What Have They Done?!
Kellogg's not only hates stoners, but it also hates my childhood. It hates it so much that it destroyed it with this shit. THIS SHIT! I knew I shouldn't of trusted their asses when I found out they bought the Circus Animal Cookies recipe from Mother's and planned to put them out under the Keebler name. Those cunty Keebler Elves and Tony the Tiger are in cahoots to destroy my precious frosted creature friends.
They should have let Mother's beautiful cookies die a graceful and respectful death. That way I could always remember them happily dancing around under their purple and white circus tent with mother grinning at them. They were so happy. Now look at them! They've been molested and butchered.
They are sad, scared and, alone because of that giant purple gorilla hanging over them! It's ugly and menacing! Thank the sparkly frosting gods that I have like 40 bags left of the original shit. That makes it easy for me to give this fuckery the evil side-eye when I walk by it in the cook aisle. This is truly dark-sided.
(Thanks to Mary for the picture)
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back later ya'll, have to take the big fat siamese to go visit my daughter for a few days while i work out of town. {you try stuffing a 19 lb siamese in a cat carrier}
Submitted by grapedrinkbaby on Thu, 02/12/2009 - 6:32pm.
GROSS. Hair stuck to the vibrator! Yuck. Imagine what went on in that you when you were gone!
Submitted by Stock Broker on Thu, 02/12/2009 - 6:28pm.
Take deep breaths, have some animal cookies, and imagine him drowning in his crappy conditioners.
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My avatar is my 27-pound Maine Coon furkid named Mozart. Lying next to him is a standard-sized cat.
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@stocky: mind you, i'm a good, naive southern girl at this point...i didn't believe people actually had sex in high school...i swear it's true...yeah, i was cheerleader, honor society, student council, wore big bows in my hair, the whole deal...college years were eye-opening and let's just say a good southern girl has all ten fingers and ten toes to keep her closet door closed...well, my roommate violated this sacred tradition...the family clan and i lifted the mattress and it was a disaster...there was a black mask with eye holes and mouth holes, at least two vibrators, one was gold and kind of mashed into to the carpet with hair stuck to it, upscale porn mags like jugs, VHS tapes which we never watched, and used condoms...must have been 30 used condomns and 100 wrappers...
her boyfriend was such a little weasel...we called him Texas Tate cuz he was from Texas (no offense TX friends)...he drove a red BMW with red plastic snazzy covers on the wipers...would get drunk and chase her around...he played golf and majored in turf grass mgt...one night i had to chase him out of the apt with his own driver
*Waving to all hot ho's*
I'll be back later. A bratwurst is calling my name.
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does the drunk tank have a closing time or something?--Team Valtrex
Submitted by Momus the Sarcastic on Thu, 02/12/2009 - 6:26pm.
Submitted by jiggywiddit on Thu, 02/12/2009 - 6:24pm.
Submitted by Hysteria on Thu, 02/12/2009 - 6:21pm.
i'm still fundamentally opposed to gorillas
<<<<<<<<<<<<
I'm opposed to fundamentalist gorillas.
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LMAO. I'm opposed to gorilla fundamentalists ... and Christian werewolves.
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hahaaa! christian werewolves, LMAO! those too!
.
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Stupid Fuk Stik Elves!! These are the low rent, Basement Baby version of the childhood favorite! and Totally getting molested by a purple headed ape (Not that I would normally say no to that. ZING!)Its horrible Foster Parent molestation of these fine snacks. Taken from Mother given to a Molester!!
Estrogen a-poppin!
Momus ~ so that's the famous Sammy. WTF.
Now I'm REALLY hacked-off and on the verge of having a Bale explosion.
Submitted by jiggywiddit on Thu, 02/12/2009 - 6:24pm.
Submitted by Hysteria on Thu, 02/12/2009 - 6:21pm.
i'm still fundamentally opposed to gorillas
<<<<<<<<<<<<
I'm opposed to fundamentalist gorillas.
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LMAO. I'm opposed to gorilla fundamentalists ... and Christian werewolves.
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My avatar is my 27-pound Maine Coon furkid named Mozart. Lying next to him is a standard-sized cat.
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Submitted by tharuffian on Thu, 02/12/2009 - 6:24pm.
I bow deeply to your upfrontedness. :-)
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does the drunk tank have a closing time or something?--Team Valtrex
Submitted by Hysteria on Thu, 02/12/2009 - 6:21pm.
i'm still fundamentally opposed to gorillas
<<<<<<<<<<<<
I'm opposed to fundamentalist gorillas.
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does the drunk tank have a closing time or something?--Team Valtrex
ok jiggy, last week a ceo's 55 yr old wife had nipple clamps and lots of s&m toys, right in her closet1
i asked how shed like that box marked, she acted like she didnt hear me so i marked it .."NIPPLE CLAMPS AND BONDAGE"
some times i love my job.
WTF?? "AnimalS Cookies"???????? Why the extra "s", Helloggs???????
Grape & Stocky
As a woman, I can assure that a woman "in the mood" is NOT going to be in her own tub. She's gonna be in his!
BTW Stocky: I left a gift for you at the Billy-Vince thread.
