American Idol's Tatiana Del Toro Is This Year's Kristy Lee Cook
When American Idol started this year, I was wondering who would fill Kristy Lee Cook's devil's hooves as the object of my rage. I'm pleased to say that the spot has been filled by shrieking jackal Tatiana Del Toro who will face America's firing squad next week when she sings. And I've got my rifle fucking loaded and ready to go.
I don't really need to go into all the reasons why Tatiana makes me want to shove a mini-hot curling iron in my ear and open it. Just watch the clip above and everything will become clear to you. You'll wish you could give your ears an acid enema. And if you can't watch the whole clip, just to skip to the end and look at the faces of everyone around her. They are wishing for that acid ear enema too.
Tatiana isn't a bad singer, it's just everything else! When she laughs, garage doors go flying, cars combust and dogs run into traffic. Bitch sounds like a hyena on helium getting DPed.
It's like her laugh is taunting me to punch her in the mouth. Everyone else is hearing "Ahahahahahahaha," but I hear "Slap me, bitch! Slap me!" I bet the people in her family have already lost the feeling in their hands from sitting on them so much to keep from whacking her ass.
That said, I hate her so much that I think I love her. When she explodes into a cloud of laughing gas after she gets the boot (which will happen), it will be bittersweet for me. I mean, who else will make me angrily write stfu" on my TV screen using the blood from my bleeding ears?
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I’m disappointed that Tatiana Del Toro did not make it into the final 12. I think that she is a star in the raw. In fact, she’s the closest thing to Madonna I’ve seen since, well, Madonna–back in the day. Del Toro is certainly a better singer than Ms M; way better. She’s also undeniably charismatic. And the camera loves her. Most importantly, she is unforgettable, for all the right AND wrong reasons. That’s what makes a pop star. Del Toro is the only reason I’ve watched consecutive–not to mention entire–episodes of American Idol for the first time. I hope that she gets a chance to return for the Wild Card segment.
Submitted by bambiland on Tue, 02/17/2009 - 4:00am.
and you get all this out of an American Idol contestant?... no offense intended, but, i weep for you
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"We play the game,
with the bravery of being out of range."
I had to join the discussion so I could express how MY LOVE FOR TATIANA JUST GROWS AND GROWS - I too was put-off in the beginning, but then I experienced the Tatiana Revolution of Love Awakening. You will too, if you open your heart ;)
Did you know her fans are calling her the next Madonna?
Did you know Mother Theresa is one of her idols?
She's also survived 8 hurricanes, and can create energy out of nothing. She's not a drama queen - the show's portrayed her like that for ratings. She just wants this as bad as everyone else, and just doesn't mask her fear and insecurity like other contestants. She has a good, honest soul. Her determination to keep striving forward, believing in herself, should be inspiring to others.
She's been singled out and ridiculed by the other contestants, and still doesn't let it get to her. While most people in her position would succumb to all the hate surrounding them, or become defensive and hate back, she just respects how they feel and sings on.
And it's inspired her fans too - to just keep on believing. Believing in LOVE, DREAMS, and seeing the GOOD in everyone and everything.
I hope people will start to see the magic and love that really is Tatiana.
TATIANA = LOVE
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ghaa, she sounds just like the "chicken lady" from kids in the hall. only not funny. or canadian.
Jamar isn't all that hence why he didn't make it.
Danny is okay, but his dead wife story is overplayed & boring. Too bad for him & I don't care.
Tatiana & Simon would make a perfect couple called Simiana.
Simon is one mean SOB. I'd like to slap him & Tatiana. Happily Randy stopped using Dawg 5 times a sentence.
If Tatiana was my daughter I would have killed her off a long time ago.
Tatiana is a super annoying bitch ever!!! Simon must love her & wants to come in that loud mouth of hers.
Her laugh, screaming & crying is super annoying.
I want Tatiana gone from AI.
AI insists on putting talentless & shitty people on the show who can't sing.
Life needs passion.
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oh my GOD! In response to Ms. Caligula's post, I was on the floor in TEARS at the expression on that guy's face when this fool came out hugging Secrest and then screamed. That look is so priceless I hope they use it on The Soup and Best Week Ever because that crap was funny as HELL! I could look at that all day long and laugh as if I'd just seen it for the first time. Priceless!
I think there's a resemblance between this ho and Isla Fisher, who just happens to be the ad of the day (lol), and I want Isla to play Tatiana in a movie. She could totally pull off this batshit craziness.
I LOVE the gay at the end! His facial expression & body language says it all, & then for lack of knowing what else to do, he just starts clapping what is possibly the gayest, most confused clap in the history of mankind. LOVE HIM.
Submitted by Bondagebarbie on Thu, 02/12/2009 - 10:14pm.
Someone needs to hook her up with Chris Brown.
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AAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAAAAAAAA
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"This is straight up fuckery."
His Holiness MK, 9/03/08
MK - that was the funniest fucking post I've ever read!!
And I'd like to beat the shit out of that bitch!!
All I could think of while watchig this is that funny chick from Priviledged who also played Jan in the Brady Bunch movie. Can't you imagine her impersonating this bitch (while holding a glass of chardonnay, of course)?
