Dear Salma, He'll Only Take Your Magnificent Chichis For Granted
In 2004, Salma Hayek and Colin Farrell made a shit show together called Ask the Dust. Never heard of it? That's because it's busy collecting dust in the back of every Blockbuster video that's still open (insert grim face here). While they were filming Blockbuster's future least-rented movie, they got it on. It didn't last long, because Colin was a busted mess back then.
Colin now claims he's all cleaned up and is ready to romance Salma a second time. Star Magazine (via TOTI) says that at the Golden Globes a couple of weeks ago, Colin got close to Salma's golden globes. Some nosy ho said, "While they were both backstage, he held her face and kissed her several times. It was very intimate, not just like they were pals."
Salma, Salma, Salma, never get involved with a Colin Farrell. He will never worship your holy tittays the way they deserve to be worshiped. Just let him motorboat for a few seconds, squirt a little Palmolive in his hair (please do that), give him some cab money and send him on his way.
Seriously, Salma deserves someone who will recite sweet poetry to her chichis every night. And bathe them in cocoa butter every morning. Someone who will skip with them through fields of flowers and gently hold them when they get frightened during a lightning storm. Someone who will bow every time they enter a room and weep every time they exit.
Colin won't do any of that. He'll just say, "You've got nice tits. Can I drop my jizz party on them, babe?" Blasphemy!
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I'm sure there's truth to their relationship, where there's smoke there's a fire, are you afraid of the fact they make A MORE INTERESTING COUPLE than Brangelina? because they do.
TO KEANE: So if their relationship is a pr then what does that say about
BRANGELINA'S relationship a big PR which never ends, it's a day in and day out 24 / 7 using their fake relationship (even bradly conformed it by saying : i'm in it as long as it lasts ), their fake children they did it so they can use them for publicity & those other 3 poor adopted ones which they are using to win back people's support for the PR stunt they did by hooking up together, they are fake, shanks & disgusting not everyone is like them, contrary Colin Farrell always keeps his private life private(including his kid) he doesn't use him for publicity Unlike brangelina, as far as sexuality goes brangelina are famous for being Bisexual MANGIE having a lot of female partners in the past & present while being with Bradly & bradly being bisexual, having Clooney as his life time partner so don't accuse other people to what Brangelina are practicing, you wished your bradly would love a woman the way Colin Farrell does. Colin Farrell is an A- list actor who won the Golden Globe Award for his brilliant acting in *in bruges* who doen't need PR for publicity (a good actor doen't need it & it's not his fault because he won the golden globe, now media wants to find out about his private life) unlike brangelina who are only GOSSIP CELEBS & their acting SUCK despite of losing repeatedly, they don't stop buying nominations by threatening not showing up if they are not nominated, stop hating Colin Farrell just because he's a YOUNG brilliant actor , a gorgeous sexy hot one & your bradly is over the hill, a hag & a very bad actor which is known to everybody as such.
I am wondering how she keeps her so fit! I appreciate her beautiful face very much! If I am as beautiful as her, I will date to a handsome millionaire at
^^^^^^^^^^richcupid net^^^^^^^^^^^^
Totally made up PR bullshit. Like someone said its just to get the 2 of them some attention as neither of them have had a great deal lately. Believe at your peril. I'm almost 100% sure she's been with Peny Cruz for years, that billionaire guy was just the sperm donor and Colin is bisexual and into more manly women at most. All PR tosh.
This is exciting news on MANY levels:
1) They're a hot couple.
2) I resemble Salma Hayek A LOT- despite the fact that I am a "natural" blonde. Seriously though, I get told I am a rubia Salma all the time.
3) I am in LOOOOOOOOOOOVE with Colin Farrell (always have been, always will be) and just knowing that he's VERY attracted to someone I resemble gives me a glimmer of hope that someday, when I run into him, he'll fall madly in love with me and we'll shag 24/7. I would let this man go balls deep! :)
4) I am just happy he's not with someone boring or stupid like the queen of Cheetos, Ms. Brit Brit Spears.
Submitted by jackymoney on Wed, 01/28/2009 - 10:16am.
Oh don't start that bullshit up again *doink!*
(¯`'•.¸(¯`'•.¸♥¸.•'´¯)¸.•'´¯)
2007~It was a truly magical time in Shitneyland.
