American Idol: Cherie Johnson Is Not Amused
I was about to write that this is the gayest season of American Idol, but then I remembered Gayken's season. Gayken has the power of ten thousand gays inside him. So this is the second gayest season! One of the bitches you can thank for that is Nathaniel Marshall and his PP-inspired headband. I just want to take that headband, stretch it back and then release. If it hits him in the head hard enough it might make his eyes pop out. Bitch always has those beady mole eyes!
Nathaniel really should have sang "Let's Hear It For the Boy," but he did Meat Loaf's "I Will Do Anything for Love." You know, I feel like Nathaniel stumbled into the wrong reality show. Bitch should be on RuPaul's Drag Race. While watching him skip around last night, I kept thinking that I really want to see him with a wig on his head and a big dress on his body. The gods above might have brought him into this world just so he could play Edna Turnblad in Haispray. He could play that role now until the end of his days. Bitch doesn't have a chance in Simon Cowell furry chichi hell tonight. He's out. Well, he's already out OUT (his wrist did the honors), but he's not going any further.
It's obvious that the two whores the judges popped jizz balls over are going on. Lil Rounds and Blind Scott sealed it up. They were both just alright. Not amazing. Just, eh. I had a hard time concentrating on Lil Round's voice, because I was so mesmerized by that ASS! I could serve Thanksgiving dinner for 12 on that ass. It's fucking amazing. As for Scott, he could have sang The Most Offensive Song from South Park and he would still get through. By the way, Paula Abdul has no idea he's blind, right?
The third spot will either go to that chick with bangs who was brought back from the dead or Jorge from Puerto Rico. If Jorge goes on, can they please bring a chola into his life to fix those eyebrows. It looks like Vadge's vintage sascrotch sat above his eyes. I just want to take an Epilady to those things!
And I am so over that Kara Dioguardi bitch! She doesn't open her mouth all the way when she talks and she always says, "I don't know what kind of artist you are." BITCH! They are going to be whatever artist the American Idol evil lords want them to be. They don't have any say. Ugh. Someone please sprinkle Vicodin dust on her, so Paula can throw her up in the air, catch her with her mouth and swallow her whole!
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"Submitted by RichBitch on Wed, 03/04/2009 - 5:41pm.
That blind cunt isn't even properly blind, he just pisses me off. And his pube head is annoying and fugly. AND he has a serial killer stare. Just fuck off already you annoying cunt!
Fuck, Idol sucks more than ever this year!
"
I guess you know better than he does how blind he is.
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You're the flaky crust on my shit-filled pie of life.
I'm actually glad that Tatiana made it to the Wild Card round. Why you ask? Because America will hopefully reject her a second time, thus proving that NO ONE likes her. Hopefully she will have a melt down on live television. Thank God this guy didn't make it. What an embarrassment to the community.
Thanks for posting.
Im loving this season of AI, and i do think is the second gayest.
BTW JORGE is soooo gay, i love him he can sing really well.
Please keep writing about the entire season.
WTF! That headband puts the 80s to shame... He passed gay two lightspeads ago.
xo
Rants, Thoughts & Merde
http://rantsthoughtsmerde.blogspot.com/2009/03/ugly-betty-set.html
Fucking Nathaniel. My roommate met him at All County and he made a christian girl cry for being annoyingly gay around her, the less we see of this kid, the better
Nate has such horrible fashion sense. He dresses like a 6 year old girl that is colorblind. Glad he didn't make it. His poor grandma has to live with him & listen to his horrible voice all day.
Stupid American Idol. Ju-Not(sp) was the only decent person last night. I thought for sure he'd been in the wild card if he didn't make it through.
This season is going to suck. It already does. Tatiana Del Toro? That crap is only for ratings.
All I can say is THANK GOD they brought back the hotness that is RICKY BRADDY!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HOT as HELL, GREAT voice and it's a real thumb in the nose of the producers as they barely featured him!
The guy looks like a star and sings like an ANGEL!!
