The Perfect T-Shirt To Wear While Looking For Dick!
Don't these people look so happy? They are smiling and cheery-like. Well, you know they are straight-up weeping inside, or at least their genitals are. That's because they are part of the Passion for Chris Movement ,which I guess, involves wearing a t-shirt denouncing your love for conquering your clit or buttering your corn.
If the Ex-Masturbator t-shirt isn't for you, they have many others to choose from like Ex-Fornicator (NEVER!), Ex-Homosexual (ILLEGAL!), Ex-Diva (A Diva is another for a hustler) and Ex-Slave (?). Ex-Slave? Damn! Is there an Ex-Dom t-shirt to go with that? Those Christians are freakier than I thought. Beating each other in between bible study and shit. See a therapist after you finish lying to yourself.
In Michael K talk "Ex-Masturbator" and "Ex-Fornicator" translate into: "Current Fucking Liar!" Who can just stop masturbating? Once you start, there's no going back. That's where your hands always belong if they're not on another dick of snatch! Jacking it is one of the first lifelong skills you learn. It's the only skill you need really. You can do it anywhere, anytime. In fact, most of us are probably doing it right now. You can even do it with a friend. It brings people together and God loves that. Wait. Maybe that's what they mean? Maybe they mean they are masturbating their exes? That would make sense.
I went to order a few of these, but for some reason they didn't have the option to order without the "EX" part. I was looking for one that said "Homosexual," "Fornicator" or "Masturbator."
And I really love crazy Christians, because without them, we wouldn't have fucked up shit like that.
VIA Gawker
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rofl!
indeed they are.
"And I really love crazy Christians, because without them, we wouldn't have fucked up shit like that."
No indeed, we wouldn't. They ARE creative, however. I'll give 'em that, God bless 'em.
Pardon me....I must go conquer my clit.
Love it. I'm using that one.
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BIGGEST COMPLIMENT EVER:
"skybitch, you are one of most disgusting posters here ever. period."
people would actually BUY and wear shit like that? omg.
in the united states alone, between 3 and 4 million cats and dogs are euthanized each year for lack of homes to adopt them. YOU can help stop this.. spay or neuter your pet. please don't breed or buy while homeless animals die! support animal shelters<3
I don`t like to wear like this, it looks silly
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Has anyone noticed that home piece is throwing up the shocker sign?????
I would believe they were ex-masturbators if they had the term "ex-wanker" emblazoned on their t-shirts. If they gave up the self-love..call it what it is!!
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That lil' lint bastid will be back within the hour snorting your Borax with a rolled up dollar bill. Trust....TigerLilly 10.24.2008
BLASPHEMOUS!!!!! No one is an "Ex-masturbator"!!! Maybe an EXcellent Masturbator, EXpert Masturbator, EXtravagent Masturbator maybe even an X-Men Masturbator. But NEVER and Ex-Masturbator.....BLASPHEMY.....
Funnily enough, the word god means dildo in French.
ps love how the 'Ex-homosexual' on the website looks like a gayelle stereotype.
I guess this doesn't have anything to do with these two fuckers being former fishing buddies that stood around a tub of dead fish and well..he got busy.......
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That lil' lint bastid will be back within the hour snorting your Borax with a rolled up dollar bill. Trust....TigerLilly 10.24.2008
Submitted by Emeriesan on Thu, 02/05/2009 - 9:12pm.
Ex-Masturbator? Maybe these people regularly masturbate their exes?
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Hot!
♥ ThreadKilla!
Well, you know - I heard it through the Grapevine:)
That's not what this is. Every time a decent person comes in you set out to prove they have brain damage. House MD
Do they make a T-shirt that says EX-CHRISTIAN?
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Make one. What are arts & craft stores for?
I use to be a die hard christian. Even went with the "No touching your whisker biscuits" theme. The problem with that is that when you repress your disires during the day, they all come out during REM sleep. And the shit I was dreaming about would make Heather Hunter or Vanessa Del Rio blush.
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I'm a bilingual illiterate...I can't read in 2 languages. - Pet Shop Boys
Submitted by Stock Broker on Thu, 02/05/2009 - 9:35am.
Do they sell an "Ex-Employee" tshirt?
I will be wearing that t-shirt in a couple of months, unfortunately.
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I'm a bilingual illiterate...I can't read in 2 languages. - Pet Shop Boys
Someone i know recently gave a friend a t-shirt that says "I'm a virgin" and the small print reads "but this is a very old t-shirt".
Likewise, i guess these could be customised.
Submitted by Charles Manson on Thu, 02/05/2009 - 9:19am.
MABEL I CAN FUCKING GIVE YOU SOME GODDAMN LESSONS
May I watch?
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I'm a bilingual illiterate...I can't read in 2 languages. - Pet Shop Boys
Ex-Masturbator? Maybe these people regularly masturbate their exes?
Submitted by ISprainedMyUvula on Thu, 02/05/2009 - 8:59am.
I'm going to have a shirt made for a counter-movement called "I Love Fiddling With My Whisker Biscuits".
*squeals with laughter*
Whisker Biscuits! I love it.
How about a shirt that says "I love fidding with my front butt?"
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I'm a bilingual illiterate...I can't read in 2 languages. - Pet Shop Boys
Whoa, I was just thinking about masturbating right now. I believe I will.
You know it's weird, I used to be crazy religious when I was like fourteen, and everytime I masturbated I felt guilty. But eventually I became desensitized to the guilt, and I started to think more logically about every aspect of Christianity, if masturbation being a sin is bullshit, then maybe so is not watching "mad about you" because of the suggestive dialogue. (Trust me, if you're a crazy christian looking for it, it's there).
