Open Post: Hosted By Barbie
Barbie turns 50 years old and the ho hasn't aged one bit thanks to all that plastic in her face. Barbie was a major part of my childhood. In case you couldn't tell, I played with that slut when I was a young homo. In fact, one of the first things bitches say to me when they meet me is, "You played with Barbies as a child, right?" And how!
I had one main Barbie. I stole it from my sister and that skank went everywhere I did. She was also the biggest slut on the block. She effed every G.I. Joe and Transformer doll in the neighborhood. She would sex them without even knowing their names! After a couple of months of doing slut shit with dudes, my Barbie started humping on other Barbies and even my Catra doll. A little while after that, I turned her into a full-on punk dyke by chopping off her hair and using a marker to color it bright green. She met her demise when one of the dumb whores in my neighborhood ran her over with a lawnmower. Poor skank. But she did pass down her life motto to me: Fuck everything and everyone!
I'm sure you all have your own Barbie stories, but that skank spread her no-crotch everywhere!
Below are some pictures of a life-size Barbie cake in Sydney. That thing still looks more life-like than Nicole Kidman!
Wireimage
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Holy hell! ANYTHING good going on???
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James Haven and Angie used to love playing Barbies! James Haven of course had a GI Joe because he does not play with dolls. One day in Angie decided that "Joe" should be a serial killer and cut off Barbie's head and limbs!
James Haven was appalled but feared that Angie might decapitate his GI Joe so he followed her orders. When Daddy Voight came home with Uncle Dusty for dinner, Uncle Dusty shrieked with horror and all the headless Barbie's lying around.
James Haven was sent to bed without any dinner and was forced into therapy for eight years.
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See James Haven in an Oscar winning performance!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w9cKFiCrSU
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IRV!!!!! We got us a shot of Irv on Dancing With the Has-Beens (and Never-Weres)
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'K, MAH PUSSY IS HANGING OUT!
http://www.myspace.com/luscious_t_999
I am going to rant about something and while no one will probably care or even read this, I have to rant!
Tonight I hear barking outside (Not from my dog) and I go to ck out what is going on, and there is this little Shih Szu looking pup hanging out with my dog. It's got a collar on, naturally NO TAG, it's clean, no tangled hair, seems well fed. So I make my dog come in and hope the little guy is just going to make it's way home. Nooooooooooo! I go back out a few hours later and he is still hanging out. So I decide to drive to a few homes near mine to see if he belongs to them. Nooooooooooo!And nobody has any idea who might own him. Now I live in the sticks, so I am not sure if someone dropped him off, knowing I have a soft heart (I have had many animals "dropped" off at my house) or if he is really big time lost and far from home.
My dilemma is: Do I leave him outside tonight and hope he goes home? Do I put him in his own basement quarters until tomorrow and then take him to The Humane Society in hopes that they have someone who has reported him missing? (the dog pound here loves to put animals to death, so I can't take him there)I don't want to trap him inside in case he does live close and can make his way home, but I also don't want some disgusting hillbilly to run him over (a favorite sport of the hillbilly race). GOD! Why do I have to have a heart???????????!!!!!!!!!!!!WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I hope he is gone, on his way home, safely! *fingers crossed*
Barbie is an icon and I, for one, love her.
Ken needs to get a peen!
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The line between sex and society is so fine and blurred... even Amy Winehouse wouldn't snort it.
http://www.myspace.com/triston
Dead Animal Story:
Ok, this is way gross. So warning.
This weekend my parents had their estate sale. Well, my mom hid whole bunch of lattice for me up at the top of the yard, behind the pigeon coop. (The back yard is a big graded hill) so, BH and I start making out way up there to see how good of shape it's in and we get around this big bush and there is a dead deer. It had been there, for a while, rib cage with a bit of flesh still hanging on it, maggots in the mouth, it's guts were in a pile infront of the head. It was so gross. So we quickly go around it and proceed up the hill, and we get about 5ft away and THE SMELL!!!!!!!!! I barfed and ran back down the hill dry heaving.
I could never be a cop, CSI, coroner. The smell of death is so, SOOOO awful.
Submitted by devilgirl on Mon, 03/09/2009 - 4:56pm.
And the winner of the dumb bitch of the day contest goes to:
Woman Accused of Taking Pot into Prison
The woman was there to visit an inmate, when prison guards said they saw her pass something to the inmate.
