Dakota Fanning Might Get To Frolic Through Robert Pattinson's Magical Forest Hair
Yes, I know that's an old picture of Robert Pattinson and that he's chopped down his magical forest since, but I'm going to pretend he didn't do that. It almost brings tears to my eyes to think of all the homeless unicorns out there. And my skin is allergic to tears, so it's best that I try not to cry.
So, Marc Malkin at E! says nearly 15-year-old Dakota Fanning is having conversations with the producers of the Twilight sequel about being in that mess. A source said they offered her the role of Jane described as " a member of Italy’s Volturi, the most deadly group of bloodsucking killers." A casting notice says Jane is a petite blonde with a “Botticelli angel-like face…[and] crimson irises.” So I guess Dakota will see undead people instead of dead ones? Wait. I'm confusing my child stars.
Since I basically know nothing about this Twilight shit, I asked my resident Twilight-aholic about this casting decision. The bitch bust nuts when he sees apples now, because it reminds him of Twilight. He screamed over IM (I had to cover my eyes), "YES!! YES! yes! O FUCK YES!" And then his next IM read: "But Morgan Fairchild would have been better." I haven't even read one word from a Twilight book and I couldn't agree more. Morgan Fairchild makes everything so much better.
And thanks to Kathy Griffin, every time I see Dakota Fanning, I picture her with a crack pipe.
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Submitted by A.cotw on Fri, 01/23/2009 - 8:34am.
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Oh! The classics!!! I was also a virgin when I read Madam Bovary so I know what you mean...
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Let me dirty up your mind.
Submitted by Lory on Thu, 01/22/2009 - 4:45pm.
Submitted by Mykie7 on Thu, 01/22/2009 - 4:30pm.
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I used to believe I was a romantic, then I realized I really liked porn.
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HAHAHAHA!!!
Actually, I started collecting pornographic novels 1 week after arriving at college-Anais Nin,Henry Miller, and best of all,Victorian/Edwardian porn. It's dirtier. There is something to the idea that abstinence, or at least the image of abstinence, is erotic.
Ever read _Madame Bovary_? That blew the mind of everyone in French III, and I am quite that it hit us hard because all 12 of us in the class were virgins.
@Molotov Cocktease. thank you for the information. I love vampire stories, but I will NEVER buy or read
the Twilight series now that I know some of those royalties went to bankroll Prop.8.
Submitted by carefreea on Thu, 01/22/2009 - 1:41pm.
Ugh Twilight. I don't get it and I was a massive fan of Anne Rice. Flicked through it whilst at a bookshop and had to put it down for fear of retching.
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That's funny. Please allow me to recommend "The World On Blood."
The premise of that novel is that vampires drink blood to get high, not for eternal life, or out of neccessity.
It is HILARIOUS>
I really think that they should get Lucy Hale to play jane. She is more what i had imagined
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San Diego, roughly translated means a Whales Vagina.
uhh i have no comment except MY GOD SHE HAS A GIANT FOREHEAD! Its soo distracting...its blinding me..make it stoppppp
I do not know anything about this Twilight shit but those two are definitely beautiful people.
Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
...dakota will make a decent [PLAIN] jane...
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Foreploy (n.): Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
"Dakota is going through the awkward teens. "
Yup, since birth.
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Foreploy (n.): Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
Submitted by jiggywiddit on Thu, 01/22/2009 - 4:19pm.
Having to look at DF's fug inflicts mental pain.
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Hahahahahahaha, oh that's mean! Dakota is going through the awkward teens. We all can't be Britney *LOL*
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"Mainstreaming is for pussies"- True Blood, Ep. 7
Submitted by Mykie7 on Thu, 01/22/2009 - 4:30pm.
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I see what you mean. I think people that enjoy romantic stories are the ones who genuinely enjoy the Twilight books. The writing style is too juvenile for my liking but I can see how people can get easily attracted to them. They are entertaining. Just like Harry Potter. I used to believe I was a romantic, then I realized I really liked porn.
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Let me dirty up your mind.
To: Lory @ 3:57pm.
I agree, the HP books are LOADS better than this. The writing is cleaner and much more gripping. However, the thing that twilight has (in my opinion) is the ability to take any woman back to the time of her first intense love. HP books can't do that, and I believe that's why so many women are attracted to these books.
