Jessica Simpson Needs To Stop
Okay, Jessica Simpson is totally doing this on purpose. Why would she continue to wear shit that makes her look like she was cut from the same back fat roll as Beth Chapman? The right to wear rubber (or whatever the hell that is) leggings should be approved by a court of law. Papa Joe is probably behind this. He stuffed her sausage thighs into that shit, because he knew she would need help getting out of them. He's going to cut them off with his razor tongue. Ugh.
I feel like she's dressing this way because she hoped the tabloids would play the knocked up card, but instead everyone is throwing the "U SO FAT" shit at her. Homegirl even performed barefoot to give the tabloids an easy cover: BAREFOOT & PREGNANT. I don't think she's knocked up. I just think it's famewhore bloat.
Here's more of Jessica wearing a truly unfortunate outfit while performing in Virginia last night.
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Ummmmm, are Asslee or Papa Joe on this board? If not, I'm very puzzled as to why people feel the need to call other posters on this board of snark rude names?
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"I'm intellectual & stuff." "You're flunking English. That's your mother tongue & stuff."
Submitted by April on Fri, 01/30/2009 - 2:48pm.
I can't fucking get over the number of sheep on this message board who will agree with anything MK says. Size 8 is NOWHERE near fat, you goddamn bunch of fucktards!
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I don't know what size she really is, but on a really short person, size 8 may be overweight. I'm 5 foot 7 and a size 10 and I'm in need of losing some weight, so a size 8 at 5 foot 2 may not be good.
But I wouldn't call her fat--she doesn't look it to me. The problem is she's short and stocky like Britney, so any kind of weight gain is going to show.
The only people who can look good on those leggins are people who are size 0 or 2. Jessica has a great body but her style is so bad. Choose things that compliment your body and not make you look chunky.
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"I'm ginna drezz mah baby in all bran namez 'n' if I can't afford it, I guess I'm ginna still it!" or "If mah baby losez its pacifier, I have three mo'!"
Now were just picking on the poor girl. That outfit she wore at the chili cookoff was horrendous to say the least, but this dosnt look bad at all. Yeah, shes bigger but at least this outfit isnt horribly unflattering to her like the othe one was...
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I let people draw on me!
I ditched my friends and let them find their own way home!
Submitted by veronique on Fri, 01/30/2009 - 2:17pm.
Listen - bitch is dumber than fuck, so her only job is to be hot. I personally think she is hot and had a body like her for years - it served me and a multitude of others well. What she needs to watch for is when she gets married and knocked up and her ass explodes like mine did. Then it takes a zillion fucking years to fix that shit and it is NEVER like it was.
Obviously my diet is doing wonders for my attitude.
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LOL!!
The only thing more offensive than those leggings is her singing voice.
THINGS TELL ME YOU AND ME CAN BE FUCKING REALLY GOOD GODDAMN FRIENDS.
I can't fucking get over the number of sheep on this message board who will agree with anything MK says. Size 8 is NOWHERE near fat, you goddamn bunch of fucktards!
You can tell she has on Spanx.
Submitted by M.E. on Fri, 01/30/2009 - 1:01pm.
"FYI - gigantic tits aren't only the result of pregnancy. Big tittied women, a lot of them, when they gain weight, it goes to their tits first."
This is all too true. I'm one of those big tittied women M.E. mentioned. I had a breast reduction 15 years ago, going from a DD to a C-cup. Tragically I've since chunked up and am now a D-cup.
I've got a similar awful, top-heavy build like J. Simpson, but fortunately for me I'm 5'9 and not famous. Being a big tittied chunkster kinda works for me. I don't think J. Simpson is anywhere near fat but she sure as hell doesn't have the talent to pull off a weight gain. Her career was based on her looks. Gaining weight is a deal breaker for women in H'wood.
Maybe she really is pregnant.
I don't care what she wears so long as she keeps her mouth firmly closed in public.
She's has one the most annoying voices ... second only to her evil twin, Wonky McValtrex.
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My avatar is my 27-pound Maine Coon furkid named Mozart. Lying next to him is a standard-sized cat.
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She needs to wear clothing that will compliment her body. Not make her look big.
I would've never thought she had any problem before she wore those pants.
She's not fat.
Submitted by M.E. on Fri, 01/30/2009 - 2:22pm.
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LOL! I din't recognize you there for a second.
But really, let's just eat her and be done with it.
♥ ThreadKilla!
Happy Birthday, DLISTED!!!
I take a couple uppers, I down a couple downers
But nothing compares to these blue and yellow Purple Pills!
She looks fine! The reason she's getting picked on is the same reason a lion picks the slowest gazelle when hunting. Her insecurity is flashing in a big red neon sign every time she adds a belt (or cumberbund???) to an outfit that needs no such thing. People see she's not comfortable in her own skin and they blast her. Easy prey.
♥ ThreadKilla!
Happy Birthday, DLISTED!!!
I take a couple uppers, I down a couple downers
But nothing compares to these blue and yellow Purple Pills!
