Monday, February 9th 2009

A "Deadly Weapon" Was Involved (UPDATE: That's A Lie)

Chris Brown allegedly hit RiRi with some kind of "deadly weapon" so says TMZ. The crime report names Princess RiRi of the Universe as the victim and also states that the incident was "assault with a deadly weapon." Chris' weapon of choice is not known yet.

Every bitch that sent this story to me said the exact same fucking thing in their e-mail: "Chris hit Rihanna with an umbrella-ella-ella." You smart-ass bitches! An injured Princess RiRi is no laughing matter. Although, it was raining in L.A..... Naw. It was probably a dick slapping gone wrong. Okay, we need to stop!

But seriously, it wasn't not funny. RadarOnline says RiRi was even crying in the emergency room at Cedars-Sinai. A nosy witness said, "Rihanna was clearly very upset by what had happened and I could hear her screaming. Rihanna was trying to get her point across about something, she sounded like she was crying as she tried to get to put her point across."

Jay-Z and RiRi's alien subjects need to take care of this shit! But something tells me they really shouldn't bother since Chris is pretty much fucked already.

UPDATE: Now TMZ is saying that Chris didn't use any kind of weapon. There was an umbrella in the car but it had nothing to do with this shit. It's innocent. Sometimes a bitch's fist or foot can count as a deadly weapon. A source also said that RiRi had bite marks and bruises on her body.

Posted by: Michael K


Manimal5's picture

Maybe she said bite me and he did.

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gyeah's picture

PLEASE! the Magic 8-Ball knows ALL

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"us"

EveryStrangersEyes's picture

Submitted by Sheeps on Tue, 02/10/2009 - 1:45am.

oh, like you know what you're talking about... get the lederhosen back on, you aren't makin' any tips givin' legal strategies!

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"We play the game,
with the bravery of being out of range."

Cleopatra2U's picture

Goodnight!

Cleopatra2U's picture

Cheating... STDs... Like I said, just rumors... Speculation... Not like {insert celebrity name} leaving their spouse {insert another name} to shack up with {another}... Not like seeing a Valtrex Rx with Paris Hilton's name on the label. Just trying to figure what could trigger CB to go all crazy on RiRi instead of, say, asking her to get out of the car and leaving her standing on the side of the road.

Sounds like a lot of rumors flying around. Who would know who had herpes and from whom? (I know that's a lot of pronouns but they fit.) Using my Magic 8-Ball (shaddup), I say he pleads no contest to a misdemeanor and gets off with a fine, probation, and community service. Can I go home now?

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ATTORNEY: All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral.

gyeah's picture

Submitted by Khensu Hetep on Tue, 02/10/2009 - 1:40am.
I feel horrible for laughing at this, but someone said "Well, at least RiRi could put Cover Girl to good use".
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That's coooold.

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"us"

Kp's picture

You know, I cant say honestly that I wouldnt hit a guy who gave me herpes from cheating on me.

I know its wrong, but damn, thats all types of fucked up shit.

Come on, ya'll, commence the jigglin!

Khensu Hetep's picture

I feel horrible for laughing at this, but someone said "Well, at least RiRi could put Cover Girl to good use".

I just about exploded with laughter and felt extremely guilty afterward.

That being said, RiRi's annoying, but I hope she wisens up and leaves his ass.

cheetahstripes's picture

Rumor has it RiRi had a fling with JayZ while he was with Beyonce (before they married)? Wasn't she his protege? Maybe she, uh, caught something from him.

Condi the ingrown toenail's picture

Why are this man and this woman living up to a stereotype? Don't they have any self-respect at all? This is sickening.

gyeah's picture

She didn't give him the clap, or the herps.

SHE GAVE HIM THE GASFACE

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rdmwmxhHmlg

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"us"

Cleopatra2U's picture

Submitted by TT99 on Mon, 02/09/2009 - 2:54pm.
Just because she gave him herpes doesn't give him the right to hit her.

- - -

Agreed.

What I've been gathering from the gossip sites (and that's all this is is GOSSIP, I don't know these ppl, I don't know what's really up) is that Rihanna has been the jealous one who follows Chris to video shoots etc. to make sure he doesn't fool around, and yet she is the one who fooled around and caught the herp, and that her confessing this to him could be what led to the beatdown. Even as gossip, this makes sense. There is NO excuse -- NONE -- but this could be an explanation, not just for why Chris did what he did, but why Rihanna is allegedly not intending to press charges.

Zappy's picture

Men who do that shit think of women as their possessions. He's an asshole and it probably won't even fuck up his career.

z-listed's picture

How come these gangstas can't stop hitting their women even after they have money, fame, etc? Is it in the DNA?

jussayin's picture

Submitted by Hairicane on Mon, 02/09/2009 - 1:13pm.
Submitted by lizardo911 on Mon, 02/09/2009 - 1:11pm.
Oh, and then there was Halle Barry and her slugga boyfriend...what happened to him/that?

