Friday, March 6th 2009

Zac's Condom-Filled Christmas!

When Zac Efron flips his hair, a new shade of Cover Girl concealer is born.

A little while ago, purdy Zac and Vanessa Hudgens were caught in the sexy times section of a Spencer's. When his mommy saw the pictures, she asked him what he was doing in a sex shop. Zac tried to tell his mom it wasn't a sex shop, but she wasn't buy it. Zac went on to tell Elle (via UsWeekly), "She's like, 'I knew you were being sexual!' But she understood. My stocking was full of condoms this Christmas. She buys me the economy box."

Um. You don't need condoms to play "Guess the rouge color?" with your girlfriend. If Mommy Efron really wants to make her son's lipstick pucker, she'd stuff a double-sided dildo into his stocking this Christmas. And yes, I meant it exactly the way I wrote it.

Speaking of condoms, I hope Zac was wearing one around his no-no when he talked to his ultimate boy crush Leonardo DiCaprio. The two sat next to each other at a Lakers game last year and Zac's seat must have been covered in tapioca at the end of the night. Zac said, "We talked the whole game, and he was just everything I thought he would be: smart, levelheaded, charming, hilarious. You know, the older-brother vibe. That sounds so cheesy."

That right there sounds like the opening scene of almost every gay porno. How many times do you think Zac has shouted "You're the king of my world" while Vanessa tossed his salad?

Posted by: Michael K


jiggywiddit's picture

In the headline pic dude is looking like the lovechild of Kevin Bacon and Michael Jackson.

Skeeeery!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The First Amendment screams: FUCK OFF!-Momus

People need not to fuck with me right now!--jussayin

lady shark's picture

This has gotta be a load of crap - homegirl's Jewish, no?

Well, he looks plenty manly there--going out to buff his mailbox.

NOT IMPRESSED's picture

I've tried to fight it, but I think he's really hot.

*hides*
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Douchechill!

Albatross's picture

"The two sat next to each other at a Lakers game last year and Zac's seat must have been covered in tapioca at the end of the night."

OMG - LMAO! Posts like this are why I've come to love Dlisted.

**********
"Jakey wearing a jock strap in the middle of a locker room filled with naked dudes." - MK

letinstar's picture

why doesn't zac have his very own "don't hate me because i'm beautiful" campaign? i'm sure he says that out loud every time he looks in a mirror...
_____________________________________________
nice ass...when does it open?

angel_i's picture

Submitted by Pauly Shore on Fri, 03/06/2009 - 2:34pm.

Submitted by angel_i on Fri, 03/06/2009 - 2:32pm.

Fabulous! *smooch!*
====================

I need a babysitter for two reasons.
I can't wash cloth diapers without vomiting and I haven't had any female intimacy in a long long time.

*********************************

So, um...is that, like, a job offer?

♥ ThreadKilla!
OCTOMOMMY STRIKES AGAIN!!!
Finally! February Highlights #1!
FUCK YOU, WMG!!!

TexnDoc's picture

If anyone has to follow in the "it-boy" Leonardo DiCarpio role, let it be him or anybody OTHER than Justin Timberlake. I couldn't care less, just not that douche in the fedora.

Miss Priss's picture

this boy is too purdy for my taste.

I don't really get the gay vibe from him either

◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘

I suck. What the fuck.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RbmO3KMCx5k
M.Ronson and Rivers♥

Happiness is warm gun

Miss Priss's picture

oh shit Aphid and xxyxz in da house today!!!

how are ya hors?

◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘

I suck. What the fuck.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RbmO3KMCx5k
M.Ronson and Rivers♥

Happiness is warm gun

M.E.'s picture

Pauly - yes smart ass, but sometimes women gain weight all around and can look pregnant in the ass instead.

clarketron's picture

BWAH ha ha ha ha!!!

yeah condoms for he and his boyfriend.

Love the planted story...as if we're supposed to assume, "oh well, then he must be having sex with Vanessa..."

um, his tween fans may buy that crap, but not the rest of us. he's having sex with vanessa like Tom cruise is having sex with Katie holmes.