"jim is our Dollar Store version of commingback." -christine the hoff 12/04/2008
Hey, wait a minute, damnit. "Ask the Dust" was a pretty good movie, based on a book by a legendary author.
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NEW POST, PUH-LEEZE! Did MK fall into a snowbank and freeze to death on the way home from the bar last night?
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So what if some of the crayons are missing; use the ones still in the box. Maybe the world needs a purple horse.
"Seriously, Salma deserves someone who will recite sweet poetry to her chichis every night. And bathe them in cocoa butter every morning. Someone who will skip with them through fields of flowers and gently hold them when they get frightened during a lightning storm. Someone who will bow every time they enter a room and weep every time they exit."
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Sheeps, who knew MK would post your perfect job description?!
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I almost gave two shits once, but I figured I'd better save one in case I ever gave a shit.
Not only would we like to extract (by the traditional oral method) Colin's man-goo but - if the truth be told - our tongue might wander over to Colin's 'no-no' as well!!!
Who could resist this hottie he's such brilliant actor and i love his short spiky hair.
I wouldn't even need to do the dirty with Colin. He could just whisper in my ear with that hot Irish accent of his and I would then have to change my panties. ;)
This seems like something set up by their PR people to bring attention to them.
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Never go with a Hippy to a Second Location
I like to be a fly in their wall while they're making passionate love their would lots of firecrkers that's for sure, i love these two together i hope it's really true.
Colin Farrell is a the hottie, they make one hot couple they have alot of things in common, they both are passionate people, down to earth and with a good heart.
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Stylist to Solange Knowles
Submitted by moosh on Wed, 01/28/2009 - 1:49am.
Weird couple...but she's so cleeeaan.....
............
And he's so diiirrty.
Srsly. Even when he's clean shaven he gives off a stanky, dirty, naughty... *lost in daydream*... what was I talking about again? Oh yeah, Salma.
Yeah, she got chi chi's that could crack nuts.
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Know why they don't play Rock / Paper / Scissors / Pussy? Because NOTHING beats pussy! -- Toom Viltrax
Weird couple...but she's so cleeeaan.....
puurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr,
moosh
http://twoliablog.com/teacups-and-couture/
She'll probably just ride his wiener a few times and move on.
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"People who try to pretend they're superior make it so much harder for those of us who really are."
-Hyacinth
Submitted by grapedrinkbaby on Wed, 01/28/2009 - 1:17am.
Team V: what evil have you stirred up this eveing?????
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none so far, but it's early
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
I'm soooooo tired today...family drama! Night guys!!!
Team V: what evil have you stirred up this eveing?????
I hate to break up this discussion of body parts, but I did want to say that I actually saw Ask The Dust and liked it.
I have to say that Colin Farrel is my Drug of Choice or my DOC...back when i used to work with female crack addicts, one said, "What is this DOC?...Dick of Choice?"
I swear to God, true story!
shes short with fat boobs i cannot see any nice there EVER!
Submitted by grapedrinkbaby on Wed, 01/28/2009 - 1:10am.
You rang?
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Tue, 01/27/2009 - 11:02pm.
Submitted by angel_i on Tue, 01/27/2009 - 10:54pm.
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Tue, 01/27/2009 - 10:44pm.
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I'LL TAKE THE TINY TIMS...I have a deceptively small 'giney, so I ain't about the big peens...OUCHIES...Small dicks rule!
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OMG! We agree! I thought that was never gonna happen again! *sigh*
(((HUGS!!!)))
Wait. What's small?
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Fuck if I know what's small, but I know what's big...and that shit HURTS...NOT HWAT! Now I ain't never seen no micropenis...I know they exist, but I ain't never seen one...Oh, wait, I almost lost my virginity to one, and I say almost, cuz, yeah, one eyed worm didn't quite pop the cherry if I ain't bein' too subtle, so imagine my surprise upon losing my virginity AGAIN! Am I sharing too much here? If so, go get a drink...I keed, I keed, I'll stop, but yeah, I like a smallish peen....
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i can't believe i'm gonna admit this, but i too, am a fan the average peen...i also relate to the small giney issue which...Like yourself, I too had a secondary virginity experience...really freaked me out...thought something had gotten my innerds real messed up...but it was all ok
Submitted by Bondagebarbie on Tue, 01/27/2009 - 11:20pm.
Salma is way out of Colin's league...she can and should stick to her sugar daddies.
