Friday, February 20th 2009
Drunkblogging The Oscars!
It's that time of year again where the skanks of Hollywood squeeze their egos into sparkly satin and we all make fun of their stupid asses while getting tanked. Weeeeee! And I'll be here this Sunday starting at 8pm easy coast time, so that we can all hold hands and feel the torture together. It's going to be a million hours of non-stop ass fuckery (hosted by Hugh Jackman, naturally), so bring a comfortable dildo.
I feel like we need some kind of drinking game. How about we drink one McNuggetini every time St. Angie Jo makes a cuntface and whoever gets rushed to the emergency room last WINS! Yay!
Click here to refresh your ass on who is nominated this year. SPOILER ALERT: Brangelina lose again. AHAHAHAHA!
Image: Pacific Coast News
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These people make $20 million per picture (the A listers do at least), get free gifts, uber ass-kissing, free food, etc. It's ridiculous! They play dress-up and make-believe like most 5 year old's do. It's not rocket science, they aren't finding the cure for cancer. Why are these vapid, self-absorbed assholes so important? Makes me sick. It would be great if everyone would stop going to the movies for 1 month and see what would happen. Watch these cunts shit in their pants.
Well it would be fun to go to a Mom group outing and have them ask...oooooo your clothes are sooooo soft. Whatever do you use? Soapy Nuts!!
Shout out to MK if you ever open this thread again and actually read it...not holding breath here...but...before you start blogging we all HAVE to know:
WHAT are YOU wearing and who made it??? And we mean the clothing, not the jizzjuice. lmao
“What I can’t believe is that I actually feel better after washing my clothes with Soap Nuts!” Joe Tucson, AZ
@hoozer:
If you get past the lame packaging and cheesy testimonials (and at the risk of sounding like another one); the soap nuts (dried soap berries) are actually really effective, and can even be re-used a few times. You put them in a little linen pouch they provide and just toss right in with the clothes.
Yeah, I'm a geek, but these really work.
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For the love of all that is hairy, WHY DOES ANYONE CARE ABOUT THIS TWATWAFFLE??????? --Sugaroo
He looks like Lisa McPhersons autopsy photo here.
(Scientology victim) How can hot look so bad when in full flight?
Submitted by kikichanelconspiracy on Sat, 02/21/2009 - 10:21am.
"for me, if the couple in front of me weren't making out heavily during The Dark Knight, i think i would've enjoyed the movie more."
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At least when I went to the theater to see "Elizabeth", the amorous attention-whore duo was polite enough to screw semi-quietly in the back row.
Submitted by someone on Sat, 02/21/2009 - 6:12am.
I want to watch to see how much better Jennifer will look than skankalina
Maniston vs. Mangelina skanky beatdown on Oscar night!
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Ok,stop puffing the magic dragon.
Ok. So they are real things. lol. Interesting...yeah...does look like that Buddha is sitting atop a pile of soap nuts. lol
http://www.naturalnews.com/021875.html
“What I can’t believe is that I actually feel better after washing my clothes with Soap Nuts!” Joe Tucson, AZ
I am wondering what drug would be delivered to my door if I put in an order for soap nuts. I'm too chicken to order and find out.
“What I can’t believe is that I actually feel better after washing my clothes with Soap Nuts!” Joe Tucson, AZ
Eh, don't feel bad Rich Bitch. I love Kate Winslet, but I want her to lose like you wouldn't believe. I saw 'The Reader' and screw that incoherent, Nazi-apologist piece of dung. And fuck Harvey Weinstein, too. I feel a vote for a Kate is a vote for Harvey Weinstein. I'm sure she'll win, though.
" for me, if the couple in front of me weren't making out heavily during The Dark Knight, i think i would've enjoyed the movie more."
Damn! How rude! You'd think they would've had the courtesy to stay in the back row of the theatre like other people that go to the movies just to make out.
"for me, i thought Phillip Seymour Hoffman deserves the award. have you seen Doubt?" I haven't seen 'Doubt' because I only saw bad reviews for it, but I might given my mad PSH love. He never disappoints. I've loved him ever since 'The Talented Mr. Ripley'. I thought his bit part as Dickie's (Jude Law) friend was the best part of the movie. "How's the peeping *pause* Tommy?"
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I wish it was like the 70's and it was still ok to kick someone's ass. Damn
Submitted by hoozer on Sat, 02/21/2009 - 9:08am.
if you hadn't used that quote from joe as your siggie, I woulda scooped it up.
That whole ad struck me as highlarious!!
What's worse is the packaging. It makes the buddha person look like he is sitting on a pile of poop nuggets. It does seem disrespectful. LOL.
