What Is The Meaning Of This?!

I'm in L.A. now, so just give me the signal and I'll run through Warner Bros. studio screaming like a mad bitch asking them to stop the fucking madness! Stop it before more people's childhood memories are destroyed!!!! They are planning to remake the fucking NeverEnding Story! Does Falkor have a face that looks like it wants to be remade. It is perfect in every way already.

My 5-year-old self wants to come back and slap a whore or fifty. This has fucking ruined my day.

So, yeah, The Hollywood Reporter (via Coming Soon) says WB is in early stages to remake the 1980s classic that changed lives! Okay, it felt like that back then. WB plans to give it a modern twist. Let's all call up Warner Bros. and ask them how it feels to kill something beautiful. Because that's what they are doing! This is shit. You know they are going to get the Trannycat Dolls to cover the theme song. Lucifer, no. I just gave them an idea. WHY?! That is seriously one of my favorite songs of all-time and forever. If you ever need to feel gay, play that shit.

On a positive note, Kim from The Really Broke Housewives of Atlanta will be able to pay her website bill soon. Her broke down dog wig is a LOCK for the role of Falkor.

Please watch this clip below of Kids Inc. singing one of the greatest songs of all time. I'm looking to Martika for answers as to why this is happening. Give me answers, Martika!

Posted by: Michael K

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Submitted by Zappy on Sun, 03/01/2009 - 2:57pm.

@ safinak

Remakes in general are sucky. It's all about the special effects which are in itself amazing compared to the stuff of last century. But nothing can compare to Gene Barry in the Original War of the Worlds or Robert Taylor in the Time Machine (did they remake that?) Do love remake of The Blob and The Thing though.

Give me the acting of the old days (even if some of them were really bad it's all about the idea, the suspense the whole concept)

Anyone ever see 'Carnival of Souls' one of the old black and whites they used to play on Saturday afternoon 'Chillerrrrrrr Theaterrrrrrr'

Submitted by safinak on Sun, 03/01/2009 - 2:49pm.

i've always been the only one of my friends to know the words to this crap song and i like it that way.

doesn't anyone realize that the remake will bomb? no matter how much cgi you put in, it will never compare.

but i guess dwayne johnson didn't get this memo when he decided to remake escape to witch mountain. without that asian guy and his awesome van, that movie can only eat shit.

Submitted by Noelegy on Sat, 02/28/2009 - 11:41am.

The world is going to hell in a handbasket if they are seriously going to remake "The Neverending Story." Some things just need to be left alone, dammit. I know what's happening: the kids who grew up with that movie are now adults who think they can somehow improve on it. DO NOT.

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Did I dream this belief or did I believe this dream?
--Peter Gabriel

Submitted by Cheeky LiL Ape on Fri, 02/27/2009 - 2:23pm.

HOLY SHIT! I FUCKING LOVE YOU MK!! I USED TO WATCH KIDS INC. RELIGIOUSLY WHEN I WAS YOUNGER.. I HAVENT SEEN ANY OF THAT SHIT IN YEARS! (im very easily excitable) AHH THANKS MK, DLISTED IS ALWAYS GOOD FOR A BLAST FROM THE PAST! Ohh and On Topic - I'm sooo SICK of all the 80's remakes..what happened to people having original ideas?? All these butchered "remakes" are making me sad with their teeny bopper-izing..

Submitted by misskitty on Fri, 02/27/2009 - 9:44am.

I really cannot take much more of this. First I find out they are re-making Clue, and now the Neverending Story? Seriously, do they have writers in Hollywood? Or can they just not afford good writers with original ideas because they have to pay so-so actors their over-inflated salaries just to get a movie made? What is it about Hollywood's obssesion with re-making perfectly good movies? Remember when they re-made Sabrina? Why, for the love of God, why?!?!?!? Leave the Neverending Story alone!

"Lane, I have been going to this high school for 7 years. I'm no dummy."

Submitted by LittleMsFortune on Fri, 02/27/2009 - 6:57am.

Ugh... words cannot even begin to express the sadness this brings to my heart!! I have come to terms with franchise additions (ie. Terminator, Indiana Jones) and may be able to accept the Candyland movie but this is unacceptable!!
Apparently this Hollywood fuckery will continue until every last happy memory has been destroyed! They will stop at nothing; our precious Dark Crystals, Last Unicorns, Santa Claus The Movies, UHFs, Spaceballs, Annies and PeeWees Big Adventures are doomed- I fear not even Rainbow Brite is safe.
From now on, anyone who tries to remake a sacred movie of any kind must be assassinated... you have been warned!!

Submitted by angel_i on Fri, 02/27/2009 - 12:21am.