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My avatar is my 27-pound Maine Coon furkid named Mozart. Lying next to him is a standard-sized cat.
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Submitted by grapedrinkbaby on Thu, 02/12/2009 - 6:19pm.
Submitted by jiggywiddit on Thu, 02/12/2009 - 6:11pm.
*startled at being called out*
Er, their sexual vigor is ebbing into the low tide of their lives, leaving them high,dry, and claw-footed...the pharmaceutical companies having drained their bank accounts.
I just made some shit up. But it moved me.
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does the drunk tank have a closing time or something?--Team Valtrex
Submitted by Momus the Sarcastic on Thu, 02/12/2009 - 6:15pm.
thanks for the link, momus! grape ape is cute. i'm still fundamentally opposed to gorillas
;D
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even worse the more religious they are the more extreme the porn or sex toys. i sure as hell am not touching their stuff, if they ignore me when i ask, i use their pillow cases to pick it up to throw in a box. :)
Submitted by grapedrinkbaby on Thu, 02/12/2009 - 6:17pm.
Submitted by tharuffian on Thu, 02/12/2009 -
i saw things under that bed that still haunt me to this day
...............
Ya'll are being Molotov Cockteasses. We want DETAILS.
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does the drunk tank have a closing time or something?--Team Valtrex
Submitted by jiggywiddit on Thu, 02/12/2009 - 6:11pm.
Submitted by grapedrinkbaby on Thu, 02/12/2009 - 6:08pm.
these cialis bathtubs
>>>>>>
It's a metaphor.
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i'm no english major (i'm sure it's evident from my writing) but metaphor? please help me, the meaning's lost on me
Grapedrink Babe ~ okay, I'll bite. What did you see under the bed?
Submitted by tharuffian on Thu, 02/12/2009 - 6:15pm.
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WHF? Maybe they kept it in the front hall closet because they couldn't wait until they got in the boudoir? I dunno--- as Jim Morrison said, people are strange.
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Submitted by tharuffian on Thu, 02/12/2009 - 6:09pm.
grape, i pack peoples households for a living, and if ive seen one bottle of viagra stashed ive seen 100.
actually youd not believe what ive seen packing houses.
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oh yes, do tell...i know when my college roommate (who later became an internet prositute) moved out of our apartment to go to D.C., i saw things under that bed that still haunt me to this day
Terrible thing is...her aunt and mother moved her out so we were all standing there in awkward silence...these people were good old country people too, the southern baptist kind...i don't they ever recovered
stocky, u know she's huffing that shit...it's like a toke room for huffers...i bet u catch her off camera and she's sucking the freon out of her neighbor's A/C unit in the backyard
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Grapedrink Baby...I bet she also suxs on muffler pipes for the cheap high.
And I'm with you on those Cialis commercials. LMAO!!
If I'm going to take a bath with a woman it sure as shit isn't out in public for the whole damn world to see.
@Hysteria:
Speaking of purple gorillas, here's a link to the Hanna-Barbera show, "The Grape Ape".
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GTyDwLcFfQ4
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My avatar is my 27-pound Maine Coon furkid named Mozart. Lying next to him is a standard-sized cat.
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IG: we make bets on whose the first to find the porn or the sex toys..the dildo in the front hall closet made me wonder a while..i like telling customers they have to take the batterys out for packing..some people have no shame, youd think they would put that shit up ..but noooo..then we also take pics off our phones and send them around,,my fav was the giant purple strap on for a army lt. col..it makes the job more intresting!
Submitted by tharuffian on Thu, 02/12/2009 -
actually youd not believe what ive seen packing houses
............
No blind items. I dated a bitch who worked for UPS and a pickled head once rolled out of a busted box. No one would admit to being the designated hazmat hor.
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does the drunk tank have a closing time or something?--Team Valtrex
or a polar bear or a koala! but a monstery looking gorilla? ffs at least make it cookie monster.
Submitted by grapedrinkbaby on Thu, 02/12/2009 - 6:08pm.
these cialis bathtubs
>>>>>>
It's a metaphor.
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does the drunk tank have a closing time or something?--Team Valtrex
Submitted by tharuffian on Thu, 02/12/2009 - 6:09pm.
grape, i pack peoples households for a living, and if ive seen one bottle of viagra stashed ive seen 100.
actually youd not believe what ive seen packing houses.
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I'm sorry, but you CANNOT make a statement like that and not elaborate.
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oh, and on topic. what the fuck with the purple gorilla?! kids don't like gorillas, i don't really care for them either!
gorillas are scarey! elephant woulda been better
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grape, i pack peoples households for a living, and if ive seen one bottle of viagra stashed ive seen 100.
actually youd not believe what ive seen packing houses.
these cialis bathtubs have no running water and bathtubs are effing heavy...do they expect for me to believe that Mamaw and Papaw Cantgetitup have carried these tubs to the ocean front to sit in naked?
ugh! that viva viagra song drives me insane! i don't even want to hear about that shit!!!
but, lmao, at teaching the little kid to sing it! hahahaa! that would be funny as hell!
