Genius?
When I wake up in the morning, I'd love to roll over and find a hot sausage to suck the grease out of. If that's not an option then this bacon alarm clock might be the next best thing. Instead of almost having a coronary from that annoying BEEP BEEP, this alarm clock will wake you with the savory scent of cooked bacon. It was designed by Matty Sallin, Daniel Bartolini and Hsiao-huh Hsu. All you have to do is put a slice of bacon in the clock the night before. It will begin cooking 10-minutes before you're supposed to get up.
I don't know if this is a dream invention or not. Most mornings, I'll give up one of my dog's kidneys (do they have those?) for a slice of bacon. But there are mornings when the last thing I need to smell is a piece of greasy pig. Will this alarm clock also carry me to the toilet and stroke my hair as I barf up the previous night's booze. That's what the smell of bacon does to me while I'm hungover.
You know, on second thought, I'd rather they invent an alarm clock that gently tickles your taint to wake you up and then hands you a fresh cup of Emergen-C.
(Thanks Julie)



Submitted by TITS on Thu, 02/05/2009 - 12:23am.
You'd buy meat from k market? HOICK! the smell alone!
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WTF? Those Butchers are the cleanest in town, dude. Obviously, you were too afraid to go inside...understandable. But you could eat off the floors in those three places - they wouldn't let you, of course, cuz that's not clean!
♥ ThreadKilla!
Well, you know - I heard it through the Grapevine:)
That's not what this is. Every time a decent person comes in you set out to prove they have brain damage. House MD
Submitted by TITS on Thu, 02/05/2009 - 12:16am.
I know, try pancetta, italian bacon. Just as yummy but in smaller quantities.
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Mrs. K. squeezed my ass. I can die happy.
You'd buy meat from k market? HOICK! the smell alone!
my eyes are watering at the 15 year old memory!
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
It's got the body of a spider, and the mind of a baby.
@TITS:
Kensington Market, Babay! 1.99/lb :)
♥ ThreadKilla!
Well, you know - I heard it through the Grapevine:)
That's not what this is. Every time a decent person comes in you set out to prove they have brain damage. House MD
If it was a slice of peameal bacon, I'd be all over it.
ps have you SEEN the price of bacon lately? had a hankering for a blt the other day and OMFG the price was like $8 for a HALF pack of strip bacon.
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
It's got the body of a spider, and the mind of a baby.
Submitted by TITS on Wed, 02/04/2009 - 11:53pm.
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Wed, 02/04/2009 - 10:58pm.
Oh puhlease! Canada has had these for years. We call them Coleman Stoves.
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Ha! For reals. I kept passing this picture thinking: Bacon. Whatever. Sadly, Canada is not cumming. We came prematurely. We JIZZED in our PANTS!;p
♥ ThreadKilla!
Well, you know - I heard it through the Grapevine:)
That's not what this is. Every time a decent person comes in you set out to prove they have brain damage. House MD
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Wed, 02/04/2009 - 10:58pm.
Oh puhlease! Canada has had these for years. We call them Coleman Stoves.
:D
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
It's got the body of a spider, and the mind of a baby.
Canada just came.
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"Get some wrinkles on yo fo'head, bitch!! - Slutty
I love waking up to the smell of smoked meat.
www.tvraisedme.com
First thing I thought of when I read this...
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Submitted by Dingleberries d... on Wed, 02/04/2009 - 4:04pm.
Don't know if it's been mentioned or not, but Michael roasted his foot trying to do this on the office. He wanted to wake to the smell of bacon and stepped on his George Foreman!
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If Dracula can't see his reflection in a mirror, how come his hair is always so neatly combed?
Michael, I love you. The way you word things makes my shriveled and blackened heart throb with joy. You are the funniest fucker I ever saw. Will you be my wife?
Don't know if it's been mentioned or not, but Michael roasted his foot trying to do this on the office. He wanted to wake to the smell of bacon and stepped on his George Foreman!
Submitted by ImpertinentVixen on Wed, 02/04/2009 - 2:27pm
I was going to ask the same. That's sick if it doesn't.
Bzzzz! Bzzz! Bzzz! Bzzzzz! Ah, one day closer to death!
~~~<3~~~<3~~~<3~~~<3~~~<3~~~<3~~~<3~~~<3~~~<3~~~
The Early Bird gets the worm but the Second Mouse gets the cheese.
FIRST SENTENCE OF DESCRIPTION:
"When I wake up in the morning, I'd love to roll over and find a hot sausage to suck the grease out of"
I'm just saying...I don't think this clock is what you're looking for...your needs sound....different.
