What Have They Done?!
Kellogg's not only hates stoners, but it also hates my childhood. It hates it so much that it destroyed it with this shit. THIS SHIT! I knew I shouldn't of trusted their asses when I found out they bought the Circus Animal Cookies recipe from Mother's and planned to put them out under the Keebler name. Those cunty Keebler Elves and Tony the Tiger are in cahoots to destroy my precious frosted creature friends.
They should have let Mother's beautiful cookies die a graceful and respectful death. That way I could always remember them happily dancing around under their purple and white circus tent with mother grinning at them. They were so happy. Now look at them! They've been molested and butchered.
They are sad, scared and, alone because of that giant purple gorilla hanging over them! It's ugly and menacing! Thank the sparkly frosting gods that I have like 40 bags left of the original shit. That makes it easy for me to give this fuckery the evil side-eye when I walk by it in the cook aisle. This is truly dark-sided.
(Thanks to Mary for the picture)
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These have been on shelves way before mothers bit the dust.
Keebler has been making this cookie for a while now. I love these sooo much better than the Animal Crackers that are frosted. IT MUST BE FULLY COVERED IN FROSTING!!! My hubby thinks he is doing good but always buys the wrong f*cking cookies.
I know you are upset mk, we all are-but it is "shouldn't have" not shouldn't of. Not trying to be annoying but that is my biggest pet peeve.
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That packaging is horrendous, but if they actually USE the Mother's recipe, then I'm fine. Keebler's fucked up recipe is so gross. The frosting leaves a nasty feeling/taste in your mouth and there are BARELY any sprinkles.
Yes these were a favorite munchies after the Mary Jane. :0)
OMG!!!1
my last post was poetry!!! pure poetry. Phoebe Price: eat your grammy-nominated heart out!
What? She wasn't nominated? THEN WHY WAS SHE THERE?!!! so confusing
The packaging may have changed...
BUT MY LOVE IS STILL THE SAME
I shall embrace these "animals" and their evil purple gorilla god. I shall embrace them, but I shall also cry.
Then I shall wrap them in bacon and cheese and deep fry.
Sincerely a slut,
Wanted
These cookies have been out since I was a kid, and I'm 23. They taste like a sugar coated unicorn came in your mouth...and his cum is vanilla icing flavored. On a totally unrelated note, I saw a kid in my Chem class with an "Ex-Fornicator" shirt on..it was great.
Hey, have you guys heard that this one appeared on the hot hook-up club " celebmingle com " for wealthy singles to hook up for Love and Sexy dating?
Agree that the keebler elves are cunts, but the world has been a much tastier place ever since tony the tiger first jacked off into a bowl of corn flakes
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Submitted by angel_i on Thu, 02/12/2009 - 10:44pm.
Submitted by jiggywiddit on Thu, 02/12/2009 - 10:39pm.
...and poor, unsuspecting MK got it up the no-no hole with the unicorn horn.
In despair, MK turned to the comfort of Mother's cookies to help sort out his anguish over seductively sugary icing, the promise of shortbread, and yet the deceptive plundering of vanilla.
*swigs more Nyquil*
I'm going to bed before this gets really ugly with Betty Crocker and Little Debbie.
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does the drunk tank have a closing time or something?--Team Valtrex
Submitted by jiggywiddit on Thu, 02/12/2009 - 10:39pm.
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Thu, 02/12/2009 - 9:51pm.
Submitted by angel_i on Thu, 02/12/2009 - 9:46pm.
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Thu, 02/12/2009 - 9:41pm.
Mr. Peebles gave MK bad touch when he was seven, and Magilla just stood there and watched.
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Those little elf bastards are in cahoots with Magilla and the Peebles pervo.
The elves lure you to "the tree of violation" with promises of chocolate-covered graham goodness, and then when your pants are down...
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O it's a whole story now...
BUT just as he was about to do the evil deed. Shauna, the good witch came riding in on her trusty unicorn, Rojo!...
♥ ThreadKilla!
Well, you know - I heard it through the Grapevine:)
That's not what this is. Every time a decent person comes in you set out to prove they have brain damage. House MD
sorry, MK... put 'em in any bag they want, i'll still chow on these in a drunken state
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"We play the game,
with the bravery of being out of range."
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Thu, 02/12/2009 - 9:51pm.
Submitted by angel_i on Thu, 02/12/2009 - 9:46pm.
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Thu, 02/12/2009 - 9:41pm.
Mr. Peebles gave MK bad touch when he was seven, and Magilla just stood there and watched.
***************
Those little elf bastards are in cahoots with Magilla and the Peebles pervo.
