Putting On Clothes Is Confusing
There's nothing better than a boozy pepaw sexing it up in a black speedo. Actually, yeah there is. A boozy pepaw sexing it up in a black speedo while trying to put his pants on as a shirt is even better. The bitches around his ass agree with me. Those whores are having the time of their lives. Even a little boy runs by recording this mess on his phone. They are all acting like this shit has never happened to them. It happens to everyone! Right?
One time I was at some trick's house, wasted out of my brains. If you put a Brethalyzer near my asshole, I would've farted a 1.2 or more. Drunk. Well, when fucky times was over, I started to put myself together for the 4am walk of shame. Getting dressed while drunk is never easy, especially when it's at some strange whore's apartment. It's confusing!
After about a minute or two of trying to get dressed, the mofo started laughing hysterically. I thought to myself, "It's just a growth. Get over it." But quickly realized that I was putting on my pants as a shirt just like the sexy pepaw above. I told the whore to shut the hell up and then said, "It also doubles as a shrug, you dumbass."
That's exactly what this sexy pepaw should've done. Worn that shit as a shrug and stomped off. Some people really don't understand fashion.
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Thankfully, I usually black out before anything like this can happen...Poor guy...
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Submitted by juni on Mon, 02/16/2009 - 12:10am.
They left off the part where he put his shirt on his legs.
If he only put his shoes on his hands and sprung a handstand nobody would have even noticed.
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Ok,stop puffing the magic dragon.
Submitted by grapedrinkbaby on Sun, 02/15/2009 - 5:55pm.
i got a grandma who has had alzheimer's for 9 yrs, and she still knows that her pants don't go on her arms...i know i've dressed her...i also have an alcoholic father, who when would absolutely put his pants on his arms after a day of booze and sun...i'm weighing in on the side of drunk and not feeling sorry for this cat...if u see my drunk father doing some stupid shit like this on a beach, feel free to film and post!...he needs all the consequences he can get! grape
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Heh, one of my galfriends has a nana with alzheimer's who used to come downstairs WITHOUT her pants regularly. She also would put her unders on over her overs. Her family learned to develop a sense of humor about it which is probably all you can do.
As in this case. I mean, come on. We've all made asshats of ourselves while drunk, haven't we? Comes with the drinkin'.
They left off the part where he put his shirt on his legs.
I understand the concern about the annoying cackling group being jackasses and not being more sensitive... and I agree that it would've been nice for someone to step up more quickly than what happened. But people... he was able to squeeze his junk into a Speedo earlier in the day! He's just been in the sun all day enjoying cocktail after cocktail after cocktail. As we type he's feeling all better and is enjoying a cocktail someplace else.
"I told the whore to shut the hell up and then said, "It also doubles as a shrug, you dumbass."
These are exactly the refined moments I'm talking about when I say that dlisted makes me feel o.k. about being the fabulous fucked up mess I am.
Thanks for making me lol!!!
Estrogen a-poppin!
ahh..brings back my Croatia memories, drunken whores laughing at even drunker whores, right before they started all the genocide anyway. MK, no shame in drunken dressing..You just own that shit, and the shrug comment is classic..one I may have need of in the future, hope you don't mind.
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Oh, just fuck it. Fuckity McFuckerson.
For some reason I don't find this funny at all. I think the people laughing and not helping that poor guy are disgusting as he's probably just slow.
He probably hails from a place where he doesn't have to wear clothes.
I also love how all these commenters are trying to one-up your jokes and failing to do so
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MK, I lurves your whorey ass stories.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Mrs. K. squeezed my ass. I can die happy.
That was fucking hilarious!!!!!!!!
MK, you sloppy drunk Slut!
Well, his butt is white, haha...
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MK you have the most epic drunken/slutty stories EVER.
Poor wasted pepaw...I've been there. Well not really, I could tell what my pants and shirts look like. =/
The best part of this post was MK's story. :P
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"I'm not crazy; I'm just a little unwell."
@ charles manson the laughing fuckers are his loved ones. don't you have family, dude?
Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on Sun, 02/15/2009 - 6:52pm.
Well, if you feel like it, shoot me an email. I didn't get the last one you sent (to my work, right?)-- weirdness!
