American Idol: These Two Skanks Are Going To Go Through, Right?
Last night, I was forced to watch American Idol without having the ability to fast forward through suckery and commercials. That shit should be used as a torture device. For real. I haven't been the same since.
Honestly, these skanks should not get to pick their own songs. Maroon 5? Coldplay? Hell no. It's never going to work. They should sing nursery rhymes, because they have the brains of toddlers. No offense to toddlers.
There were two whores that the judges busted nuts over. The first was 16-year-old Allison Irawhatever. When Gaycrest was interviewing her ass before she performed, homegirl acted like she just downed a bottle of rubbing alcohol. She was on a 15-second delay and not making sense. Then, she got up, took the stage and screamed the fuck out of Heart's Alone. No wonder bitch is alone, because she screams so damn much. Bitches can't be around her, because she hurts their ears. And she looks like the broken condom baby of Kelly Clarkson and Natasha Lyonne trying to do a Lily Allen impersonation and failing. Yes, I would have let Allison paint my nails with black glitter polish in high school, but I wasn't amused with her shit last night. But I also have a close relationship with Heart's Alone, because that is my karaoke JAM! Allison's performance needed more jazz hands. That's what that song is all about. Who knows? Her voice isn't that bad. She may grow on me. I'm open to it.
Adam Lambert also made the judges queef out compliments. Adam can sing, but the queen needs to turn down the drama. You could skipper dinner after Adam's performance, because he served up a giant honey baked H.A.M. And was Randy sipping on Paula's crazy tea? Randy told Adam that he was kind of like Robert Pattinson from Twilight. The hell? Maybe a hybrid of Robert Smith (today) and Paddington Bear, but sparkly RPattz? Never EVER.
The third spot MUST go to the amazing Norman Gentle. Richard Simmons proper! Norman knows this whole pony show is a damn joke and I'm in love with him because of that. Clip below:
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I had no idea this show was even on.
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I dont think, I drink.
Adam seriously needs to butch up his pretty self & get a more masculine haircut...He can sing, but those cheesy faces he was making while he was singing were making me sick. He is actually not a bad looking guy, but I cant take the over the top theatre fagginess much longer.
I really like Alison so far...She is odd, but you can tell she is normally like that & she is talented & she seems humble. I was so glad when that blond Megan Corkrey with the hair about a foot too long didnt get through. The way she kept singing "doowwwn" in whatever song she sang really annoyed me. I am sure she will be a wild card & then we can hear another 50 thousand times how pretty she is...Let the talented homely ones have a chance too... The women are all mostly super skinny this time too...They are getting more & more about image & the contestants having the "entire package" every year.
And was Randy sipping on Paula's crazy tea? Randy told Adam that he was kind of like Robert Pattinson from Twilight. The hell? Maybe a hybrid of Robert Smith (today) and Paddington Bear, but sparkly RPattz? Never EVER.
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Agreed one MILLION percent. Randy's on some Benjamin Button's shit!
I don't like Adam. *sprints off and throws MK in front as shield to hide because no way you'd hit MK apologizes to MK for using him as a human shield*
"Aso heavy. Sank u very much. Sank u my suppotah. Sank you my stuff. Sank you my pencil. Academy. Sank you animation. Sank u my company robot. Domo arigato Mr. Roboto."
Michael K, you are my luff! Heart's alone is my karaoke jam too!
Her dress is really cute！
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God bless me to find my Mr right on http://www.wealthyclub.net , lol
Bay Watch...Mannix...Girl From U.N.C.L.E.
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Bannecek, Columbo, Baretta, Marcus Welby MD, Rockford Files... ah the good old days. When tv stars wore clothing and were for the most part sober.
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
A false eyelash should be like a secret abortion: discrete, so as not to attract Christian rage. - Ziggy S
Submitted by angel_i on Thu, 02/26/2009 - 10:06pm.
Um...don't we already gots a Miley Cyrus and a Pete Wentz? Do we really need more?
There always seems to be an audience for everyone...but this guy really has no talent but then again look at how long Sanjaya lasted.
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You thought you were there to guide me
You were only in my way
You're wrong if you think that I'll be just like you
Yay!!! I love Adam - I'm glad he made through. I'll take a piece of his HAM anyday!
