Jakey Sings!
Jakey Gyllenhaal will finally get the chance to sing and dance his little girl heart out in a big gay musical! My asshole is blowing rainbow-covered bubbles in anticipation! Variety says that Jakey and Jim Carrey in the big-screen version of the Broadway musical Damn Yankees for New Line.
In case you don't take it up the butt, let me fill you in on what Damn Yankees is about. You see, some fat old slob named Joe Boyd who dreams of seeing the Yankees get beat by the Senators at the World Series. The devil appears and offers to make Boyd's baseball dreams come true in exchange for his soul. Boyd agrees and is transformed into the hunky piece of hot meat known as Joe Hardy, a slugger for the Senators. Boyd loves his new life but misses sis hag of a wife Meg. He starts to have second thoughts about the whole thing. Boyd is able to break the contract before the end of the World Series, so the devil sends a hot slut named Lola to try and seduce him into keeping the deal.
Jim Carrey will play the devil and Jakey will shake his nalgas as Joe Hardy. Yes, Jakey wearing a jock strap in the middle of a locker room filled with naked dudes. This shit is one step closer to realizing your dream of Jakey starring a hardcore gay porn. Damn YANK ME!
Basically, Charo was born to coochie coo as Lola. That role belongs to her. Or La Pequena.
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I love that pic...laugh everytime
For fans of "Damn Yankees," the 1990s Broadway revival with Victor Garber (Mr. Applegate), Bebe Neuwirth (Lola), and Jarrod Emick (Young Joe) was pretty good. I have that soundtrack album, and Victor Garber does a really sleazy and delicious Mr. Applegate.
I don't have a problem with a remake starring these two, but who's going to play Lola???
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Did I dream this belief or did I believe this dream?
--Peter Gabriel
No, no and no again.
1958. Tab Hunter. Ray Walston. The incomparable Gwen Verdon.
WtF are they thinking, remaking this?!
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"Edwina's insides were a rocky place where my seed could find no purchase. " -- H.I. McDunnough
Submitted by Zappy on Fri, 02/27/2009 - 3:06pm.
@ angel
We have a collection only of movies that were already seen
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I have a cool undergroundish kinda video store I rent from...I love to get the oldies and show them to my kid. She always thinks she's gonna hate them but she always loves them.
♥ ThreadKilla!
OCTOMOMMY STRIKES AGAIN!!!
Finally! February Highlights #1!
FUCK YOU, WMG!!!
Submitted by snowpiece on Fri, 02/27/2009 - 3:05pm.
that's cuz angel is a fag hag! ;P
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O yeah....don't think I din't see this, hunny!
Cuz I did!
♥ ThreadKilla!
OCTOMOMMY STRIKES AGAIN!!!
Finally! February Highlights #1!
FUCK YOU, WMG!!!
OH.MY.GOD.
FABULOUS pic! =))=))
(¯`'•.¸(¯`'•.¸♥¸.•'´¯)¸.•'´¯)
2007~It was a truly magical time in Shitneyland.
"Sam put drugs in Britney's biscuits"
Whoa, Jakey Boo sure does have a 'limp' wrist. "HOW U DOIN'?"
Yeah, I said it!!!!
I'm used to people hating on musicals - it doesn't bother me in the least so I won't protest. If you're not a dancer or a performer ya prob won't feel the appeal.
Having said that, the musicals they are making today are utter SHITE. I poop on them all.
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Anger, hatred and bitterness are the three things my doctor told me I was full of after getting my blood test results. -MK
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Fri, 02/27/2009 - 3:08pm.
oh oh oh hahaha ...oh god.
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snark: It's not right but it's ok.
The only part of this post that qualifies as news is that they got a picture of him straddling his sister.
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
@ angel
We have a collection only of movies that were already seen (unless they were five dollars lol). My husband hates the old movies but there are some great classics.