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"I invested a lot of money into this wig, and it saved my life."--Briana Bond
Mornin jiggy! Oh I'm fine. No hangover. google.com natural detergents (I have allergies) soap nuts came up and I was like wtf are soap nuts?? lol...
“What I can’t believe is that I actually feel better after washing my clothes with Soap Nuts!” Joe Tucson, AZ
Submitted by hoozer on Sat, 02/21/2009 - 3:56am.
LOL. hoozer, you are some kinda freak. How did you find this ad???
Granted you are prolly sleeping off your lean, but we have got to discuss the nuts sometime soon.
Holla!
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"I invested a lot of money into this wig, and it saved my life."--Briana Bond
Submitted by carefreea on Fri, 02/20/2009 - 5:31pm.
I'd love to join in the drinking on Sunday but for the time difference and the fact I don't have the channel it'll be broadcast on. I'll raise a glass or ten tomorrow night though hehe.
Me too. We can watch the red carpet at 11pm before it goes to the channel that I would not pay for either, so we can at least have a laugh at whatever pile of shite Brange is wearing and have a drink for every 'loving look'.
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I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it. (Groucho Marx)
I want to watch to see how much better Jennifer will look than skankalina, and how much pda we will see out of Pittstain and whorelina, to prove how happy they are....I doubt AJ will win anything...Pitt....maybe..but I doubt that too.
Wow, he is so sexy!!!!
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I recommend you a very interesting place ___C e l e b m i n g l e. C 0 M ____ It 's where you have the opportunity dreaming about dating a millionaire and make it true!
DYING laughing again. Changing sig...gotta love being drunk with your computer...
“What I can’t believe is that I actually feel better after washing my clothes with Soap Nuts!” Joe Tucson, AZ
lol. Thanks M.E.!
So here are the things you find darunk at 3:30am on Saturday. I'm passing these on to you dlisters. Your swag for the Oscars. No one else can swagger like us.
www.maggiespureland.com
Enjoy yer soap nuts! Someone could tell me this is for real and I'm not just so drunk my mind is making this shit up??
M.K. love your blow by blow of the awards show. I'll be here because it's all I could do to sit through a boring show.
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"What don't you fucking understand"?
-Christian Bale
I love it when MK does the blow by blow!! I'll be here with bells on, and lots of cocktails!!
Ah! Oscar night! Mickey Rooney still looking for his long lost love Judy Garland..oh wait I think I see her...right over there.
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Ok,stop puffing the magic dragon.
WTF, Michael K, you don't wear your feathered boa on Oscar nite? I do!It's the 1 nite of the year I wait with breathless anticipation...not necessarily for the Awards but 2c what the stars wear while on the red carpet.
Submitted by TITS on Fri, 02/20/2009 - 10:04pm.
It's not even worth photoshopping a penis half in his mouth. Most of the work has already been done.
lol...too funny...wait...I wanna see...
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the end...
tee hee hee... this pic makes me giggle...
~~~<3~~~<3~~~<3~~~<3~~~<3~~~<3~~~<3~~~<3~~~<3~~~
The Early Bird gets the worm but the Second Mouse gets the cheese.
Submitted by TITS on Fri, 02/20/2009 - 10:04pm.
It's not even worth photoshopping a penis half in his mouth. Most of the work has already been done.
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Just Google his drivers license photo. Work is completely done.
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
OSCAR nite, I can't wait! *eveeel laugh HAHAHA*
take a drink every time someone says something political during thier acceptance speech..;>
@@@@:-)......
http://www.bibliomania.com/0/0/42/81/frameset.html
It's not even worth photoshopping a penis half in his mouth. Most of the work has already been done.
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
A false eyelash should be like a secret abortion: discrete, so as not to attract Christian rage. - Ziggy S
Could you imagine Johnny Depp as Joker? Or RDJ?
Would've been just as good I think.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=41APzy5kqBU
OMG so fucking happy you are live blogging this mk! It's going to be fucking awesome! I am so getting my drank on :-)
Submitted by Miss Thang on Fri, 02/20/2009 - 9:35pm.
Very true. As should M-Phelps.
Submitted by Sheeps on Fri, 02/20/2009 - 9:33pm.
CB should thank his lucky fuckin stars that another CB fucked up.
HAVE SOME DUMBASS WATER. - Charles Manson!
Submitted by madam s. on Fri, 02/20/2009 - 9:29pm.
I know.... Me too. CB needs to be grilled (for my entertainment). A call-in to Kevin & Bean is hardly enough penance.
Submitted by mike on Fri, 02/20/2009 - 9:31pm.
