Alfie, You Are... NOT... The Father?
At first, I was surprised at the initial story that the fetus, I mean, the toddler, I mean, 13-year-old Alfie Patten could even make a baby with an eye-dropper sized load of nut, but what I find even more shocking is that two other boys, Richard Godswell (left) and Tyler Barker (right), came forward to say they're actually the father of Chantelle Steadman's baby, Maisie Roxanne. The UK has different standards on baby making practices, because here in the US, a whore has to go to Maury to find out which of the 14 reluctant stunt peens are actually the father.
The mega-slut-in-training told The Sun that it was Alfie's baby jizz that got her knocked up. Chantelle said, “I love Alfie. I lost my virginity to him. We decided to start a physical relationship because we love each other. There has been no one else." Alfie said he is willing to take a DNA test. Well, he got all excited about it, because his daddy said he'll get a lollipop afterwards.
I just have a hard time believing Alfie is the papa je'e. I want to see some ID. Bitch doesn't even look like he can tie his own shoes without sing "The Shoe-Tying Song."
Chantelle is probably tricking Alfie's ass. She told him that the peck he gave her on the cheek made a baby. Alfie believed her ass when he saw a stork flying above her house. Just like in the books he just read!
If it is found that he is not the father, he can go back to living his pre-teen life collecting Yu-Gi-Oh cards, melting plastic army men with magnifying glasses and fiddling his piddler without the aid of a vagina. You know, normal toddler stuff.
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I sense Jeremy Kyle salivating at this potential televisual situation...
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Cos things are gonna get better
I'm from the UK and we call these people CHAVS. Where are parents, people ask? They're probably the ones who called The Sun because they want the money.
Exploitation at its worst.
Where in God's name are the parents of this slut in training, not to mention the boys??????? The baby should be given up for adoption, no question.
this sounds like a job for maury...
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i broke my cunt...lisa lampanelli
He honestly doesnt look like he should take care of anything alive.
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oh lord. Hilarious. spot on.
I still think this kid is 8 and they are lying about his age so the girl isnt charged with a juve charge of molestation of some sort.
a 15 year old MOTHER and shes only slept with ONE? be serious. Who do u think showed virgin alfie where it goes? Not her first time on the merry go round. You dont go around seducing lil kids if you've never done it yourself. he wasnt even thinking about it.
I remember the girl on my block and the loser boy down the street had sex when they were 13. The girl preceded to tell everyone monday the only thing he penetrated was the space between the couch cushions. She had to tell him he wasnt in her was humping the couch. Even those monkeys used a rubber.
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I dont think, I drink.
Lovely baby
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Why are these boys tripping over themselves to take responsibility for this baby's paternity???
Wouldn't most teenage boys (and their parents) keep their mouths shut-especially if someone else is already taking the rap--??
Somethin' in the milk ain't right.....Stay tuned
Submitted by iHeartHaters: "Kids do not become preteen sluts for no reason, this little girl was sexually abused."
I totally agree.
I wanna see this DNA mess go down on Maury.
xoxoxoxox
Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
Is this little slut the UK's answer to Paris Hilton?
save Alfie! poor baby looks so lost!
I know, sadly she's getting more action than most of us. I'm moving overseas, it sounds like if you just step outside you get laid.
Submitted by dbc132 on Mon, 02/16/2009 - 4:54pm.
wait... the tramp isnt even pretty!! how the fuck is she getting more than i am?!?! lol
I am so glad I'm not the only one who thought this.
Submitted by devilgirl on Mon, 02/16/2009 - 4:39pm.
Submitted by Sandbitch on Mon, 02/16/2009 - 4:37pm.
Breaktheleash said to say Hi and she will be back in a bit Sandbitch. : )
==What's gooin on over at DG's place???
Does Alfie even know how babies are made? Kissing a girl doesn't get her pregnant. After hearing him talk, it sounds like he still hasn't started puberty. He still sounds like a little kid who is 7 not 13.
wait... the tramp isnt even pretty!! how the fuck is she getting more than i am?!?! lol
Submitted by Sandbitch on Mon, 02/16/2009 - 4:37pm.
Breaktheleash said to say Hi and she will be back in a bit Sandbitch. : )
Submitted by CandyPerfumeGirl on Mon, 02/16/2009 - 4:31pm.
I hope the kid finds out he is not the father. He honestly doesnt look like he should take care of anything alive.
==He'll be no more capable when he's 24, trust. CHAVS reach full capacity at 9 years of age.
I hope the kid finds out he is not the father. He honestly doesnt look like he should take care of anything alive.
And who is this stupid little, idiotic, moronic, uneducated, ignorant tramp anyway? How can she have sex and get knocked up and no one thought of an abortion?? Do you know the issues that baby is gonna have? I mean how would you feel if you are 26 years old and have a 13 year old kid? What kills me is that the parents they moved to are also unemployed.
I would take away this baby and give it to a family that can really take care of it (as long as it is not brangelina). These kids are not fit to raise a child. Shit i wouldnt even trsut them with a chia-pet.
This is FUCKED UP to the point of non-hilarious.
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"Charlie you fucking bitch, let's work it out" - High Fidelity
JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!
lol madam s.
my money's on the chav with the eyebrow ring too.
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your band sounds like someone choking on guitar hero.
www.haighthearts.blogspot.com
Submitted by Stoney on Mon, 02/16/2009 - 12:21pm.
It's not fucking social services' job to raise your child and teach your teenage daughter to keep her whorey legs shut. It's YOUR JOB, Chantelle's mom. I would bet my next paycheck she has more than five kids.
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And you would, unfortunately, be right:
"Chantelle and Maisie were released from hospital yesterday. They are living with Penny [Chantelle's mom], Chantelle’s jobless dad Steve, 43, and her five brothers in a rented council house in Eastbourne."
