Tuesday, February 10th 2009
Open Post: Hosted By Duck With A Dick
If you've ever played with your rubber ducky while laying in the bathtub and thought to yourself, "This would be so much better if it had a dick." Well, then please get some psychiatric help. If the crazy doctor declares you a lost cause, then I guess it's okay for you to make your sick dreams come true by buying this Duck with a Dick. It's made of 100% FUCKERY. I've seen it all!
And don't even think of getting me this sucio shit for International Dumb Whore Day (aka my birthday). Well, unless it comes in hot pink. Blue doesn't go with my no-no. I need to stop. Not everything is better with a dick on it. No, I didn't just type that last sentence. Maybe I'm the one who needs psychiatric help.
VIA Buzzfeed
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oh, my god.....
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A false eyelash should be like a secret abortion: discrete, so as not to attract Christian rage. - Ziggy S
Submitted by soul on Tue, 02/10/2009 - 1:36pm.
A fan of LFN here?? I'm happy to see that. :-D
Submitted by NonnyMouse on Tue, 02/10/2009 - 11:52pm.
Ewww, that is just weird.
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www.myspace.com/lazeechile
Duck penises (penes?) don't even look like that. A duck penis is skinny, long, and corkscrew-shaped.
Ducks are also nasty. See the academic paper "Homosexual necrophilia in the mallard duck".
Any regulars here tonight? Just watched Octopussy's Dateline interview and she said she didn't get any plastic surgery on her face..lol!
HAVE SOME DUMBASS WATER. - Charles Manson!
lizardbits1,
LOL! That is my Eddie! I swear he is going to run the world one day!!!
My avies are either Christian or Eddie. Sometimes I change it up...
http://wetmen.provocateuse.com/show/james_purefoy/03
Carrot!!
Not THAT burrito!! Silly girl! Wait...I could go for a burrito too.......mmmmm...melty cheeeeze!
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"That's one bastard of a god if he's up there.
And why doesn't he ever shave?"
I'm totally broke but I'm going on vacation next month. I've never been this fiscally irresponsible, but I just need a break.
Just wanted to confess my evil ways.
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www.myspace.com/lazeechile
That's really...ew.
I know I'm beating a dead horse, but I don't know whether I'm more disturbed that it's a duck or that it looks like a children's toy, like one of those prizes you get with a happy meal.
+
Ooh, woopdefuck, check you out telling society to fuck itself with pseudo-controversial photo shoots and interviews, while still whoring it up to keep your skank reputation intact! OMFG! You're a real artist now!
Mmmm, burrito.
I could go for a burrito right now, full of cheese and beef chunks and cheese and maybe some lettuce and cheese and beef.
Clarisse: Dude, I had my boyfriend help me hold him down and this little 10 pound kitty totally got the better of both of us. Only my thighs of thunder get the job done!
Sadness about the fur... write it off for now and see if he's a repeat offender? Perhaps he hunted it down and skinned it to survive in the wild during the deep deep winter and is now wearing it just to show how much of a man he is?
In other news: I keep my eyes open for your ass just to see your avies... I lurvs them. I'm here more often than I post, but I really enjoy your posts. *blushes*
Crap...Westminster on...cannot....OH MY MASTIFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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"That's one bastard of a god if he's up there.
And why doesn't he ever shave?"
lizardbits1,
Really? I have never met the cat or bunny that could get out of my burrito! It is all in the wrap! Towel on the lap, animal on the back, one front foot wrap, next front foot wrap, repeat with back feet...
As far as the fur on ABL, it looked real...
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"That's one bastard of a god if he's up there.
And why doesn't he ever shave?"
Submitted by Clarisse on Tue, 02/10/2009 - 10:10pm.
Tried it... he's too squirmy... so I press him against my thighs and just don't let him move. He hates it, but gets the job done.
And are you sure the fur was real? Any chance it was fake? Or ironic? I love ironic clothing. Brings lots of conversation and lets you dress like a douche for the purpose of "opening people's minds"
Submitted by lizardbits1 on Tue, 02/10/2009 - 10:14pm.
LTC: Wanna help me sit on my boy kitty to cut his claws? I mean literally sit on the little ass. He's all cute and snuggly until the bastard needs trimmed. The other one just stares at him.