The elves lure you to "the tree of violation" with promises of chocolate-covered graham goodness, and then when your pants are down...
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does the drunk tank have a closing time or something?--Team Valtrex
@ grapedrink--
"...he played golf and majored in turf grass mgt..."
.........
Surely you jest. Turf grass mgt???
I took a handful of Nyquil Liquicaps--product placement!!--and am about to pass out.
I'll tell you the pervy dwarf story tomorrow if I'm coherent.
Love you guys. (I'm upset about the dead cat. Just can't address that right now, except to say I'm sorry. Kittehs are awesome.)
Nite!
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does the drunk tank have a closing time or something?--Team Valtrex
Submitted by angel_i on Thu, 02/12/2009 - 9:46pm.
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Thu, 02/12/2009 - 9:41pm.
Calm down, MK, they're still the same animals, the elves just bukkake on them when they're done raping them.
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I think they were bukkaked before, actually.
It's the gorilla. MK is afraid of purple gorillas...?
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Mr. Peebles gave MK bad touch when he was seven, and Magilla just stood there and watched.
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"Get some wrinkles on yo fo'head, bitch!! - Slutty
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Thu, 02/12/2009 - 9:41pm.
Calm down, MK, they're still the same animals, the elves just bukkake on them when they're done raping them.
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I think they were bukkaked before, actually.
It's the gorilla. MK is afraid of purple gorillas...?
♥ ThreadKilla!
Well, you know - I heard it through the Grapevine:)
That's not what this is. Every time a decent person comes in you set out to prove they have brain damage. House MD
Calm down, MK, they're still the same animals, the elves just bukkake on them when they're done raping them.
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"Get some wrinkles on yo fo'head, bitch!! - Slutty
I'm so sorry (((((((Home)))))))) You're so sweet. I'm sure he was so happy to have you as his mommy.
HAVE SOME DUMBASS WATER. - Charles Manson!
Submitted by Home on Thu, 02/12/2009 - 7:44pm.
__________________________________________
(((((hugs))))) Feel better, honey.
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"Veronica, why are you pulling my dick?" - Heather Duke
FBD, Matt Duke
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dz0jypyHgTc
Home,
my condolences on your loss. Losing a pet is difficult as they are such a pivotal part of a person's life. Just remember the love you had for him.
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Fashion is art that you wear - L.G.
If it makes you feel any better MK, they've raped Grape Ape too.
I don't get it, what are they even called? Animals Cookies Frosted. Frosted Animals Cookies. Yeah, nothing sounds right.
They don't just hate stoners - they hate everyone.
Be careful - I bought a bag from another company with a bag eerily similar and they were DESPICABLE. Mother's probably went out of business because they use better ingredients than the scumbag elves at Keebler. They tasted like they were made of cast sand - except sugary. Really gross. Like a cookie mix that didn't have any moisture added...
I'll give these a try - assuming I can find the other ones I bought - because I love those stupid cookies and regret not buying enough to keep Mother's afloat.
I'd be frightened to see what is found packing people's houses. Very.
Submitted by Home on Thu, 02/12/2009 - 7:44pm.
We all understand. Pets are more than just animals in the house. Go grieve so that you can heal. XOXO *big cyberhug*
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My avatar is my 27-pound Maine Coon furkid named Mozart. Lying next to him is a standard-sized cat.
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*Offers up some Good Humor Toasted Almond Ice Cream Bars*
HICCUP
Submitted by Home on Thu, 02/12/2009 - 7:44pm.
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Truly, I'm so sorry. I know how painful it is and there's nothing really I can say except - I am so, so sorry.
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"Tis he! I know him now: I shall jump over the Moon for Joy!"
@home lost my best friend milo who was an 18 year old tuxedo kitty more than two years ago...my heart aches for you... seriously, i still miss him, every day. hurts so much!
Frosted animal cookies...the crack cocaine of the snack isle.
~
Off topic:
Thank you Momus and Joe. I'm in too much grief and all of the snark has been socked out of me. We will get his ashes next week. He got so frail and couldn't hold anything down and his fur fell out but he was a trooper and lasted 14 years. I've been on crying jags. We lit a candle and put his pictures around it yesterday and honored him. He was there for a big chunk of our lives and with him...it's like an era died. I just wish he could have went with more dignity. He deserved that much at least but we bathed him and his fur was falling out and he kept throwing up and shitting and pissing on himself in the end. It was so upsetting and yet he was still alert and aware and loving and purring when we petted him. Oh god.
Gotta stop crying. I'm in no shape to post here. Sorry.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! :/
Submitted by Home on Thu, 02/12/2009 - 7:15pm.
