ROLB: Every Girl Gets Drunk And Lays On A Speed Bump
It was whore business as usual on last night's Rock of Love Bang Bus. Kelsey, Ashley and Farrah got "shit your pants" wasted in the ultra-classy VIP section at Bret's show.
Honestly, that section consisted of just a rent-a-center sofa with a broke ass Kinkos-made banner hanging over it. But those whores didn't know the difference. They probably thought they were in Europe, because that shit was so refined and classy. It was obviously too elegant for Kesley and Farrah, because those whores got kicked the fuck out for smearing their skankness all over the joint. Basically, they were too drunk according to Big John. Yeah, too drunk! This boggles my mind, because I'm pretty sure the Rock of Love Bang Bus runs on booze-filled fumes coming out of their snatches. It's green like that.
After Kelsey got kicked the hell out, she she had a meltdown and collapsed on a speed bump in the parking lot where she cried for about an hour. Kelsey later waved that fuckery off and said a lot of girls have probably passed out on a speed bump. Au contraire! A lot of DUMB girls maybe. Why the fuck would you pass out on a speed bump? Think about it.
Say you're passed out on a speed bump and some bitch who isn't paying attention drives over you. Bitch is just going to look out his window really quick and see the speed bump. He's going to shrug it off and go on his way. That leaves you laying there, with your guts spilling out and all the booze leaking out of your system. There goes your buzz.
A drunk whore with brains will pass out in the middle of the street far away from a speed bump. That way if a bitch runs over you, they will look to the side, see no speed bump, get out of the car and investigate. They will call you an ambulance and a doctor at the hospital can patch you back up, so the booze doesn't leak out. Buzz saved! Seriously, Kelsey doesn't know shit!
This week's episode would not be complete without an Ashleyism: "People who eat basil are lame!" Bitch wouldn't think basil was lame if it was dipped in Red Rooster 21 and wrapped around a hard cock. In addition to give her thoughts on basil, Ashley also tried to cook a microwaveable dinner. I can't wait for Chef Ashley's show on the Food Network. Clip below:
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I am sad to say, I can't stop watching this show.
Steeeeewed Caaabaggeee!
May every Jack has his Jill. Still Don't have a date?
Check out___________Mixed Friends. c o m________
There are Over millions of profiles from all over the world!Everything is FREE! Don't forget to tell your friends!
This show is all kinds of trash yet I can't stop watching
蜘龍====================龍蜘
(\__/)
(='.'=)
(")_(")
Damn. This show makes me weep over mankind.
Sank you. Sank you berry muz.
I was lmao when Bret was on the roller coaster holding onto his fake hair.
I love it when Big John says, "I told you not to be slutty or whorey." That was the biggest laugh of the show! Why else are they there, if not to be sluts and whores, preferably drunken sluts and whores?
noooo if they got rid of Farrah and Ashley what would be the point of the show? I freaking HATE that Miss Sluthouse Pet of the year beyatch, OMG she is sooo freaking fug and I love how they called her out on her POLE WORK!!!!
ha ha the funniest thing re Kelsey was when Brett was kissing her (ewwww) and one of them, (Farrah?) said, "I looked over and it was like Kelsey was making out with her Dad!" Seriously, she was too young for him, then at the end she (K) said "My next man definitly won't be 44" LMAO
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"why is there a dead Pakistani on my couch"!?!
MK, you just get smarter with every post. Thanks for mentioning the cheap-ass Kinko's made banner, the bane of any REAL sign maker's existance.
I love this show!Obviously the speed bump was a street pillow.
xoxoxoxox
Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
I don't know how anyone can watch this crap. siriusly.
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snark: It's not right but it's ok.
she can sleep on my speed bump
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0006718/
is
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1125351/
Submitted by Sandbitch on Mon, 03/02/2009 -
And for desert? A big bowl of TITS with strewn peas
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The chef suggests TITS with cream.
Just seems natural.
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Submitted by Momus the Sarcastic
The First Amendment screams: FUCK OFF!
Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on Mon, 03/02/2009 - 10:09pm.
Submitted by Sandbitch on Mon, 03/02/2009 - 9:40pm.
===WTF! Is manimal a man?
^^^
not only is he a man, baby cakes, he is HWAT!!!!
OMG, why didn't anyone tell me? I would have fixed my face, brushed my hair and shit. Is he jewish as well? 'coz, I'm none too fond of the foreskin y'know, jus sayin.
Tigerlilly exposed!