Masturbation is the reason I am no longer a Mormon.
Submitted by NanciElizabeth on Thu, 02/05/2009 - 1:43pm.
Whoa! I have a white trucker cap that says in huge, red cursive script "JESUS CHRIST." I like to wear it when I am driving around in a road rage, screaming obscenities at people and bellowing shit like, "WANNA BUY SOME CRACK?!" It's fun!
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LOL! In a van with FREE CANDY written on the side...?
♥ ThreadKilla!
Well, you know - I heard it through the Grapevine:)
That's not what this is. Every time a decent person comes in you set out to prove they have brain damage. House MD
I just found a 'Lord of the Cock Rings' teeshirt that was promised to someone about 3 years ago. Wonder who it was..
Submitted by LOVE ANDERSON on Thu, 02/05/2009 - 8:02pm.
How do they Reeeeally KNOW if someone has stopped masturbating????
Does the hair on their palms stop growing?
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Smell their hands...if you dare~
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Message T-shirts are annoying.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
went to order a few of these, but for some reason they didn't have the option to order without the "EX" part. I was looking for one that said "Homosexual," "Fornicator" or "Masturbator." (MK)
LMAO...
I can't believe they're wearing these shirts.
How do they Reeeeally KNOW if someone has stopped masturbating????
Does the hair on their palms stop growing?
.
.
.
made you look at your palms.....haha
"Going gray is like ejaculating. You know it can happen prematurely, but when it actually does, it's a total shock." MAH BOO!!!
VOTE 4 MK http://2009.bloggies.com/
Where I live the wages of sin are anywhere from $20 to $100 tops.
Submitted by hollagirl on Thu, 02/05/2009 - 7:52pm.
"For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord."
- Bible (Romans 6:23)
What do yall think?
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Did you write that yourself? That sounds like it could be in a book, like the Bible or something..
"For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord."
- Bible (Romans 6:23)
What do yall think?
What's up with that one guy on the website wearing an "Ex Hustler" t-shirt? Does that not mean former male prostitute? Why the hell would you want to let the world know you used to be rent boy?!
The sad thing is that they are going to make a fortune. If evangelical kids can be brainwashed into buying that shit that passes for Christian "music," they can be brainwashed into buying this.
Like this is going to get the right kind of attention. What jizz-for-brains came up with this stupid idea? (If they weren't just scheming to make fun of whatever idiots wore them in sincerity)
AGH. This reminds me of a stupid twit in one of my classes who kept saying, "Oh my dude!" It's so annoying when people come up with dumb replacement words for "dirty" ones.
Hot slut said: I believe the Ex-Slave means they are no longer a slave to sin.
Are you kidding me? I'd rather be a slave to sin than a slave to some Christianist moron preachers who tell me not to masturbate.
MK, you can make your own!
They have iron-on t-shirt transfers that you can put into your computer's printer just like regular typing paper. You can get them at any office product store.
Just don't forget to flip the image/text horizontally or the finished product will be backwards.
I am the Queen of Crafts!
Here's a nice alternative....
http://www.cafepress.com/xchristian
Here's a nice alternative....
http://www.cafepress.com/xchristian
those shirts are awesome. I have to have them!
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"This is why I beat hookers" - Tig from Sons of Anarchy
If you get one of these shirts it makes you a hypocrite. So why are they selling Ex-Hypocrite shirts?
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http://hesterprinesworld.blogspot.com/
A place for book lovers and free thinkers.
I believe the Ex-Slave means they are no longer a slave to sin.
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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? ...All of it.
It actually means that they masturbate an ex (boyfriend, girlfriend, what have you).
Never gonna stop...masturbating rocks my world and other things as well.
xoxoxoxox
Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
http://www.myspace.com/bondagebarbiedoll
TEAM MASTURBATION
I say we all buy one and then hit up the gay clubs in our towns to see how often we can get hit on.
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Did somebody say PCP? I LOOOVES THE PEACEY P!!
Incitatus, you just made my day with the Lego Bible link! So funny....
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"Dude, quit harshing my mellow!"
what the?.....*rolling eyes*
"you best 'handle' your business!
Buy the "ex-masturbator" shirt, bleach a few stains into the bottom of the shirt, then add "fell off the wagon" on the back!
I'm wondering why you stood me up and let me down-Kylie Minogue
Passion for Chris? Who the hell is Chris?
I prefer the lego bible: http://www.thebricktestament.com/
Here's the story of Onan (the anti-masturbation story): http://www.thebricktestament.com/genesis/er_and_onan/gn38_01.html
Gotta love lego sperm! (and lego sex)
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Pluto had it coming.
Whoa! I have a white trucker cap that says in huge, red cursive script "JESUS CHRIST." I like to wear it when I am driving around in a road rage, screaming obscenities at people and bellowing shit like, "WANNA BUY SOME CRACK?!" It's fun!
Dude, I so want to buy an "Ex-Slave" one and wear it around work. I wonder how that would work out.
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Making Al Pastor Burritos for M.E.
P.S.: Fuck you, Sarah Palin:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=yFdijgMytUA
Submitted by paris herpes on Thu, 02/05/2009 - 1:11pm.
DeeDee, is there an Ex-Pothead one, I would LOVE that one. I'd get so much shit over here for wearing it though. Everyone I know is a freakin' pothead
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If there is, I'm so buying one! I hope it comes in green. And WTF? Ex-Rebel? That ain't right! Everyone should be a rebel!
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I'm about to commit some crime on a bitch! ~Molotov Cocktease
Where can I get one that says "Pro Masturbator"???