Aphid's picture

Yoo too M.E. LOL @ "crotchfruit".

yepyepyep's picture

Mrs. Gosling
he pulls out
Frankly my dear, I don't give a Damn!! "Rhett Butler"

Zappy's picture

LOL @ Frito

Don't mess with the hormones. You will lose and quite possibly lose life or limb.

Pauly Shore's picture

Submitted by M.E. on Fri, 03/06/2009 - 2:32pm.

Zappy - thanks love! This one was ALL belly.
==================

Isn't that where they usually are?

Zappy's picture

I dun like boys that are too pretty. They have to have an edge about them.

FritoDorito's picture

Submitted by Zappy on Fri, 03/06/2009 - 2:31pm.
=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Reason # 4738472920241 you don't fuck with a pregnant woman. I love it.
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
"This is why I beat hookers" - Tig from Sons of Anarchy

Pauly Shore's picture

Submitted by angel_i on Fri, 03/06/2009 - 2:32pm.

Fabulous! *smooch!*
====================

I need a babysitter for two reasons.
I can't wash cloth diapers without vomiting and I haven't had any female intimacy in a long long time.

M.E.'s picture

Zappy - thanks love! This one was ALL belly. LOL.

Zac is just too "pretty" for me to find attractive. That and the fact he's only 19 fucking years old.

angel_i's picture

Submitted by Pauly Shore on Fri, 03/06/2009 - 2:30pm.

Submitted by angel_i on Fri, 03/06/2009 - 2:21pm.

PAULY! I MISS YOU!
Did you adopt an African child...?
===============

No my sweet angel. I adopted a Mexican one. Actually, not so much adopted as took. He taught me how to make tacos!

***********************************
Fabulous! *smooch!*

♥ ThreadKilla!
OCTOMOMMY STRIKES AGAIN!!!
Finally! February Highlights #1!
FUCK YOU, WMG!!!

Zappy's picture

You look good pregnant. I was as big as a house. Had an office manager (who looked like the cross between a troll, a hedgehog and a wild boar -just her face-) who told me on a daily basis that I was as big as a house. Finally, I blew and told her she needed to look in the mirror more closely because she wasn't exactly Grace Kelly.

Mrs. Gosling's picture

Submitted by yepyepyep on Fri, 03/06/2009 - 2:19pm.

wait you havnt been using protection for 6 years and never got pregnant?

____________________________________________
WOA four sacagaweas? Whered you get THAT??!!
...the post office

Pauly Shore's picture

Submitted by angel_i on Fri, 03/06/2009 - 2:21pm.

PAULY! I MISS YOU!
Did you adopt an African child...?
===============

No my sweet angel. I adopted a Mexican one. Actually, not so much adopted as took. He taught me how to make tacos!

M.E.'s picture

Aphid ♥ HELL NAW! No more crotch fruit for me!

Good to see you!

Aphid's picture

M.E.: I saw your avie and thought "Holy shit, I've been gone a while, she's about to have another baby!" but then I read that was an old picture. LOL. :)

OT: this fruit doesn't use condoms.....at least not with Vanessa or anyone else with a vagina. All those Christmas condoms are going to wind up being colored brown.

M.E.'s picture

Uhm, people! Condoms are more about preventing STD's then pregnancy!

Provolone's picture

i remember when 1st using condoms there would be a air bubble at the tip, to be taking it off and putting it back on trying to get rid of it really sucks the romance right out of a situation

+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
"gimme back that filet o fish, gimme that fish. what if it were you hanging up on this wall, if it was you in that sammich you wouldnt be laughing at alllll"

M.E.'s picture

Audrey - I was on the pill for 14 years. But in new relationships, even with the pill I used condoms till that bastard got tested.

And since I medically couldn't take the pill anymore, BH and I used condoms till he got the snip snip.

Here is the other pic in my avvie. Can you see the shelf belly?

joe shmoe's picture

Submitted by M.E. on Fri, 03/06/2009 - 1:56pm.
********
I peeked in one of those rooms once. *shock* there was cum flung all over the walls, the floor, the chair.
**********
That's the nightmare scenario I keep expecting to see everytime I open the door to the bedroom that my 15 and 13 year old sons share.

