Roseanne Wasn't Done
Roseanne already delivered her sermon on the RiRi/Brown situation, but she wasn't done! Nope, there's more crazy to go around and it sounds like she's sort of taking back her original rant. Roseanne gets deep into it and it's kind of a wild ride. One minute, I'm riding along with her and then she makes a sharp left and totally loses me, but picks me back up at the stop sign.
This shit really crawled into her head, because it sounds like she's about to write a book on it even though she doesn't have any of the facts. Maybe she can read minds? Here's Roseanne's latest thesis:
women who go back to men who have hit them are usually violent too--they escalate conflict by using verbal humiliation and often throw the first punch, but are then unable to withstand the strength of the man's counter attack.Alot of guys hit women because the women are hitting them, verbally abusing them or throwing the keys to their car outside and goading them on, and they lose control of themselves. This is what it sounds like to be in the rhianna-chris brown affair. there is no way out of violence if you are violent. the only way to win is not to play the game.
In the later stages, she won't leave because her will is destroyed, and a violent line crossed, because once the guy threatens to kill her, it becomes almost impossible for her to leave.
i hope rhianna is getting counseling from a professional counselor who will tell her that there is no way for her to ever win, and that she will have to curtail her own penchant for escalating conflict by screaming at or hitting or humiliating her abuser. I hope he gets real counseling too, that is not from a minister or his mom or any other shame based bullshit method that will never work, and that is designed to avoid dealing directly with self-control issues. I hope that they both leave each other alone and get over their faults.
I hope she does not continue to play the game with him. If they still love each other after they learn self control and conflict resolution, then they can get back together.
Move over, Marilyn Kagan! Didn't it feel like you should be reading that while lying on a leather sofa and periodically checking the clock to see when your hour is up? Unfortunately, I didn't walk away with a prescription for some strong shit after reading Roseanne's rant. But I will probably get a bill in the mail.
And Chris shouldn't get counseling from his pastor or mom. He should get it from Dr. Roseanne! But I have a feeling it would just end with his chopped off nuts in her hands.
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And if she goes back to him, she is a dumbass grrrrrrr. I have dealt with mental abuse, but never physical, unless you call the one slap i had that was nothing, like barely slap, physical. It never happened again, but the mental abuse got bad. If someone put me in the hospital there is no way, even though I dealt with mental abuse, I would ever ever go back. NO fucking way. The mental I dealed with because I told myself oh he's bipolar, etc and borderline (he was diagnosed bipolar not borderline but I diagnosed him that lol) so that was part of why i went back, and I was also abusive mentally too in a lot of ways. But I remembered the good times, and it was hard to not go back but no way, if someone hurts me physically, would I ever go back, you can't love someone that you put in the hospital. I do at least have enough sense to know that, not criticzing others, I am criticizing rihanna though. Because this guy cheats and beats, how much worse can it get? Of course i understand women who are afraid to leave, afraid of dying , but you will die staying, so i would risk it!
That's pretty funny coming from a shameless virago. Emotions and love are complicated and can get ugly. If a woman is yelling, the man is free to yell back, even match insult for insult, or walk away. But when a man, who is almost always physically stronger than the woman he is fighting and more hormonally wired for violence, resorts to punches, it ceases to be a fair fight. This is understood even in boxing where opponents are matched by weight. So for those of you making the same argument as Roseanne, until I see a man in the hospital or dead as a result of a few cheap verbal shots or a little screaming, you can keep your rationalizations to yourself.
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I don't see the point in these celebs making statements like this, it's not like she is going to listen to them. At the same time, i admire the ones that don't keep their mouths shut. But it's only going to affect Roseanne negatively I think.....and like I said Rihanna doesn't care what she says, so why say it. Only people like us can say this stuff (cause we aren't famous) without it affecting us and we know she doesn't care what we say but we just say it anyway. So I don't know what the point is.
I tell you what, if it's hitting me once or calling the police, i'd rather someone Hit me, no lie . Now if it's beating me up literally, like the crap i hear happened to rihanna, you know the exaggerated stories, i'd rather the police be called. But in general, I'd rather someone just hit me. Because I've dealt with enough cops that I don't want to again. But with the rumors of him "choking her till she passed out" yeah i'd rather deal wit the cops, not that I think that rumor is true. I've had a bf that threatened the cops on me millions of times and that shit is annoying! And not threatening only with stuff I did, with stuff that was lies. That gets old too!