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Actually, you know - I think she's got a throw in a Colin here and there for edge. Cuz edge is one of the things I like about Salma...She's edgy class....like, you know she's just gonna toss him aside like a used wet wipe and go back where she belongs.
♥ ThreadKilla!
Happy Birthday, DLISTED!!!
I take a couple uppers, I down a couple downers
But nothing compares to these blue and yellow Purple Pills!
He'll just say, "You've got nice tits. Can I drop my jizz party on them, babe?"
See now I would have said,"You've got UNBELIEVABLY nice tits".
Have a little respect!
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And. it's worth mentioning, Colin has the attention span of three year old.
Clean Colin, dirty druggy Colin, he'd be worth the short term fest o' secksy times, long term, not so much.
"Going gray is like ejaculating. You know it can happen prematurely, but when it actually does, it's a total shock." MAH BOO!!!
VOTE 4 MK http://2009.bloggies.com/
Submitted by a f r on Tue, 01/27/2009 - 9:04pm.
MK, you are actually wrong about this. I know him--met him right before he started filming Alexander--and Colin Farrell can be really sweet and down to earth.
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Youb lucky ho, you! I heard he's still not over his performance in alexander, he hates how terrible that film was and is super sensitive about it. I fell back in celeb-love with the guy when he did In Bruges. That's a fantastic little Indie flick, I highly recommend it. Oh, plus the thing about how he raises his little boy. The guy's irresistably sexy and lovely. Love Colin Farrell. Nothin but love here, nothin but love.
But I don't really see him and Salma as a well-matched couple. Something's - off about that potential union. Something doesn't fit. yeah, she's in adifferent league than him, I think perhaps. Not that this is a BAD thing per se, just - ill-matched, or something.
I don't care. Latina women...The BF & I think...gorgeous! Wish I had that beautiful skin and looks..Salma...We lurves her!!
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That lil' lint bastid will be back within the hour snorting your Borax with a rolled up dollar bill. Trust....TigerLilly 10.24.2008
He can take me for granted and my chi chi's.
OLE!
"Going gray is like ejaculating. You know it can happen prematurely, but when it actually does, it's a total shock." MAH BOO!!!
VOTE 4 MK http://2009.bloggies.com/
Salma is way out of Colin's league...she can and should stick to her sugar daddies.
Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Tue, 01/27/2009 - 11:02pm.
Fuck if I know what's small, but I know what's big...and that shit HURTS...NOT HWAT! Now I ain't never seen no micropenis...I know they exist, but I ain't never seen one...Oh, wait, I almost lost my virginity to one, and I say almost, cuz, yeah, one eyed worm didn't quite pop the cherry if I ain't bein' too subtle, so imagine my surprise upon losing my virginity AGAIN! Am I sharing too much here? If so, go get a drink...I keed, I keed, I'll stop, but yeah, I like a smallish peen....
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You're GRRRRRRREAT! Tigerlilly:)
I once touched a pencil dick. Under the covers, like. And then I ran away screaming. Well, as smoothly as I could without the running or the screaming being too noticeable. It was a LONG time ago...one o dem: defining moments, like:)
♥ ThreadKilla!
Happy Birthday, DLISTED!!!
I take a couple uppers, I down a couple downers
But nothing compares to these blue and yellow Purple Pills!
Wow, Salma knows how to pick the gross ones (Edward Norton, rich old guy, Colin Farrell).
Submitted by angel_i on Tue, 01/27/2009 - 10:54pm.
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Tue, 01/27/2009 - 10:44pm.
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I'LL TAKE THE TINY TIMS...I have a deceptively small 'giney, so I ain't about the big peens...OUCHIES...Small dicks rule!
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OMG! We agree! I thought that was never gonna happen again! *sigh*
(((HUGS!!!)))
Wait. What's small?
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Fuck if I know what's small, but I know what's big...and that shit HURTS...NOT HWAT! Now I ain't never seen no micropenis...I know they exist, but I ain't never seen one...Oh, wait, I almost lost my virginity to one, and I say almost, cuz, yeah, one eyed worm didn't quite pop the cherry if I ain't bein' too subtle, so imagine my surprise upon losing my virginity AGAIN! Am I sharing too much here? If so, go get a drink...I keed, I keed, I'll stop, but yeah, I like a smallish peen....
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
I'm pretty sure he's put the moves on Salman Rushdie if the dude stood still long enough.
