Thursday, January 29th 2009
Open Post: Hosted By The Segway Face-Plant
The title says it all. This is an open post where you can talk about whatever, but I hope you talk about this bitch falling on her face in a convention center (or wherever the fuck she is). I'm having a hard time putting this wonderful moment into words even though I've watched it eleventy times. I love seeing people eat floor, but seeing them eat floor while riding on a Segway is even better. Way better. And yes, I'll probably be ran over by a Segway sometime today for laughing at this shit, but it will be worth it.
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Submitted by Miss Thang on Fri, 01/30/2009 - 1:42am.
I hated my roommate so much one time that before i moved out our apt., i poured some water in her laptop, shook it around, then dried up the excess water. idk if it actually worked but damn i felt soooo good after
my ex flat mate used to steal all of my clothes (yes even my bra's and knickers) so when I moved out my girlfriend and I went back , climbed in the window, found my fave jeans and couldn't leave without some revenge, so my girlfriend decided to knife her waterbed but to make it better she put a huge gash right along the seam-revenge is so sweet!
Goodnite ppl!
I am just too much. - Joan Crawford
grape, me and her were really close friends b4 that, i guess that's why i was angrier at her for not thinking it was a big deal or even giving a fuck. She knew i was vulnerable and she knew i just wanted to be able to relax in my own house. He was an asshole, but I felt violated even more by her constantly inviting him over.. i mean, it would be like 3-4 times a week.. anyways, whatevs
I am just too much. - Joan Crawford
Submitted by meadowgirl on Fri, 01/30/2009 - 1:30am.
i peed on The Dickhead Ex's toothbrush the last time i saw him. i drank the biggest fucking bottle of water i could and peed on his brand new toothbrush!
I know a guy who pulled himself off into his ex's hair conditioner when she kicked him out lol.
i luuurv u all too but my sinus infected self has got to try get some sleep...night all!!
G'night, Open Post threaders.
GrapeD, thanks for the kindness and the giggles.
Tits, get help stat (kiddin').
Miss Thang, no pee pee on my puter please, Thankies!
~
Submitted by Oxygen on Fri, 01/30/2009 - 1:37am.
Best revenge right now...give a mutha a "Peenut" butter paste sandwich with a coke and a smile. Love you sluts. Goodnight.
~
Lmao! Salmonella via peanut butter? BRILL!
Sticky sweet dreams,
Home
Miss Thang: the way i see it is, the man did the crime and had to do the time
lmao Home.. she made my life miserable so whatever.. it was 3 yrs ago & i havent heard from her since so im pretty sure i'd never get caught.. damn, maybe it didnt work :(
I am just too much. - Joan Crawford
she introduced me to this guy, her boyfriend's friend, who she KNEW had a girlfriend. She was all "he's your type and i want u to go on a double date with us." so me and him started dating, then i found out the truth and confronted him & he turned into a psycho calling me a bitch and everything else. so i told him i don't tolerate anyone disrespecting me like that and it was over. but my bitch of a roommate continued inviting him and her boyfriend to the house like shit was fuckin honky dory & he would be lookin at me like bitch i'm up in yo house still & u can't do anything about it. i'd beg her not to invite him, but she'd be all "he's my bf's friend" so anyway i had to get back at that ugly slut
I am just too much. - Joan Crawford
Submitted by Home on Thu, 01/29/2009 - 11:46pm.
I have a "Period underwear" rant.
Grr. I have a drawer full of undies [once pretty] ruined by "Aunt Flo" and so I've relegated my "monthlies" to re-wearing those damaged goods when I'm ragging and it just makes me angry because being on the crimson tide is bad enough but having to wear stained undies from my "trail of tears" period ravaged undergarments really chaps my already chapped hide.
There. I feel better.
I take that back. No, I don't. I'm still really angry. Probably because I'm wearing a pair as I type this.
TMI rant over.
Thanks for understanding/reading/listening.
soak them in a bucket with sugar soap and water and 'shazam' stains gone. Sugar soap is THE most wonderful invention believe me!!
GrapeD, I found the lil' penguin dude so many eons ago I can't honestly name the source? Please right click and save it though! It sho nuff isn't mine. :)
Miss Thang, ruining someone's property is not cool. That's illegal! Making them sicker than shit by tainting their food is illegal too but harder to prove. lol
Submitted by Miss Thang on Fri, 01/30/2009 - 1:42am.
I hated my roommate so much one time that before i moved out our apt., i poured some water in her laptop, shook it around, then dried up the excess water. idk if it actually worked but damn i felt soooo good after
++++
i bet it did work...what all did she do to you?
it is a delicious treat and so versatile...goes with so many things...one of my favorites is a dollup on top of a hot chocolate...Damn, drool is running down my chin right now
I hated my roommate so much one time that before i moved out our apt., i poured some water in her laptop, shook it around, then dried up the excess water. idk if it actually worked but damn i felt soooo good after
I am just too much. - Joan Crawford
Home: where did you get your happy, little, jump roping penguin...i love him!...whenever i see his smiling, i can't help but smile
Cool whip is the "Cotton Candy" of faux whipped cream.
