Friday, January 23rd 2009

They Are Putting Each Other To Sleep

WAKE UP and smell the lubed-up butt plug in your ass, Matthew! You've got a photo-op to fake smile for.

These two have the sexual chemistry of a dying salamander and white dog caca (StepBrothers 4 EVA). It's a good thing Matthew Broderick keeps a picture of a hard wang on his cell phone at all times, so he can glance it every few minutes to get an extra shot of energy or. Seriously, SJP and Matthew look like they would rather be getting a genital rub from Freddy Krueger. Their clothes even look miserable. Slap him with a dick and slap her with a carrot.

Here's Ladyhawke and his little pony telling everyone "We're holding hands! This means we're happy!" in NYC last night.


Posted by: Michael K


literarylioness's picture

There is something so wrong about that purple purse with that outfit. What a bad shot of them with their eyes closed.

My biggest problem with SJP is how she thinks she is so it in "Sex and the City." No guy I know would give her that kind of time yet we are suppose to believe she is in great demand in NYC? What a fantasy! Mr. Big, Aiden, Burger, and all those other guys would not have been giving SJP the time of day.

Noelegy's picture

Hey. Don't bring "Ladyhawke" into this. That movie kicks heinie. Rutger Hauer at his hottest. Alan Parsons did the soundtrack. Matthew was just a cute little footnote.

***************
Did I dream this belief or did I believe this dream?
--Peter Gabriel

WAKE UP and smell the lubed-up butt plug in your ass, Matthew! You've got a photo-op to fake smile for.

It's when I read stuff like this that I realize how much I love this place!

I'm just a bit curious.The Magazine HOLLYWOOD GOSSIP reported her profiles were found on the famous rich men seeking affairs site ***wealthymeetup. c om*** last week and she was seeking her sugar daddy there now!

erinnyc's picture

MK, I love your humor, but why do you constantly attack these nice people? And then adore Rojo? You only know of Rojo because of SJP, in the end. Well, not that you know Rojo's end (read rear). These two are an intelligent and thoughtful couple who I admire, and who have entertained us for quite a while. Lay off for a bit. I'm just sayin.' Still love you and will continue to read...

BootGirl's picture

"Submitted by Udokier on Fri, 01/23/2009 - 12:10pm.
I've been in a sham marriage and I looked bloated and beat like that too. If that's what this really is, then my heart goes out to both of them, because it is such a painful place to be, especially if you're both in denial about it and you don't know why.

I hope they can find happiness somehow."

Katiebot. It's not the first time you've been told to run. Quit bitching and get out of there!!!!

________________________________________________
"I meant what I said!"
"What, do you want me to spell it; bless it, or do some interpretive dance?"

patty cake's picture

run lil pony run.....

xoxox

The war isn't working.

patty cake's picture

poor lil pony.
She isnt happy... she should out him and get on with her life!!! I like SJP...she shouldnt be with him. He is miserable and fat always walking around the village all scouly. What's he so mad about? Just out yourself and let my pony go.

xoxox

The war isn't working.

lonestartx's picture

WTF? Say it isn't so!? FBDO was my fav movie in 1986 and I've always wanted my man to be as sure about marrying me as Ferris was about marrying Simone.

MB then actually married SJP who was in my 2nd fav movie, Footloose!!

All seemed well for so long....OMG, my world has crumbled, where does the fuckery end? :(

Signed,

hopeless romantic xoxo

blacklakemonster's picture

If anybody has a bet who is the man in that relationship; I have $50 on the one not wearing pants

Dirk Diggler's picture

For all of you who wonder about SJP and her shoes, know that standing at 5'1, she is a shrimp. Our favorite diminutive horsey needs to jack it up a little.

Freak Speely's picture

She needs to be put down. They shoot horsefaces, don't they?

He, OTOH, is dying to come out of the closet but he's hidden behind too many pairs of Jimmy Choos.

moomarse's picture

Submitted by dementa on Fri, 01/23/2009 - 1:48pm.
Can someone explain to me why she feels the need to wear SatC shoes day and night even when NOT shooting lame-ass movies? They can't be comfortable, and she's probably damaging her feet to judge by the giant veins we see on them.

>> me thinks her feet are permanately damaged, like Chinese binding did. Plus, we're they getting divorced? Doesn't he have a hoochie slut somewhere?...

It sounds like I'll need to be drunk, stoned and suffering from a minor concussion to deal with this fuckery. MK - 11/24/2008

Bondagebarbie's picture

He is as gay as the day is long and she is a total fugster but she does have pretty grey eyes....and that's about all that is good on her.

Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.

Silvara0428's picture

Wonder if ole Matti gets paid to be her ferrier?

(yes, my mind thinks up stupid sh*t like this all day).
~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~

"We do not gnaw on our kitties"
Dr. Evil

Tracy Lynn's picture

Why do they both only have the top button of their coats buttoned up? It looks kinda weird.

gyeah's picture

He was so cute in War Games = \ aging sucks

Can someone explain to me why she feels the need to wear SatC shoes day and night even when NOT shooting lame-ass movies? They can't be comfortable, and she's probably damaging her feet to judge by the giant veins we see on them.

Why do we never see her wandering around in ballet flats or something?

LuLu Fitz's picture

Submitted by devilgirl on Fri, 01/23/2009 - 1:28pm.

Now in the event of a divorce, would she then be sent to the glue factory?
----------------------------------

Ha!

TITS- You poor dear! My nose hairs are on end just thinking about the smell!

rotten_egg's picture

What happened to Matthew Broderick?. I know he wasn't the manliest man around, but at least he didn't look like a manly lesbian. Ah, well. I still like some of his movies.