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
He can take my chichis for granted any time he wants.
"I love my tail in these jeans!"
I totally respect him as the loving father of a disabled child, and I kind of am starting to like him as an actor...
... but I'd have sex with a tree sloth before I'd shag Colin Farrell. Hairy men don't do it for me, and hairy slutty men are a total no-no. He fucked Britney, for Jack Nicholson's sakes.
redpoint, uhhhhh... dunno. Envy over the attention they get?
Submitted by Charles Manson on Tue, 01/27/2009 - 10:51pm.
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Cholly, when you quote the Bible like that, you give me Jalapeno panty pudding! CALIENTE...and HWAT!
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Tue, 01/27/2009 - 10:44pm.
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I'LL TAKE THE TINY TIMS...I have a deceptively small 'giney, so I ain't about the big peens...OUCHIES...Small dicks rule!
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OMG! We agree! I thought that was never gonna happen again! *sigh*
(((HUGS!!!)))
Wait. What's small?
♥ ThreadKilla!
Happy Birthday, DLISTED!!!
I take a couple uppers, I down a couple downers
But nothing compares to these blue and yellow Purple Pills!
I CORINTHIANS 13:1-13 THOUGH I SPEAK WITH THE TONGUES OF MEN AND OF ANGELS, AND HAVE NOT CHARITY, I AM BECOME AS SOUNDING BRASS, OR A TINKLING CYMBAL. AND THOUGH I HAVE THE GIFT OF PROPHECY, AND UNDERSTAND ALL MYSTERIES, AND ALL KNOWLEGE; AND THOUGH I HAVE ALL FAITH, SO THAT I COULD REMOVE MOUNTAINS, AND HAVE NOT CHARITY, I AM NOTHING. AND THOUGHT I BESTOW ALL MY GOODS TO FEED THE POOR, AND THOUGH I GIVE MY BODY TO BE BURNED, AND HAVE NOT CHARITY, IT PROFITETH ME NOTHING. CHARITY SUFFERETH LONG, AND IS KIND; CHARITY ENVIETH NOT; CHARITY VAUNTETH NOT ITSELF, IS NOT PUFFED UP. DOTH NOT BEHAVE ITSELF UNSEEMLY, SEEKETH NOT HER OWN, IS WHEN I WAS A CHILD, I SPAKE AS A CHILD. I UNDERSTOOD AS A CHILD. I THOUGHT AS A CHILD; BUT WHEN I BECAME A MAN, I PUT AWAY CHILDISH THINGS. FOR NOW WE SEE THROUGH A GLASS, DARKLY; BUT THEN FACE TO FACE; NOW I KNOW IN PART; BUT THEM SHALL I KNOW EVEN AS ALSO I AM KNOWN AND NOW ABIDETH FAITH, HOPE, CHARITY, THESE THREE; BUT THE GREATEST OF THESE IS CHARITY.
THIS is a sex tape I'd actually want to see.
☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
Interviewer: You're playing one of the most famous characters in movie history. How come we don't see you in all the tabloids?
Daniel Craig: Because I don't want to be in them.
Submitted by jiggywiddit on Tue, 01/27/2009 - 10:39pm.
I think they posted that he IS a little dick, not that he has one.
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
Submitted by jiggywiddit on Tue, 01/27/2009 - 10:39pm.
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Tue, 01/27/2009 - 10:33pm.
Submitted by jiggywiddit on Tue, 01/27/2009 - 10:24pm
Re: Colin Farrell--I would let him do me for free, but--didn't some ho post on here awhile back about Irish men having small peens?
Like, Bono has a wee little man or some stuff like that?
I canNOT waste my time on the Tiny Tims of this world, even if they's loaded with the bank.
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I'LL TAKE THE TINY TIMS...I have a deceptively small 'giney, so I ain't about the big peens...OUCHIES...Small dicks rule!
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Tue, 01/27/2009 - 10:33pm.
Submitted by jiggywiddit on Tue, 01/27/2009 - 10:24pm
Re: Colin Farrell--I would let him do me for free, but--didn't some ho post on here awhile back about Irish men having small peens?
Like, Bono has a wee little man or some stuff like that?
I canNOT waste my time on the Tiny Tims of this world, even if they's loaded with the bank.
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I am totally for people getting the meds they need. --Hekki
No funbags for douchebags, Colon.
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.