...you mean Wesley Snipes?

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puppy side eye.

gucci's picture

on another spread related to the rhi and chris incident there was someone named texas tart saying rhianna deserved whatever she got. I THINK THAT PERSON WAS EITHER BEYONCE OR SOLANAGE. IF I'M RIGHT, FUCK BOTH OF THEM BECAUSE ITS BEEN RUMORED SEVERAL TIMES THAT JZ BEATS BEYONCE TO!

__________________
"Do i look like a man with a plan"?

the joker. the dark knight.

Umbrella's picture

Xenu better let my alien princess pull through!

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“Why is it good to die for one’s country? Isn’t it better to live in New York?”
- Bar Refaeli

So much for the doublemint commercial being suspended. I am shocked and appalled at what showed up on my TV screen just now. Has anyone else seen the commercial today?

What a dick!

gyeah's picture

Submitted by Inflatuated on Mon, 02/09/2009 - 6:36pm.

Read that here:
http://mediatakeout.com/index.html

that site is ghetto but they got the 411
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"us"

Inflatuated's picture

Submitted by gyeah on Mon, 02/09/2009 - 3:50pm.

Now she doesn't want to press charges or cooperate with inveztagatorz

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Really?

Well in Los Angeles the domestic violence laws have changed and even if she recants the Popo can proceed with charges even without her assistance.

It's a good thing the laws have changed. Too many victims were intimidated into withdrawing their complaint by the very abusers they feared.

I want to live only till I die, no more and no less - Eddie Izzard

Bondagebarbie's picture

Bite marks?This guy is high up on my celeb shit list now...yuck.

xoxoxoxox
Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.

i am now going to take my lazy self to work out!
Talk to guys later!

putas's picture

Submitted by Team Valtrex on Mon, 02/09/2009 - 3:49pm.

She heard his "music" and her ears pressed assault charges

AMEN!! Damn he is terrible!

it's nice to know that good people have your back when other people do stuff to hurt others, because they can't, or won't control their behavior

my support goes out to anyone who feels terrorized, violated, and abused by an individual who does not care about the rights of others

thank goodness for the people that stand up for others who don't have to tools to do it themselves

Hooray for unsung heroes!

i see, i see, said the blind man! heehee

Has anyone noticed that Covergirl has stepped up the RiRi commercials since yesterday?

gyeah's picture

Submitted by TheBreakdown on Mon, 02/09/2009 - 4:00pm.
Beyonce should have paid a bit more and she'd be through with her doppelgaenger!
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Oh snap.
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"us"

TheBreakdown's picture

Beyonce should have paid a bit more and she'd be through with her doppelgaenger!

But B is as cheap as her House of Derriere weaves!

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The line between sex and society is so fine and blurred... even Amy Winehouse wouldn't snort it.

http://www.myspace.com/triston

Suki's picture

Submitted by JennyBoom on Mon, 02/09/2009 - 3:32pm.
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Well said! Thanks!

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"This is straight up fuckery."
His Holiness MK, 9/03/08

gyeah's picture

That's so wrong but i'm schenfrauandefradalin' it in my head.
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"us"

Team Valtrex's picture

If it was Chris Martin assaulting Gwyneth Paltrow, I would just file that under justifiable.

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"Get some wrinkles on yo fo'head, bitch!! - Slutty

gyeah's picture

Now she doesn't want to press charges or cooperate with inveztagatorz
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"us"

Submitted by Team Valtrex on Mon, 02/09/2009 - 3:49pm.
She heard his "music" and her ears pressed assault charges.

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Hahahaha!

Submitted by parissucksliterally on Mon, 02/09/2009 - 3:46pm.
Wrigley's just suspended his Doublemint Commercial. GOOD.

Abuse is not liking smoking pot at a party......CB should pay for this.

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Good!
Next up, jail time!

Team Valtrex's picture

She heard his "music" and her ears pressed assault charges.

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"Get some wrinkles on yo fo'head, bitch!! - Slutty

parissucksliterally's picture

Wrigley's just suspended his Doublemint Commercial. GOOD.

Abuse is not liking smoking pot at a party......CB should pay for this.

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The waiting drove me mad... you're finally here and I'm a mess
I take your entrance back... can't let you roam inside my head
-Pearl Jam "Corduroy"

QueenCharisma's picture

Submitted by cookiepuss on Mon, 02/09/2009 - 3:38pm.
____________________________________________

Thank you, that's what I was trying to say. R&B isn't hip hop and even so called thug rappers don't go upside their women's heads in public or their careers would be over. Beating women does not make you "cool" even in that crowd.