RICKY BRADDY for top 12 all the way!!
Anoop and Tatiana and all the rest are one trick ponies.....now if only we could replace some of the folks that have already made Top 12 (AKA Michael, the annoying guy whose wife died and that pimps that out, the blind guy - sorry he just isn't a great singer, and that uppity Adam character that looks like he played in Neverland a few years too long!)
is that will ferrell's son??
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0006718/
is
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1125351/
Submitted by dramaqueen365247 on Wed, 03/04/2009 - 10:30pm.
You're right and I was shocked when Aladdin didn't make it in the top three. He was another one with a "I wanna give my family everything" story.
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Bye! Good
Being blind & having a dead wife are not the only sympathy-getters this year. What about "single mom" (& shitty singer) Alexis Grace? Or the oil rigger who wants to give his family a better life? It's all about sympathy this year. That's why my hat's in the ring for Adam. That bitch doesn't care. Did you see him tonight when Jorge was singing? Yes, he was standing (because everyone was), but he didn't clap, snap, "groove" -- nothing. AND he will out-diva Tatiyanna. I hope he steals all her makeup & hair product & locks her in a closet 1 hour before the show!
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"So? I'm intellectual and stuff."
"You're flunking English. That's your mother tongue, and stuff."
Submitted by TOPANGA on Wed, 03/04/2009 - 6:58pm.
Seriously, my ears are ready to commit suiced.
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Don't threaten funeral fairy with a good time, Top! :-)
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The First Amendment screams: FUCK OFF!-Momus
People need not to fuck with me right now!--jussayin
Nate is my homeslice because of the rabid side-eye he gave Tatiana early on. Love this queen!
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The First Amendment screams: FUCK OFF!-Momus
People need not to fuck with me right now!--jussayin
DAMN IT TO HELL, TATIANA DEL TORO IS BACK FOR THE WILD CARD ROUND!!!!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO............
It's the end of the world.
"Going gray is like ejaculating. You know it can happen prematurely, but when it actually does, it's a total shock." MAH BOO!!!
(^_^)(^_^)(^_^) May every Jack has his Jill. Still Don't have a date?
Check out______Mixed Friends. C o m ______
There are Over millions of profiles from all over the world!Everything is FREE!
Don't forget to tell your friends! (^_^)(^_^)(^_^)
Crap! Blind Scott just made it to the top three.
I am going to be pizzed if Ju'Not doesn't make it to the final 12. Forget all the blind guy and accent/no accent hoopla. Ju'Not was the best male voice last night...hands down.
Oh Michael K, yet another fabulous, fabulous column. I was LMAO at the end of the day, no small feat. I agree on just about everything -- but hope Jorge makes it. Yeah, I agree about those eyebrows which seemed to have a life of their own. I don't think blindness should be a ticket to the next round; only great singing. This group actually has too many good singers and last week's batch didn't have enuf. I even agree with you about Kara, who I liked in the prelims but now, she just makes it confusing.
That headband he was wearing was making Ryan so horny he wanted Simon to try it on.
He looks like Terry on Reno 911
richbitch your ass is very distracting, mesmerising
kara turned out to be more of a randy jackson type didnt she? a bit useless, immensely annoying
Submitted by LuLu Fitz on Wed, 03/04/2009 - 7:04pm.
and my man Adam is all over the internet kissing a guy am I the ONLY one that thought he was straight?
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That would be a yes!
Submitted by WinosNeighbour on Wed, 03/04/2009 - 5:44pm.
RichBitch....nice arse!
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Why thank you, it's very popular! ;-D
The judges have it bad for blind Scott and Lil Rounds. Ugh that name alone makes my skin crawl. So we have two sympathy votes Scott & Gokey Downey Jr., one big ass Lil and my man Adam is all over the internet kissing a guy am I the ONLY one that thought he was straight?
I went to high school with Nate! It's hilarious how he's infiltrating my entertainment (The Soup, Dlisted...) even though I stay far away from American Idol.