Submitted by dkit on Fri, 02/27/2009 - 1:19am.

I just made a Facebook group since I read this here... I also plan to fire bomb Warner Bros. Who's with me?!?!
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ME! Just tell me where to aim, dude!

♥ ThreadKilla!
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FUCK YOU, WMG!!!

Submitted by dkit on Fri, 02/27/2009 - 12:19am.

I just made a Facebook group since I read this here... I also plan to fire bomb Warner Bros. Who's with me?!?!

Join "Stop The Neverending Story Remake"

http://spikevicious.blogspot.com - dumb movie reviews that make no sense.

Submitted by jkgroves on Thu, 02/26/2009 - 10:52pm.

Ugh! First, Nightmare on Elm Street, now this...were you not in looooooove with Atreyu?? See: Atreyu circa 2009: Rafa Nadal!!!

Submitted by DonkeyPunched on Thu, 02/26/2009 - 9:46pm.

I WILL STAND FOR THIS FUCKERY!!!!!

THIS MOVIE IS ONE OF THE CORNERSTONES OF MY CHILDHOOD!!!!!

WHY LORD WHY!!!!!?!?!?!?!

Submitted by Penny_Dreadful on Thu, 02/26/2009 - 9:19pm.

Submitted by EvilShoe on Thu, 02/26/2009 - 12:27pm.

Email these twats, I just did.

http://www.warnerbros.com/main/help/customer_service.html

Hmm. I see a long list of topics from which to choose, yet, somehow, "You Suck" is not one of them.

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People suck, and then, you die. Might as well get as much chocolate along the way as you can.

Submitted by Penny_Dreadful on Thu, 02/26/2009 - 9:02pm.

Shit like this is why I go to the cinema about once every five years.

I'm kind of not surprised about this, since I read this a while back:

http://consumerist.com/5110032/bottom-falls-out-of-movie-market.

But that doesn't mean that I'm not nautious (dammit, I can never spell that word!) with rage.

There was another movie I loved ridiculously when I was little that I found out a few weeks ago is being subjected to a remake, but I can't remember now to save my worthless little life which one it was. (And it's making me nuts now!) When I read about it, my body did that weird thing where it converts my blood to refrigerator coolant, and I froze from the inside out in terror.

Took three days to thaw me out.

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People suck, and then, you die. Might as well get as much chocolate along the way as you can.

Submitted by jussayin on Thu, 02/26/2009 - 8:14pm.

well so far just about everything they have called themselves "remaking" has sucked ass....like Bionic Woman, Knight Rider....

I would not even begin to want anyone to touch Wizard of Oz...

A remake may work if the previous version sucks and wasn't popular.

Or maybe if you put Johnny Depp in it.....

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you would have to get better to be crazy....

Submitted by Hermetically Sealed on Thu, 02/26/2009 - 8:08pm.

Um . . . you all do realize that the movie wasn't an original story, right? It was based on a German novel (of which there has already been several versions done; A tv series, a mini series, a ballet, opera, and a play). This is no different than Lord of the Rings, Narnia or Wizard of Oz, of which there have been multiple media versions. And Sometimes, the newer versions are actually better. One can only hope they do so on this.

Submitted by Colleen on Thu, 02/26/2009 - 7:40pm.

They already remade it once, and it sucked ass. The only way this should be remade is if you can get the original members of Kids Inc. together to sing the theme song for the move. And don't mess with Falcor.

Submitted by busby3 on Thu, 02/26/2009 - 6:14pm.

This is my all time favorite kids movie and I grew up watching this in the 80's. The sequels sucked but the first rules supreme! I also freakin' loved Kids Inc. I still have The Neverending Story movie soundtrack on vinyl somewhere in my house. Every time it is on cable I can't not watch it. How could they remake this masterpiece!!!! "The Nothing" Wolf needs to swoop into Hollywood and the Rock Monster needs to ride his rock big wheels into town and fucking destroy the movie studio attempting this remake.

Submitted by PrettyPoison on Thu, 02/26/2009 - 4:32pm.

LMAO @ NYone!! I co-sign that shit! They have to fuck with everything!!!

Submitted by MissAnthrope on Thu, 02/26/2009 - 4:27pm.

At least this provided a reason to post the most magical Kids Inc. song ever. Man I loved that show.

Submitted by stake_spike on Thu, 02/26/2009 - 4:15pm.

When I was younger and really high on acid/lsd/x (insert whichever) I used to listen to some trance song that was a remake of Neverending Story. I'm getting flashbacks of it and it was an awful song. I probably still have that cd somewhere.