Submitted by jussayin on Thu, 02/26/2009 - 8:37pm.
and I am telling you....you gotta go!
I can't believe anyone still watches this shit, or Survivor, or DWTS, or Real World, or basically half of the lame shit on TV.
But then again I grew up wehn we had REAL TV shows....like Charlie's Angels, and Knight Rider, and Cosby Show, and Manimal....
Yay Manimal!
Bay Watch...Mannix...Girl From U.N.C.L.E.
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Ok,stop puffing the magic dragon.
Um...don't we already gots a Miley Cyrus and a Pete Wentz? Do we really need more?
♥ ThreadKilla!
OCTOMOMMY STRIKES AGAIN!!!
Finally! February Highlights #1!
FUCK YOU, WMG!!!
I caught the last 5 minutes of the show where it was down to Norman and Adam, and the guy who got to stay got to screech out a very excruciating little number. I'll not be tuning in again. I'm sure if anything is worth seeing down the road it will be here.
and I am telling you....you gotta go!
I can't believe anyone still watches this shit, or Survivor, or DWTS, or Real World, or basically half of the lame shit on TV.
But then again I grew up wehn we had REAL TV shows....like Charlie's Angels, and Knight Rider, and Cosby Show, and Manimal....
yeah I said Manimal! what?
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you would have to get better to be crazy....
ubmitted by Uncle Ashtray on Thu, 02/26/2009 - 5:15pm.
Submitted by parissucksliterally on Thu, 02/26/2009 - 4:58pm.
this show jumped the shark 4 seasons ago.
I do not watch, and will not watch.
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Ditto.
AND I will add shows I never will watch:
Top Chef
Any Real Housewives
Lost
DWTS
High School Musicals
Miley shows/Jonas Bros. shit
Top Models
and
Runway bullshit
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Um... no offense, but you come to DL for... what, then?
Yer missin' out.
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"Edwina's insides were a rocky place where my seed could find no purchase. " -- H.I. McDunnough
I'm with Jim.
Adam, with his emo hair (isn't that trend over yet? sheesh) and his theatrical cheesiness was Just. Too. Much. While his voice really is something kinda special, his overall presentation is the gayest thing since gay came to gaytown. WTF was Randy thinking?
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"Edwina's insides were a rocky place where my seed could find no purchase. " -- H.I. McDunnough
Submitted by Clarisse on Thu, 02/26/2009 - 5:42pm.
Momus,
Never seen a second of American Idol. The only reality TV I watch is the one with hot Trainer Bob!!!!
On TOPIC: I've said it once and I'll say it again...This Adam cat is Xandir P. Whifflebottom with dark hair!!!
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LOL. ITA.
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My avatar is my 27-pound Maine Coon furkid named Mozart. Lying next to him is a standard-sized cat.
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he's the gayest of them all. i dont understand why your radar didnt go off mk
Love Nick/Norman and also loved what he had to say for himself in the video clip before the live performance. "What am I supposed to do, be like Justin Timberlake? I don't think that's going to happen." He's intelligent and self-aware and really fucking funny. Out of all of these whores he's the only one I'd want to have a beer with. I guess that might not help him win AI, but whateva.
Oh, and as for his singing- he did manage a really beautiful little "run" or whatever it's called-"I hope I'm staying" on the stairs, immediately followed by tossing his glasses into the crowd, saying "Can you hold that?" Bwahahaha. Love him.
I had to laugh at that Adam person prancing around in that outfit. Also at Norman Gentle who I think was channeling Liza Minelli. I hope if he gets to the next round, his performance will be in drag. That would make this ick show bearable, that and if Buttcrest and Simon would finally show how they feel about other.
OMFG, I love him! He is just what that bland, boring-ass show needs. Somebody with personality and a style all his own. TEAM NORMAN!
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Best Supporting Actor, Bitches!
I'm usually too lazy to actually vote for American Idol but I love Norman so much I actually picked up the phone. He was so entertaining and he can sing better than half the people that were being serious.
Norman better get through or I'm gonna be PISSED!!! America, do the right thing.