Submitted by jim on Wed, 03/04/2009 - 5:46pm.
IF YOUR A DUDE AND WATCH THIS FUCKING LAME SHIT, GO GET YOUR DICK CHECKED!!
Word, jim, word.
I have to watch this show and write a ten page term paper for my Media Management class..all the other whores in my class picked the good shows (and I'm still thinking of ways to off the bitch that stole the show I wanted, 30 Rock, I still have till the end of the semester so she better not sit anywhere near me for the next 50 days). Seriously, my ears are ready to commit suiced. None of these hos are stand outs to me and none of them are even the least bit appealing. Every week I feel like I'm being forced to watch bad karaoke at the local bar by gun point. And is it me or does the new judge give off a "I'm a slut" vibe, she always seems to have something sassy to say..who is this bitch anyway?! *Sigh* I think I just wrote the opening paragraph for my paper...*clicks open Microsoft Word..*
***"At your age, you're going to have a lot of urges. You're going to want to take off your clothes, and touch each other. But if you do touch each other, you will get chlamydia... and die." ***
Ju'Not is my favourite. The way he did "Hey There Dahlia" was perfect. Felicia Barton's my second favourite, and Jorge's the third.
The sightless contestant had the hottest brother. I tried to vote for him last night but he wasn't given a number so I just kept dialing 69.
Kara is a tool. She acts offended when they don't sing HER songs. ugh. Idol goofed when they brought her on board. Although...she makes Paula look like a genius!
All the people I wanted to get through are not. I voted for them like 50 times in one hour so I'm watching ANTM. There were numbers 1, 5 and 12
Kara is evil. Even Simon cant stand her. That spells e-v-i-l
蜘龍====================龍蜘
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(='.'=)
(")_(")
Last night sucked. It's like they saved all the "special" people for this week. I'd rather watch that old dude do the Alligator Dance for 2 hours.
i cant stand this rubber band head boy. the sooner he flits away the better.
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i dunno, it sells itself
lol @ the vicodin dust. I hate that Kara bitch! She acts like she knows everything, but you can tell how jealous she is that she never made it as a singer. She hates those kids! Also what's with the pastel makeup all the time?
Bender: Hey. What kind of party is this? There's no booze and only one hooker.
LOL my sister used to call me cherie johnson because I wore a headband like that as a kid of the 80's....oh the memories
IF YOUR A DUDE AND WATCH THIS FUCKING LAME SHIT, GO GET YOUR DICK CHECKED!!
I like the blind guy too. he's seems very sweet and genuine.
i do think he should wear glasses tho. is that unfair?
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'fuck you guys. i'm goin' home.'
That guy looks like a young Val Kilmer as Val looks now, only a young version. Could I be more redundant?
RichBitch....nice arse!
Nathaniel.....are those tats drawn on?
This band cannot be designed by fashion guru and en vogue Phoebe Price, it's Misha Barton's work!
:P
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Making sure Camden stays cocou.
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i really like the guy who sang Hey There Delilah.
If i voted i would've voted for him.
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'fuck you guys. i'm goin' home.'
That blind cunt isn't even properly blind, he just pisses me off. And his pube head is annoying and fugly. AND he has a serial killer stare. Just fuck off already you annoying cunt!
Fuck, Idol sucks more than ever this year!
Oh, and Lil Rounds does have a shelf ass, but I thought she looked kinda fierce in that fitted dress. Work it, girl!
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"Edwina's insides were a rocky place where my seed could find no purchase. " -- H.I. McDunnough
I did shoot my drink outta my nose when Blind Scott said "gimme a high-five, Ryan". His voice is just ok, but he clearly has a good sense of humor.
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"Edwina's insides were a rocky place where my seed could find no purchase. " -- H.I. McDunnough
ew this post was to long but I had to comment on the headband thing..this chick working at target was wearing one on monday...I was like wtf besides the fact that you are wearing a target uniform what the hell made you think this was gunna work?
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I need some sunny weather!!!!!