Submitted by johnnysgirl on Thu, 02/26/2009 - 3:36pm.

Ugh.

Well, if they do remake it, Posh can play Falcor, check it out:

http://totallylookslike.com/?s=Falcor

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Anger, hatred and bitterness are the three things my doctor told me I was full of after getting my blood test results. -MK

Submitted by Shoebox on Thu, 02/26/2009 - 3:15pm.

That 's my 5 yr old niece's favorite movie, next to milo & ottis, her little sister however totally terrorfied. They can't mess with 80s puppets! Everything would be CGI it would totally ruin the feeling awesomeness

_ Oh Sugar!_
(\/)
(O.o)
(>"<)
(_^_)

Submitted by lovehaight on Thu, 02/26/2009 - 3:10pm.

this sucks.

on the other hand this reminds me of this awesome website at wholovesfalcor.tumbler.com

it's pretty new but it would be cool if he keeps doing it.

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your band sounds like someone choking on guitar hero.

www.roaringrecession.wordpress.com

Submitted by rooney500 on Thu, 02/26/2009 - 2:22pm.

that's fergie in that mess of a show, isn't it?

Submitted by ronnyk on Thu, 02/26/2009 - 2:20pm.

They are probably gonna star that Syris bitch in it or some other fucked up cunt.

Submitted by sparkys nemesis on Thu, 02/26/2009 - 2:18pm.

I adored Neverending Story. Hollywood cannot come up with much original stuff anymore; hence, the remake. If I ever get my own story put into screenplay form, it'd knock your sox off. I've been interviewed for a book about that life (Confessions of a She-Fan) but it was a helluva ride and *nothing* like my tale has ever been done.

Submitted by Total Randomness on Thu, 02/26/2009 - 2:07pm.

Why don't they just fuck up Princess Bride while they're at it...
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Playing Russian Roulette with a Glock is a very hard game to win.

Submitted by Total Randomness on Thu, 02/26/2009 - 2:06pm.

They best leave Flight of Navigator alone too.

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Playing Russian Roulette with a Glock is a very hard game to win.

Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Thu, 02/26/2009 - 2:03pm.

I was just discussing with someone how the Rock Monster made those rocks look delicious when he munched on them.. om nom nom.

Oh and hell no they better not remake Space Camp unless they shoot Dakota Fanning into outer space IRL.. bitch scares me.

Submitted by Total Randomness on Thu, 02/26/2009 - 1:59pm.

If they take Summer School... someone must die!
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Playing Russian Roulette with a Glock is a very hard game to win.

Submitted by amcyprus on Thu, 02/26/2009 - 1:52pm.

they are sooo gonna remake the goonies next .. i just know it !! sooo depressing

Submitted by sunryse on Thu, 02/26/2009 - 1:51pm.

What the fuckety fuck?

"not even as horrifying as the possibility of a remake.

http://flickr.com/photos/19663548@N07/1975359755"

Did he join the international terrorist school? Is he in the wrong religion at that Episcopal Church?

Submitted by sunryse on Thu, 02/26/2009 - 1:49pm.

Oh yeah, and how can we not give ultimate credit to Neverending Story for giving us the moniker "Rock Monster".

I couldn't have used that awesome name in the late 80's, early 90's without NES.

Submitted by Chickenhead McH... on Thu, 02/26/2009 - 1:31pm.

not even as horrifying as the possibility of a remake.

http://flickr.com/photos/19663548@N07/1975359755

Submitted by applejones on Thu, 02/26/2009 - 1:19pm.

WTF? Fuck Hollywood. Seriously. Can't some things be sacred?

And really, how disrepectful to the kids of today? Do they not deserve something of thier own? Because basically they're being taught it's ok to plagarize if you tweak a little here & there and throw in some CGI.

It's complete & utter bullshit and you need to set WB on fire, MK. I emailed them already but good lawd!

Get ready for a Goonies/Stand By Me/Legend/Gremlins remake in 5,4,3...

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Don't let anyone tell you you're not humpable,
Because you're bumpable. Well I hope this doesn't make you feel uncomfortable

Submitted by Meeshie on Thu, 02/26/2009 - 1:18pm.

Next up: remakes of "Space Camp", "Summer School" and "Blood Beach"?

Submitted by gucci on Thu, 02/26/2009 - 1:16pm.

my brother is going to scream and pull his hair out because he absolutely loves this movie! hollywood needs to go suck a big one!

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I am with the person who said they don't like this family(the knowles). They are the type that think they are high class just because they have money. there's lots of rich people with no class out there (Ex: paris hilton) and lots of

Submitted by HollyG on Thu, 02/26/2009 - 1:14pm.

