted by Trevor Sensible on Tue, 01/20/2009 - 8:32pm.
NARCISISTA.
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That is dangerously close to what I call my own spoiled tramp of a sister. Are you sure you haven't been reading MY diaries? *side eye*...
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
NARCISISTA.
_____________________________
You are who you think you are.
That must be an apple infused with grease, fat and cheeto dust.
Submitted by jiggywiddit on Tue, 01/20/2009 - 6:31pm.
She just realized she could've had a free donut.
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Ha!
♥ ThreadKilla!
DListed WEEK IN REVIEW! Now with beer goggles:)
It'll be a gripping read."
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*yawn*
♥ ThreadKilla!
DListed WEEK IN REVIEW! Now with beer goggles:)
She just realized she could've had a free donut.
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I think I've already been appraised for a couple of hundred pesos, a lame goat and an elderly monkey with a farting problem.--MK
Wasn't there like 3 other times the media "claimed" that she was going to write an autobiography?
And I read on Perez in was for 14 million ... yeah that figure doesn't sound right either.
This retard is allowed to drive herself? RUN!
Let's hope it's not a pop-up book.
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I think I've already been appraised for a couple of hundred pesos, a lame goat and an elderly monkey with a farting problem.--MK
No one wants to read that mess. Her life is already an open book.
"It's unbelievable... Biggie Smalls is the illest"
All the boys and all the girls want to if you seek amy..
wait, daddy..I dont get it. explain it to me again. am i supposed to be amy? wah?..u know i cant read big words.
Chapter 1: Mickey Mouse Club Just Isn't Good Enough For Me!
Chapter 2: Foot Loose- The size Range of the Ever Growing Vagina
Chapter 3: I wonder If The Parternity Test Will Say If their Mine... (Blond Moment)
Chapter Whore: G.I Jane is My Fav Movie
Chapter 5: I Think I Can, I Think I Can! Choo Choo...
~"Hey nice Bitch", I wasn't talking about the dog. LOL J- your horrible~
Working title: "Confessions of a Fuckwit."
"Come, Watson! There's fuckery afoot!."
This is totally being written in "Nell Speak". Chicka-pee, frappa whee!
"Come, Watson! There's fuckery afoot!."
Topanga:
"Confessions of a Disney Prostitot."
Eh. Needs work....*think* *think* *think*
We won't need cliff notes to read the book. Can she even write??????
Topanga:
Ooops, I fucked a paparazzi again
Lucky (you think so? do you want my mother?)
Me Against The Doctors
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"I love Angelina Jolie. She's strong but gorgeous and uses her fame for good to make a big difference in the world. That's a great quality. I'd have a lot in common with her."
-Paris Hilton
And it will be a pop up version. No doubt.
Anyone seen the new Cheeto's commercial with the soccer moms and chester sitting on the bleachers?
I just about died laughing.
submitted by Green Is Good on Tue, 01/20/2009 - 3:29pm.
This hill-billy twat didn't even finish high school.
Aaaaaand chewing with the mouth open AGAIN. Class act all the way, Twatney. Why not take candid pictures of yourself picking your toenails while crapping on the toilet?
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LMAO...I just spewed a piece of sushi outta my nose..didn't taste as good as the way it went in.
Poetential Titles(feel free to add to the list):
Confessions of a Teenage Meth Queen
F*** me Baby One More Time
I Drive Myself Crazy
I'm Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman, Not Quite Sane
Pieces of Me.....is missing...aka my brain
Ooops, I Lost My Mind Again
I'm a Slave for You...(dedicated to my Daddy)
I Can't Get No Custody
*****"Don't have sex, because you will get pregnant and die. Don't have sex in the missionary position, don't have sex standing up, just don't do it, OK, promise? OK, now everybody take some rubbers."*****
WTF? She eats apples?
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
I'd buy it and probably like it...*runs and hides*
Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
"imma singing (ewwww) and dancin' (yaaaaay!"
LOL!
Sept, 15 2008
Dear Diary,
Today, I became really close with a girl named Christina at work. While we were waiting to film a scene together we started having an enlightening conversation about our futures. So we made a bet with eachother and who ever gets the most fame, by any means...wins.
So I devised a plan.
I'm going to become the biggest pop star in the world maybe date Justin if he's famous enough, cheat on him, marry a poor back-up dancer or something have a few kids and commit questionable parenting mistakes, have mental breakdown somehow involving shaving my head, and then make a huge comeback.
Bitch doesn't stand a chance.
That Polly Pocket is MINEEEE!