The Ghost and Mrs. Muir, Wuthering Heights, Laura, Animal House and the horrorfest pack: Phantasm, Friday the 13th, Halloween. Not to mention the old Hitchcock stuff.
that's cuz angel is a fag hag! ;P
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"why is there a dead Pakistani on my couch"!?!
I'll let him drink some titty milks.
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snark: It's not right but it's ok.
PS. His bod is hot - limp wristed or not. To be honest, that just makes him all the more attractive to me:)
♥ ThreadKilla!
OCTOMOMMY STRIKES AGAIN!!!
Finally! February Highlights #1!
FUCK YOU, WMG!!!
LOL @ snowp
When I'm upset with the world around me I usually put on my red glitter shoes and follow the yellow brick road and wile (spelling) away the hours consulting with the flowers...
Actually, the first Dinner Theater was at my house. Us kids eating leftover Monday meatballs and my mother tap dancing across the floor and singing show tunes.
No shit.
Gotttttta dannnnnce Gotttttta dance.
I personally don't care whether he's gay, bi, or straight. He seems like an okay guy to me. I'd drink a beer with him.
@Zappy: So true. It was more geared towards families as a whole and so it had to be smarter - so you could get the ludeness in for those who enjoyed it and, at the very same time, go right over the heads of anyone not tuned in ie. children (specifically but not limited to...).
Then they split up the family and aimed everything at groups individually and THEN they started to aim EVERYTHING amusing at teenagers. So annoying how hard it is to find an intelligent movie that's not straight-up depressing.
♥ ThreadKilla!
OCTOMOMMY STRIKES AGAIN!!!
Finally! February Highlights #1!
FUCK YOU, WMG!!!
"Damn YANK ME!" TAHAHAHA... :sigh:
i love Jim Carey. It's a guilty pleasure i'm not too proud of.
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snark: It's not right but it's ok.
It was never a question of whether he was gay enough for a musical about baseball, the only question was whether he was a pitcher or a catcher.
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
My womanhood is compromised. Even I can't pull off that pose.
Zappy Oh I am a big fan of old movies and I can appreciate Gene Kelley etc, I just can't get into the whole breaking into song and dance in the middle of the story...
but you go right ahead, LOL ;P
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"why is there a dead Pakistani on my couch"!?!
Submitted by gyeah on Fri, 02/27/2009 - 2:54pm.
HOLA!.
I think the picture is just hysterical! I keep laughing at it. I am like a 10 year old!
Submitted by snowpiece on Fri, 02/27/2009 - 2:52pm.
me too DG, except The Sound of Music (and Absolute Beginners)
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I also agree. I love SOM. I watch it every time it's on, and AB is fantastic.
I really don't consider them musicals, I know they are, but they are great.
For a bit, I used an old refridge as a closet!
@ snowp
I gotta steady diet of them when I was a yoot and the technique and style of dance is amazing. A true talent makes it look easy ~ like Anne Miller, Gene Kelly, etc.
Old Hollywood was much more sophisticated than the whores we love to bitch about today. At least the Studios kept their rebels under wraps unlike the publicists today.
My kids who are 13 and 17 got a steady diet of the Little Rascals, Three Stooges and Abbott & Costello.
The difference between this old stuff and the new stuff is that the new stuff is in your face, blatant and the old stuff was innuendo.
I know you were talking about lame musicals, and I went off on a tangent.
Submitted by devilgirl on Fri, 02/27/2009 - 2:50pm.
MAMASITAAA!!
I used to have a lil crush on this guy. That limp wrist...hm hm
Jake, put that hand on my titty right now! Maybe it has a memory and it'll stiffen up a bit.
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snark: It's not right but it's ok.
Submitted by angel_i on Fri, 02/27/2009 - 2:51pm.
*slaps devilgirl*
Dayum! I hope she gets back soon - this could be tiring!
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LOL!
me too DG, except The Sound of Music (and Absolute Beginners)
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"why is there a dead Pakistani on my couch"!?!
