Dora The Sexplorer
Dora the Explorer got a hold of some illegal Fen-phen, lost a little baby chunk, got some extensions and moved to the big city to pursue her dreams of being the biggest prostitot in the game. Mattel and Nickelodeon released this teaser image of what the new Dora is going to look like. The new whory Dora will make her big debut in the fall. I'm sure her new implants would have healed by then.
The pimps of Dora said they gave her a newer tween look, so that she can grow up with her preschool fans. One of her pimps at Mattel told the NYDN, "Girls really identify with Dora and we knew that girls would love to have their friend Dora grow up with them, and experience the new things that they were going through themselves."
Dora's new foray into skankdom has parents all fucking mad. They think Dora should stay young and innocent, because that's why girls like her ass. One parent said, "If the Dora we knew grew up, she wouldn't be a fashion icon or a shopaholic. She'd develop her map reading skills and imagine the places she could go. It's such a sell out of Dora, of all girls."
I say, whatever to Dora growing up, but she should really go see a doctor. She might have some kind of mutant growth disease, because bitch's head takes up half her body! This is some Elephant Man shit. How is Dora supposed to work the ho stroll if her big ass head keeps causing her to topple over?
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If Dora grew up and moved to the city, she'd work at a fashion magazine as an assistant with bad braces and no fashion sense. Ugly Betty FTW.
it's interesting.I saw some new privacy news about them on billlionaire personals site """""""A f f l u e n t B a c h e l o r s . c o m""""""" Maybe it will have heavy influence on us. Just care.
For old farts like me, they changed Holly Hobbie too. I hate people. Now she looks more like Holly Hippie. Bastards.
Whora should come with a ball gag. All that bitch does is yell "I need your help!". Why does she have no voice modulation?
Boots should rip off her face and hands. That would make my day.
A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof, is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools.~
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@IV: Yeah, it's total marketing. What they're realizing is that preschoolers in 1990 will, likely, not be into the same things as preschoolers in 2000(let's say)...original artists move on, too, and the program's value changes, which hardly EVER works with kids' programming. They're about to lose her. Dora's losing popularity...and so, instead of making something new (cuz that is SO not the cool thing to do these days - do you have any idea how expensive creative strategists can be after paying all the lawyers and accountants???) they're tryna hold on to what they've already got.
Personally, I don't think it's gonna work. The first thing people like to do when they grow older is forget that they were ever younger. If they wanna try a comeback in 10 years maybe....cuz nostalgia is alright - just not that immediate reminder...
♥ ThreadKilla!
No one likes a black nerd, Darnell.
A DListed Youtube Gallery
Enter Whora!!
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The line between sex and society is so fine and blurred... even Amy Winehouse wouldn't snort it.
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Submitted by StainsDistantCousin on Sat, 03/07/2009 - 10:08am.
This is fucking stupid!
My daughter is 5 and has watched Dora for a few years, WHY ??? I dunno, I think she loves learning Spanish and the music is nice, but how the hell is my 5 year old growing up with Dora ?
to a tween??
she is 5!
bunch of greedy bastards,,
I realize Dora came out quite a few years ago, but I doubt those girls are still watching this preschool fuckery,,
just the preschool crowd finds it truly interesting because the questions Dora poses to the children watching and to the Map, well those questions are preschool level,, hehehehehe
growing up with fans?? that is total bullshit,, I'm sure some Pedo that works for Dora's ass has a hard-on for her and wants a more realistic doll he can rub his pedo-balls on,, grrrr,,,
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I totally agree with you, and you sound like my kind of parent. Dora cannot and should not compete with that Bratz fuckery, and yeah, this is a PRESCHOOL character. No one in tween years gives a shit about this, they're too busy giving blow jobs on the school bus.
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Chicago area 5K race 2009: http://rallyforautism.com/
Submitted by misskitty on Sat, 03/07/2009 - 12:11pm.
Why? Even if Dora was going to get older, why does have to wear a short skirt? Why not a pair of jeans?
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Exactly. I was just wandering around thinking the same thing. Or cargo pants, even, or tights... (altho, I do think she's wearing tights under that skirt but still!)
Why does her hair have to get long and styled. I've watched a LOT of Dora and it seems to me that fashion just wouldn't be high on her list of priorities. She seems, to me, to be more of a scholar and kinda sporty too....why can't she grow up to be that girl?