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I'm so sorry to hear about your pet being put down. I lost my little dog just before Xmas and I miss her so much, every day.
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"Tis he! I know him now: I shall jump over the Moon for Joy!"
and yes this is true fuckery
xoxox
The war isn't working.
I feel your pain..this happened to me with bras
RIP mothers MK cookies. and fuck you keebler ..your shit always tasted shitty
xoxox
The war isn't working.
Submitted by Home on Thu, 02/12/2009 - 7:15pm.
Sincere condolences on the loss of your dear fur kid.
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My avatar is my 27-pound Maine Coon furkid named Mozart. Lying next to him is a standard-sized cat.
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If the Keebler elves are responsible for that horrible packaging, then may I say they need to fire their agent and enroll in design school.
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Fashion is art that you wear - L.G.
MK, if this is all you have to worry about then count your lucky stars. I have to admit the new packaging gives me a freaking headache. The Keebler elves are snorting something other than powdered sugar apparently.
~
R.I.P. Bubby. Euthanized 2/11/09. *cry* We will miss you, little, loveable doofus.
Grape- You silly purple fruit drink you, I thought it was funny how it went from cookies to well, hairy vibrators.
I am the last one to talk about keeping on topic. I never keep on topic. Not even on the open post!
@Girls (devil and island):
Per the Urban Dictionary:
cookies: a woman's wet vagina
^^^^^
See, the thread's still on topic ... somewhat.
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My avatar is my 27-pound Maine Coon furkid named Mozart. Lying next to him is a standard-sized cat.
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Grape- Was the author Danielle Steele? Just kidding, well maybe not.
Well I can tell you first hand about Art History majors being sluts and druggies ( oh wait, I am an Art History major... umm, never mind!) ; p
Devilgirl: you're right! i'm sorry guys...i got all wrapped up in my memories...I apologize!
Story time is for open post
Plus, Devilgirl, u're up!
although, i hear jiggy's got a pervy dwarf story that i'm wanting to hear
Submitted by devilgirl on Thu, 02/12/2009 - 6:51pm.
Wasn't this thread about cookies?
(I am not being the thread police, I am just tickled at how it went from cookies, to Viagra to hairy vibrators!)
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Hahaha--- *bursts into song* One of these things is not like the other.
Although, cookies could be slang for muffin, which in turn relates to Viagra, and... oh, never mind. :)
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Submitted by devilgirl on Thu, 02/12/2009 - 6:35pm.
Submitted by grapedrinkbaby on Thu, 02/12/2009 - 6:32pm.
GROSS. Hair stuck to the vibrator! Yuck. Imagine what went on in that you when you were gone!
+++
i didn't have to...i walked in on her once when we lived in the dorm together my sophomore year...she was uh, giving somebody the business...the second time we lived together was when i moved her in after she had a brief psych stay cuz he boyfriend had kicked her out...last time i spoke to her, she was meeting men on the internet that were flying her to have sex with them...some author in san fran and a rich, married, jewish guy in new york...also, heard she was on alot of blow...i hope she lived to tell the tale...she was funny and bright...one semester away from graduating in art history...left it behind to move to D.C. with some michael douglas looking dude who ran a telemarketing company
Wasn't this thread about cookies?
(I am not being the thread police, I am just tickled at how it went from cookies, to Viagra to hairy vibrators!)
Submitted by jiggywiddit on Thu, 02/12/2009 - 6:22pm.
Submitted by grapedrinkbaby on Thu, 02/12/2009 - 6:19pm.
Submitted by jiggywiddit on Thu, 02/12/2009 - 6:11pm.
Er, their sexual vigor is ebbing into the low tide of their lives, leaving them high,dry, and claw-footed...the pharmaceutical companies having drained their bank accounts.
+++
heehee
Submitted by tharuffian on Thu, 02/12/2009 - 6:36pm.
Been there, couldn't do it, gave up.
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My avatar is my 27-pound Maine Coon furkid named Mozart. Lying next to him is a standard-sized cat.
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Submitted by tharuffian on Thu, 02/12/2009 - 6:36pm.
back later ya'll, have to take the big fat siamese to go visit my daughter for a few days while i work out of town. {you try stuffing a 19 lb siamese in a cat carrier}
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Or stuff a 19 lb. cat carrier into a Siamese.
Bye...
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@Grape:
As truly genteel Southern (note the capital S) belle, have read "New Times In The Old South: Or Why Scarlett's in Therapy & Tara's Going Condo"?
I listened to the audiobook, read by Blair Brown, and could not stop laughing.
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My avatar is my 27-pound Maine Coon furkid named Mozart. Lying next to him is a standard-sized cat.
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