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Love,
Mabel
How little we understand what touches off that tingle,
That sudden explosion when two tingles intermingle. --Mrs. Kravitz
Thank you, Campbells! You're telling the jokes for me. --MK
Can you imagine what she must sound like as she is having an orgasm? A baby?
Personally I would like to kick her in the coochie with my rugged hiking boot.
Oh and someone should tell her to wear a freakin bra.
people want to sleep with her? that's news. as in the onion news.
and yes, that's her real name. people, it's entertainment! packaged. this is what to expect. i just can't believe i have the displeasure of watching on tv someone i know, on that level of crazy. show show show. drama. eat it up people. ya'll love it, don't front.
holy shit! this girl went to my high school and she was a braces wearing annoying as fuck nut job and she only got worse with time. her brother was the quiet one...
i'm so sorry the world had to be exposed to this. i had enough with h.s.
ps-the only sad upside is that it breaks the stereotype of what people think puerto ricans are. now they can be seen as annoying white people who shriek and cry. hurray.
(^_^)(^_^)(^_^)
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this show is a pathetic joke--they don't make stars. So, if they aren't going to produce the next pop star, then they should entertain me, and dammit, between her and Norman Gentle, I'm fucking entertained. That an all the tween turds would shit themselves if Tatiana actually advanced.
☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
Interviewer: You're playing one of the most famous characters in movie history. How come we don't see you in all the tabloids?
Daniel Craig: Because I don't want to be in them.
tits: lol. of course not. it'll be beyond creepy if i found one. i'm looking for Czech/Belgian Philharmonic Orchestra piece. i already found it, thank you.
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i haven't committed a crime.
what i did was fail to comply with the law.
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This bitch makes me feel violent. I hate AI with a passion but I had to watch because I love Joanna Pacitti. I am pissed that Joanna got the axe but in all fairness, she already had a CD out[which I own, which is FABULOUS]. Joanna also did a song from the Bratz movie called "Out From Under". It's a beautiful, haunting song and I about had a cow when I heard that Shitney BUTCHERED the fuck out of it on her goddamn Circus CD. Anyhoo, screamy bitch is annoying as fuck. This is why I hate AI.
(¯`'•.¸(¯`'•.¸♥¸.•'´¯)¸.•'´¯)
2007~It was a truly magical time in Shitneyland.
"jim is our Dollar Store version of commingback." -christine the hoff 12/04/2008
is she for real?
She reminds me of Charo.
Hey, have you guys heard that this one appeared on the hot hook-up club " celebmingle com " for wealthy singles to hook up for Love and Sexy dating?
Submitted by One-trick Pony on Thu, 02/12/2009 - 10:44pm.
This here is why I fucking hate Simon Cowell.
Everyone gives him so much credit for his "wit" and his honesty, when first of all, it's a fucking act for ratings, and second of all, apparently all that he needs to be convinced otherwise regarding his staged, oversensationalized bullshit he calls an "opinion" is a some giggling teenaged cocktease to twirl her hair and "flirt" a little bit.
AKA Simon Cowell is pretty much what's wrong with mainstream music today...and as far as his unnecessary shitty comments...he's asked to judge on a fucking singing contest. Keep the comments at least somewhat relevant before you make yourself look like a bigger schoolyard cunt than you already do, Simon.
People say shit like "Oh they asked for it for going on this show"...yeah, but they're asking to be judged for their TALENT, not who gives Semen Cowell the biggest hardon.
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In the English vocabulary, the term "gorgeous" has been modified to replace "passably pretty".
i love the bitchy mo giving her the stank eye.
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backseat.tumblr.com
Everyone else is hearing "Ahahahahahahaha," but I hear "Slap me, bitch! Slap me!"
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thats strange because i hear CHOKE ME CHOKE ME.
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Colt 45 and 2 zigzags, baby that's all we need.
Submitted by Bondagebarbie on Thu, 02/12/2009 - 10:14pm.
Someone needs to hook her up with Chris Brown.
that was so wrong but i lol'd. can't stand this crazy chick
I hate this CUNT!
During Hollyweird week, I honestly thought, someone was gonna kill her.
"Going gray is like ejaculating. You know it can happen prematurely, but when it actually does, it's a total shock." MAH BOO!!!
Submitted by One-trick Pony on Thu, 02/12/2009 - 10:44pm.
Danny, Jamar's friend, has a dead wife, therefore, he is a lot easier for the judge's to pimp out. During the first few weeks of the auditions whenever we'd see Danny Gorky, we ALWAYS had to hear about his wife dying. They just LOVE a sob story.
I think everyone is right about them splitting votes. That's a shame, too. My son was FURIOUS last night when Jamar left and they kept that guy with the "shtick" that looks like he's 40 years old, the guy who forgot his words and stormed off the stage... oh, and of course, crazy Tatianna.
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"You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough." -Mae West
I can't believe they passed her. She actually has a good voice but it's totally clear she is not "mature" enough to handle even the piddling duties associated with being THE American Idol (i.e. scrubbing the grime off randy jackson's balls)
www.lowbrowsophisticate.com/category/taunting
Submitted by One-trick Pony on Thu, 02/12/2009 - 10:44pm.
