It's Not April First Yet
And the headline of the morning is: "Michael Jackson's brother plans slavery theme park." Yup, let's all shut down our systems, grab our good friend Jack Daniel's and go back to fucking bed. Seriously, it feels like I'm still asleep and reading this shit in my nightmares. I'm waiting for a winged Spaghetti Cat to sweep in and take me away from this madness. Where art though, Spaghetti Cat?!
So, yeah, Marlon Jackson (yeah, he exists), is involved in a project to build The Badagry Historical Resort in Badagry, Nigeria which is a historical slave port. Marlon and investors will build a museum and memorial. Okay, I was on board with that until I read that they are also planning a slave history theme park, golf course, casino, Jackson museum, holograms of The Jackson 5 and a replica of a slave ship. The description went on to say, "Visitors will be able to explore the site of the former transatlantic slave trade, honor the hundreds of thousands who died in what were horrific human rights abuses, and then head off for a round of golf or a massage, before gawping at animatronic versions of the siblings who sang ABC and I Want You Back."
Naturally, some bitches are raising fits and kicking kittens over this. One Nigerian historian said, "It is not appropriate from a cultural or historical point of view."
The developers say the slave park of laughs is being marketed to African-Americans who wish to trace back their roots.
Yeah, we all love rides and animatronic characters, but the Underground Runaway Railroad Ride and Uncle Tom's Log Adventure is not my idea of a fun time.
I feel like a crazy e-mail from an exiled Nigerian politician who needs help claiming his inheritance is behind this fuckery. Marlon must have fell for it.
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"Underground Runaway Railroad Ride and Uncle Tom's Log Adventure"..........HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHA!!!!! I am laughing so hard my roommates came in and were wondering what all the fuss was about. Oh Michael, you bring tears of laughter to my eyes. Always. LOVE IT!
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Submitted by stdgirl on Wed, 02/18/2009 - 12:53am.
Yes, not Aprial first today.
And not tommorrow, or any day ever.
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Ok,stop puffing the magic dragon.
Yes, not Aprial first today.
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I feel some tears coming on. I also need to find a screw driver for my jaw/ WHat the fuck?!
you rang?
Back in their Destiny album days I was stuck on who was cuter..Marlon or Michael.. Okay seriously I guess Marlon has officially won...
Submitted by madam s. on Tue, 02/17/2009 - 11:39am.
what the fuck is wrong with you? i know 'gawping' is a word. i'm saying it's the WRONG word.
the description of kids 'gawping' at singing animated characters juxtaposed alongside the horrific suffering of humans is confused at best. bad concept, bad wording. it's fucked.
jeezus.
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Thanks, Newport Joey, now I'm off to YouTube to watch Leadbelly sing that "Jump down, turn around, pick a bale o cotton" song. Wish I knew the name.
Otherwise, I can't comment on this story other than it makes me very sad for humanity.
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Don't let anyone tell you you're not humpable,
Because you're bumpable. Well I hope this doesn't make you feel uncomfortable
How about instead you feed all those starving kids with flies in their mouths on those Sally Struthers infomercials?
What a moneygrubbing fuckin' asshole!!!!!! Someone else said it well: Crying with one eye while wiping it dry with a cold beer and gambling with the other. Something like that. Anything for a buck, those Jacksons.
Since most of the slave ships landed in either Richmond, Va, or Charleston, SC, we could insist that there would be an "arrival" theme park where the Nigerian tourists could complete the full experience....that would involve jumping down, turning around, and picking o' bale o' cotton.
"If Drinks Aren't Involved, Then Neither Am I."
this is the most fucked up thing i've read in a while...i'm going to pretend i didn't see this...
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i broke my cunt...lisa lampanelli
That sounds like a trully stupid idea, an idea that's mocking the slavery people had to endure while trying to make a buck out of another dead horse, the Jackson 5. I wonder who was the idiot that came up with this dumb shit, because I would love to kick him/her in the groin.
Playing golf amongst slavery props is as stupid as playing golf amongst Holocaust props. Sounds more like these assholes tried to build a plain Resort for rich people but got a red light instead, so they came up with the idea, renamed it "The Badagry Historical Resort", sent back the application and finally got the green light. Whatever, it's the dumbest idea ever. Over the stupid food recipes I read about yesterday.
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-"I am not about to deal with unstable people" - HEART ANGELINA.
Shouldn't the theme park be moved INLAND, for historical accuracy?
Black slavery between antagonistic tribes existed in Africa long before the advent of the Portuguese in the 1400s.
My resource is, "The Slave Trade: the Story of the Atlantic Slave Trade: 1440-1870" by Hugh Thomas
a slavery amusement park is disrespectful...these Jackson's have no boundaries
Hysteria,
www.yourdictionary.com/gawp
Submitted by blogenfreude on Tue, 02/17/2009 - 10:00am.
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LMFAO!!! Your last one is especially fucked up and hilarious.
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"Veronica, why are you pulling my dick?" - Heather Duke
FBD, Matt Duke
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dz0jypyHgTc
There is that one fucked up chromosone in the DNA strand that makes everybody in the Jackson family fucked up. I never thought I would say it but this gene pool should not be allowed to reproduce.
WTF?! That whole family (minus Janet and Reebie) is batshit crazy and should've been quarantined a long time ago so as not to spread the insanity.
