When Tranny Lizards Attack!!!!!!
When your name is Tori Spelling and you have a face that brings the barfs faster than (don't click on this) this video (don't), you shouldn't even think of saying shit like, "Do you know who I am?" Tori might as well have turned around, stuck her ass out and let the bitch stick his foot up her culo, because that's just asking for it. Tori reportedly almost said that shit last night when a security guard wouldn't let her into Christian Siriano's fashion show in NYC.
The Daily Mail says when Tori tried to slither in, the security guard asked her for an invitation and that's when she flipped her jaw. After a few seconds of Tori's pathetic freak-out, organizers came in and ushered the lizard lady into the show. They should've ushered her back under the garden rock she came from.
In the security guard's defense, he didn't get a good look at her, because his eyes quit that bitch as soon they gazed upon the fugly of all fuglies. You have to be prepared to deal with something like that and the fugly hit him too hard and too fast.
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Someone with a long blockhead like hers shouldn't be wearing heavy makeup like she is. It only draws more attention to how looooooooooong her head is. And why would we want to see her highlight her huge crazy bug eyes with all that black liner. Girlfriend needs to get right with her higher power and accept her true fugness. I must say that her knees look like she's doing a good bit of peen sucking. Maybe that's the only way her escort/husband will continue to make public appearances with her. Here's a happy Tori: http://www.freefunnypixs.com/data/media/1/baby_blowfish.jpg
Christ almighty. Between the horse head, the botched plastic surgery and the OTT weight loss, the woman looks T.E.R.R.I.B.L.E. Imagine going to bed with that every night, never mind waking up with it.
And now Tori is sucking an invisible giraffe dick or something...the animal keeps changing but the idea's burned into my mind.
♥ ThreadKilla!
"You blew it, Jack! And now you will never see the crazy underwears I have on!" "What kind of God would let that happen?" Salma and Alec: 30 Rock
I wonder if Tori Spelling likes it that we spent her entire thread talking about animal husbandry? I wonder how that makes "her people" feel? Ha.
♥ ThreadKilla!
"You blew it, Jack! And now you will never see the crazy underwears I have on!" "What kind of God would let that happen?" Salma and Alec: 30 Rock
Ooooooooo,she is too old and ugly, like a sorceress
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I recommend you a very interesting place ___C e l e b m i n g l e. C 0 M ____ It 's where you have the opportunity dreaming about dating a millionaire and make it true!
Submitted by boomsy on Fri, 02/20/2009 - 7:09pm.
I didn't listen, angel_i,
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*slaps self in the head*
Sorry, dude. My eyes roll so far back in my head thinking about it, it hurts. It's EVERYWHERE, this stuff...and the thing is, well it's like monsters...you KINDA wanna see one just to see if it's true...you don't REALLY wanna see it but you have to know, somehow...
♥ ThreadKilla!
"You blew it, Jack! And now you will never see the crazy underwears I have on!" "What kind of God would let that happen?" Salma and Alec: 30 Rock
SCREEEEEAAAAMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*slaps self in the head*
That's what you get for NOT reading the comments first.
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Know why they don't play Rock / Paper / Scissors / Pussy? Because NOTHING beats pussy! -- Toom Viltrax
That video was awful..but I always click the links...never know what you will find!
xoxoxoxox
Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
The ONLY thing fugger than her face are those titt-ays.
hi Michael,
i do love your website and visit daily. however, the dolphin vid is, quite frankly, animal abuse which is not cool. at the end of the vid, the camera pans to the dolphin's head and it looks like he was being restrained which is even sicker (and please, no one be sarcastic and say 'what head, ha ha).
i dunno if i'm going to visit your site anymore. i know this kind of stuff is all over the web but i just think it's wrong to link it in. call me a bitch, i don't care, i just think animal cruelty continues to exist because people laugh and consider it entertainment.
thank you.
It must be sad to be female and resemble your gremlin-looking dad so much.
oh...my god
in reference to the dolphin because I could give a shit about spelling
WHY MICHAEL?