I'm really curious to hear their official sides of the story. Eventually, both of them will end up interviewing with Barbara Walters or Ann Curry or what have you. Brown has no excuse for his violent outburst, but Rihanna is an idiot if she still thinks they have a chance. I wonder what led up to this. Was he always violent or did she start getting physical with him once she saw a questionable text? For all we know, she may have twisted his balls when he was driving and scratched him with those neon talons of hers, or maybe he was high and the "drugs made him do it." Still no excuse for beating her, a smart man would call the police if the woman was out of control. With all the sob stories of why women want to stay with an abusive man, I can understand it a bit when the woman has no income and no place else to go. But for someone like Rihanna, wealthy, famous, etc, she has no excuse not to leave at the first sign of trouble. He ain't married to you, you ain't his baby mama, so wtf is your excuse to stick around? He'll get better? Puh-leese. That line is for dependent amateurs.
I agree w/ Rosanne. But who knows what truly happened in that car.
RhiRhi should have kicked the asshole's teefs in with those tree trunks.
I totally get what Roseanne is saying and I agree although I dont think she should generalize because these situations are on a case by case basis...I do agree that at times women tend to push their men to their last nerve just because you know he wont hit you...everyone is human and if someone gets pushed long enough they will snap.. I also think that some couples thrive on drama and thi might be the case with Riri...
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Submitted by Heath on Thu, 02/19/2009 - 12:57am.
I'm saying that Roseanne's implication that most domestic violence is instigated by women is way off the mark. That's all.
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I tend to agree with you, but I think Roseanne's statements on this may be more reflective of her own early situation than anything else. Surely there are relationships where the participants goad each other, but you're right, I think domestic violence is largely a male anger-management, control, domination issue and not a "woman you've thrown my keys in the toilet one too many times" situation.
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she should have shut it and left it at "your time as whores for propaganda is ending, bitches"..now that was classic.
Nice hair tentacles, Roseanne.
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Damn Chris Brown
Roseanne Barr was completly off the grid
Now she's used his stupidity as an excuse to waddle off the trailer park
yEAH. I totally spaced out in he middle of that rant. Much like I do when my mom tries to call me up and bitch about shtuff. The three of them need to sit in a calming lavendar jacuzzi and cry it all out over shots of Jagermeister. That would be sure to make me not give a fuck, and just pass out till it all blows over
Estrogen a-poppin!
***Submitted by passnby on Thu, 02/19/2009 - 3:33am.
Roseanne did not write that, doesn't even sound like her. LOL!
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Roseanne did not write that, doesn't even sound like her. LOL!
She is looking pretty rough.
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Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
I was in an abusive relationship at 20 years old. I had a newborn, and nowhere to go. I had never been involved in a violent relationship before, and that one didn't start out crazy. It started with him breaking me down mentally first, and my self esteem is still screwed up to this day- 16 years later. I was never violent with him. I went back a total of 3 or 4 times, because he would "get better" for about a year, prove himself, and stay fine for about 5 months- sometimes a year- and then slowly start to snap again. I finally left him when he told me that he was going to kill me. Violence is never ok, and the women affectd shouldn't be judged. I never thought that I would be in a situation like that, with a child, and most of the excuses that I made for his behavior came from people telling me that it wasn't that bad, or trying to find my fault in it because there are "two sides" to every story. He was a great manipulator, and people loved him. Women go back because they remember the good times, and think that it won't happen again. There is also very little support for them, and just like Roseanne- along with some commenters- proved, people can't accept the fact that sometimes men are just screwed up. It's an isolating situation, and if you have no support, or people trying to support your abuser by placing some of the blame on you- you will stay. Where else is there to go when you are already broken?
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Who else saw Enty's post on CDAN today? Here it is:
(Copy/Pasted from CDAN)
Rihanna Getting Back Together With Chris Brown
If you believe the writers over at Star and their sources, then you will be shocked to hear that Rihanna has not even dumped Chris yet and instead has continued to text him and call him and keep in touch with him and is scaring everyone around her because she thinks this will all blow over and they can get back together again.
Wow. According to Star, Rihanna is constantly in touch with Chris and wants to make sure he is ok and that he is not cheating on her. The crazy thing is that Life & Style Magazine is basically reporting the same thing. I'm guessing that whoever this source is was good enough for both magazines to jump on their story. It has to be someone fairly close to one of them. Although the story seems to be pained from Rihanna's perspective, someone in Chris' camp who is reading the texts or listening to the calls could also be the source. It could be Chris' publicist for all we know.