It's not like those girls don't grow up to be perfectly presentable women...
♥ ThreadKilla!
No one likes a black nerd, Darnell.
A DListed Youtube Gallery
Why? Even if Dora was going to get older, why does have to wear a short skirt? Why not a pair of jeans? Why would an explorer wear her hair down like that, why not pulled back in a ponytail? The whole thing has nothing to do with Dora growing up with her audience, it has to do with the usual slutting up of children's toys. If I could go back in time and change one thing it would be to make sure that damn Baby one more time video was never made. I really think a lot of this started with that damn video.... girls dressing like prostitots, bratz dolls and the sluttification of barbie, everyone having plumber crack.... (of course that was more to be blamed on 'I'm a slave for u'...). Why can't children be innocent anymore? What ever happened to actual children's clothes (not the adult clothes in children's sizes they sell now) and baby dolls and tonka trucks? I am showing my age now....
Lane, I have been going to this high school for 7 years. I'm no dummy.
Okay, I got ONE question, that I can't believe NONE of us thought about yesterday... WHAT THE FUCK ABOUT BOOTS??? Is he gonna be her pimp?
“You a motherfucker and ain’t all that.”
Hi MizRo xoxoxoxo. I feel what you feel on this.
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zomay: hello sweets and why?
Why can't anything sweet, educational, clean and appropriate be left as is? Commercialism is the root of much evil.
MizRo on Sat, 03/07/2009 - 10:46am.
Why must everything wholesome be tampered with?
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Exactly!
Why must everything wholesome be tampered with?
LMAO I feel sorry for fugly animals. Fugly (on the inside) people give me more nightmares :S
Submitted by Zappy on Sat, 03/07/2009 - 10:13am.
Your avatar, gave me nightmares , LOL
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"I'm ginna drezz mah baby in all bran namez 'n' if I can't afford it, I guess I'm ginna still it!" or "If mah baby losez its pacifier, I have three mo'!"
LMAO @ yiooooo
Your Barney avatar is making me wheeze. LMAO.
@ StainsDC
You nailed it wit the 'greedy bastards' comment.
It's always about the money. Sometimes I imagine these asshats sitting in a room conjuring up stupidity that people buy. And if we see it enough, we eventually succumb.
Like my new vibe on Mickey Rourke. I'd do him if he was in a body condom..
..or not.
I think this is stupid. I was piss off when they gave strawberry shortcake a new look and now they are changing dora. The reason Kids like her is because she has a big head and is chubby&short , she is cute that way. Cartoons are not supposed to grow up
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"I'm ginna drezz mah baby in all bran namez 'n' if I can't afford it, I guess I'm ginna still it!" or "If mah baby losez its pacifier, I have three mo'!"
This is fucking stupid!
My daughter is 5 and has watched Dora for a few years, WHY ??? I dunno, I think she loves learning Spanish and the music is nice, but how the hell is my 5 year old growing up with Dora ?
to a tween??
she is 5!
bunch of greedy bastards,,
I realize Dora came out quite a few years ago, but I doubt those girls are still watching this preschool fuckery,,
just the preschool crowd finds it truly interesting because the questions Dora poses to the children watching and to the Map, well those questions are preschool level,, hehehehehe
growing up with fans?? that is total bullshit,, I'm sure some Pedo that works for Dora's ass has a hard-on for her and wants a more realistic doll he can rub his pedo-balls on,, grrrr,,,
Manimal ~ LMFAO x 10!!!
I hate Mattel& Disney. They're a couple of greedy corporate whores who will pimp anything out to make a buck.
If they want to update Dora, she needs these accessories:
Stripper Pole
Dante the Pimp
Randy the Truck Drivin' john
Knee Pads
Lupe (girl on girl action figure)
Well, my sis was a lot older than me, and as a result I have a newphew who is only thirteen years older..
he will jizz in his pants, he always said he had a thing for hispanic girls.
www.daterichsingles.com
Like I've told my nieces...her real name is Dora the Whore-a
The greatest children's shows of all time have been kept great by silliness and stability. Sesame Street? Mr.Rogers? It's almost the same damn show every time, but with little changes. Children dont like change like this.
Sank you. Sank you berry muz.