Submitted by TOPANGA on Tue, 01/20/2009 - 3:32pm.
hahahha, that made me spit all over my keyboard. But you forgot to put in the part where she was allowed to play with her dolls on the weekends..aka her little boys
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"Mama brought them loud dolls who call me "mah-me" over to the house this weekend. I wonder where she bought them. One looks just like Kevin... The other one wanted to play so I let him run out back by the pool by himself."
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CROCS are made in the devil's workshop. Yes, they are!
Who needs to buy that book when that Twitter message said her complete autobiography.
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"Everyone Loves a Fat Guy!" Peter Griffin, Family Guy
Submitted by Nanners on Tue, 01/20/2009 - 3:29pm.
"An then some unicorns came to Taco Bell and made me a chimichanga and Adnan let me buy him a car..."
Fascinating stuff, folks.
hahahha, that made me spit all over my keyboard. But you forgot to put in the part where she was allowed to play with her dolls on the weekends..aka her little boys
*****"Don't have sex, because you will get pregnant and die. Don't have sex in the missionary position, don't have sex standing up, just don't do it, OK, promise? OK, now everybody take some rubbers."*****
"An then some unicorns came to Taco Bell and made me a chimichanga and Adnan let me buy him a car..."
Fascinating stuff, folks.
We don't need the Britney Diaries. She's already shown us her vadge. What else is there to reveal? That she likes spinach?
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CROCS are made in the devil's workshop. Yes, they are!
This hill-billy twat didn't even finish high school.
Aaaaaand chewing with the mouth open AGAIN. Class act all the way, Twatney. Why not take candid pictures of yourself picking your toenails while crapping on the toilet?
double post sorry!****************************1/20/09
"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"thats my favorite bible saying bitch!"
LMAO @ CTH: comingback is her ghost writer!****************************1/20/09
"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"thats my favorite bible saying bitch!"
Another contract for her to bail on. These people should realize who they're dealing with and forget the whole thing.
chewing with her mouth open like the classy bitch she is too. yuck.
STFU!!!
This thing "writes"? Like, she "writes" her own songs? I can see it now
3rs Septemer 1992,
Dear dairy, ivs gots me a luvr bohy! His name is Justin and he's soooooooooooooo cuteeeeeeee. Imma have his babbies and we gon live in a big house, with a whit fence and imma hang all may christinamas light up all year so y'all down how fun i is!
Mamma says imma make her rich, fi'st she's gonna have to get rid all mah future competttion, cos like, imma singing (ewwww) and dancin' (yaaaaay!) on the micy - mikeye - MMC! I's meet this girl, Christina, she's really nice, she gon be a star one day! (she gave mah a dicton - something so i's can spell better!)
Anyways Justin loooooooooooves me, we's snoting up coke together in the rest rooms (hehe)
Britney and Justin 4eva. IDST.
~♥~He is just so much fun and I have the best time with him. Every single day is a way for me to see life through brand new eyes. It really is an incredible thing for me every day." Xtina on Max~♥~
It'll be as gripping as Tolkien, I'm sure.
I really don't want to know what was going through Britney's mind that night she shaved her head bald in front of the whole goddamn world. I'd like that to forever remain a mystery to be pondered for the ages.
I'm assuming she'll be using a ghost writer? I always thought that in order to write a book, one should be able to read something deeper than, "Run, Spot, Run!"
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Du ligner en ged og du lugter af tis.
wow.
just wow.
maybe commingback can step up and help her with this, I'm sure James patterson is shaking in his shoes.
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Child? Fucking grown-man poo. Your anus will be in grown-man shambles.
hahahaha i was just eating an apple
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I never stay on topic :)
*notes from my trapper keeper*
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'fuck you guys. i'm goin' home.'
Chew with your mouth closed! Sheesh!
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I think I've already been appraised for a couple of hundred pesos, a lame goat and an elderly monkey with a farting problem.--MK
She will probably make millions too.
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You got your problems, I got my hash pipe
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ba_NNKyUwEE
"Bench sucking is only for after midnight. Dumb blue motherfucker!" MK 12.30.08
I WOULD TOTALLY READ THAT...YES!
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"This is straight up fuckery."
His Holiness MK, 9/03/08
look, she's dun chawed off at least two of her tips!
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"thats my favorite bible saying bitch!"
ah dunn likes appulls y'all
gimme a frap!
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You got your problems, I got my hash pipe
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ba_NNKyUwEE
"Bench sucking is only for after midnight. Dumb blue motherfucker!" MK 12.30.08
I give up. She's done fooled them all
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"thats my favorite bible saying bitch!"
that should be the beginning of the first chapter seriously. then it would be a real page turner. heh.
STFU!!!