I do know that if Rihanna does take Chris back there is going to be a wave of backlash to her career that will come down on her hard. Also, you just know that it will happen again and again and again. Rihanna is not the shy and retiring type and Chris is a cheater. Star got shown a text from someone Chris was scheduled to have sex with the night before he and Rihanna sang a duet together in concert, and then of course there is the texting that led up to all this. I have to imagine that if you have no problems hitting and punching a woman hard enough to send her to the hospital, you probably won't have a problem doing it again and again.
What do you think? Are they getting back together? Would you? Is her career ruined if she does? Honestly, if she takes him back I think her career will suffer more than his. Right now he has no chance at a career for the next 10 years. But, if she takes him back, then people will think it is ok to like him and so then he might end up ok and it would be Rihanna who would have the backlash.
Posted by ent lawyer at 10:33 AM 31 comments
Labels: Chris Brown, Rihanna
I prefer to stick by the ideal that you don't lay your hands on a fucking person unless they touch you first, not just because they mouthed off.
But you know, I'm old fashioned like that.
Bottom line is that whatever Rihanna had been saying that was so fucking terrible, Chris Brown had the time to leave her and/or get some kind of anger management, but instead HE allowed it to get to the point of where he decided to not only hit her but strangle her.
Something tells me that a man of Chris Brown's ilk who left substantial bruising and injuries on Rihanna couldn't have felt THAT fucking threatened by her.
Boohoo.
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I'm not by any means saying that there are women out there who don't push around men. What I'm saying is that domestic abuse is largely (not entirely) a circumstance of male-instigated violence. This is a fact - not something I am making up to discredit Roseanne. Yes, there are men who are too taken aback to report the violence inflicted upon them, and for some (if not just as many or more) of those men there are women who also won't do the same. Either way, that is not the point I'm trying to make. I'm saying that Roseanne's implication that most domestic violence is instigated by women is way off the mark. That's all.
Heath...dude...chill. Abuse is a touchy subject and each person has their own viewpoint on it. To say there's not actually women out there that push a man to his breaking point is short sighted and just plain wrong. Does it make it right if the guy goes upside a woman's head because she's playing games and intentionally antagonizing him? No, but it happens and like it or not, there are women like that.
I think everyone needs to stop analyzing this bullshit and wondering if RiRi had it coming or if Chris Brown is just an abusive douche. We're never really going to know and nearly everyone (not here, but you know, in other place) commenting is just using this incident as a reason to spew more bullshit into an already bullshit saturated world.
@Heath,
Some women are very abusive towards men. It is under-reported because it challenges what men believe their role in life to be.
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it probably makes perfect sense to you b/c you have no academic knowledge of domestic abuse. even if you happen to have personal knowledge of domestic abuse, your story does not tell the story of most domestically abused women.
she made perfect sense to me. Is that wrong?
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O.M.G. honestly, I have read your blog for the past 3 years and LOVE you, but wtf. Roseanne was the BEST. She was one of the girls who spoke her mind and rebelled against the 80s sitcom "what a female should be" stereotypes, and was fucking funny! but seriously? this comment makes it seem like she believes girls instigate abuse. That girls egg it on, that when hit by a man it must be the girl's fault...seriously...domestic abuse is not a joke, she needs to check her facts (i.e. court documents, police reports, legal studies, social science studies, etc.) and realize that making a generalization like that is fucking ridiculous. Most studies show that girls do not initiate abuse, and when they do it is in response to previous verbal and/or physical abuse.
I still love roseanne, b/c she's funny as fuck, but that pissed me offfff!
oh gawd, are these rants the beginning of rosanne's comeback...i hope not...
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Write a comedy bit about it, if you still get work, Roseanne, or else STFU already.
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Whether or not that this is the case with Rihanna, Roseanne makes some good points. Much as I hate to admit it...
"shame based bullshit method that will never work" - love that
I think Roseanne makes an excellent point. Having spent years in counseling ..she must've absorbed a thing or two.
It may not be the same for ALL abusive relationships but it is certainly true for some.
Rosanne is clearly mentally ill.
Having "been there, done that" with this exact scenario, Roseanne, the Domestic Goddess, is correct in her assesment of the situation....you have to choose not to "play the game". This is so true. I grew up with a combative older brother. Survival becomes imperative and it can translate to other aspects of your life. Look in the mirror.