I am in the same boat. One day I will listen and not click when told not to. I am just stunned. Ugh.
I saw someone else mention her dress, I swear I wore the same one, only slightly puffier, to my prom in the 80s.
I have a good understanding of facial plastic surgery, but what I never can figure out (I am surely naive, being from the Midwest)is how she got so damn skinny so fast! She didn't get this skinny between her kids--how did she do it this time? I really need to lose 5 pounds but not with illegal substances, and this chick loses a crapload in no time after child!
I didn't listen, angel_i, and I think I was more shocked by the fact that he was taking it like a pro. BTW, how do people FIND stuff like that? I would think it would be hidden on the internet or something, but people here seem to have no probs getting a hold of it...
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Love me or hate me
It's still an obsession
Love me or hate me
That is the question
And if you love me then 'thank you'
And if you hate me then 'f--- you'
Man - finally you guys stopped bombing that place and I got to see it. That was nothing compared to snowy's link. Don't click it. Trust. See how I'm already kinda dead inside?
♥ ThreadKilla!
"You blew it, Jack! And now you will never see the crazy underwears I have on!" "What kind of God would let that happen?" Salma and Alec: 30 Rock
One day when MK tells us not to click on a link I'll listen; unfortunately today was not that day...I'm speechless.
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Love me or hate me
It's still an obsession
Love me or hate me
That is the question
And if you love me then 'thank you'
And if you hate me then 'f--- you'
Oh how I wish I'd never clicked on that link.
I would have paid $20 to see her face when the guard said hell no you ain't getting in.
"..French Vanilla, Butter Pecan, Chocolate Deluxe, even Caramel sundaes is getting touched.." Ice Cream
well her face is always going to be fucked up, but at least it seems like she finally hired a decent stylist.
D:
Why did I click when he told me not to?
Hey snowpiece and TITS,
She looks the same to me as she did on 90210, only older, but what do I know? Her boobs look fake for sure, and she wears this brown makeup between them; that's ugh. I don't want to think about her clit. It probably doesn't have teeth, though, like Madonna's (I'm just guessing).
i'm so traumatized....i fucking clicked... where's my tylenol?
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i broke my cunt...lisa lampanelli
Stupid doorman -what do you mean you don't recognize her? Haven't you ever seen the Jack in the box bubble head on a car antennae before? They were quite popular back in the day.
Submitted by snowpiece on Fri, 02/20/2009 - 3:43pm.
this fug face has had TONS of work done to her face, tits, probably a clit reconstruction.
nothing helped
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one night we were trying to re-do her face to make it more .... normal.
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A false eyelash should be like a secret abortion: discrete, so as not to attract Christian rage. - Ziggy S
Submitted by Tubereuse on Fri, 02/20/2009 - 3:41pm.
I also like (speaking of Frankenstein) that unlike J.Low, Vadge, Angie.Ho, Demi, Katiebot, etc., etc., she hasn't had her face cut up for beauty. Going under the knife multiple times is what is truly fug, imo.
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this fug face has had TONS of work done to her face, tits, probably a clit reconstruction.
nothing helped
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"why is there a dead Pakistani on my couch"!?!
She should have been fighting the guards to flee the venue as quickly as possible before anyone saw her in that prom dress travesty.
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The line between sex and society is so fine and blurred... even Amy Winehouse wouldn't snort it.
http://www.myspace.com/triston
Submitted by TITS on Fri, 02/20/2009 - 2:11pm.
I know she can't help being ugly, but she could have stayed home.
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LMAO and wiping tears away!!
I really enjoyed her VH1 sitcom So NoTORIous. It was good. Supposedly, because she made fun of her psrents in it, she only inherited $800,000 instead of 1/3 of 500 million. I like her for not caving to the pressure from her parents to be their created property ala Frankenstein's monster, and instead, she made the show she wanted. That takes balls. I also like (speaking of Frankenstein) that unlike J.Low, Vadge, Angie.Ho, Demi, Katiebot, etc., etc., she hasn't had her face cut up for beauty. Going under the knife multiple times is what is truly fug, imo.