I know nothing about this Dora slut-in-training. But I think I would have been traumatized for life if Charlie Brown had ever hit puberty and was found sneaking off to the boys' room to jack off to nude photos of the little red-haired girl. Or if Peppermint Patty had sprouted huge boobs, dressed up like Britney, mainlined heroin, and started giving blow jobs in the school parking lot in exchange for drug money. Or if Sally had been knocked up by Schroeder on top of his piano. Or if Linus had used his security blanket to engage in concealed bestiality sessions with Snoopy.
I'm a sick fuck. Sorry about the creepy visuals.
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For the love of all that is hairy, WHY DOES ANYONE CARE ABOUT THIS TWATWAFFLE??????? --Sugaroo
I am traumatized--my dau loves Dora. What in the hell are they thinking?
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Interviewer: You're playing one of the most famous characters in movie history. How come we don't see you in all the tabloids?
Daniel Craig: Because I don't want to be in them.
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Fri, 03/06/2009 - 10:26pm.
Dora should be exploring the crackhouses of Newark, NJ and cutting herself. Keep it real.
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So THAT'S why she needs the big head.. all the better to headbut you with, my dear!
Yep, there's definitely a mini wino look thing going on there (needs a higher hive though).
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Know why they don't play Rock / Paper / Scissors / Pussy? Because NOTHING beats pussy! -- Toom Viltrax
And is she wearing Amy Winehouse's slippers?? UGH
HAVE SOME DUMBASS WATER. - Charles Manson!
Well, it looks like her head got even bigger
This upsets me so much. I really am disgusted that Disney and Mattel have stooped so low. Look how short her skirt is. You can see the meaty part of her thigh, like really you can actually see the curve of her thigh to her hip. WTH? This sux ass. Just another way for them to make money. I hope they fail.
HAVE SOME DUMBASS WATER. - Charles Manson!
great. dora the explwhorer. why make her more tweenish? i thought she was supposed to be geared towards toddlers, preschoolers? next, you'll barney dressed in drag and big bird on sesame street corner dealing crack. ok - maybe that's a bit extreme.
i never thought i'd say this, but i'm glad i grew up as an 80's kid. toys/cartoons/shows, and life in general was much simpler back then.
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Submitted by barelybeagle on Fri, 03/06/2009 - 8:11pm.
Submitted by Salem13 on Fri, 03/06/2009 - 7:46pm.
Todays toys (not all but some) are so LAME. Nickelodeon was my everything growing up. Pete and Pete, Are you Afriad of the Dark, Alex Mac, The Busy Wordl of Richard Scary, Doug, Ren and Stimpy, Hey Arnold, Salute Your Shorts, the list goes on and on. The only redeming thing Nickelodeon has to offer is Spongebob.
Reading that list of shows brings back so many memories... Pete and Pete was the BEST. And does anybody remember Hey Dude? That show was so fucking stupid (but I still watched it)!
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Oh my f'ing goodness! I can't believe anyone else remembers those shows! Loved all of them, especially Pete and Pete, Are You Afraid of the Dark, Hey Arnold and the Hey Dude. I'm actually the proud owner of the two Pete DVDs--pure genius. That show was soooo severely underrated, but I remember a critic in the L.A. Times (I think) gushed over it and said it was better written than Seinfeld. I loved Hey Dude, because as a young teenager, that show had some really yummy looking guys on it (Ted, Jake my crush, and Kyle...oh my my my). Whenever I see Ben Stiller's face, I always laugh to myself that Melody married him, and then I wonder what happened to Brad? I remember many a Saturday night in front of the TV (SNICK) with my sibs watching Are You Afraid of the Dark. Oh, and Hey Arnold was also one of the best cartoons ever--it was well-written, funny and sentimental and I think everyone could relate to it.
As for Dora, I'm pissed about it because it was the new pop culture icon for my daughter's generation. Just like they didn't make Barbie into a fat, hirsute, post menopausal hag, they should just leave Dora for her demographic and leave it at that.
Submitted by Manimal5 on Fri, 03/06/2009 - 10:56pm.
May not work though, Dora is as intelligent as a cartoon character, Rihanna isn't.
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Fri, 03/06/2009 - 10:26pm.
Dora should be exploring the crackhouses of Newark, NJ and cutting herself. Keep it real.
Yes that would Dora the punching bag for the Chris Brown Slapaho tribe.