************
Bolloxology

xxyxz's picture

thank-you Angel-i
I think so too

angel_i's picture

Submitted by Pauly Shore on Fri, 03/06/2009 - 2:19pm.

Pulling out is a trickster's game.

*******************************

PAULY! I MISS YOU!
Did you adopt an African child...?

♥ ThreadKilla!
OCTOMOMMY STRIKES AGAIN!!!
Finally! February Highlights #1!
FUCK YOU, WMG!!!

angel_i's picture

I think, in HO-llywood, tho, there is way more of a concern with disease than pregnancy, yes...?

♥ ThreadKilla!
OCTOMOMMY STRIKES AGAIN!!!
Finally! February Highlights #1!
FUCK YOU, WMG!!!

Pauly Shore's picture

Pulling out is a trickster's game.

xxyxz's picture

I have an IUD and it works great for me

yepyepyep's picture

I hate condoms they feel icky at least to me, im not on the pill 6 years and not pregnant ever. Maybe I should get checked :P
Frankly my dear, I don't give a Damn!! "Rhett Butler"

gia's picture

Oh please, like they even use condoms...She is either totally on the pill or he pulls out...My best friends husband pulled out for years & years & she never got pregnant until they wanted it to happen.
I think Zac is very pretty, I actually like the way he looks.

yepyepyep's picture

grapedrinkbaby on Fri, 03/06/2009 - 2:10pm.

right across from our Spencer's was the fabulous clothing store, The Body Shop...it had the faux car doors on all the dressing rooms...THE AWESOMEST

the body shop near me is not cool like that

http://www.thebodyshop-usa.com/bodyshop/?cm_ven=newgate&cm_cat=google&cm...

Frankly my dear, I don't give a Damn!! "Rhett Butler"

The Audrey's picture

Submitted by M.E. on Fri, 03/06/2009 - 2:14pm.

Why not get on the pill? I'll be damned if I have to not only reach up in there to insert anything, but to dig it out too? Hell naw! I'd be resorting to kitchen tongs as a removal tool.

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♥*♥*♥*♥*♥* Grossness... *♥*♥*♥*♥*♥

M.E.'s picture

There is another one with a better angle to see the shelf belly, but it is darker and too small.

M.E.'s picture

Yep, ready to pop, trying to unpack from moving in and 3 year old steals camera. Awesome.

Zappy's picture

You're three year old has good aim. LOL.

The Audrey's picture

Submitted by M.E. on Fri, 03/06/2009 - 2:13pm.

Cute! I was wondering why the angle of the picture was so low! LOL.

*______________________________________________*

♥*♥*♥*♥*♥* Grossness... *♥*♥*♥*♥*♥

M.E.'s picture

I tried a sponge once and that was it for me. Fuck having to dig shit out of your vagina!

M.E.'s picture

Audry - yeah, it's me, I found piccys of me the day before I had my 2nd and my belly looked like octopussy's, like a shelf.

But you can't tell in me avie cuz its too small.

My then 3 year old took that pic. LOL

xxyxz's picture

I'm married... But if I were to get a divorce, There is no way in hell I would have unprotected sex . But you are right Provolone, They have been together for a long time

The Audrey's picture

Submitted by M.E. on Fri, 03/06/2009 - 2:09pm.

Hey, who's the pregnant woman in your pic? Is it you? Excuse my nosiness.

*______________________________________________*

♥*♥*♥*♥*♥* Grossness... *♥*♥*♥*♥*♥

Zappy's picture

LOL @ M.E.

Anyone remember those 'Today's Sponges' They probably named them 'today' because tomorrow you wonder where the hell they are:S

grapedrinkbaby's picture

right across from our Spencer's was the fabulous clothing store, The Body Shop...it had the faux car doors on all the dressing rooms...THE AWESOMEST

M.E.'s picture

I am SOOOOOOOOOOO glad that I don't have to use condoms anymore. Those fuckers fucking SUCK. Not only am I allergic to laytex, but I hated it when those fuckers slipped off and got lost up in you vajayjay and then you had to go digging around to get it, then spend the next 3 weeks praying for your god damned period.

UGH!