The Virgin Got Married!
Victoria's Secret model and the "world's most voluptuous virgin" (by GQ), Adriana Lima, eloped with NBA player Marko Jaric on Valentine's Day in Jackson Hole (heh), Wyoming. Adriana and Marko have NOT been sexing it up with each other since 2006.
Adriana claimed last year or so that she was still a virgin, but this chick dated Lenny Kravitz. Even if he didn't stick it in, Lenny can melt cherries just by touch. So if she even hugged Lenny, the ho ain't a virgin anymore. This is a scientific fact. There was a special on the Discovery Channel about it or something.
Adriana announced the news on her MySpace and also addressed the rumors that she might be knocked up:
By this point, some people know about my big news! Yes, I like to keep my life personal but I did become married on Valentine Day to the love of my life. I am SO happy inside and I want to spread my love!The marriage was very small and not most friends and family could attend because it was a quick decision. Luckily, we will be having another wedding this summer that will be a bigger event!
We have not decided where it will be because my family is in Brasil and Marko is from Serbia. It will be great no matter where!
And finally, there are rumors of me pregnant. I just cannot say.. YET!
Happy on the inside and wants to spread her love? SLUT! Bitch is totally knocked up. I don't blame her ass. Look at that hot piece. Yes, ole boy is a little crossy in the eyeball area, but he looks like he has prime long peen. That's what my peendar says anyway. The only problem is that he probably has trouble finding the hole, because his wonk eyes keep directing him in different directions. One eye tells him to go east and the other tells him to go west. If Adriana stays on top that shit is probably good.
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GRRRRRRRRRRRRREAT. keep her away from my man. LKravitz was/is? celibate, so she may be telling the truth about not bumping nasties.
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I dont think, I drink.
She didn't marry him for his looks. Dude is super fugly with those freaky cross eyes. EEWW some bitches would settle for anyone. If she's a virgin than I'll eat a shoe haha. Lets hope she married him for his $ & his gigantic peen.
Man, this guy has the smallest eyes I´ve ever seen! So ugly, so lucky. Whatever.
His eyes are creeping James Haven out!
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See James Haven in an Oscar winning performance!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w9cKFiCrSU
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Might not be her, but I knew I'd heard the rumor.
http://bumpshack.com/2008/01/05/brazilian-supermodel-adriana-lima-celeb-...
"To alcohol! The cause of and solution to all of life's problems!"-
LMAO at the dude's beady eyes. I would have exactly the same look on my face if I was banging the Goddess Adriana. Congrats. Love you, Adriana!!!
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"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
Submitted by Mistress Mandy on Tue, 02/24/2009 - 4:36pm.>/cite>
I'm pretty sure I saw in an interview with her after her GQ article that she didn't say that she was a virgin, something got messed up in the translation or taken out of context by accident.
Yes, I've seen it too. The clarification though is also in Italian or some foreign language and therefore, since it's not in English, is totally irrelevant to all Americans. Not to mention that even if it were retracted in English, people would ignore it because people hear what people want and GQ wants their male followers to fantasize about a sexy virgin. Not a girl that has probably had sex with various partners. They did it to Britney, they did it to Adriana, and they'll keep doing it.
@ MMandy
She said she liked Sturgeon.
Submitted by Deputy Trudy Wiegel on Tue, 02/24/2009 - 9:04am.
Bet he needs only one goggle when he goes swimming in his pool.
I think I just peed myself laughing at that one.
Quickie wedding + More extravagant ceremony/gift grab planned for later = Pregnant.
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Best Supporting Actor, Bitches!
Jesus fucking hell! Those eyes?!
He needs a make up lesson from Eddie Izzard!!
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
A false eyelash should be like a secret abortion: discrete, so as not to attract Christian rage. - Ziggy S
I'm pretty sure I saw in an interview with her after her GQ article that she didn't say that she was a virgin, something got messed up in the translation or taken out of context by accident.
Too bad I can't find it though.
Horse hung does not make up for his wanky face...WTF is up with his eyes?? Creepy as all hell. Of course she is knocked up, she is a celeb isnt she? It goes without saying. I am shocked there are still some "old fashioned" celebs out there willing to marry when they are knocked up & not just play pretend married by living together. I am guessing she just found out about being pregnant & is waiting until she is 3 months along to really announce it, big whoop!
I can't see the attraction. Maybe if he wore sunglasses 24/7...
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The attraction is he's an NBA player.
What I'd like to know is what's his attraction to her, besides her looks?
Submitted by CandyPerfumeGirl on Tue, 02/24/2009 - 2:41pm.
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Not all virgins are completely prudes, you know.
........
Fer sure maybe, fer sure not, fer sure eh, fer sure bomb...
Submitted by Keane on Sun, 12/14/2008 - 3:41pm.
If only his mind was as quick as his reflexes, the world would be a much safer place.
His eyes are too close together and too small.
how can you BECOME married? Dumb bitch. And virgin? Looking like that? After dating Lenny Kravitz? Yeah right...
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"Charlie you fucking bitch, let's work it out" - High Fidelity
He does indeed look like he's packing heat.
Peendar!! I'm totally stealing that one.
Now that she's not a virgin, there's NO WAY Liam Neeson is going to save her sorry ass.
I can't believe she married that ugly loser.