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Submitted by barelybeagle on Fri, 03/06/2009 - 8:11pm.
Submitted by Salem13 on Fri, 03/06/2009 - 7:46pm
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I watched all of that stuff growing up!
This Dora thing was bound to happen. They did the same thing with the Rugrats show a few years back. I hate Dora with a passion, so it doesn't make much difference to me. My daughter won't be watching either way. And I have always hated those stupid Bratz dolls too.
I'm waiting for the sockmonkey to weigh in on this issue.
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Tigerlilly exposed!!!1!
http://www.dailymotion.com/user/fluffybunnykins666/video/x8l7lj_shes-a-t...
Dora should be exploring the crackhouses of Newark, NJ and cutting herself. Keep it real.
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
I'm guessing Dora the Explorer is now sporting a huge pair of bolt on titties. I hear that in Hollyweird they start that shit at 11
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"This is why I beat hookers" - Tig from Sons of Anarchy
Submitted by angel_i on Fri, 03/06/2009 - 9:57pm.
Dora really should have grown up to be a lesbian boi whose love for Home Depot and Sporting Goods (I'd say MEC, here:) was her saving grace through all her adventures.
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Yeah, I think it's high time for a Dora The Home Depot Explora edition set...She'll come with a tool belt, a plunger and a charge card to Home Depot...Lil' Bulls can coordinate her flannel shirts to match her work boots! She'll have a mullet or a crew cut...that lil' bulls won't have to style...It'll be GREAT!
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Dora really should have grown up to be a lesbian boi whose love for Home Depot and Sporting Goods (I'd say MEC, here:) was her saving grace through all her adventures.
♥ ThreadKilla!
No one likes a black nerd, Darnell.
A DListed Youtube Gallery
She'll have Sharpie eybrows
Submitted by Mr. Mercury on Fri, 03/06/2009 - 9:21pm.
So, will the all-new Dora have tits or what?
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Pssht..No! You sicko! She will simply have little removable silicone inserts in her training bra...
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Submitted by shandi on Fri, 03/06/2009 - 9:19pm.
Wonder if they are going to make her more like a Bratz doll?
Sweet bleeding Jesus....I hope not!! We don't need no more fucking Bratz dolls. The talking Bratz "speak" out of holes above their asses. Their voices come from somewhere beneath their underpants. Kind of like Paris or Hohan.
"Rhoda, we're all aware that you're an adroit liar"
You'd think they'd look at the end of the Harry Potter cash cow and realize growing up = bad Capitalism. Like kids are really going to go into junior high thinking 'omg at least I can get a NEW Dora the Explorer backpack!'
So, will the all-new Dora have tits or what?
"Rhoda, we're all aware that you're an adroit liar"
Wonder if they are going to make her more like a Bratz doll?
I agree with the previous poster who said that there are STILL little girls being born every day. Dora doesn't need to grow up with her fans. The makers are just selling out.
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"Wait until the bitch finds the family of wombats living in her chocha." - MK
If I really cared, I would tell Dora's pimps that there's a whole new generation of girls coming up behind the ones that are getting older and to stay focused on that younger, age specific group. What, did girl babies suddenly stop being born or what? Why the hell does Dora need to grow up anyway?? I can tell the pimps from experience that tween girls couldn't give a fuck about maps. Meh. I guess we truly can expect a 50 year old Dora eventually then.
And they used Tatter Head as a model, right?.
Well, there's nothing parents can do about it but stop buying the stupid "Dora the Explorer" products their brats yell for. Consumerism is not pretty, anyway. Just how many parents were outraged when the Bratz dolls made their debut in the market and how many years they stayed there until Mattel made sure the Bratz owners were mashed into a pulp with that lawsuit?. How many parents let their girls run around looking like little Shitters sluts, Hannah Montana sluts, etc? so now Dora can't get slutty?. Meh.
Oh! They already "modernized" He-Man, Strawberry Shortcake, Transformers, etc. so I'm used to their fuckery.
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-"I am not about to deal with unstable people" - HEART ANGELINA.
Submitted by NaNoop on Fri, 03/06/2009 - 8:48pm.
LMAO! Good one!
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Submitted by DeeDee on Fri, 03/06/2009 - 8:47pm.
LMAO Mani!
Dolores with a Large Clitoris
Hahaha. and maybe Hairy Mary! Ok maybe not.
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