But then there are the times where he cuddles next to me and puuuuuuuuurrrrrrs at me, like now... sweet thing. *kissy faces*
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I know you weren't askin' me, but I know I'd rather sit on the duck...just sayin'
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the end...
Submitted by jiggywiddit on Tue, 02/10/2009 - 10:13pm.
Blind Item.
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PORTIA DE ROSSI!
So close, and yet, so far...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/africa/7880832.stm
Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on Tue, 02/10/2009 - 10:08pm.
Submitted by lizardbits1 on Tue, 02/10/2009 - 10:08pm.
LTC: Wanna help me sit on my boy kitty to cut his claws?
Sure! I'll stick the duck in his ass while you clip his nails. Guarantee that'll keep him preoccupied.
.............
Blind Item.
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does the drunk tank have a closing time or something?--Team Valtrex
STUPID FUCKING FREE INTERNET!!! Grump. Can't anybody decent let me pirate their wireless without my having to act a fool here? Shit.
lizardbits1,
Baby girl, time for the kitty burrito!
Biz'nitches!!! I am torn. I lurve me some Bob Harper, but I think the blonde cunt wore fur on tonight's epi...I cannot support that fuckery!!!!!
Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
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"That's one bastard of a god if he's up there.
And why doesn't he ever shave?"
Submitted by lizardbits1 on Tue, 02/10/2009 - 10:08pm.
LTC: Wanna help me sit on my boy kitty to cut his claws? I mean literally sit on the little ass. He's all cute and snuggly until the bastard needs trimmed. The other one just stares at him.
But then there are the times where he cuddles next to me and puuuuuuuuurrrrrrs at me, like now... sweet thing. *kissy faces*
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Sure! I'll stick the duck in his ass while you clip his nails. Guarantee that'll keep him preoccupied.
LTC: Wanna help me sit on my boy kitty to cut his claws? I mean literally sit on the little ass. He's all cute and snuggly until the bastard needs trimmed. The other one just stares at him.
But then there are the times where he cuddles next to me and puuuuuuuuurrrrrrs at me, like now... sweet thing. *kissy faces*
Submitted by lizardbits1 on Tue, 02/10/2009 - 10:01pm.
LTC: LOL! I shouldn't own cats after giggling so much at that...
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Yes you should! You should also put peanut butter on their paws every now and then.
LTC: LOL! I shouldn't own cats after giggling so much at that...
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Submitted by lizardbits1 on Tue, 02/10/2009 - 9:55pm.
LTC: Couldn't bring myself to do it... just too weird. But I probably could if I had a Ducky with a Dick just to see a fucking duck sticking out of my cat.
FYI: a week after my cat went into heat, I got it fixed. I'm not nearly as cruel as I seem to be.
However, with that said, it would be funny seeing a ducky stuck to my cat.
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And the cat turning in circles trying to bite it... hee hee hee hee....
LTC: Couldn't bring myself to do it... just too weird. But I probably could if I had a Ducky with a Dick just to see a fucking duck sticking out of my cat.
FYI: a week after my cat went into heat, I got it fixed. I'm not nearly as cruel as I seem to be.
However, with that said, it would be funny seeing a ducky stuck to my cat.
Or poke them with a Q-Tip...
LTC: no, don't think so... unless you have a horny kitty around... fuckers don't shut up until you either get them knocked up or rip their uterises out.
You're not supposed to actually USE this are you?
Second page!? UGH! UUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGH!
Anywhore, can I just say that Family Guy fucking cracks me up...
where the douchebags come to party
and to spend their father's money
just to pick up slutty women
and wake up with a rash...
A la Frank Sinatra! LOL!
♥ ThreadKilla!
Well, you know - I heard it through the Grapevine:)
That's not what this is. Every time a decent person comes in you set out to prove they have brain damage. House MD
Yeah I'm home and used that neti pot. i feel about 50% times better.
"The master's tools will never dismantle the master's house." Audre Lorde
paris herpes - Yeah, the Cipro is still needed, but this shit numbs you up, so it's good to use before you get your cipro and for the first couple days till the cipro kicks in.
Stoney on Tue, 02/10/2009 - 4:15pm.
You bitches said it would get the black shit off my burner rims
..........
I used to line mine with foil.