Ahhhhhhhh. I've made oral love to many a tub of Cool whip. I'm sure some of those chemicals still exist in my DNA.
Giving up cool whip was hard too. It's addictive! It's the crack cocaine of the frickin' dairy section! It doesn't even BELONG in DAIRY... It belongs in the, "This shit will outlast YOU!" section (you know, Velveeta is right up there too).
Best revenge right now...give a mutha a "Peenut" butter paste sandwich with a coke and a smile. Love you sluts. Goodnight.
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http://www.myspace.com/oxygen162
TITS: all i know is you said something about peeing on him or try not to pee on him????
I think we need to a go sit down and get out some of this shame your carrying about your "little obssession'. Everyone loves you, TITS. You're in the trust tree. Go ahead and get honest...
Submitted by meadowgirl on Fri, 01/30/2009 - 1:30am.
i peed on The Dickhead Ex's toothbrush the last time i saw him. i drank the biggest fucking bottle of water i could and peed on his brand new toothbrush!
-
Pee is fairly sterile at least. If you had really wanted to give him some revenge you could have rubbed some raw chicken juices on his toothbrush.
-Not that I'd know anything about revenge and how best to exact it with precision.
@Home, /grapedrinkbaby / Miss Thang
HAHAHA...I agree!!!
But I just sat back down to the piss and shit convo. Now that's a tad bit yellow turd. I've gotten "bowled" over but I don't think I've been that gone to want the golden showers and nuggets before. I'm just sayin....yikes and somebody would be getting their pieces punched out. DAYUM.
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http://www.myspace.com/oxygen162
Damn, Home, I think I may have had 1 or 2 episodes that bad.. It was more like I always felt really guilty about what I was doing and thought for sure a cop would suddenly bust up in my place and arrest me. I just always felt like I was gonna get caught. Sometimes me & my friends go to the club and you smell weed. I think how the fuck do u have balls that big?? If i was high in the club I'd swear everyone was looking at me and knew exactly what i was doing.
I am just too much. - Joan Crawford
Submitted by Home on Fri, 01/30/2009 - 1:23am.
GrapeD, lets not get to hasty in our judgements. Wasn't it you who divorced your wife because she was a N****r lover? Fo shame, man. Fo shame!
"Facials" annoy me too. Semen is plain NASTAY tasting, smelling and texture-wize (slimeeeeeeeeeeee).
Iffin' a man wants to jizz on a woman's face and hair then I say a woman should be able to sit on a man's face while she's chunky period raggin'.
I've never met ONE woman that liked the taste of male jizz, nor have I met ONE man that wants to go down on a woman during 'that time'.
Gross. I feel icky and I wrote that myself.
++++
No need to feel dirty for writing that...you were just keeping it real...and yes, i did divorce my wife for that particular reason...it's been a pretty big adjustment, so lately, i just spend my time on this here internets so nobody sees my face especially when i go to my favorite white brotherhood sites...WITE POWUR!!!
i peed on The Dickhead Ex's toothbrush the last time i saw him. i drank the biggest fucking bottle of water i could and peed on his brand new toothbrush!
MWAHAHAAHAHAAHAAAHAA!!!!!! fuck that fuck. he's lucky i didn't set him and the whore he cheated on me with [and subsequently married. 2 years later. on the day we broke up 2 years before. yeah.] on fucking FIRE!!!!! i just fucking got all up in her fat assed Man Shouldered face on Father's Day then the next day i showed up to get the last of my shit.
then i pissed all over his toofbrush. and wiped my hands on his towels.
then i washed my hands and gave the cat a last snuggle before i told him off good.
motherfucker. i'm still drinkin' the Haterade on his ass almost 3 years later. ugh.
oh, and i fucking hate Fall Out Boy. WTF. they are the lamest band ever. i should pee on their toofbrushes.
and in other awesome TMI news, i gotta go buy fucking pads cause i'm still surfing the crimson wave. i just got paid. goddamnit.
OH MY CHRIST NO!!! HAHHAHAHAH
i said to pretend you're peeing in the LAKE!!!
(didn't i?)
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
It's got the body of a spider, and the mind of a baby.
GrapeD,
I hope "GrapeD, lets not get to hasty in our judgements. Wasn't it you who divorced your wife because she was a N****r lover? Fo shame, man. Fo shame!" You didn't take that seriously. That was from an episode of "The Dave C. Show"...I figured you'd get that right away. :)
Miss Thang, Pot gave me the worst panic attacks EVER. Forget the munchies, it's the feeling like you're having a heart attack and can't breathe that made me quit the green. lol
you guys feel free to smoke wat ya got...i can't smoke it...not a law i'm willing to break...i'm a small white girl...would not fare well in jail...i have been known to enjoy myself some beer colas on occasion
Oxygen,
I'm jealous of u.. I wish i could still smoke. there came a point where i would always get super paranoid EVERY TIME i touched that shit :( So, I just get fucked up by drinking now.. yea that's the solution right?