I felt so sorry for the one blonde who had to sing last night against the other, prettier blonde. Even though she ended up being the one to get through, the judges basically called her ugly, both behind her back and then right to her face!
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I agree about that this. It was really shitty of the judges. The blonde girl they dissed wasn't even ugly or fat. She just had awful clothing style, which can be easily fixed with help. They expect some regular, non rich or famous girl to automatically have great style? To be honest there was a lot of bad clothing choices by other contestants but the judges choose to pick on that girl.
There were a couple of WTF?, unnecessarily mean moments on the show, directed to people who didn't really deserve it.
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Ahahahahahah..I wish wish wish I had watched this when I was stoned!
She is the most annoying assbag so far on AI
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Bye! Good
@ Karma Police
Yes, Jamar - that's his name. Thank you.
I was rooting for him, but I think you may be on to something ... the judges seem quite fond of Danny and didn't want the two canceling each other out. I hope Jamar comes back next year.
As for the women, I'm not sure who I like yet. Ann Marie, the graceful looking one who Simon made leave her audition and come back dressed more like a star ... she seems watchable. I felt so sorry for the one blonde who had to sing last night against the other, prettier blonde. Even though she ended up being the one to get through, the judges basically called her ugly, both behind her back and then right to her face!
What an annoying little slag...I would never stop slapping her if I had the chance.
Fuck off and die, twat.
MK, you made me laugh so hard I was in tears. On another note, GOOD GOD she is annoying; even my dogs seemed bothered by her.
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Love me or hate me
It's still an obsession
Love me or hate me
That is the question
And if you love me then 'thank you'
And if you hate me then 'f--- you'
I'm in love with red pants, gay headband dude.
in LOVE I tell you!! Talk about giving good face!!
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does the drunk tank have a closing time or something?--Team Valtrex
@ One-trick Pony
I am sooo angry because I really liked Jamar but I have a feeling that the judges really want Danny to win and they got rid of Jamar because he would draw votes away from Danny. I've never heard them say "you should definitely come back next year" and "you'll try again next year, right?" and things like that before.
I am definitely going to vote for Danny the whole way because I like him and because he is a choir director in my hometown but I will really miss Jamar.
Submitted by devilgirl on Thu, 02/12/2009 - 6:31pm.
Submitted by jiggywiddit on Thu, 02/12/2009 - 6:29pm.
I bet you wanted to shank that bitcj, Dr.Zira? She had the child that you and Cornelius never had!
.............
That wounded me deeply.
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does the drunk tank have a closing time or something?--Team Valtrex
She needs to go lezzie with Paula.
And then make a reality show!
YAY! CULTURE!
♥ ThreadKilla!
Well, you know - I heard it through the Grapevine:)
That's not what this is. Every time a decent person comes in you set out to prove they have brain damage. House MD
Someone needs to hook her up with Chris Brown.
xoxoxoxox
Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
ugh...this bitch. I can't figure out if it's an act and she thinks it's cute or if she is that fucking stupid and nutso. I want to punch her, when she speaks, laughs and plays with her hair I punch myself to stop the pain.
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sometimes the appropriate response to reality is to go insane.
I completely & totally despise this arrogant, annoying, self centered little cunt...I cannot wait for her to go home. Thankfully they already booted out Joanna Pacitti, so that's one less twit to hate.
OK, I confess ... I watched Idol for the first time last season, and now I'm hooked. So, I'm addressing all you other AI junkies with this: How pissed were you last night when they got rid of one half of that great guy friendship? (The one who sang that "Delilah" song during Hollywood week.) He was not only talented, but I was really looking forward to watching him and his bespectacled widower friend on the show together.
And secondly, I have a major crush on the "oil rig roughneck," as Seacrest keeps calling him. There's just something about a big ol' man's man with small children and impeccable manners.
It is wrong for a man have a rich woman or a woman have a wealthy man?
It is an absolutely extramarital relationship. but more and more services come out on Internet focusing on this kind of relationship.
such as http://www.wealthymingle.com/
it's the biggest dating site for wealthy and suclessful people.
Tatiana (as if that's her real name) thinks "men" wanted to sleep her? Here's what they REALLY said: "God, Tatiana will you JUST go to SLEEP! Please! Shut up! Stop singing! Stop crying! FFS! Stoooooppppppp!"
Like that.
she makes me want to beat newborn babies to death with newborn baby seal corpses .... good god ...
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"This is straight up fuckery."
His Holiness MK, 9/03/08
Submitted by korupsi on Thu, 02/12/2009 - 6:40pm.
Maggie69: that guy's reaction is always priceless. he's a drama queen too.
off-topic: can anyone please tell me where i can download Beethoven 7th Symphony, 2nd Movement for free? i just watched The Fall and the movie and the music are just awesome. for the record, i've tried 4shared, seekasong, airmp3, mp3raid and piratebay. i got one on airmp3, but that piece was played by Columbia U, not Beethoven.
please???
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you're looking for a version played by beethoven?
um....
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
A false eyelash should be like a secret abortion: discrete, so as not to attract Christian rage. - Ziggy S