Wednesday, March 4th 2009
You Too Can Look Like A Rabies Infested Raccoon Died On Your Head
In the new issue of some shit called Hype Hair Magazine, Kim Zolciak of The Really Broke Housewives of Atlanta gives hair tips. HAIR TIPS! Push me off the fucking tightrope, because I've heard it all!
Kim forgot to mention a few very important tips to getting her signature look. After you "release the curls," take the wig off your head, put it in a bag, go outside, find a rabid raccoon, throw it in the bag, walk to your dryer, toss the bag in and tumble on high for 45 minutes. When the timer goes off, pull your wig out (the raccoon should still be attached) and plop it on your head. Voila!
(Thanks Carol)
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Blond Bombshell?
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Um, um, Look to the cookie Elaine. Look to the cookie.
I'm suspicious of the "set THE hair" and "style THE hair" things. Why THE? Why not YOUR? It's your hair...right? That's what makes me feel like they're talking about weave.
Submitted by MAD on Wed, 03/04/2009 - 9:02pm.
no editor at that magazine? Reknowned is not a word.
*writing stern letter of correction to Hair Hype*
no editor at that magazine? Reknowned is not a word... .. hahahahahha
michael k ~ totally needed that GUFFAW !!!!!!! ~ you rock~
Omg michael you are the best, I haven't laughed that hard in forever. Thanks! I was having the shittiest day until I read this. Hair tips! Ha! next they will ask kanye's girl amber rose for hair tips.
Didn't Dallas Austin deny, in ALL CAPS, that he was not working with this delusional skank?
Yeah, he did.
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I want to live only till I die, no more and no less - Eddie Izzard
She's very familiar with rods.
What kind of GD name is Dallas Austin?
I should change my name to "San Diego Sacramento" or some shit.
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"Well, fuck me gently with a chainsaw. Do I look like Mother Theresa?" -Heather Chandler
LMAO @ MK ... that post was entirely too funny!
"THE 'REAL' Housewife, Kim Zolciak, is NOT WORKING WITH ME," blares the line at the top of the page (the ALL CAPS are all Dallas's doing -- quit yelling at us, Dallas!). He stresses that he and Kim aren't recording an album, a song, or anything. He even went to the trouble of creating a jpeg image of himself and Kim, side by side, with a second disclaimer that they're really not working together. It's in black-and-white, so it HAS to be true!
http://www.myspace.com/hes_so_blind
bomb shell?
more like just 'bomb'
is like me taking advice from Beyonce on her Loreal commercials....pfft
Give me a break!
This woman is living in absolute denial!
Her hair, nails, boobs, lashes, toe nails, forehad and brain have more plastic than Lego's Pirate Ship....
*Shudder* how she looks like without all the fancy dress at 6a.m.
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Making sure Camden stays cocou.
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Wow..bombshell?? Yeah, like those that fall during a war. I swear Kim is a WMD.
love the "animal stories" tag!
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Who in the FUCK do they think they're kidding? This cunt is clearly wearing a full wig!
Michael... you are so fucking hilarious it hurts sometimes! I love this
HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
i am a hairstylist and this is the translation for that old lady set:
a rod set is a perm.
shampoo that crap out
apply product, more rollers in and dry under a hooded dryer.
we all been taught know how NOT to do our hair. the perm prolly burned it all off;hence the dead animal wig on her fat head.
LMAO @ the blond bombshell comment.
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ILLEGITIMI NON CARBORUNDUM
And that model is beginning to freak me out a little bit because her arm looks about half gone, like she's one of Ty Ty's favorite freaks or something.
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Love,
Mabel
How little we understand what touches off that tingle,
That sudden explosion when two tingles intermingle. --Mrs. Kravitz
Thank you, Campbells! You're telling the jokes for me. --MK
Why don't people just come out and say the truth:
"If you wnat your hair to look like this, go to wilshirewigs.com and purchase the "Kim Z" in color X14-43...."
You know what I mean? Keep it real, people.
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Love,
Mabel
How little we understand what touches off that tingle,
That sudden explosion when two tingles intermingle. --Mrs. Kravitz
Thank you, Campbells! You're telling the jokes for me. --MK
no thanks. I'd rather wear Kimora Lee Simmons' signature neck alien..
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www.poe200th.com
Happy Birthday, in your kingdom by the sea..
hairstyleing tips...and do I have to bleach the F out of it too?
><)))))*>
where do I begin. talented..ehmmm..NO..working...ehmm.fuck NO..gorgeous hair and fierce style..I mean is that like a laugh out loud humor article? is this a real magazine? or did she pay for this ad to be put in..sad so sad
Who in the fuck owns a hooded fryer? (typo, it stays!)
Furthermore( i am using that word for the poster who claims if that word is used, someone thinks they are addressing the Queen of England) how can you have hair tips for a synthetic wig? She doesn't even have fine European hair extentions like Bret!
Working??
Working mother of two? Hahaha.
these people have no shame.
He Dicho! caso cerrado!!
How can a magazine about HAIR come up with new stuff to say about HAIR every month?
I guess this post is the answer to my question, because apparently they find D-list celebs and speculate about their hair and how it gets to look that way. I bet the person who wrote that blurb laughed their ass off.
LOL KD
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
Sensimina: "All we were ever meant to get out of Britney was her trodding around stage in whore outfits and lip synching."
I would rather take hair tips from this cat - http://kittywigs.com/pink.html
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CROCS are made in the devil's workshop. Yes, they are!
Now fess up, how many of you have one of those hooded hair dryers laying around? I don't have space to keep one of those things! And are "long rod curlers" aka curling irons? Cuz I've never heard of them.
Please tell me she isn't really releasing an album. Because if she does, I'm totally calling 911, like the chicken nugget dumbass.
Oh I see they made a attachable/detachable wig for ms potato head, That's lovely.
How can she even hold her fucked up wig covered head up...she's a moron... I'd die of shame...
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the end...
I thought Dallas Austin already said "HELL, NAW!" when asked if he was working with this bitch.
HAHAHA!! How much did she pay them for this shit?! She makes Phoebe Price look sane.
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CROCS are made in the devil's workshop. Yes, they are!