Submitted by angel_i on Fri, 01/30/2009 - 2:13pm.
She's fat!
She's not fat!
She's fat!
She's not fat!
She's fat AND stupid!
Ok, she's stupid but she's not fat!
She IS fat!
NO she's not!
Fuck. Are we done yet?
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Oh shit hot bitch that just made me fucking laugh, snort and fart all at once!
size 8 is small period.
She looks good! She's not my fav person but looks good, and she didn't start the whole sex object thing, also, who is to say that she's not a sex object at this weight??????? You say that she bought into the make me a sex object thing, but that doesn't mean she doesn't still consider herself one. That's some of you guys saying she is too fat to be one, not her. I don't care for women that are famous just because of their bodies but just because she gained weight doesn't mean she isn't still famous for her body.
Listen - bitch is dumber than fuck, so her only job is to be hot. I personally think she is hot and had a body like her for years - it served me and a multitude of others well. What she needs to watch for is when she gets married and knocked up and her ass explodes like mine did. Then it takes a zillion fucking years to fix that shit and it is NEVER like it was.
Obviously my diet is doing wonders for my attitude.
What's with the one toe sticking out of her shoe?
She's fat!
She's not fat!
She's fat!
She's not fat!
She's fat AND stupid!
Ok, she's stupid but she's not fat!
She IS fat!
NO she's not!
Fuck. Are we done yet?
♥ ThreadKilla!
Happy Birthday, DLISTED!!!
I take a couple uppers, I down a couple downers
But nothing compares to these blue and yellow Purple Pills!
OK, i never shy away from calling a hippo a hippo but WTF?! Compared to Piggy Clarkson or Kim Kardioassian she's gaunt! She is still several buckets of mac-n-cheese away from e.g. Beyonce.
Come ON!!.. she is so much hotter with the extra funness.. chest and ass have exploded with Joy!.. I like her this way MUCH better.. before she was just another stick with a mouth
It's a sad, sad day when the only thing you can do to get attention is eat and/or date random men. Oh, and bitch is fat! A size 8 is fat.
To say that I can't stand this woman is truly an understatement.
However, I will say that she is not fat. Not even close. In REAL life, men would kill for a chick with great legs, huge tits and a little bit to love on the waist. And that's exactly what this girl is.
Anyone who calls her fat, is clearly insecure and envious.
Rosie, on the other hand....THAT'S fat.
gross dude
bitch can't sing or act or do anything relevant
go away you fat talentedless cow!
If I wanted to see pictures of porkers MK I'd go to the local liquor mart and pick up a cello-wrapped three pack of the Big Booties of the Girls of KFC.
the DUDE! abides...
not quite fat yet,but I do recommend the two finger diet!
i repeat, i don't think jess is fat...but she needs to fire her stylist...seriously, pleather that's wrinkly around the knees is a no...
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we've all had our fair share of cock...it's nothing to shout about...
point taken maybe I'll do all the above.
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"We do not gnaw on our kitties"
Dr. Evil
She took her shoes off ...hmmmm that's her Brit shaves her head micro moment. Baby steps.
Sorry for double post -- our power's been out, & I think there are residual issues.
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"I'm intellectual & stuff." "You're flunking English. That's your mother tongue & stuff."
I agree that she's not fat. BUT I also agree w/ the poster who said she's not a singer, but a "sex symbol." She was a singer when she 1st burst onto the scene. Then she decided to do that stupid, breathy little voice, & capitalize on her blonde ditzy-ness. This is what happens when you make such choices. I guess she & Papa Joe should've thought a little farther into the future than the next paycheck.
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"I'm intellectual & stuff." "You're flunking English. That's your mother tongue & stuff."
why didn't you post what she said during the concert? i think she is sweet and has a good voice. she is working, doing her best unlike some other starlets (lindsay) who do nothing, but i bet teens love lindsay cos she is skinny.
here is what she said:
"Please remember, no matter what you go through in life, somebody else might have it harder. So just appreciate. I feel like in our world today we focus on so many things that are completely pointless."
Submitted by M.E. on Fri, 01/30/2009 - 1:01pm.
FYI - gigantic tits aren't only the result of pregnancy. Big tittied women, a lot of them, when they gain weight, it goes to their tits first.
I can attest to this personally. That's why my hubby wants me to stay a little on the "big" side. LOL
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WHY WON'T YOU LET ME BE GREAT!!!
Silvarva,
Don't take it personally my STFU was directed at the media, not my fellow sluts. Go smoke a bowl or have a shot or meditate or whatever. Chill.
*****
My brains tell me he's a douche,
but my genitals tell me he's a hot piece.
KD
LMAO!!!
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You got your problems, I got my hash pipe
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ba_NNKyUwEE
"Bench sucking is only for after midnight. Dumb blue motherfucker!" MK 12.30.08
Submitted by Charles Manson on Fri, 01/30/2009 - 1:23pm.
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Thank you for that...I have always felt that guys think confidence is sexy. Once I was with a guy I really liked, and he wanted to leave the lights on during sex. Well, I was a few pounds over what I wanted to be, but I decided to hell with it and didn't worry about the extra weight. He told me later it was one of the best times we had because I was so unself-conscious.