Login: tigerlillydlisted
password: fuckery
www.youtube.com/watch?v=hVWNrYrtOkA&ytsession=B9lCvHq4zCZoWcxRo-4...
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Mon, 03/02/2009 - 10:09pm.
I'll hunt you down like the dollar menu meal you is...
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Uh huh. You always had your tiger eyes on these McNuggets. The fancy feast is 100% organic, baby.
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Submitted by Momus the Sarcastic
The First Amendment screams: FUCK OFF!
Submitted by imthemostmodest on Mon, 03/02/2009 - 10:10pm.
DOES ANYONE ELSE NOTICE THAT GIANT LINE OF COKE ON THE TABLE?
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No, but I did notice some piss flaps on the carpet.
DOES ANYONE ELSE NOTICE THAT GIANT LINE OF COKE ON THE TABLE?
Submitted by jiggywiddit on Mon, 03/02/2009 - 10:05pm.
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Mon, 03/02/2009 - 9:53pm.
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Yeah, bitch...consider yo' ass some Meow Mix shit up in here...Oh, you done fo', ho. You can zig zag all you want, I'll hunt you down like the dollar menu meal you is...
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Submitted by Sandbitch on Mon, 03/02/2009 - 9:40pm.
===WTF! Is manimal a man?
^^^
not only is he a man, baby cakes, he is HWAT!!!!
-☮'---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
Um, um, Look to the cookie Elaine. Look to the cookie.
Offering up My2cents as tender vittles. And for desert? A big bowl of TITS with strewn peas.
Tigerlilly exposed!
Login: tigerlillydlisted
password: fuckery
www.youtube.com/watch?v=hVWNrYrtOkA&ytsession=B9lCvHq4zCZoWcxRo-4...
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Mon, 03/02/2009 - 9:53pm.
You want more bitch?
We gots it.
Or are you ready to discuss terms? My2Cents is our official counsel and chief shit stirrer in this expose. The fact that you forgot her will only work in our favour.
*gets out rolling paper in anticipation of our 'nip booty*
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
Tigerlilly exposed!!!1!
Login: tigerlillydlisted
password: fuckery
http://tinyurl.com/c9swzv
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Mon, 03/02/2009 - 9:53pm.
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*ahem*...official statement from Tigerlilly:
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Yeah, STICK A SOCK IN IT !!
Uh, er, poor choice of words. Sorry.
*runs away in a zigzag formation*
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Submitted by Momus the Sarcastic
The First Amendment screams: FUCK OFF!
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Mon, 03/02/2009 - 9:53pm.
yea it was the 'editing', PLEASE! i think the video explains why you have a bigger avatar then everybody else. whoring out your lady bits for a larger avatar...tsk tsk.
+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
Is this broke down bitches on a bus show done yet. It's not like anyone believes he's really going to find love. Herpes, yes....but not love.
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you would have to get better to be crazy....
Submitted by TITS on Mon, 03/02/2009 - 9:30pm.
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Mon, 03/02/2009 - 8:40pm.
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*ahem*...official statement from Tigerlilly:
"What transpired was a very private moment between myself and a sock monkey. We were both researching roles...I regret that the public fervor for salacious gossip has broght me to the point that I have to stand here before you not even wearing my own pants and defend us both against these scurrilous allegations...
Sure, I could point to the obvious editing of the piece you have viewed and tell you outright which parts the black kid did, or that it's obvious that I have a wide stance, but I think I'd rather focus on the fact that I'm a business woman...You know who I am right? If not, with all due respect, I implore you to Google me, you dumbfuck...
And in closing, I would like to ask you this:
WHY WON'T YOU JUST LET ME BE GREAT?????
Unofficial statement: TITS and Sandbitch, yo' asses is officially some Tender Vittles shit up on in here....
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
She will be in rehab before long. Those other two skanks also.
Submitted by Manimal5 on Mon, 03/02/2009 - 9:20pm.
Funny but my GF says "thanks for the speed bump" after we have sex. Not sure what she means.....
===WTF! Is manimal a man? or maybe I'm just stereotyping...gayelle?
Tigerlilly exposed!
www.youtube.com/watch?v=hVWNrYrtOkA&ytsession=B9lCvHq4zCZoWcxRo-4...
Login: tigerlillydlisted
password: fuckery
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Mon, 03/02/2009 - 8:40pm.
wha? *ssssshit*
Oh... hello tigerlilly, my but you're looking lovely tonight!