*slaps devilgirl*
Dayum! I hope she gets back soon - this could be tiring!
♥ ThreadKilla!
OCTOMOMMY STRIKES AGAIN!!!
Finally! February Highlights #1!
FUCK YOU, WMG!!!
ha ha angel, I like Jakey's boobies! so round and firm!
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"why is there a dead Pakistani on my couch"!?!
Submitted by snowpiece on Fri, 02/27/2009 - 2:48pm.
Musicals are fruit! Hate them with a passion!
*slaps snowy*
I'll fill in til she gets back:)
♥ ThreadKilla!
OCTOMOMMY STRIKES AGAIN!!!
Finally! February Highlights #1!
FUCK YOU, WMG!!!
fucking musicals are LAAAAAME, LOL where's dramaqueen to slap me???
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"why is there a dead Pakistani on my couch"!?!
@ johnnys
And Cyd Charisse and love Vera Ellen too!
@ Zappy --
Gene Kelly is da tops. My other idol is Anne Miller. Her "Too Darn Hot" number in Kiss Me Kate is like one of the best dance numbers of all time. Hot-cha!
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Anger, hatred and bitterness are the three things my doctor told me I was full of after getting my blood test results. -MK
@ johnnys
Singing in the Rain and Brigadoon.
Loves me some Gene Kelly.
I love love love musicals, but I really loathe this one. Mind you, I have only ever seen the movie version. Ugh, it is truly awful. Full of that 1950's cheesy hokeyness. "Whatever Lola Wants, Lola Gets" is a great song, but the actual number in the movie is painfully bad.
In this case, I think a remake would be an improvement.
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Anger, hatred and bitterness are the three things my doctor told me I was full of after getting my blood test results. -MK
A movie adaptation of this musical was already done in the 1950's with Tab Hunter who was actually a singer too...Jake has some big shoes to fill on this one...are they going to dub his voice? If he is going to sound like Pierce Brosnan, they should. One wounded walrus lament in this decade is enough.
I'm a widow...no men would ever leave me unless he absolutely had to - Blanche Devereaux
"Damn YANK ME!" : Awesome.
Um...what's with the limp wrist eh?
ubmitted by Uncle Ashtray on Fri, 02/27/2009 - 12:21pm.
I don't think Jake can sing............but I bet he could squeal like a pig real good!!!!!
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my my he sho has purrrrty lips.
Actually... the show is about a Washington fan who would sell his soul for just one good long hitter... and then the devil says he'll make him that long hitter... they play AGAINST the yankees... thats why its Damn Yankees.... Just a correction.
I didn't even read what MK wrote, the picture was just toooooo f'in funny.
ROFLMAO!
Mikey, Hardy hates the Yankeess, and so asks Satan to make him a player for the fictional Washington Senators, a really bad team constantly beaten by the Yankees. He becomes a young man with super baseball powers, leaves his old haggy wife, takes up with the Devil's helpmate Lola (oh please God don't let them put the execrable Anne Hathaway in this role) then decides to go back to his wife by exercising an escape clause in his deal with Mr. Applegate. The Senators win the pennant after all, even though Joe is back to being a peepaw.
Synopsis brought to you by Condi, Musical Loving Girly Man [tm Joss Whedon]. And while Carrey MIGHT be good as Applegate if the director reigns him in, if he screws this up I will personally smash his head in. Gyllenhaal is OK for Joe - five years ago Patrick Wilson would have been ideal (now he's too old). Again, they'd better not screw this up. AND NO HATHAWAY FOR LOLA! Bleech.
That pic is hilarious!
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i have never liked him very much. don't think he's very hot
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'fuck you guys. i'm goin' home.'
I am from Toledo OH and when Robot Katie was in highschool she played Lola in her school's version of Damn Yankees. wow.
I thought he was hotter when he wasn't connected to Reese.
Carrot,
Yeh, good call. The USD is still in the shitter.
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