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Veronica, why are you pulling my dick? - Heather Duke

FBD, Matt Duke
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dz0jypyHgTc

I bet it was rough foreplay got wrong. Chris Brown is one hot piece & RiRi is a food for letting a little beating get in the way.

cookiepuss's picture

MJF, I think you're wrong about that. I think you have a misconception of what qualifies as "street cred". Beating up on your girlfriend doesn't serve up street cred. R&B singers don't generally look for street cred (which is an even more played out term than "bling" so thanks for making me use it again and again) to boost sales. Think John Legend, Ne-Yo, Usher, Boyz II Men. These are R&B singers. None of these performers could be described as TOUGH. You're way off.

I have no idea what you think R&B is about, but there is a difference between R&B and hip hop and even within Hip Hop there are different sub-genres. Even Hip Hop is not ALL gangstah. Simply put, R&B has nothing to do with violence or toughness or street ANYTHING. It is, in fact, very different.

Hell, even if R&B and Hip Hop were the same and all Black people looked alike, please name one performer who has thrived after the revelation that he beat his girlfriend (or wife)? I've been trying, but I can't come up with even one. No...

Chris Brown is fucked.

That is all.

angel_i's picture

Submitted by Sheeps on Mon, 02/09/2009 - 3:29pm.

In criminal justice, a deadly weapon can be almost anything. It could be a book, say, or a bottle. If you were a martial artist, it could be a foot.
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Yeap. Someone said earlier that he was a martial artist.

♥ ThreadKilla!
Well, you know - I heard it through the Grapevine:)
That's not what this is. Every time a decent person comes in you set out to prove they have brain damage. House MD

JennyBoom's picture

I apologize for the typo's...

I was a little upset with that comment..

I prefer "Labia Lickin' Lady" over his obnoxious shouts of "Hot LEZZZZZBIAN Love!"

parissucksliterally's picture

JennyBoom, thank you. I was speechless after that retarded attempt at a comment.

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The waiting drove me mad... you're finally here and I'm a mess
I take your entrance back... can't let you roam inside my head
-Pearl Jam "Corduroy"

JennyBoom's picture

Submitted by TWarr00 on Mon, 02/09/2009 - 3:00pm.
Im happy Chris did beat da crap outta her... she gave him a std n she knew dat she had it so i salute chris....if i were chris i would have done more den dat...im standing behind chris all da way
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Wow TWarr00

That some "ignant shit right thurr"...

I tried counting to 10, but my dear, it's painly obvious, that you are ghetto trash..

Translation: I'm thinking that I should cake my backhand with some baby powder and put the pimphand down strong on your ass...

Speak english.

Go back to the webisite that linked to here (Tell Fresh we don't like immature, ignorant, hood rat idiots)...

Go away. Seriously.

It's people like you, little fangirls that are spreading hearsay, trash, and innuendo.

Go fix your lacefront.

I prefer "Labia Lickin' Lady" over his obnoxious shouts of "Hot LEZZZZZBIAN Love!"

Lory's picture

If he beat her for giving him the herp, then he is dumber than I thought. He should have used a condom or better yet, he should have known this kind of shit happens when YOU FUCKING FUCK A HOLLYWOOD BITCH AND KEPT IT IN HIS MOTHERFUCKING PANTS! Besides, there have been strong rumours about him beating her ass several times in different occasions, so I wonder what STDs she gave him those other times.

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Let me dirty up your mind.

In criminal justice, a deadly weapon can be almost anything. It could be a book, say, or a bottle. If you were a martial artist, it could be a foot. Etc. Plus, what they charge him with now can easily be amended as the case progresses.

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J'espère que vous n'avez pas la p'lotte à terre?

Freak Speely's picture

"Submitted by parissucksliterally on Mon, 02/09/2009 - 2:55pm.
Submitted by TT99 on Mon, 02/09/2009 - 2:54pm.

Just because she gave him herpes doesn't give him the right to hit her.
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right? I'd only allow a pass to the guy who'd beat the crap out of Paris. In fact, I'd salute him."

Damn, I'd ask him if I could shake the hand that bitchslapped Paris Hilton.

-.-
The internet, where the men are real men,
the women are real men, and the children are the FBI.

Suki's picture

Submitted by TWarr00 on Mon, 02/09/2009 - 3:00pm.
Im happy Chris did beat da crap outta her... she gave him a std n she knew dat she had it so i salute chris....if i were chris i would have done more den dat...im standing behind chris all da way

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Of course you would; ghetto trash that can't spell or speak English properly always sticks together.

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"This is straight up fuckery."
His Holiness MK, 9/03/08

Id have to agree with kdracofan, what a stupid thing to say.....
and I also agree that Chris Brown is FUCKED!!!
what an idiot