*backs out of thread carefully*
I think I saw Sandbitch and My2Cents over in the open post! You know... in case you were looking for them...
*RUN!*
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
Tigerlilly exposed!!!1!
Login: tigerlillydlisted
password: fuckery
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hVWNrYrtOkA&ytsession=xT7FpRXS6W6kmfCeljN...
Is Red Rooster 21 lube, booze or a real estate company? I'm confused!
Funny but my GF says "thanks for the speed bump" after we have sex. Not sure what she means.....
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Jesus Christ. I know it may be futile, but I hope you guys are reporting this spammer fuckwad.
PS... I miss the crabsea undercatcher guy.
@Tigerlilly
Plenty drunken TL moments here...
Tigerlilly exposed!
Login: tigerlillydlisted
password: fuckery
www.youtube.com/watch?v=hVWNrYrtOkA&ytsession=B9lCvHq4zCZoWcxRo-4...
Submitted by lellykuick on Mon, 03/02/2009 - 8:56pm.
I'm embarrassed to admit it, but I'm super addicted to this show
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I missed the last few episodes, but watched this hot mess last night. Holy shit! It's like watching a train wreck, isn't it?
*blushes with you*
Speedbumping is illegal I think.
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Submitted by Tigerlilly on Mon, 03/02/2009 - 8:40pm.
Psssht...Yeah me too! What? What? What are you whores snickering at? *pulling lint out of tiger ass*...What?
Cashmere lint!
I'm embarrassed to admit it, but I'm super addicted to this show
Submitted by devilgirl on Mon, 03/02/2009 - 7:19pm.
"people who eat basil are lame"
People who are skanky whores are lamer! : P
PPL who eat skanky whores are the lamest of all.
Why the fuck would you pass out on a speed bump?
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She thought it was the other kind of "speed bump."
what a funny news, i d like to share it with my friends on www.daterichsingles.com
saying these bitches are retarded just feels so anticlimactic....
in fact every thing about them just screams anti climax!
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you would have to get better to be crazy....
Submitted by Mittmah on Mon, 03/02/2009 - 8:38pm.
I'm glad none of my drunken embarassments were
caught on tape like that!
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Psssht...Yeah me too! What? What? What are you whores snickering at? *pulling lint out of tiger ass*...What?
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
i have no idea who these fucks are, but had to lmao at, "People who eat basil are lame!"
hahaaa! thanks for sifting thru the lame and bringing us the funny, MK!
.
I'm glad none of my drunken embarassments were
caught on tape like that!
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Never go with a Hippy to a Second Location
I checked it out the other night. Why couldn't he get rid of all three of those sluts in one shot?! Tour ends here bitches ... it should've included the other two alcoholic whores Farrah and Ashley!
I'm surprised Brett doesn't have a permanent case of mono from kissing all these skanks. Who would introduce even one of these bimbos to their children?????
p.s. Loved when big John called them out for acting like slutty whores! I wonder if he gets Bretts leftovers... hmmm.
That speedbump now has herpes.
Submitted by Sandbitch on Mon, 03/02/2009 - 7:32pm.
I have seen her profile on ***wealthytigermeat . com*** it is the place on the internets for species to mingle with other species (sock monkeys), to share borax and catnip and bumhole shenanigans.
Dang, well done, y'all. A lot of real effort.
LMFAO bwahahahahahahahaha You fucking kill me.
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sometimes the appropriate response to reality is to go insane.
"That leaves you laying there, with your guts spilling out and all the booze leaking out of your system. There goes your buzz." HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!
Also, I am the Lamest Lame-o that ever limped. I don't just eat basil, I grow it! NOM
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Freedom costs a buck-o-fiiiiiiive
"St-stuff... stuffed CABAAAGEEEE..." should have been the Ashley-ism of the week. Bitch is so hot she needs her OWN rock of love tour! I hope we get an ASHLEY SPIN-OFF!
Submitted by M.E. on Mon, 03/02/2009 - 7:41pm.
Sandbitch - Nope. Just not in on the joke. LOL
===Neither is Tigerlilly. Hehehe.
Submitted by M.E. on Mon, 03/02/2009 - 7:41pm.
Sandbitch - Nope. Just not in on the joke. LOL
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Go ahead on and watch it M.E.
We can have nightmares together tonight...and you'll have to install a lock on your sock drawer like I did! ;-)
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I spend more time avoiding people I've known rather than wanting to re-connect and know their every movement.
--mike