Adam is the ish and needs to be put through, too. It's clear he's being set up to face off with Gokey so if I have to choose between the two, I'm going with the queen. Plus, his hair is fabulous!
I liked Allison and I think she's a shoe in for top 12, but I really hope the judges put Mishavonna in the Wild Card round. I actually really liked her cover of "Drops of Jupiter."
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"Veronica, why are you pulling my dick?" - Heather Duke
FBD, Matt Duke
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dz0jypyHgTc
Momus,
Never seen a second of American Idol. The only reality TV I watch is the one with hot Trainer Bob!!!!
On TOPIC: I've said it once and I'll say it again...This Adam cat is Xandir P. Whifflebottom with dark hair!!!
http://flowingfire.googlepages.com/xandir.jpg
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"....my son is 5 and one day came out of the bathroom with just a t shirt on and a wad of TP in his buttcrack. He was jumping around saying "LOOK IMA BUNNY!!"" ~complication
"Submitted by sparkys nemesis on Thu, 02/26/2009 - 5:19pm.
Don't forget Hudson and Daughtry as successful non-winners on AI. Anyhoo, this must be my day to disagree with Michael K...because Norman Gentle must **go**. This is a singing competition, dude, and while his voice isn't awful, he's like Jerry Lewis on Ambien."
While I agree with you about Daughtry, I don't about JHud. She's a great singer, don't get me wrong, but her acting is on par with Beyonce - horrible. She didn't deserve the OSCAR for "Best Supporting Actress" for Dreamgirls. Basically, she won because she ripped "You're Going to Love Me" a new asshole and that's it. The rest of her acting in the movie was Bad News Bears.
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Making Al Pastor Burritos for M.E.
P.S.: Fuck you, Sarah Palin:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=yFdijgMytUA
"I'm a rapper. That's just what I do, Katie." - Lil' Wayne on weed.
I don't watch this shit, but the people in those top pictures look like munchkins.
Submitted by sparkys nemesis on Thu, 02/26/2009 -
Norman Gentle must **go**. This is a singing competition, dude, and while his voice isn't awful, he's like Jerry Lewis on Ambien.
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LOL. Plus I don't like his creepy pedo name.
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You don't want whores sniffing at your goods.--MK
Don't forget Hudson and Daughtry as successful non-winners on AI. Anyhoo, this must be my day to disagree with Michael K...because Norman Gentle must **go**. This is a singing competition, dude, and while his voice isn't awful, he's like Jerry Lewis on Ambien.
Submitted by parissucksliterally on Thu, 02/26/2009 - 4:58pm.
this show jumped the shark 4 seasons ago.
I do not watch, and will not watch.
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Ditto.
AND I will add shows I never will watch:
Top Chef
Any Real Housewives
Lost
DWTS
High School Musicals
Miley shows/Jonas Bros. shit
Top Models
and
Runway bullshit
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"...Soon we'll be away from here. Step on the gas and wipe that tear away...."
OMG, Norman was hilarious! I know where he's coming from --- AI is cheesy and most of the contestants oversing and ham it up. If he makes it to the next round, I will start watching AI again.
Submitted by ricki lake on Thu, 02/26/2009 - 5:06pm.
I don't watch Idol but I am aware of the past winners.
Except for Clarkson's moderate success, none of the pop vocalists have made it big time. Underwood is a success but as a country singer. Lambert will probably be the next Broadway star.
The one's who broke the pop singer mold seem to be the most successful ones.
Aiken tried in "Spamalot" but he's to popsy for Broadway and, thus, has failed to revive his career.
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My avatar is my 27-pound Maine Coon furkid named Mozart. Lying next to him is a standard-sized cat.
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I'm not gonna lie, I love everything that girl is wearing. although I could do without the fugly ass bow. Her lair looks like mine the first time I tried to dye it with cooliad when I was 6.
I saw Adam Lambert in "Wicked" at the Pantages in LA. He was in the chorus. God knows the boy can sing, but my god, he needs to stop with the theatrics. If he wants to stay in drama, fine, do it, but girl, tone it down. Seriously.
And he does not look like Robert Patterson and did he really say he liked the "Twilight" books? Fuck him, he lost my vote. He really does look like a young Elvis a bit, and the girls love him. But since he likes "Twilight," he can suck it.