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does the drunk tank have a closing time or something?--Team Valtrex
I never knew about that shit. I usually took cranberry pills or drank the juice until I got some Cipro.
"The master's tools will never dismantle the master's house." Audre Lorde
paris herpes, it's an over the counter UTI releif pill. It numbs the urinary tract so you don't feel the pain. But you still need to get yourself to the docs for meds. It is something to use till you can get there.
http://www.azoproducts.com/
What is AZO?
"The master's tools will never dismantle the master's house." Audre Lorde
I cannot sit her anymore my allergies and congestion are so fuckin bad right now!
"The master's tools will never dismantle the master's house." Audre Lorde
Submitted by Ms. Caligula on Tue, 02/10/2009 - 5:24pm.
Yeah. I've taken it before. But thanks for the reminder. :o)
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Just tryin' to be helpful & spread my infinite wisdom. :P
Zappy, I'm assuming the doctor is okay with making the patients wait 15-30 minutes. It's better than an hour huh?
"The master's tools will never dismantle the master's house." Audre Lorde
Submitted by Ms. Caligula on Tue, 02/10/2009 - 5:24pm.
Submitted by M.E. on Tue, 02/10/2009 - 5:18pm.
I'll down the AZO tonight and piss flourecent orange!! WEEEEEEE!
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Make sure you drink a glass of milk or something with that shit. Phenazopyridine will tear your stomach up! Or at least it does mine. And don't take any on the day you go see the doc. I'm told it will fuck up the urinalysis.
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Yeah. I've taken it before. But thanks for the reminder. :o)
ubmitted by paris herpes on Tue, 02/10/2009 - 5:24pm.
Zappy, that means you're late for most patients. Can you ask her not to schedule them so close together? I mean it's not hard to do that at all, plus you're meeting patients while you're supposed to be on lunch.
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She doesn't do it all the time. It's just that whatever I say, she will tell the doctor that I told her to do it and he went off on her one day..lol..he said 'who signs your paycheck Zappy or me?' It's not like she's a kid either. Usually we are on schedule it's just that I'm bitching today..lmao. I get patients in as quickly as I can. And we more often than not don't get very backed up. The 5 pm patient came in 15 minutes ago so we are sort of ahead of schedule..
Submitted by M.E. on Tue, 02/10/2009 - 5:18pm.
I'll down the AZO tonight and piss flourecent orange!! WEEEEEEE!
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Make sure you drink a glass of milk or something with that shit. Phenazopyridine will tear your stomach up! Or at least it does mine. And don't take any on the day you go see the doc. I'm told it will fuck up the urinalysis.
Zappy, that means you're late for most patients. Can you ask her not to schedule them so close together? I mean it's not hard to do that at all, plus you're meeting patients while you're supposed to be on lunch.
"The master's tools will never dismantle the master's house." Audre Lorde
Caligula, the shit is they do have pretty good benefits in comparison with elsewhere. How ironic!
"The master's tools will never dismantle the master's house." Audre Lorde
paris herpes - yeah. I have the barely there, think I'm getting one feeling. UGH! I'll down the AZO tonight and piss flourecent orange!! WEEEEEEE!
Oooh, it's THAT time of day again! The wolves are at the door! Actually, they're on the fone... It's a little game we play, the Bill Collectors and me. I'm having a little fun... I ain't payin nobody before I pay my rent & utilities and make sure the kid and the fur-kids are fed. Can't give 'em what I ain't got.
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"The little pink plus sign is so unholy."
A girlfriend of mine collects these ducks. She has a colletion of about 10 different ones in her bathroom. But not this one.
Must. Get. Duck-with-a-dick. For. Alyssa.
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"Edwina's insides were a rocky place where my seed could find no purchase. " -- H.I. McDunnough
Submitted by paris herpes on Tue, 02/10/2009 - 5:08pm.
Mrs. Caligula, that sounds crappy. Working for HUD can be like that. I've worked mostly social service/mental health type jobs and you need to be working for over 10 years to get any typr of raise.
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I worked there for slightly over 10 years, & that was enough for me. If it wasn't funding cuts, it was getting fucked over by management. The one good thing that job had going for it was the benefits, but in the end it just wasn't worth it.
If it is I would say drink a ton of cranberry juice.
"The master's tools will never dismantle the master's house." Audre Lorde