I am just too much. - Joan Crawford
GrapeD, lets not get to hasty in our judgements. Wasn't it you who divorced your wife because she was a N****r lover? Fo shame, man. Fo shame!
"Facials" annoy me too. Semen is plain NASTAY tasting, smelling and texture-wize (slimeeeeeeeeeeee).
Iffin' a man wants to jizz on a woman's face and hair then I say a woman should be able to sit on a man's face while she's chunky period raggin'.
I've never met ONE woman that liked the taste of male jizz, nor have I met ONE man that wants to go down on a woman during 'that time'.
Gross. I feel icky and I wrote that myself.
Home: french fries in cool whip...DAMN!!!
that sounds yucky tasting...don't get me wrong...i love them both dearly just not together
it's peanut butter and jelly...r.c. cola and moonpies...no fries and cool whip, WTF?
Jesus, Oxygen, always remember to have something decent already prepared BEFORE u partake in the herb of the gods
I am just too much. - Joan Crawford
Submitted by Oxygen on Fri, 01/30/2009 - 1:13am.
Is there a pychiatrist in the house?!?!?!?
++++
I wish...sounds like we need one for TITS stat!
Submitted by Home on Fri, 01/30/2009 - 1:13am.
GrapeD, Tits is whack. Abort mission! Abort mission! lol
Seriously though, anyone who even ponders the idea of wanting to be peed on or defecated on for that matter needs some serious self-esteem help.
++++
we need to have a serious heart to heart with TITS about this pee and feces fetish...she's obviously in a large amount of denial...i think i'm detecting some shame becuz she couldn't face our questions
intervention time, my friends
Submitted by Oxygen on Fri, 01/30/2009 - 1:13am.
Ohhhhhhhhh. Mad munchie concoctions are borne of pure evil.
Repent, Oxy! Repent!
Ever had cool whip on fresh donuts?
Repent!
Ever had french fries dipped in cool whip?
REPENT, I SAY!
GrapeD, Tits is whack. Abort mission! Abort mission! lol
Seriously though, anyone who even ponders the idea of wanting to be peed on or defecated on for that matter needs some serious self-esteem help.
I might have to put away the "bowl" now. It makes me do things that I normally would not do. Such as...go thru my fridge and cupboards and create some shit that cannot be found in ANY recipe book. I just baked a potatoe...added butter...salt & pepper...AND THEN busted out with crushed jalepeno chips...and BOLOGNA...that I cut into strips to perfectly fit the cut that I made into the potatoe. All of which took me about a good 30 minutes to do because of THE BOWL.
Is there a pychiatrist in the house?!?!?!?
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http://www.myspace.com/oxygen162
Submitted by Home on Fri, 01/30/2009 - 1:10am.
GrapeD, don't got pissin' on the mista. lol
I can't believe I just had to write that even.
+++
I'm kind of glad that you felt you had to...i feel much better about you as a person now
Now ain't that something, somebody tellin you to pee on a loved one, then running off without a decent explanation
maybe TITS likes to be pee'd on while she' sleeping...it'd be quite a wake up call in the morning...i guess if you're a hard sleeper, it may do the trick
GrapeD, don't go pissin' on the mista. lol
I can't believe I just had to write that even.
Submitted by Miss Thang on Fri, 01/30/2009 - 1:05am.
WTF is going on in here? Pissing on ppl is not cute
+++++
i agree with you...TITS just instructed me to go pee on mr. grape????? and he's asleep...i'm trying to get her to explain why but she's not getting back
WTF is going on in here? Pissing on ppl is not cute
I am just too much. - Joan Crawford
TITS:
he fell asleep already on the couch...
u still want me to pee on him?
that seems kind of rude
TITs: u want me to pee on him?
you want me to pee on him?
who needs siblings!
Submitted by grapedrinkbaby on Fri, 01/30/2009 - 12:36am.
just pretend you're peeing in the lake.
but not too hard, and don't close your eyes.
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
It's got the body of a spider, and the mind of a baby.
Submitted by Sandbitch on Fri, 01/30/2009 - 12:34am.
I kinda wish I knew what it was like to have one's siblings drive one crazy...
*
you've got us.
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
It's got the body of a spider, and the mind of a baby.
I was locked in a box until I was 17...
hehe
TITS and Tiger:
Damn, mr grape is got me watching this high-filutin' show on the science channel on lakes...boooring...give me some Skanks of Love Bus please for the love of God...i'd even watch the Tiny Tool being extra mean episoed again...gotta devise a plan to sneak out without inviting him to the back room to interfere with trash watching...i especially want to avoid him trying to get frisky with me...the show on lakes is a definite turn off