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"I'm intellectual & stuff." "You're flunking English. That's your mother tongue & stuff."
Submitted by Charles Manson on Sun, 02/15/2009 -
GET OFF YOUR GODDAMN CRUEL ASS AND HELP HIM AND SPARE HIM EMBARRASSMENT. THAT IS WHAT GOOD FUCKING PEOPLE DO.
..........
*looks around*
I don't see good people here. However, from what all we bitches talk about, I'm sure we are straightup "good-fucking people."
@ LCT--if the speedo fits...LOL.
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Exhaustion is the new black.
Submitted by grapedrinkbaby on Sun, 02/15/2009 - 7:10pm.
Giovanni is a friend of Xenu??? that one hit me in the gut
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Yes, it was a blow to me too. Now Tommy Girl is at Daytona trying to put his tentacles (and not cool ones like on nannerpus!) on poor Jeff Gordon and god knows who else! He better stay away from my Carl Edwards!
Giovanni is a friend of Xenu??? that one hit me in the gut
People should laugh at him, he's embarrassing himself and his family.
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Ok,stop puffing the magic dragon.
Drunken pepaw for Hot Slut!
xoxoxoxox
Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
Submitted by Charles Manson on Sun, 02/15/2009 - 4:35pm.
I WANT TO SHOOT EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THOSE GODDAMN FUCKING LAUGHING MOTHERFUCKERING HYENAS. WHETHER IT IS DUMBASS ALCOHOL OR SOMETHING ELSE THE OLD FUCK IS OBVIOUSLY SICK IN SOME WAY. GET OFF YOUR GODDAMN CRUEL ASS AND HELP HIM AND SPARE HIM EMBARRASSMENT. THAT IS WHAT GOOD FUCKING PEOPLE DO. EVEN I FUCKING KNOW THAT.
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That's why we lurves you, Cholly...Well, that and all the 'FUCK's and 'GODDAMN's in your posts...
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
3 minutes of a drunk old fart trying to wear his pants as a jacket...i'm not amused...
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i broke my cunt...lisa lampanelli
Who in the FUCK brings a plastic kiddie pool to the BEACH?
"Whats so bad about rapey eyes? At least you know youre definately going to get laid at some point in the night if u go on a date with him."
Submitted by jiggywiddit on Sun, 02/15/2009 - 6:58pm.
*fans out DListed poker cards*
I'll see your D & D and raise you one.
What if he's drunk, demented, AND double-posting??
:-) (Hope you know I love you.)
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Wait, are you saying I'm a double-posting drunk dementor?
The people who are laughing are Russian. They are saying things like.. "look,look he thinks they're sleeves",..." He should put it on his head". Some girl said" don't laugh like horses".
I suspect they were the ones who got him drunk in the first place. LOL
Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on Sun, 02/15/2009 - 6:33pm.
What if he's drunk AND demented?
...............
*fans out DListed poker cards*
I'll see your D & D and raise you one.
What if he's drunk, demented, AND double-posting??
:-) (Hope you know I love you.)
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Exhaustion is the new black.
Submitted by dramaqueen365247 on Sun, 02/15/2009 - 6:47pm.
LCT: Quite fab! Mr. DQ completely surprised me. Back at Christmas, Mom asked what I wanted, & I mentioned pearls. FF to V Day, & I got a lovely pearl & ruby necklace & earrings -- he LISTENED & REMEMBERED! I chose well!
How was yours?
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Wooooooooooooooooow. That's IMPRESSIVE. Rubies are GORGEOUS, not to mention pearls.
Mine was ok. Totally bittersweet.
Wow, I did not know he was a Sciento! Damn those bastards!
Who won't they get their filthy hands on? I pray Gordon can resist! But once you stare into Xenu's sidekick Tommy's eyes, it could be all over for Jeff! : (
Yep, Giovanni has been for years. Tears me up. I've loved him since was a supporting on "The Wonder Years"!!
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"I'm intellectual & stuff." "You're flunking English. That's your mother tongue & stuff."
Submitted by dramaqueen365247 on Sun, 02/15/2009 - 6:44pm.
I hate Jr! He is an arrongant little creep who chokes in most races and he will NEVER live up to the name his father had.