I think Jessica's problem is...she has no talent and she dresses poorly for her body type. Plus, could it be...no self confidence?
WHAT'D YOU SAY? I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER HER THUNDERTHIGHS!
I dont thinks she's fat. I dont even hate her outfit THAT much. Its the hair that godawful Miss Piggy mop.
She shouldve worn it straight or pulled it back or something. She's still riding on that I'm-the-new-Farrah delusional train.
Straight from the Mansons' mouth!
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"We do not gnaw on our kitties"
Dr. Evil
I don't give a rat's ass about her weight, what bothers me is that trashy outfit. Both Beyonce and Shakira wore similar ones (right down to the skin-tight pleather leggings) to perform at THE INAUGURATION. I couldn't believe my eyes and just thought it was straight-up embarrassing and tasteless. I mean, yes they both suck as musicians and that's the organizers faults for having them perform, but I mean, have some dignity. The U.S. has some of the trashiest dressing women in the world... just no taste and crass and it drives me crazy.
Oh Lord, can we let this go? I am not a fan of hers but Jebus H, we can't all be a size fucking 2!
I find it a bit ironic that we tell Lindsay Lohan and other stupid girls with eating disorders to shove a sandwich in their pie holes, but when Jessica does, she's fat. Can't have it both ways, folks. The girl is southern, first off, and they likes to eat (and yes, I said "they likes". Get over it). Also, she's in love. You know she and Tony Romo don't sit home and wonder what to make for dinner--- THEY GO OUT! It's called "dating" folks. Some of you should try it.
Anyway, lay off Jessica. Let's attack Kanye for being a tool instead.
shes not fat, but shes def a little bigger than usual. shes prob about what she said, a size 8. of course its her outfits that really make her look bigger. seriously. i think tho that the reaction to her weight gain is ABSOLUTELY ridiculous. a normal woman (not a celebrity) would never be criticized for being fat at a size 8. its a perfectly healthy, normal size. the fact that she is being ridiculed for this is completely atrocious and just shows how delusional the world is. if women are too thin, they get accused of eating disorders and get called a bad role model. but as soon as someone gains just a little bit of weight, there is this horrendous backlash calling them fat, disgusting, etc. its really alarming.
Submitted by missy on Fri, 01/30/2009 - 1:01pm.
shes not fat, she just sucks
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LOL. Yup
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You got your problems, I got my hash pipe
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ba_NNKyUwEE
"Bench sucking is only for after midnight. Dumb blue motherfucker!" MK 12.30.08
Submitted by Silvara0428 on Fri, 01/30/2009 - 1:04pm.
kred on Fri, 01/30/2009 - 12:44pm.
Fight the good fight!!! You rock!
If we (females) change our perception of beauty, men will willingly come along. Sadly, we do this to ourselves.
Any men in the house...am I wrong when I say we are way too hard on ourselves?
YES YOU ARE TOO FUCKING GODDAMN HARD ON YOURSELVES. I CAN FUCKING TELL YOU WITHOUT A GODDAMN DOUBT FROM YEARS OF EXPERIENCE IF A CUTE LOOKING FUKING GAL COMES WALKING IN THE GODDAMN STUPID ROOM WITH A LITTLE EXTRA CHUNK BUT A LOT OF CONFIDENCE AND A GREAT FUCKING PERSONALITY THOSE PLAYBOY LOOKING CHICKS WILL BE FUCKING IGNORNED. A GUYS USUALLY ONLY MEMORIZED BY CHICKS LIKE THAT FOR A SHORT FUCKING PERIOD OF TIME. IF YOU CAN WALK INTO A GODDAMN ROOM FEELING BEAUTIFUL AND LAUGHING A GENINUE YOU WILL BE BEAUTIFUL. CHICKS ALL UPTIGHT ABOUT HOW THEY FUCKING GODDAMN LOOK AND FLINGING THEIR FUCKING HAIR AROUND AND LOOK LIKE THEY ARE ALWAYS FUCKING GODDAMN TRYING TO STRICK A POSE IS A MAJOR TURNOFF. UNLESS YOU ARE A VERY FUCKING SHALLOW PRICK.
dutchmodernist on Fri, 01/30/2009 - 1:15pm.
*****
Um, here at the the d-listed we all have opinions and sometimes they are the same and sometimes they are different. I may have agreed with yours but I don't agree with your telling me to STFU or STFD,
but whatever carry on with your initials...
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"We do not gnaw on our kitties"
Dr. Evil
Is it just me or does she look like Blair Warner when she ballooned up? She really needs to stop with all of the fake hair too. It looks ridiculous. Fatass.
Submitted by Kp on Fri, 01/30/2009 - 1:19pm.
hahaha. Funny, y'all.
viridian- as far as "Texas whores" go, we dont want her either! Well, I gotta go smoke the brisket and round up the cattle before the Ki-yotes make their rounds! Yeehaw!