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The real LA? (on the right)- http://bp1.blogger.com/_p2jgVV2iZVs/Rwbyb01mwZI/AAAAAAAAAig/aetvoWN5Hbk/...
Submitted by reality check on Mon, 02/16/2009 - 10:55am.
The modern day version of a Charles Dickens novel. The British underclass at its finest. Don't see why people think all Brits are upper-crust Royals. Even Royals today behave like "commoners." No different today than 200 years ago.
I AM UPPER CLASS YOU COMMON TOAD!
The one on the left looks to be Chantelle's brother. I think we have a winner!
Submitted by Salem13 on Mon, 02/16/2009 - 12:54pm.
I know, I totally watched part of it. I mean, Big Love was on...
"Whats so bad about rapey eyes? At least you know youre definately going to get laid at some point in the night if u go on a date with him."
There's a similar thing going on in Denmark at the moment. Except in that case, BOTH of the parents are 13. I thought things like these only existed in British documentaries!
Submitted by Stoney on Mon, 02/16/2009 - 12:46pm.
Our society is so doomed when the trash continues to spawn like roaches and the intelligent, non-inbreds use birth control.
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OMG this reminds me, Comdey Central was airing Idiocracy last night.
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The world will look up and shout "Save us". And I'll whisper "No".
She's not a preteen, she's 15...
I'm not saying you're wrong, but something about her face just screams nasty whore to me...
*goes straight to hell*
"Whats so bad about rapey eyes? At least you know youre definately going to get laid at some point in the night if u go on a date with him."
Kids do not become preteen sluts for no reason, this little girl was sexually abused. Now the story is being exploited & getting worldwide attention? Fucked UP. This world is beyond help.
(¯`'•.¸(¯`'•.¸♥¸.•'´¯)¸.•'´¯)
2007~It was a truly magical time in Shitneyland.
"jim is our Dollar Store version of commingback." -christine the hoff 12/04/2008
Our society is so doomed when the trash continues to spawn like roaches and the intelligent, non-inbreds use birth control.
"Whats so bad about rapey eyes? At least you know youre definately going to get laid at some point in the night if u go on a date with him."
these boys look like the entire cast of "Stand By Me"...this must be the sequel, "Cum By Me"
is that corey feldman on the right?
Ok, I found the article. So there are actually MORE than three possible fathers according the The Sun...um, WOW.
"Whats so bad about rapey eyes? At least you know youre definately going to get laid at some point in the night if u go on a date with him."
This story makes me feel so nauseous. These kids are being exploited by everyone in their unfortunate little lives. Can someone PLEASE stop the madness? :(
HAVE SOME DUMBASS WATER. - Charles Manson!
mega-slut-in-training
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Um...yeah. Wow.
♥ ThreadKilla!
"You blew it, Jack! And now you will never see the crazy underwears I have on!" "What kind of God would let that happen?" Salma and Alec: 30 Rock
All of these kids parents are a perfect example of why people should pass a test and get license in order to breed. None of these people have any business "raising" children.
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The world will look up and shout "Save us". And I'll whisper "No".
It's not fucking social services' job to raise your child and teach your teenage daughter to keep her whorey legs shut. It's YOUR JOB, Chantelle's mom. I would bet my next paycheck she has more than five kids.
"Whats so bad about rapey eyes? At least you know youre definately going to get laid at some point in the night if u go on a date with him."
Submitted by Green Is Good on Mon, 02/16/2009 - 11:38am.
I need a link about that shit.
"Whats so bad about rapey eyes? At least you know youre definately going to get laid at some point in the night if u go on a date with him."
I was betting on the grampaw being the real father.
It totally looks like Mr. Eyebrow Ring's.
Chantelle's mom bitched that social services isn't doing enough. Where was mom and dad when their 15 year old daughter was screwing 2 young guys and one little kid?
All four of them look RETARDED and should be neutered.
"Whats so bad about rapey eyes? At least you know youre definately going to get laid at some point in the night if u go on a date with him."
Submitted by didimao on Mon, 02/16/2009 - 11:02am.
Did anyone read in the Sun article that Alfie said they have been together for two years? She started dating him when he was 10 and she was like 12 or 13? WTF?! The 16 year old said he slept with her three times. This whole thing is beyond fucked up. I thought that boys don't produce sperm until they start puberty.
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boys DON'T produce sperm until they start puberty, and that's a fact.
she's a lying whore, that's for sure. what's next, a soap opera deal?
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i haven't committed a crime.
what i did was fail to comply with the law.
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Alfie is littler than david archuleta.
God her mother is retarded. So the claims of here sleeping around are unbelievable yet she has a baby at 15? And she told you she wasn't having sex when again she has a baby? Obviously your daughter isn't to good in the telling the truth department. And they have nerve to complain about social services not doing enough? HA!
If the UK broadcast a live special with "who's the father" paternity tests in envelopes it would get ratings that would rival the Charles-Di wedding.
Exactly what I thought. That little whore knows exactly what she was doing tricking some dumb fuck kid into believing his little thing made a baby to make headline news!! Every one has a GIMICK BUT ME!! That animal killer/future potential child killer on the left looks like he could produce a baby. The one on the right needs to stop. YOU ARE HOMO!! There was no way in hell that little boy could produce anything. His ass probably can't even pee straight.
Lyin' ho. She just named Alfie because he's the one with the promising future.
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Let's just fuckin' have sex and drugs. Bye!
GIG, Chanetelle must watch "Keeping Up With The Kardashians"....because they are such great role models and all.
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Yes it's real baby, got me so crazy
Light my fire dirty, like the way you serve me
Stimulate my body, crunk just like a party
Oh you won't be sorry, my Papi, I'm your Mami
- Missy Elliott "Bring The Pain"