Yeah, I got really scared seeing Tommy there. Hope he isn't trying to recuit Jeff to Xenu! Is Giovanni a sciento? Tell me it isn't so! I love him!
Did you ever see Giovanni in The Dog Problem? I love that movie!
LCT: Quite fab! Mr. DQ completely surprised me. Back at Christmas, Mom asked what I wanted, & I mentioned pearls. FF to V Day, & I got a lovely pearl & ruby necklace & earrings -- he LISTENED & REMEMBERED! I chose well!
How was yours?
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"I'm intellectual & stuff." "You're flunking English. That's your mother tongue & stuff."
@dg: NEVER! Jr. can do no wrong. & on a more upsetting note, WTH is Tommy Girl doing on Jeff's pit box? TG can NOT ruin Jeff! He's already made me swear off Will Smith & Giovanni Ribisi, dammit!
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"I'm intellectual & stuff." "You're flunking English. That's your mother tongue & stuff."
Submitted by dramaqueen365247 on Sun, 02/15/2009 - 6:40pm.
LCT: You still around? I emailed you on Fri. I saw something about you traveling, & I don't know if you were serious or kidding. Still at the same job?
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I got your mailaroony and replied :) Yep, same job for now, but need a change! Life's too short to be mid-20s and not doing anything interesting.
How was your VD?
Submitted by dramaqueen365247 on Sun, 02/15/2009 - 6:28pm.
@ grape -- maybe not as well as you say -- you're talking to yourself, love!
DG: I love Carl! But the 24 is my driver. (& the 88 should NOT be on the lead lap!) We go to the spring Bristol every year. LOVE it!
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Lucky dog! I'd love to go to a race sometime. I may try to do Phoenix in the fall.
Yeah, 88 should definitely not be on the lead lap. He was bitching at Carl Edwards last year for causing a big wreck, but you won't see 88 apologizing for the wreck he caused!
Edit- I am also a Gordon fan he used to be my #1, but Carl is my number one now, then Jeff. : )
LCT: You still around? I emailed you on Fri. I saw something about you traveling, & I don't know if you were serious or kidding. Still at the same job?
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"I'm intellectual & stuff." "You're flunking English. That's your mother tongue & stuff."
Submitted by jiggywiddit on Sun, 02/15/2009 - 6:31pm.
That's not dementia. That's tequila. Guaranteed.
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What if he's drunk AND demented?
Submitted by jiggywiddit on Sun, 02/15/2009 - 6:31pm.
That's not dementia. That's tequila. Guaranteed.
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What if he's drunk AND demented?
Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on Sun, 02/15/2009 - 6:27pm.
Dementia's a bitch.
.............
That's not dementia. That's tequila. Guaranteed.
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Exhaustion is the new black.
@ grape -- maybe not as well as you say -- you're talking to yourself, love!
DG: I love Carl! But the 24 is my driver. (& the 88 should NOT be on the lead lap!) We go to the spring Bristol every year. LOVE it!
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"I'm intellectual & stuff." "You're flunking English. That's your mother tongue & stuff."
Dementia's a bitch.
LOL! Who hasn't put their pantys back on inside out and backwards after a drunk ass booty call?
**looks around**
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I consider it a sign of class and elegance when a lady DOESN'T draw attention to her snatchal region.
Submitted by Sheeps on Sun, 02/15/2009 - 6:18pm.
I'm just glad he didn't decide to change out of his Speedo.
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I thought that it was headed in that direction for a bit. *shivers*
I'm just glad he didn't decide to change out of his Speedo.
Shit, that's funny. It reminds a little of the trip I took to the D.R. a few years ago and this guy was drunk off his ass and said he'd take our picture. He pointed the lens at himself and took an extreme close up pic of himself. I kept it just to laugh every now and then. F-in priceless
Submitted by grapedrinkbaby on Sun, 02/15/2009 - 6:11pm.
I am glad to hear it. I am napping and watching the Daytona 500- Yes, I do like NASCAR, there is a hint of hillbilly in me! My driver Carl Edwards just got hit, I am pissed!
Man people are such assholes. Yes I would have laughed too but I wouldn't have recorded it for the world to see.
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DevilG&Grape: i'm doing much better...nothing like a walk with the doggies then an afternoon nap to lift the spirits!