Jane is described as a "Harmless looking diminutive girl with the power to burn you from the inside with her stare."
Yeah, Dakota would be PERFECT in this role.
why are peeps being so negative? the first movie introduced all the characters. the 2nd movie will be much better. such haters!
yeah bitches!
Submitted by red_hot_kitchen on Thu, 01/22/2009 - 2:35pm.
The notion of "the eroticism of abstinence" seems like a step backwards from the vampire novel's Victorian roots. I haven't read Twilight, but it sounds like the opposite--sexy on the surface and pure between the lines.
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You are totally correct. The love of Edward and Bella is more about constraint and control than just teen lust. You hit the meaning of the books right on the head! : )
They get married before having sex. The love scenes are dreamy and ethereal with very little description, just Bella overwhelming love for Edward and becoming a "beautiful" vampire. (All the vamps are beautiful, only us poor humans are ugly). Edward is even upset that he's inflicted harm on her human body the first time but Bella feels nothing but all consuming love. ~ugh~
It would fit into the "virtuous erotica" frame very well...
"Mainstreaming is for pussies"- True Blood, Ep. 7
Submitted by stefystef on Thu, 01/22/2009 -
That's actually a good casting.
I read all the books and Jane is a vampire who is able to mentally inflict pain.
.......
Having to look at DF's fug inflicts mental pain.
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Foreploy (n.): Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
That's actually a good casting.
I read all the books and Jane is a vampire who is able to mentally inflict pain. She is supposed to be young and harmless looking and totally evil.
But the next movie is going to suck. Big Time.
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"Mainstreaming is for pussies"- True Blood, Ep. 7
Harry Potter books are better than this shit. They are no Tolkien but you can bet your ass that they are beautifully written, unlike this Mormon pamphlet. The only good thing that ever came from the whole Twilight phenomenon was Robert Pattinson. Wait, what? Oh right, he was in Harry Potter first. My bad. Then I stand corrected, there is NOTHING good about Twilight.
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Let me dirty up your mind.
to each his own. the books are fantasy and an escape...which is what a good book should be able to do...dakota will make a decent jane...whatevers. it's all about team edward. and the person who posted that they layed on a bed and kissed and that's how bella ended up preg DID NOT read the books. i read all 4 books in a week. i could not put them down. i was super ghetto thoguh...i would buy each book at target and then return it when i was done. don't judge! all 4 books would have come out to like $80.00 + (hardcovers).
yeah bitches!
Two thumbs up for me. Dakota Fanning is a good actress IMO. Anyway, Edward won't get down and magical with Jane. They'll just have ridiculous stare downs with vampire goth makeup.
Mmmmm, Robert is soooo fine....
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Official
Damn, Dakota and Ali Lohan are the same age!!
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... Well I'd like to stay and chat, but you're a total bitch! - Stewie.
I've only read the first two books of the series, and based on that, and the fact that I'm sick to death of Dakota Fanning, I'm also going to say that Morgan Fairchild would have been better. Besides, vampires don't age, and neither does Morgan Fairchild, right?
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"Wait until the bitch finds the family of wombats living in her chocha." - MK
if you think that Edward and Bella were laying on the bed kissing and "bam" she got pregnant, then you haven't read the book.
talking out of your ass again......
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In the acting categories, Chihuahua mill-matron Hilton was a double-nominee for her starring work in Nottie and supporting work in Repo: The Genetic Opera, making her the Kate Winslet of this year's race.
-"Submitted by sonne on Thu, 01/22/2009 - 3:16pm"
Really?. Meh, like we need another book to portray the "damsel in distress" stereotype.
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-"I am not about to deal with unstable people" - HEART ANGELINA.
The idea of the story is a good one but once she introduced the triangle with Jacob, holy moron vomit. Bella's belly aching between these two was annoying and not something I'd want any daughter of mine to emulate. Shit, make up your mind and stick to it, bitch! And stop leading the one you don't pick on. Grrr! Not to mention the girl is a total victim and has to be continually saved by the guy. What a lovely message. *rolls eyes*
she the best hustling teen star
how much is she worth so far??
www.thatshideous.com
I have read every Twilight book, apart form the last one.
