Oprah Got A New Dog
Gayle King's main spooner adopted an 8-week-old blonde cocker spaniel from PAWS animal shelter in Chicago on Sunday, so says UsWeekly. The Mighty O picked the bitch from a litter of six.
Oprah's last main bitches, Sophie and Solomon, went off to heaven last year. She still has her two Golden Retrievers, Luke and Layla.
Okay, why wasn't anybody notified that Oprah was about to adopt another dog? My ass would have gotten on the next Peter Pan bus to Chicago and found a way into that shelter. Since it sounds like Oprah wanted a blonde bitch, I would've snatched Kim Zolciak's broke down dog wig and plopped it on my head. While inside my shelter cage, I'd wag my ass, slobber all over myself and wink my eyes a lot. I do that shit all day anyway, but I'd turn it up for Oprah.
You know her bitches have the best lives. They eat filet mignon whenever they want it, shit on cashmere and drink only the purest water that would make an Evian bottle weep. Not to mention that she probably thinks it's funny when you bite at Gayle's bagina. Who cares if I'd have to lick up Oprah's toe jam on a nightly basis. IN THIS ECONOMY, that's a small price to pay for a life of luxury.
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Gayle "have i mentioned in the past 5 minutes that I'm Oprah's best friend?" King.
She's not any FATTER or more of a PIG than Jessica whateverhernameis!.
“Gayle King's main spooner” and this... THIS is why I love you MK. Never afraid to state the fucking truth.
You make Perez look like such a pussy!
That picture screams "Goosed by Gayle."
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The First Amendment screams: FUCK OFF!-Momus
People need not to fuck with me right now!--jussayin
i hate it when dogs get people names. you don't see people with dog names do you?
I agree My names dog is Paisley
She must have the best pet trainers and dog walkers of all of Chicago. That makes it easy to have dogs.
PS;Yes I have a dog
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well...I like one of the two beatches in the shot
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Submitted by xerquina on Tue, 03/03/2009 - 5:19pm.
i hate it when dogs get people names. you don't see people with dog names do you?
...does it count when I call people bitches?
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you would have to get better to be crazy....
my dog totally shits on schedule and when I tell him to. My first dog was the best and he's a close second. The cat is sweet but talkative as all hell. I've got some awesome pets.
I wish the kid was like them....
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you would have to get better to be crazy....
"POPE"ra rules here in Chicago. All us bitches try to get into shelters on the off chance that cunt will adopt us!
Submitted by mike on Tue, 03/03/2009 - 6:38pm.
Submitted by xerquina on Tue, 03/03/2009 - 5:19pm.
Some ho said it on here before and ITA:
Kevin and Chloe are great pet names, esp. for cats. Or in the case of kevin, a dog.
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The First Amendment screams: FUCK OFF!-Momus
People need not to fuck with me right now!--jussayin
Submitted by xerquina on Tue, 03/03/2009 - 5:19pm.
i hate it when dogs get people names. you don't see people with dog names do you?
My animals have always had people names, and if I ever have a son (no plans), he'll be named for my late dog. No joke.
GotDAMN I love your photo choice, MK. That's all.
Which one is the dog? Seriously if I were that dog I would be really fucking worried that O is going to wake up in the middle of the night hungry for a fucking pork chop and have a crazed look in her eyes when she saw me.
Hey O, since Obama is fixin to take more of your money in taxes, how's about you float a few mill my way, we can arrange a "charitable" write off!
I am happy for her! Cocker Spaniels are great dogs. I have had two of them and will be getting another one soon.
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RIP, Dugan and Mr. Magoo!
Submitted by jim:" TRY NOT TO EAT IT, YOU FAT FUCKING PIG!!"
Bwaaah ha ha ha haha!
If it hadn't been for Christine the Hoff, I would have missed this gem. Totally made me laugh out loud AGAIN.
Jim, your words are like the mountains in springtime, a walk in the rain.
I really don't see this bitch giving these dogs a lot of personal time, the way you should.
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Im finding it a little strange that a Rescue org. had a litter of purebred Cocker Spaniels. Hmmmm I smell something fishy Oprah.
Eye roll.
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The First Amendment screams: FUCK OFF!-Momus
People need not to fuck with me right now!--jussayin
Submitted by Stock Broker: "...that's her original pooch that died a few years ago. She nagged it to death."
You just made me laugh SO HARD.
Probably because I can totally picture that.
Hooray! This is one of my all-time favorite posts, mostly because I'm picturing MK in a blonde wig crawling around at an animal shelter. Hee.
Another reminder that O is more powerful than Satan himself...lemme tell you. You have to pull some major strings to get your breed of choice, as a very young puppy, from a shelter. I've been waiting for a golden lab puppy from my local shelter (which has a much lower demand for dogs than Chicago shelters, where I used to volunteer) for almost a year and a half. If you want to be choosy, you can get what you want through a shelter, it just takes forever (unless you want a pitbull terrier or doberman pincher, in which case they probably have some for you right now).
Aw, good luck Oprah. I hope your cocker spaniel is calmer than mine. Woo he'll wear you out! But I LURVE my Presley. =)
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"All you need is Robert Pattinson and a handful of glitter." - MK
That's an VERY OLD photo of Okra....that's her original pooch that died a few years ago. She nagged it to death.
Name suggestions for her new dog:
Klondike Bar
Jenny Craig
Feel free to add
I doubt O has any free time to spend with pets...these are just accessories that are being raised and taken care of by dog walkers and pet sitters...nice life for the doggies but they probably won't even recognize her ass.
At least she picked them up at a shelter and did not purchase them from a breeder or a mill like those celeb skanks who shall not be mentioned (they already get enough publicity as it is).
You're gonna love my nuts! - Slap Chop Guy
What up with Okra's yellow eyes?
I love cocker spaniels!! So cute!!
I would hate to live with Oprah. She's too damned controlling. I bet her poochies are trained to shit on schedule so as not to incovenience her.
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"Oderint dum metuant." Gaius Julius Caesar Augustus Germanicus (aka Caligula)
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Oprah, please, adopt me instead!!! Hehehe!
Blubmitted by xerquina on Tue, 03/03/2009 - 5:19pm.
i hate it when dogs get people names. you don't see people with dog names do you?
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My birth name is Fuzzy.
Submitted by xerquina on Tue, 03/03/2009 - 5:19pm.
I had a friend in grade school who's dog had my name!
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'fuck you guys. i'm goin' home.'
Good for Oprah for adopting from a shelter!
Orca looks thin there.
i hate it when dogs get people names. you don't see people with dog names do you?
I wish I was allowed to have pets. I'd get a Yorkie... their poop is small.
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Get the cream
that looks just like my sister's dog, only lighter.
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"This is why I beat hookers" - Tig from Sons of Anarchy
Whos this fat girl?
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I think that's an OLD photos of Oprah. She's HUGE nowadays.
Does this mean that Stedman goes back to sleeping on the floor?
I'm just glad that Pat Sajak, Vanna White and Alex Trebek were at whatever this event was, at least in spirit.
What's up with O's yellow eyes? Jaundice?
Cute puppy!
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
TRY NOT TO EAT IT, YOU FAT FUCKING PIG!!
Yay for adopting from a rescue, O. Shelter dogs do need a voice, however.
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