-tina
Submitted by ImpertinentVixen on Wed, 02/04/2009 - 2:27pm.
I'm sure it's been asked, but: This has a refrigerated compartment, right? Otherwise, erk.
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I was just thinking the exact same thing. I've eaten bacon that's been out too long. No amount of convenience can make up for the pain, sweat and tears of your bum circle later that same day.
I have died and gone to heaven....
I'm sure it's been asked, but: This has a refrigerated compartment, right? Otherwise, erk.
♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀
Chicago area 5K race 2009: http://rallyforautism.com/
I... I must have this. I don't care if it costs $5 million. I must have it. Every day. OGOD. BACON.
Even if I liked bacon as much as MK, I'd wouldn't sleep well knowing I'm having an automated cooking appliance with heated grease next to my head while sleeping.
Plus, there are simply too many ways a fucked up situation while being half awake after it's done cooking.
Cooking bacon in a box of wood. Genius indeed.
HAHAHA! I love it!
TCD
I own a leather wrapped radio/alarm clock from the 1950's with a built in cigarette lighter.
You push down on the top of the lighter to shut off the alarm, ensuring no waiting for the first fag of the day.
An alarm clock that cooks you bacon, what will they think of next?
"The master's tools will never dismantle the master's house." Audre Lorde
the fuck? it only cooks ONE piece?! that's just a tease...
Submitted by madam s. on Wed, 02/04/2009 - 12:11pm.
It looks like it was built in shop class.
hahahahah that's what i was thinking, LOL
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"why is there a dead Pakistani on my couch"!?!
Submitted by will.i.am on Wed, 02/04/2009 - 1:12pm.
That would however make rimming much more palatable.
*whispers* sorry sluts.
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Mrs. K. squeezed my ass. I can die happy.
Ahhahaha mike.
Fuck sake, we'll be wiping our asses with bacon next week.
can u buy this at sharper image or brookstone? i like, i like
Callan, that is EXACTLY what came to mind when I saw this post!
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"F*ck you Tyra Banks, Oprah, Magic Johnson, Tiger Woods, Rockefeller. F*ck you." - La Pequena Hillary Clinton, 6/17/08
*hmmmm:bacon!!!!*
I want one.
This is totally taken from the plot of this one Office episode from a few years back, where Michael accidentally grills his foot on a George Foreman grill because he wants to wake up to the smell of bacon in the morning.
E.A.P. there is that one taco bell commercial I think that insinuates that, I've never heard of it for real though.
Submitted by Stock Broker on Wed, 02/04/2009 - 12:38pm.
I'd hate to clean the grease trap in that box.
So said Rosie O'Donnell's ex-gf.
Submitted by Molotov Cocktease on Wed, 02/04/2009 - 12:34pm.
Do they have a category for retarded and morally questionable inventions?
They must: past winners include Jimmy Carter and Al Gore.
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The Cure: “A Forest”
I guess they think the Office Episode where Michael wants to wake up to the sound of bacon crackling was as funny as I found it to be.
They totally stole this idea from Doc in Back to the Future III !!!!
I'd hate to clean the grease trap in that box.
I've heard or read (can't remember) that the smell of bacon makes men do sexytimes. Has anyone heard that?
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Chemo is not sexy
It'd have to do more than just cook the bacon to get me excited enough to get up when the alarm goes off.
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Well I like Colin. I'd let him jizz on my tattas anyday. - UKer.
C.E.C.
Oh lordy! You have not lived until you have had chocolate covered tater chips!!! nom nom nommmmeh!
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k6C_HjWr3Nk
ROTFL Sheeps!
(¯`'•.¸(¯`'•.¸♥¸.•'´¯)¸.•'´¯)
2007~It was a truly magical time in Shitneyland.
"jim is our Dollar Store version of commingback." -christine the hoff 12/04/2008
ha ha Sheeps! Do they have a category for retarded and morally questionable inventions?
wouldnt that be heaven and food poisening??LOL but tempting
;\=__=/o
http://nobelprize.org/nomination/
Ass roaches! Ha!
Submitted by parissucksliterally on Wed, 02/04/2009 - 12:21pm.
Chocolate covered bacon? Really??? That actually made me gag a little. When I was in the Minneapolis airport I saw chocolate covered potato chips. Gag.
I like chocolate. I like chips. Sometimes I like bacon. But none of these things should ever mix.
Barf.
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Please, you are making a German spectacle of yourself!
What a great invention...for a lazy asstard who wants to set the f*cking house on fire. Not to mention, it's just disgusting and great for our ever increasing waists.
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If Hsiao-huh Hsu is a first generation American, Lord help his parents...