WHAT FUCKING CRAP.
New Moon is GARBAGE. It's not even worthy to be used as toilet paper.
Urgh, dont even get me started on that utter tripe 'Eclipse'
~♥~He is just so much fun and I have the best time with him. Every single day is a way for me to see life through brand new eyes. It really is an incredible thing for me every day." Xtina on Max~♥~
Submitted by red_hot_kitchen on Thu, 01/22/2009 - 2:48pm.
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We're doomed as a society. That's why I don't understand why people keep breeding in this fucked up world. It's nice in theory, though (the whole having kids thing).
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"Beyonce is just demonstrating what it would sound like if your iPod was playing Aretha Franklin as you dropped it into a wood chipper. Now if someone would just drop Beyonce into a wood chipper." - Team Valtrex
Submitted by la cucaracha on Thu, 01/22/2009 - 2:42pm.
WHAT? Damn, now I have to read those books. I have so many questions now but I don't want to spoil it for people.
Submitted by QueenCharisma on Thu, 01/22/2009 - 2:39pm.
I was just guessing because the movie trailers kind of tricked you into thinking it was sexy.
Where are we going as a society when Twilight and Rock of Love Bus both exist? Why does it have to be one extreme or another? I'm glad I'm not a preteen because there are some serious mixed messages going on.
Submitted by red_hot_kitchen on Thu, 01/22/2009 - 2:35pm.
Submitted by Molotov Cocktease on Thu, 01/22/2009 - 2:19pm.
I haven't read Twilight, but it sounds like the opposite--sexy on the surface and pure between the lines
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Good way to put it!
SPOILER ALERT!!!
Like the scene when Bella becomes pregnant, they just kinda kiss while laying down in the bed and the next thing u know..shes pregs! Its like, ooooooo kkkkkk....not gonna explain at all where babies come from even though you have to do some pretty sexual sh*t in order to get one?
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Blessed with the face of an angel
But hes no stranger to the devil I know
-"Submitted by bitchette on Thu, 01/22/2009 - 2:34pm."
Tee hee. Yeah, book 7 was released a while ago.
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-"I am not about to deal with unstable people" - HEART ANGELINA.
@ bitchette: Yeah, the final Harry Potter already came out. Big ass book, too. But as much as I hate to admit it, I loved it! I even shed tears at certain parts....damn that J.K. Rowlings. I try to avoid shitty teen books like that because they always wind up making me angry at how they talk down to youth like they're stupid, but I can't hate on this series for some reason. The movies are another story - HATE THEM!
@ red hot: Twilight wasn't even sexy on the surface, lol.
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"Beyonce is just demonstrating what it would sound like if your iPod was playing Aretha Franklin as you dropped it into a wood chipper. Now if someone would just drop Beyonce into a wood chipper." - Team Valtrex
Submitted by Molotov Cocktease on Thu, 01/22/2009 - 2:19pm.
bitchette - Stephanie Meyers is a strictly religious Mormon, and wanted to write a book about the "eroticism of abstinence."
That's interesting because what made Dracula sexy was the strain of Victorian suppression. All of the sex was symbolic, but the eroticism is there if you looked between the lines. Most of the movie adaptations don't get this and they just make the sex explicit.
The notion of "the eroticism of abstinence" seems like a step backwards from the vampire novel's Victorian roots. I haven't read Twilight, but it sounds like the opposite--sexy on the surface and pure between the lines.
Submitted by QueenCharisma on Thu, 01/22/2009 - 2:30pm.
yeah, i never really thought i was missing anything big. :P
i'll just keep with harry potter.
can't believe dumbledore died!!
has the seventh book come out yet?? i'm totally having a blank- like i might have already read the last book (if it's come out?) but i can't remember shit!
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'fuck you guys. i'm goin' home.'
@bitchette: You haven't missed anything, trust me. I almost caved into peer pressure and saw the movie, but I just couldn't. Twilight is shit and makes Harry Potter look like Shakespeare.
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"Beyonce is just demonstrating what it would sound like if your iPod was playing Aretha Franklin as you dropped it into a wood chipper. Now if someone would just drop Beyonce into a wood chipper." - Team Valtrex
Submitted by Molotov Cocktease on Thu, 01/22/2009 - 2:24pm.
links for any who care... some are really biased on both sides of the fence so read with caution
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Didn't read any of the articles, just did a quick overview of the listed links.