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Making Al Pastor Burritos for M.E.
P.S.: Fuck you, Sarah Palin:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=yFdijgMytUA
"I'm a rapper. That's just what I do, Katie." - Lil' Wayne on weed.
Meh. Adam DOES have a theatrical voice, but you'll notice he has sung a range of different types of songs well. (As opposed to the other cunts last night, who were good singing blues, folk, soul etc. during Hollywood Week but then inexplicably turned to pop and pop-rock and failed at it MISERABLY.) I would like to see an Idol that's more set apart from past winners. I mean, do we really need another boring, mediocre fucking pop ho like Jordin Sparks? Yeah, she's really tearin' up the charts LOL.
Pip from ferngully? BWAHAHAHAHA, He does!!
nighty night whores! ;P
you all need to get on your knees to Adam tonight and pray for his forgiveness
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"why is there a dead Pakistani on my couch"!?!
this show jumped the shark 4 seasons ago.
I do not watch, and will not watch.
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Sit down, take a look at yourself
Don't you want to be somebody?
Someday somebody's gonna see inside
You have to face up, you can't run and hide....
-Little River Band "Lonesome Loser"
Yeah, but here's the thing about Adam. His performance was flawless, but he's all musical theatre. He should be on Broadway. He performs instead of just singing. He has the best voice and the most talent of everyone in this contest, but this isn't his venue. But, Damn, is he talented!
Phew! mah backup's in dah house.
YEAH take that BITCHES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"why is there a dead Pakistani on my couch"!?!
Who's that new judge? I guess they needed a sober female judge. Oh sorry..I mean a female judge who's not a little woozy from perfectly legally prescribed pain pills for her neck injury. Uh huh.
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Bolloxology
Alright, you fucking hooker hos. The next person to utter one negative syllable about my baby Adam Lambert gets their spleen ripped out of their distended fucking gullet!!! I will hunt you down and burn your families in front of you, cunts!!!
Adam was sooo good last night! The intense look he gave to the camera as it panned around him in the beginning may have given you the illusion that he was looking straight at you, but in fact, he was looking straight at ME. Hookers.
I thought Allison was good, especially for 16. Then again, most people sucked last night, and picked horrible songs, so that worked in her favor as well.
Norman was entertaining and does have a voice. It will be interesting to see if he moves on.
I heart Adam Lambert! Even if he resembles Pip from Ferngully occasionally. *Swoon*
Emo dude will make it and the pretty chick with the tattooed arm...and the fat girl.
xoxoxoxox
Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
Submitted by jim on Thu, 02/26/2009 - 4:38pm.
THE MICROPHONE CORD HAS MORE TALENT AND USE THAN ANY OF THESE FUCKING LOSERS!!
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The dust motes under the microphone cord has more talent.
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My avatar is my 27-pound Maine Coon furkid named Mozart. Lying next to him is a standard-sized cat.
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Mr IDML has given me permission to have a litter of Normund's kids. Call me AJ 2.0
☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
Interviewer: You're playing one of the most famous characters in movie history. How come we don't see you in all the tabloids?
Daniel Craig: Because I don't want to be in them.
Deb: beyotch we gonna do it Philly style!
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"why is there a dead Pakistani on my couch"!?!
I cant comment on the first two idols because I dont watch the show but after seeing that clip...VIVA LA NORMAN! haha
Submitted by dramaqueen365247 on Thu, 02/26/2009 - 4:29pm.
Deb: HAHA! Nope -- not masculine enough to play Ms. Peron.
LOL! True!
Hey snowpiece, I love ya, and I'm still tired from my knife fight with Angelina, but I'll meet you by the swings after last period.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
LOL KD I'm a skeered of ALL CAPS JIM, where's Ricki Lake when I need his biting wit!?!?!?
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"why is there a dead Pakistani on my couch"!?!
Mortal Kombat: jim vs. snowpiece! Getcher tickets!
THE MICROPHONE CORD HAS MORE TALENT AND USE THAN ANY OF THESE FUCKING LOSERS!!
I like Adam Lambert. Yeah he does Ham it up though... he reminds me of Shannel from Drag Race.
Love Norman as well! I really hope he gets the 3rd spot!