**************
-"I am not about to deal with unstable people" - HEART ANGELINA.

Now in the event of a divorce, would she then be sent to the glue factory?

LuLu Fitz's picture

I am not getting the gay vibe from Matty.

TITS's picture

Submitted by devilgirl on Fri, 01/23/2009 - 1:07pm.

There are carriage horses here where I live. I ride by them on my bike all the time and the stench is out of this world. Sinus clearing even.

The poop gets caught in these hanging shit sacks so the smell stays and stays. Sometimes is spills out and hits the road. Not nice for bikes.

I'd only pay to go on one of those rides if the horses galloped through the park or reared up and hoofed a car.

.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.

paris herpes's picture

HEY! I'm here to defend Matthew, he's a funny actor and I've liked him since Ferris Bueller! He's seriously NOT as annoying as SJP either. And he was awesome in Election as a teacher!

STFU!!!

paris herpes's picture

They need to stop shooting up before they go out, Matthew looks like he's about to pass out at any moment!

STFU!!!

TITS- I love that episode with Rusty!

TITS's picture

Submitted by Team Valtrex on Fri, 01/23/2009 - 1:02pm.

I want to make a seinfield farting horse reference but would think less of myself for it.

.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.

Team Valtrex's picture

They always talk about how cruel it is to have carriage horses working in NYC, but at least Matthew is buying this one dinner.

***********************************************
I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.

ms foofoo's picture

if it wasn't for SJP i would say Matthew Who?

i like her purse. i wonder who made it.

Submitted by Team Valtrex on Fri, 01/23/2009 - 12:52pm.
Submitted by TITS on Fri, 01/23/2009 - 12:50pm.
Those shoes can't be comfortable.
***********************************************

Tell it to the Blacksmith, those hooves can't be easy to fit though.

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Matt thinks that they are!

This is one couple where I look at them and totally think, "Yeah, at least one of them is probably gay." The alternative is too horrific: that they actually found each other attractive at some point.

That said, she looks like a horse and he looks like a sleepy boozer. They'll probably pay some "body language" hack to tell the tabs "Oh, they're so in love! See how her ankles aren't crossed when he's around? ETERNAL JOY AND LUUUUURRRVVVEEEEEE..."

RedWeatherTigerD's picture

I've always liked SJP; I think she has gorgeous eyes and a great smile.

And I've always thought Matthew was a tremendous douche.

Team Valtrex's picture

Submitted by TITS on Fri, 01/23/2009 - 12:50pm.
Those shoes can't be comfortable.
***********************************************

Tell it to the Blacksmith, those hooves can't be easy to fit though.

***********************************************
I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.

TITS's picture

Those shoes can't be comfortable.

.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.

snowpiece's picture

mike: ferris and cameron had the love that dare not speak it's name
****************************1/20/09
"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"why is there a dead Pakistani on my couch"!?!

lizzieb's picture

Submitted by Sheeps on Fri, 01/23/2009 - 12:34pm.
Submitted by lizzieb on Fri, 01/23/2009 - 12:27pm.

hahahaha. Sawwy. The purple purse would go well with a fringed purple suede one-piece pantsuit outfit--think Prince.

Now you're talking. That's my date night outfit right there.

*******************************************
If you can't be a good example, be a horrible warning. I'm talking to you actually.

parissucksliterally's picture

mike, I love you, but you are in serious denial.

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Oh they tell me
There's still time to save my soul
They tell me
-Tracy Chapman "Mountains O' Things"

lizardo911's picture

I don't think she is that ugly. I know a lot of people that have uglier faces than she does. They aren't in the public eye though. So, I give her credit for being out there and pulling her hair back and not caring that her face isn't the prettiest in the world. Confidence is prettier than physcial beauty.

angel_i's picture

They Are Putting Each Other To Sleep
***************************

LOL!

♥ ThreadKilla!
DListed WEEK IN REVIEW!
I take a couple uppers, I down a couple downers
But nothing compares to these blue and yellow Purple Pills!

Submitted by lizzieb on Fri, 01/23/2009 - 12:27pm.

hahahaha. Sawwy. The purple purse would go well with a fringed purple suede one-piece pantsuit outfit--think Prince.

Quick...
Get the body language lady from O'Reily.

lizzieb's picture

Submitted by Sheeps on Fri, 01/23/2009 - 11:55am.
Whoever picked that purse (= handbag in UK) was colorblind.

That's the last time I put in helpful translations if I am to be mocked. And it's 'colourblind'
The bag is nice- I love purple. The rest meh. I don't think he's gay either but what would I know......

*******************************************
If you can't be a good example, be a horrible warning. I'm talking to you actually.

Poopele's picture

They look like Munchkins!

Stock Broker's picture

Oh...and I forgot to say:

These 2 needs to suck on some Juan Valdez for the caffeine.

They look like roadkill.

KD's picture

Mike- I must say, I am one of the few people on here that agrees with you on this one, so it seems. I don't think either of them are gay.

Deb's picture

Matthew looks like he just swallowed back some barf.

"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson

M.E.'s picture

I saw Kevin Spacey in 'Superman Returns' last night.

I don't like him as Lex Luther. Not evil enough.

Stock Broker's picture

Mike ~ hate to tell you bud, but even Stevie Wonder can see that Ferris Bueller is gay.

WTFOMGLOL's picture

Wow. Has anyone ever seen him and Kevin Spacey in the same place at the same time ? Cause I'm thinking they're one and the same person now.

OMG. Ferris has gotten ooooolldld and tired.