She claimed to NOT have a myspace page and she definintely does NOT have a sex tape.
Ewwwwwww. He's so ugly.
Swear to god I saw her in a sex tape. But I suppose it could be a look alike. I doubt she was a virgin, but who really cares about someone else's virginity anymore?
"To alcohol! The cause of and solution to all of life's problems!"-
gee how can you marry someone without knowing if you will be compatible in the sack?...it seems like such an old-fashioned dumb gamble. Sometimes love just ain't enough so don't give me the crap that sex isn't everything in a relationship...if that doesn't work you know they are doomed no matter how much they "love" each other...might as well be friends. Blah!
My cupcakes are moist and delicious...everyone LOVES my cupcakes - Dorothy Zbornak
Dude looks like Noah Wyle but this chick is a class act..you go girl!
xoxoxoxox
Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
Submitted by sjxylib on Tue, 02/24/2009 - 11:05am.
::saddlebacking::
My New Word of the Day. Thanks. It's from Rick Warren's Saddleback Church. Too funny.
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The only thing worse than public censure is public praise.
::saddlebacking::
I guess I'm not alone in thinking that~ lol
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~in need of something clever here~
http://www.myspace.com/luscious_t_999
That man's eyes are bizarrely close set.
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~in need of something clever here~
http://www.myspace.com/luscious_t_999
I'm sure she's the Miley Cyrus "God made me do it" type of "virgin".
I am reminded of a joke, the punchline of said joke is...
C D B D I's.
And...
Getting drilled in the ass, and giving head really is SEX, like it or not.
She's gonna be in a a BIG surprise on her wedding night. She's never had the peen before and decides to marry someone who is horse-hung. I feel bad for the maid cleaning the sheets the next day.
if she really was a 26-year-old virgin, then i must be the reincarnation of Mother Teresa.
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i'm contractually required to mention Brangeloonies
five times during the show.
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Good morning!
If she played "Just The Tip" does that mean she's still a virgin?
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Try the Cardiologist's diet: if it tastes good, spit it out.
Both have wonky eyes.Maybe the baby will cancel out the wonkiness and be perfect.Did'nt she date Derek Jeter too? Jete's don't play that virgin crap.I know he gave it a good speed baggin'.Hope Jaric has family money...or another job lined up.He's on the end of the bench in Memphis.Just barely in the league.Hell...the clubhouse attendant probably has a hotter girlfriend.
Is he cross-eyed? Maybe he sees two of her when he looks at her?
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Bolloxology
she is a dumb, dumb!!!!
She never had other cocks before, to taste her, fuck her, knowing what an orgasm should feel like. Kissing other men jus having fun. Now all of a sudden she is stuck with one cock. I give her two years.
Please Mr. Francis Ford Coppola, make a Godfather part 4 with Talia Shire as the Godfather and Kay finally with the program.
This: "If you transposed his face on hers, his eyes would be in the middle of her eyes" almost made me spit coffee all over my desk.
PS A real virgin doesn't announce it to the world,
Why the hell would I tell magazines that im a virgin? unless she wants her daddy to believe her? or to spark more interest on her?
Frankly my dear, I don't give a Damn!! "Rhett Butler"
they both have speshul eyes, can't wait to see their baby, it will look like Miley Cyrus in that infamous photo. Her voice is sooo freaking annoying. I get that she's sexy but she very annoying.
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"why is there a dead Pakistani on my couch"!?!
I'm gonna need to see medical proof, with photos, before I believe she was a 26-year-old virgin underwears model. But close-set-eyes Marko fell for it.
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The only thing worse than public censure is public praise.
"Yes, ole boy is a little crossy in the eyeball area, but he looks like he has prime long peen"
MK you are the funniest EVAH!!!!♥♥♥♥
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"why is there a dead Pakistani on my couch"!?!
He looks like a mouse.
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The guy is actually one of the top international basketball players, and comes from a family of intellectuals. He could have done much, much better than Adrianna (who is no virgin), BUT I will say this for her - she's one of the sweetest persons, and genuinely nice.
I wouldn't mate with someone whose eyes are less than an inch apart.
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
http://www.myspace.com/rainbowsrule
One, two Brit Brit's coming for you
three, four lock your chillun's doors
five, six she needs her Cheetos fix
seven, eight she dropped her Frap bloat weight
nine, ten her weave looks beat again
I don't think either of them are attraction, and I definitely don't think the bons mots will be flying and deep conversations lasting late into the evenings in that house.
Good morning IG! I don't think they baby stands a chance. Adriana might have a girl who is 7 ft. tall with some jacked up peepers.
He kinda looks like Keanu Reeves' taller, more speshul brother.
am I alone in thinking this sounds like the bitch got knocked up and had a shotgun wedding?
http://thevinylvillage.wordpress.com
Shotgun wedding. Baby announcement in 3, 2,1....
I bet if a mule kicked him in the head, his eyes would uncross.
Being rearended for years, and getting on your knees between those times, does not make a virgin. It does, however, mean that now you ask for conventional sex the guy will lose interest and dump you. Well played.
Nanners,
Spot on! Much improved with sunglasses.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/27616184@N02/2673470539/
Anywhore....She may have been a virgie, but Marco wasn't. LBJ made him his bitch whenever he came to Cleveland.
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He reminds me of a hamster, or some other small rodent.