Comment:
From what I know based on a few of my son's friends who are Mormon, they are not allowed to watch anything that is horror or suggestive of anything occult (It's always difficult for my son to pick out movies or video games here because they all contain blood, guts, gore and gratuitous violence). The perception is that it is an invitation to the devil.
"Erotism of abstinence" is the dumbest crap I have read lately. It doesn't make sense to me.
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-"I am not about to deal with unstable people" - HEART ANGELINA.
lol I get ya bitchette... it's assbackwards and hypocritical
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Cuz' whose to worry if our hearts get torn
When that hurt gets thrown
Don't you notice life goes on
Submitted by Molotov Cocktease on Thu, 01/22/2009 - 2:19pm.
honestly?! eroticism of abstinence. hmmm sexay.
but aparently vampires are totally ok, even tho i'm sure they're not supposed to see harry potter bc wizards don't believe in god. i'm not getting exactly what i mean out but hopefully you get it anyways
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'fuck you guys. i'm goin' home.'
Hmm Dakota does fit the description of Jane. I'm a Twilight freak, I lost sleep just trying to finish the books to move on the the next. Can't wait for New Moon to come already.
links for any who care... some are really biased on both sides of the fence so read with caution
http://www.google.com/search?q=twilight+mormon&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8&aq=t&rl...
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Cuz' whose to worry if our hearts get torn
When that hurt gets thrown
Don't you notice life goes on
I read the first book and its a very easy read, ist good predictable annoying but its ok better than teenagers not reading
unrelated my boss took almost everyone out for lunch expect for me (admin) the document control girl and an old lady that helps out, i am so angry
Frankly my dear, I don't give a Damn!! "Rhett Butler"
Submitted by QueenCharisma on Thu, 01/22/2009 - 2:16pm.
no- i had never heard of this stuff until everyone started cumming over the movie before it even came out. i haven't seen the movie either.
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'fuck you guys. i'm goin' home.'
bitchette - Stephanie Meyers is a strictly religious Mormon, and wanted to write a book about the "eroticism of abstinence." Looking for links now
Clarisse - dude. I was so excited at the idea of a QotD movie, and when I saw it I was pissed. The whole origin of the entire fucking race of Vamps was completely removed. Maharet and Mekare, anyone? Oh man, my blood pressure is starting to rise just thinking about it.
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Cuz' whose to worry if our hearts get torn
When that hurt gets thrown
Don't you notice life goes on
I love reading, but somehow these books haven't attracted my attention. I don't know if the reviews are a bit harsh, but most have said those are written poorly. Worthy of a teen drama queen. I have no problem with love stories if they are good but if I want an overdose of sugary love, I'll read Barbara Cartland instead. And those are super cheesy, man.
Dakota is a good actress so maybe she'll be able to lift that Twilight mess a little bit.
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-"I am not about to deal with unstable people" - HEART ANGELINA.
@ bitchette: Whoops, read your post wrong! LOL...yeah, have no idea why a Mormon would make vampire anything since vampirism is a metaphor for sex. And have you read the books? I read the first one and was utterly PISSED! No sex, no killing, the romance was cheesy....just bad all around.
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"Beyonce is just demonstrating what it would sound like if your iPod was playing Aretha Franklin as you dropped it into a wood chipper. Now if someone would just drop Beyonce into a wood chipper." - Team Valtrex
rock those unicorns dakota... though i think dakota is a step in the right direction she is very young and that makes the series even younger than it already is. we'll see!
letterstotwilight.com
Adolescents drive pop culture.....I know those books are asinine and theres waaaaaay better shit in the world to read but an idealistic teenager who knows nothing of life and is easily mesmerized by whats on the outside rather than whats in would loooovvveee reading a book where every character is as beautiful as anything in life.....you can get some good fantises off that!
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Blessed with the face of an angel
But hes no stranger to the devil I know
I wish they'd keep with relative unknowns.
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Fuck these bitches. I got my own problems. - The Fly
Submitted by QueenCharisma on Thu, 01/22/2009 - 2:12pm.
mormons???
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'fuck you guys. i'm goin' home.'