OHMYGAWD! I am HORRIFIED! This truly was like one of my favorite movies when I was kid. NO REMAKING ALLOWED!! If they start up production for a live version of Jem and the Holograms, I'll meet MK outside the studios and start beating bitches down. Please stop fucking with the 80s, they were lovely as is.

"Bitch, please! It's fucking personal!"

Submitted by snuffy on Thu, 02/26/2009 - 1:13pm.

NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Falkor's face gets remade all the time though-whenever I do mushrooms I look exactly like him hahahaha

Submitted by paris herpes on Thu, 02/26/2009 - 12:57pm.

this is how Hollywood has totally run out of ideas. they need to stop remaking shit and ruining our childhoods. anyway, do you guys remember Martika's song Toy Soldiers!?! That shit was DOPE!

"The master's tools will never dismantle the master's house." Audre Lorde

Submitted by Ugotnerve on Thu, 02/26/2009 - 12:56pm.

I can just about forgive Martika for this transgression against my childhood but Fuggie Fug must pay...

The only way I am going to watch a shittified remake of the Wizard of Oz is if they cast Tisdale as the Wicked Witch and Efron as Dorothy. Speaking of that, that ''Return to Oz'' film in the 1980s was pretty creepy... I always remembered it like a fucked up equivalent to the Neverending Story even though it's not the same franchise.

Submitted by LunaChick on Thu, 02/26/2009 - 12:54pm.

Oh, hell no. They can't possibly improve on the original - one of the greatest movies of my childhood. I hate these Hollywood idiots, that can't come up with something new, so they ruin my childhood memories. Just look at Underdog. Need I say more?

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"...We don't exist for the beautiful people of the world...We're there for the oddball, the rebel, the outcast, the geek!"

Submitted by ILovePapaSmurf on Thu, 02/26/2009 - 12:54pm.

Two of my favorite things - The Neverending Story and Kids Inc. in one post, I think I'm about to explode.

Side note, this is a horrible idea, and it will never succeed.

Same with the remake to "Escape to Witch Mountain." I don't give a fuck if 'The Rock' (who is fine as hell) is in it, it will NEVER be the original. You hear me Disney? NEVAH!!!!
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Making Al Pastor Burritos for M.E.

P.S.: Fuck you, Sarah Palin:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=yFdijgMytUA

"I'm a rapper. That's just what I do, Katie." - Lil' Wayne on weed.

Submitted by Mrs. Gosling on Thu, 02/26/2009 - 12:53pm.

Submitted by wiseup28 on Thu, 02/26/2009 - 1:43pm.
It's bad enough they've put The Rock in Witch Mountain. If they fuck with the Goonies, heads WILL roll.

When I saw the commercials I was like I have seen this movie before! but I couldnt figure it out lol until I remembered I used to watch it on the disney channel all the time..I effen luved witch mountain!

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I need some sunny weather!!!!!

Submitted by NYone on Thu, 02/26/2009 - 12:52pm.

NOOOOO WHYYYYYYYYYY????? CANT WE HAVE ANYTHING???? ISNT IT ENOUGH THAT WE ARE OLD AND FAT???? BUT NOW THIS???? WTF??? UNACCEPTABLE ..JESUS I WATCHED THAT MOVIE AT LEAST 300 TIMES, DONT RUIN IT A-HOLES !!!!

Submitted by Vermithrax on Thu, 02/26/2009 - 12:49pm.

Morla will not be pleased.

Submitted by smokeybaconflavour on Thu, 02/26/2009 - 12:44pm.

There is actually nothing on earth I hate more than that movie. All the other little fucks my age were apparently crazy for it when I was a little kid and I remember being forced into watching it over and over and over. It was fucking torture.

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"Today could be the day I'm mistaken for someone important."

Submitted by wiseup28 on Thu, 02/26/2009 - 12:43pm.

It's bad enough they've put The Rock in Witch Mountain. If they fuck with the Goonies, heads WILL roll.

Submitted by Some random European on Thu, 02/26/2009 - 12:37pm.

No! For shame! I'm going to weep.That's a moment as bad as finding out that "Hanni and Nanni" wasn't the real title of the book about those twins at a boarding school by Enid Blyton.

Oh well. Let me just brag a little bit about sitting on "Falkor" (who's REAL name is Fuchur, by the way - I guess it would've sounded a little bit too... interesting pronounced by you English speaking folks).

So, growing up in Bavaria, we visited Bavaria Film Studios with our school class and we got to see all those quirky creatures that were part of the movie. And then, a few of us could ride on Fuchur! We had a blast.

And that's pretty much as close as I'll ever get to my famous 15. :p