Maybe Chris and Rihanna can go on Judge Judy. That is, after they finish up their tussle over on Jerry Springer. Chris may be in danger of getting bitch slapped by Jerry's burly thuggish bouncer.
Wait a minute, I haven't watched Springer in years! Is that show even on anymore? That's ok, Lindsey Lohan can easily fill his shoes.
women who go back to men who have hit them are usually violent too--they escalate conflict by using verbal humiliation and often throw the first punch, but are then unable to withstand the strength of the man's counter attack.
Alot of guys hit women because the women are hitting them, verbally abusing them or throwing the keys to their car outside and goading them on, and they lose control of themselves.
That is exactly what I've been trying to say. Thanks for verbalizing it so well Roseanne. So true.
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These are merely her opinions. Just because she is a celebrity doesn't make her an expert on domestic violence.
Ok, why is she still talking about this? I love you, Roseanne, but really - mind your business.
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In a sad wierd way, I kinda understand what Roseanne is trying to say, although it kinda of comes off like she is saying "if you're gonna shell it out like a man, you better be able to take it like a man." I have a female best friend who is a very jealous, possessive, and crazy bitch when it comes to her man. Her man on the other hand is quiet, reserved, and drama free. This girl, yells, hits, and berates him whenever she gets mad and he just sits there and takes it. He is 6'2 and she is 5'4. I have told her repeatedly, there is going to be that one day where he will get tired of your BS and just might snap on your ass, so beware. Not that that is an excuse to hit a woman, but just because you have trust and daddy issues does not give you the right to hit on your man just because you know he isn't going to hit you back...this time. If two people are unable to have a fight without using thier hands, thier asses don't need to be in a relationship anyway.
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Submitted by Tubereuse on Wed, 02/18/2009 - 8:38pm.
Submitted by Lory on Wed, 02/18/2009 - 6:48pm.
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She shouldn't have taken her first statement back. Wuss.
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She did exactly the same thing around election time regarding Jon Voight (and his daughter?). JonBoy had said he'd vote for McCain and Angie-Ho
had said she was still undecided, so Roseanne blogged a bunch of caca about them and the next day took it back.
Roseanne is spineless.
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I'd totally forgotten about that. And to think I was all YAY yesterday because of her statement. UGH!
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Submitted by joe shmoe on Wed, 02/18/2009 - 8:57pm.
*choosing not to make lame umbrella-custody joke*
KeithG, eat a spam shaped dick up side down and let me watch. "LOL!"
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Submitted by Sheeps on Wed, 02/18/2009 - 8:49pm.
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Yeah, you're right, she can walk away if she wants to but some women in violent relationships *think* they're in love and are convinced they can change the person, that it's just a question of him controlling his anger, that if they just change their behaviour maybe they won't provoke him. In other words they delude themselves. Riri is one of the lucky ones who CAN walk away but she may choose not to, which would be supremely stupid.
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Seems I have seen this woman on some dating places yet, the ideal place to pick up women as far as i know is =====BIGBLACKCONNECT.COM=====! cute, hot , talented... whatever u can come up with...LOL
Submitted by joe shmoe on Wed, 02/18/2009 - 7:08pm.
Yeah, but RiRi has money, handlers, therapists, and lawyers. She certainly has no reason to hang around.
Submitted by pomegranate on Wed, 02/18/2009 - 8:35pm.
STFU dumbass...who the hell died and made her a f*cking expert on domestic violence? And just like Mizerly said at 6:00, Roseanne said she wanted to beat the crap out of Chris Brown for what he did...what a way to take a stand against violence. Talentless old cow.
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Uh oh. Roseanne has verbally abused Chris Brown! She has pushed his manly buttons!
So I guess if he pounds her ass, she was asking for it.
that's way more than i wanted to hear from Roseanne's brain
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Submitted by Lory on Wed, 02/18/2009 - 6:48pm.
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She shouldn't have taken her first statement back. Wuss.
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She did exactly the same thing around election time regarding Jon Voight (and his daughter?). JonBoy had said he'd vote for McCain and Angie-Ho
had said she was still undecided, so Roseanne blogged a bunch of caca about them and the next day took it back.
Roseanne is spineless.
STFU dumbass...who the hell died and made her a f*cking expert on domestic violence? And just like Mizerly said at 6:00, Roseanne said she wanted to beat the crap out of Chris Brown for what he did...what a way to take a stand against violence. Talentless old cow.