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Ok, here's the one that really chaps my ass...
the cialis commercials...why in the hell are two people sitting in clawfoot bathtubs on a beach?
MK has the best approach to bratty kids:
"I would've busted out in the hallway and screamed, 'Shut the fuck up! Santa Claus doesn't exist. The tooth fairy is a crackhead. And Glenn Close boiled the Easter Bunny in Fatal Attraction. Now go cry about that shit in the bathroom so I can get some damn sleep!' Easy as that."
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My avatar is my 27-pound Maine Coon furkid named Mozart. Lying next to him is a standard-sized cat.
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yeah um, these have been around forever- i ate them as a kid, and i'm 25. they're not new. i prefer the 'iced' version, personally, and still buy them once in a while. (they're not totally coated in icing, just a glaze on one side)
jaysus jiggy, your family sounds like mine! to this day im terrified of clowns{including valtrex pic}
i dont think ive ever terrified a kid, mine still seem some what normal and mouthy, but they learned early not to be obnoxious , cus u never know what momma might do.
Submitted by tharuffian on Thu, 02/12/2009 - 5:58pm.
@ devilgirl : anytime one has to be involved with a child thats not your own that cant behave, sit on them for a half hour. actually it worked on mine also.
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I will keep that in mind. Usually kids behave with me, but this little bastard just came back from a week with his scumbag father, so that's why he is all riled up.
Wish I had the purple gorilla from the cookie bag to kee him in line!
Submitted by Stock Broker on Thu, 02/12/2009 - 5:48pm.
And, while were at it...WTF is up with those commercials with the lady in some clear box with a can of furniture cleaner?
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stocky, u know she's huffing that shit...it's like a toke room for huffers...i bet u catch her off camera and she's sucking the freon out of her neighbor's A/C unit in the backyard
And wait till i get on boner pill commericals...
I like the packaging its very colorful :p
I don't think I would try it though
There is more corruption in the first weeks of his office than the Rep had in eight years-anonymous
My mother just does not play.
(We have some chemical reliance going on over the holidays.)
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does the drunk tank have a closing time or something?--Team Valtrex
Submitted by tharuffian on Thu, 02/12/2009 -
i saw a 4 year old in the grocery store last week singing viva viagra , his mom kept trying to shut him up. was awesome.
<<<<<<<<<<<
This past fall at the farmer's market I overheard some guida say that her Uncle Pookie had named his latest kid "Cialis."
Maybe Pfizer will pay for that child's college education.
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does the drunk tank have a closing time or something?--Team Valtrex
Submitted by jiggywiddit on Thu, 02/12/2009 - 5:56pm.
Submitted by devilgirl on Thu, 02/12/2009 - 5:47pm.
Jiggy- With bendy straws!
Also I am home after a horrible day of watching my friends bastard child
(literally and figuratively bastard!). He is a little monster.
,,,,,,,,,,,
My mother got sick of one of her grandkids over Christmas, and told the child that Giggles the Invisible Clown lived under her bed and would come out that night and smother her with a pillow. I think this grandkid is 8. Did I mention it was fucking CHRISTMAS??
That said, it may be time for you to scoop the litterbox.
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I love your mother's approach! Fabulous!
Actually, it is litter scooping time of day!
@ devilgirl : anytime one has to be involved with a child thats not your own that cant behave, sit on them for a half hour. actually it worked on mine also.
Submitted by devilgirl on Thu, 02/12/2009 - 5:47pm.
Jiggy- With bendy straws!
Also I am home after a horrible day of watching my friends bastard child
(literally and figuratively bastard!). He is a little monster.
,,,,,,,,,,,
My mother got sick of one of her grandkids over Christmas, and told the child that Giggles the Invisible Clown lived under her bed and would come out that night and smother her with a pillow. I think this grandkid is 8. Did I mention it was fucking CHRISTMAS??
That said, it may be time for you to scoop the litterbox.
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does the drunk tank have a closing time or something?--Team Valtrex
ubmitted by tharuffian on Thu, 02/12/2009 - 5:54pm.
i saw a 4 year old in the grocery store last week singing viva viagra , his mom kept trying to shut him up. was awesome.
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Hahahaha!
I should've taught that to the kid I was watching today!
i saw a 4 year old in the grocery store last week singing viva viagra , his mom kept trying to shut him up. was awesome.
I can understand your pain. I felt the same way when fucking Kraft bought the fabulous Pasta-to-Go line and then proceeded to ruin it by changing the sauce. They bought the line and then killed it off. Tons of sadness here because it was wonderful having a semi-decent red sauce pasta dinner in about 3 minutes that I could eat right out of the tray. The minute I bought it under the Kraft name and tasted the difference I knew it was a goner.
I feel for you.
Submitted by Stock Broker on Thu, 02/12/2009 - 5:48pm.
Now the viva viagra song is stuck in my brain. Forever.
*viiiiiiiivaviagra! viiiiiiiivaviagra!*
You must die. I alone am best.
Submitted by Stock Broker on Thu, 02/12/2009 - 5:48pm.
The Viva Viagra commercials piss me off!
Poor Elvis, he is probably rolling over in his grave each time that fool commercial is on!