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"Veronica, why are you pulling my dick?" - Heather Duke
FBD, Matt Duke
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dz0jypyHgTc
Submitted by madam s. on Tue, 02/17/2009 - 11:19am.
fuck you. i looked in 4 different dics. you need to use a proper brain, fuckwit
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Hysteria,
You need to look the word up in a proper dictionary, and not the Urban Dictionary. The word is used correctly in this context.
how about a park renacting the Christians being eaten by hungry lions?can I get an AMEN??? :(
there will be rides and other games..
:((((
^o^
http://digital.library.upenn.edu/women/saunders/joe/joe.html
Submitted by madam s. on Tue, 02/17/2009 - 11:07am.
ahem, i KNOW it's a word, Madam, and, yes, so is 'gawker'. but look at the fucking sentence. it's the wrong context. WORD CHOICE!!!
i need to take a shower, this whole concept seems cooked by some dirrty pedo troll hiding in a sewer.
BLECH
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My BFD says "gawp" is informal, perhaps a corruption of "gape."
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Let's just fuckin' have sex and drugs. Bye!
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"His mouth had been used as a latrine by some small creature of the night, and then as its mausoleum."
Hysteria and Hekki,
No... "gawping" IS a proper word. It is very similar to "gawking", just not as commonly used.
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LMAO @ Pernicious...Yeah, I'll be the first in the ticket line :\
*crickets*
Isn't America really already a giant fun park dedicated to the exploitation of minorities and the poor?
Just ask George Bush.
Submitted by blogenfreude on Tue, 02/17/2009 - 10:00am.
Marlon has a couple other projects in the works:
The Mall of Auschwitz
Audio Animatronic Pol Pot Killing Fields Exhibit
Six Flags at Wounded Knee
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LM_FUCKING_AO
well....when you think of it....the Jackson 5 were slaves...slaves to Motown and their master was their own father.....now you all know why Michael Jackson wants to be Peter Pan and fly away!!!
Hysteria. Thanks for looking that up. I kept re-reading that, thinking it was something MK wrote, because gawping didn't sound right. "Gawking" might have been what they meant, but in that context it didn't seem to be the right word. Gawking is what you do when a half-nekkid woman walks down the street.
ok, for one thing, "gawping" must be a typo. according to the urban dictionary it means:
"Posing uninvitingly to ward off others, or as a sign of derision.
Gawping. not cokin. get funky pants.
Looking good, hanging with the wild hos.
Looking good in a goatse stance. "
Hear that? Goatse stance. that aint right nor is its relative, 'gawking'. that whole sentence is nuts as is the essence of fuckery emanating from this entire concept. blech
there. i put way too much thought into this. next.
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great idea Marlon. I see Michael got the talent, and you got the brains. pfffffft.
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Too many dicks, too many dongs, too many schlongs, now sing this song.
- Flight Of The Conchords
Ugh, what is wrong with this fucktard?! Seriously?
I was just at the Holocaust Museum the other day, maybe I should go back and suggest they add a few amusement rides there. Yeeesh.
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Oh, just fuck it. Fuckity McFuckerson.
Oh come on now, like none of you want to get shackled to 500 other visitors and the rocked back and forth for a few minutes. Or maybe even run through a field to see who can avoid getting caught in a net. Or what is set to be a visitor's favourite, being whipped while denouncing your "slave name".
Personally, I can't wait...
I was going to Nigeria for spring break. Now I'll have one more fun thing to do.
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Let's just fuckin' have sex and drugs. Bye!
"Underground Runaway Railroad Ride and Uncle Tom's Log Adventure is not my idea of a fun time."
Genius!
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Please, you are making a German spectacle of yourself!
a memorial museum might be appropriate, fun rides not
.
A museum and memorial is an excellent idea. I like the idea of a replica slave ship. It would really put things in perspective. The rest? Jesus.
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Please, you are making a German spectacle of yourself!
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whaaaa?
*going back to bed - too early for this fuckery*
Never heard of it mike before you mentioned it. Sounds like a historical and enlightening place to see.
http://www.congo-pages.org/senegal/Goree.htm
When I hear 'theme park' I think of that Six Flaggs nonsense. And to exploit such tragedy is disgraceful.
Submitted by Manimal5 on Tue, 02/17/2009 - 10:15am.
Great minds uh?
Maybe we should be Partners
He Dicho! caso cerrado!!
Yay! My next project is going to include a lot of Holocaust rides!!
I'm going to do a haunted house with a lot of pop ups pictures of Hitler! scary!
ASSHOLE.
He Dicho! caso cerrado!!
"Visitors will be able to explore the site of the former transatlantic slave trade, honor the hundreds of thousands who died in what were horrific human rights abuses, and then head off for a round of golf or a massage, before gawping at animatronic versions of the siblings who sang ABC and I Want You Back."
There are just soo many things wrong with that statement.
Great idea! and maybe Germany can open a holocaust theme park...oh what fun on Hitlers runaway train.
I've seen Roots and I can't imagine why anyone would want to be reminded of that horrible period.
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Ok,stop puffing the magic dragon.
Michael already tried the Pedophile Theme Park at Neverland Ranch... and we all know how successful that was.
If you interested in the former slave trade, you can easilty visit Gorée Island near Dakar, Senegal. There's nothing tacky about it, and Dakar's a beautiful, friendly city. I've been.