Oh my god, that video... *head explodes like Stoney's in the Octopussy thread*
Yeah, gotta go lie down now...
Any self-respecting lizard or tranny would be deeply offended by this comparison.
I'm just deeply offended by that viciously ugly head and all its malformed, unfortunately located features.
Ugh... this has been gross enough. I won't click on that link!
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For the love of all that is hairy, WHY DOES ANYONE CARE ABOUT THIS TWATWAFFLE??????? --Sugaroo
something to cleanse your pallets:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=akyJYeBVbuM
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
A false eyelash should be like a secret abortion: discrete, so as not to attract Christian rage. - Ziggy S
Submitted by jiggywiddit on Fri, 02/20/2009 - 2:14pm.
I refrained from clicking on the link. Did you?
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I clicked and saw the other titles of vids and knew I should exit tout sweet!
Plus another trick is to wait and read the comments of others who are braver than me.
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A false eyelash should be like a secret abortion: discrete, so as not to attract Christian rage. - Ziggy S
She has an unfortunate head.
What's funny is Tori actually reminds me of those Australian Frilled Lizards who fan out the flaps on the sides of their head and run through the desert on the hind legs. You know which lizards I mean. http://www.worldbook.com/wb/Students?content_spotlight/reptiles/type_liz...
Submitted by notafinger on Fri, 02/20/2009 - 2:00pm.
Crap. Ok, the girl ain't pretty. But seriously, she seems cool. She's been through a lot in her life. Give the bitch a break.
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What the fuck has bitch been through all her life? Having to suffer through being the richest little girl in Hollywood? Getting to spend her childhood on some of the hottest shows of the 70s/80s becuase her Daddy produced them? Partying her way through the 90s because of another of Daddy's shows? Stealing another woman's husbad? Yeah - she's had it baaad.
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"I'm sorry, we've already cast the jealous and bitter lonely old queen role" - Lily Allen, on Perez's hopes of being in her vid
http://www.myspace.com/luscious_t_999
MK you really do desensitize me to the grossly obscene more and more every day I read this site...
BeWEAVE it!
OH MY GOD - WHY DID I CLICK THAT LINK?!?!?!?! AAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!~~~~~~~
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"I'm sorry, we've already cast the jealous and bitter lonely old queen role" - Lily Allen, on Perez's hopes of being in her vid
http://www.myspace.com/luscious_t_999
Dolphin/human relations??? no, no, no...not Flipper
Submitted by Flatsy on Fri, 02/20/2009 - 2:10pm.
Flatsy, we'll never be able to think of chocolate chip cookies the same!
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
I am not clicking on that shit.
Anyway, looking at Tori's puke-a-tronic face is nausea enough for me. It's too early even for THAT. Pleh
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Guess what? I like pancakes!
Submitted by TITS on Fri, 02/20/2009 - 2:11pm.
I refrained from clicking on the link. Did you?
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"I invested a lot of money into this wig, and it saved my life."--Briana Bond
Hahahaha!! I love it when MK posts pictures up here that make me crack up without even reading yet. The title and the main photo absolutely crack me up.
I know she can't help being ugly, but she could have stayed home.
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A false eyelash should be like a secret abortion: discrete, so as not to attract Christian rage. - Ziggy S
Deb, you nailed it. She looks just like the cookie - with the big googly side eyes.
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She's flat and that's that!
Crap. Ok, the girl ain't pretty. But seriously, she seems cool. She's been through a lot in her life. Give the bitch a break.
Submitted by Flatsy on Fri, 02/20/2009 - 1:06pm.
Thanks Flatsy! Somehow I pictured the cookie was more walleyed like Tori.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
@Goyo: Stop the spamming!! You suck.
That is the worst fucking video ever.
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"Tony Romo fucks fat chicks!"-Scott Ferrall
Torzilla, Torzilla. She does look like Godzilla little sister.