LOL @ lukewarm milk, have you tried it with Oreos?
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
madam s and sheeps. I guess I was...looking at the light.
HAVE SOME DUMBASS WATER. - Charles Manson!
I was lukewarm on Milk, but I thought Sean Penn was fantastic in it. If Sean Penn can seem like a nice, likeable guy, that's some damn fine acting.
lmao madam s and sheeps. silly.
HAVE SOME DUMBASS WATER. - Charles Manson!
oh yeah I wanna see Milk too. But Slumdog and Doubt are next on my list. I'm way late on these shits. I always am :/
HAVE SOME DUMBASS WATER. - Charles Manson!
Sheeps,
That is forever trapped in my head. I watched "3:10 to Yuma" recently, and all I could do the whole time is sing "WHAT DON'T YOU FUCKING UNDERSTAND?" to the dance beat version. Upsetting.
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Fri, 02/20/2009 - 9:24pm.
I tried to sit through "Milk", but it turns out I'm lactose intolerant.
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i slept when Sean Penn was trying out the new suit and kissed James Franco. the next thing i knew, the credit was already rolling.
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i haven't committed a crime.
what i did was fail to comply with the law.
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Submitted by Miss Thang on Fri, 02/20/2009 - 9:18pm.
Dark Knight sucked ass mostly because of Christian Bale's disapointing performance. I literally could NOT understand half of what he said in that shit!
What don't you fucking understand?
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Fri, 02/20/2009 - 9:24pm.
I tried to sit through "Milk", but it turns out I'm lactose intolerant.
With that and the Socks comment, you're on a roll tonight, man.
Submitted by bambam on Fri, 02/20/2009 - 9:16pm.
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i know what you mean. they were using the Spiderman formula to make the superhero looked vulnerable. for me, if the couple in front of me weren't making out heavily during The Dark Knight, i think i would've enjoyed the movie more.
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i haven't committed a crime.
what i did was fail to comply with the law.
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bambam,
I understand the point of attempting to make the film more realistic and dark, and I can appreciate that, but they failed on every level to bring anything to the table that was of quality. I think my using the term "comic strip-stylized" could be misleading as to what my aesthetic expectations were.
I tried to sit through "Milk", but it turns out I'm lactose intolerant.
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
bambam: that is precisely why I enjoyed Ledger's Joker so much. I loved that he played the REAL joker, a psychopath murderer. I really got into his scenes. :/
HAVE SOME DUMBASS WATER. - Charles Manson!
Submitted by Miss Thang on Fri, 02/20/2009 - 9:18pm.
For real! I never understood a word out of his mouth until he cursed out that lighting guy. I know Batman is supposed to be portrayed as having psychological problems, but a speech impediment too?
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
Submitted by RichBitch on Fri, 02/20/2009 - 9:12pm.
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i know what you mean. i can't believe they left 'Doubt' out of Best Picture. it's worth 10x more than Benjamin Button. despite the raves, i still can't see the appeal.
Submitted by Sheeps on Fri, 02/20/2009 - 9:13pm.
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i think it'll be a top-hatted dance number.
anything is possible i guess.
http://justjared.buzznet.com/2009/02/18/hugh-jackman-oscars-rehearsals/
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i haven't committed a crime.
what i did was fail to comply with the law.
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Dark Knight sucked ass mostly because of Christian Bale's disapointing performance. I literally could NOT understand half of what he said in that shit! Sux cuz I love Batman too. My favorite super hero. humph!
HAVE SOME DUMBASS WATER. - Charles Manson!
Ladies, I know I won't change minds here but what they were trying to do was make Batman more realistic instead of being comic bookish. It's why they went to the trouble explaining how Batman got his fighting skills and where he gets his equipment.
I also think the reason everyone went ga ga over Heath Ledger is because his version of the Joker was nothing like Jack Nicholson's or Cesar Romero's (TV Batman). Those versions were all cartoony and comic.
Ledger's version of the Joker has been around for years in the comics, more deadly, seriously pyschotic. He just brought that version to the screen, he didn't really add anything to it.
There's no comparison to the other Joker versions, except in the public's eye because the public doesn't read comics.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=41APzy5kqBU
I couldn't even get halfway through Dark Knight, though that didn't surprise me.
Frankly, I think it would be a disservice to Ledger's memory if he won. An award for appearing as a grotesque in an otherwise mind-numbingly dull piece of middle-brow pap is no real prize.
Submitted by korupsi on Fri, 02/20/2009 - 9:11pm.
anyone know Hugh Jackman is going to sing at the Oscar with Pretty Zac? fuckery epic indeed.
No way... I figured a top-hatted dance number.