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At least she didn't bogart. :-)
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you can probably have a more reasonable conversation with a fucking burnt rutabaga than with that bag of crazy.--MK
Chris Brown just needs the SHIT BEAT OUT OF HIM!
P.S:
YES, there is a Licking Mo and they have a high school football team called the Licking Tigers.
Submitted by fuzzyslippers on Mon, 03/09/2009 - 4:40pm.
WAIT A TICK! Chris Brown is an asshole:
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,507046,00.html
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thanks for the link, fuzzy - i signed the petition to remove chris brown from nomination for nicklodean awards. adults need to take a stand on this shit.
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i know you like to think your shit don't stink
but if you lean a little bit closer
see, roses really smell like boo boo
And the winner of the dumb bitch of the day contest goes to:
Woman Accused of Taking Pot into Prison
Monday, Mar 9, 2009 @12:53pm CST
(Licking, MO) -- A woman visiting the state prison in Licking, Missouri finds herself locked up behind bars.
Prison officials at the South Central Correctional Center say a 25-year old woman from the St. Louis area was arrested Sunday for allegedly bringing marijuana into the prison.
The woman was there to visit an inmate, when prison guards said they saw her pass something to the inmate. When the prisoner was searched, the pot was found.
The woman is being held in the Texas County jail in Licking, pending the filing of formal charges of delivering a controlled substance into a correctional facility.
WAIT A TICK! Chris Brown is an asshole:
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,507046,00.html
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"I'm going to count to three, there will not be a four. Give me... the code." Hans Gruber, Die Hard
I need a new pair of panties just thinking about this.
Submitted by KD on Mon, 03/09/2009 - 4:14pm.
That's really sad. I've been a TR fan for YEARS (played all the games) and personally, I think that the computer Lara is way hotter than AJ. AJ just looked so goddamned FAKE in the movie. Plus those big ass roid lips. *yugh*
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"I'm going to count to three, there will not be a four. Give me... the code." Hans Gruber, Die Hard
I need a new pair of panties just thinking about this.
One of Barbie's kids looks like the Chucky Doll but with darker hair. LMAO
Stoney - It was long as a mofo, but I didn't hate it either
*ducks under desk*
I rented Changeling last night.
That shit fest was long as crap.
But itwernt all that bad.
*hides*
ahem *changes subject*
I just remembered something! I was reading that the new Lara Croft Tomb-raider video game really underperformed in sales. They were expecting it to be a lot more popular but it wasn't. I think that it's because people associate Lara Croft with Angelina and people are freakin' tired of that ho, so nobody wants to get that game.
Submitted by snowpiece on Mon, 03/09/2009 - 3:58pm.
i'm outtie have a good one
Bye Snowy you funny girl!
Have a good evening!
Have a good one Snowy!
Please tell me the skank is barren. I can't think of that whore spawning.
It crawled away.
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She's flat and that's that!
i'm outtie have a good one
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"HOLD YOUR HORSES, BONSAI!"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yGjFSYuJ8xM&feature=related
Do we need to tent this thread?
*sprays raid*
Jesus.
thanks DG ♥
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"HOLD YOUR HORSES, BONSAI!"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yGjFSYuJ8xM&feature=related
nfw
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She's flat and that's that!
Submitted by snowpiece on Mon, 03/09/2009 - 3:46pm.
I am still laughing! I left you a msg over at the Caption this contest thread!
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhhhahahahahahaaahahhahahahahahaahaahahahahhahahahahah
I fuck with no condom sometimes, but I'm guess I'm not young or skanky enough to call it "a raw"
*drinks metamucil, shuffles off to bingo*
ugh
You are only on day 36 of your cycle. You are NOT a week late.
*not believing I just counted out your cycle*
i think it means no condom, right? ~ raw
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"HOLD YOUR HORSES, BONSAI!"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yGjFSYuJ8xM&feature=related
DG: It was "You think this is scary? Wait till it starts telling you about how it likes to get choked"
;P
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"HOLD YOUR HORSES, BONSAI!"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yGjFSYuJ8xM&feature=related
Submitted by Stoney on Mon, 03/09/2009 - 3:43pm.
What in the goddamn fuck is a raw?!
Skank.
-----------------LMAO!
Bitten- if you haven't been bitten since mid january, then I'm sure you have nothing to worry about. If you are stressed out about something that could do it.
Submitted by KD on Mon, 03/09/2009 - 3:43pm.
Yes, but it doesn't come the same day every month, like every 21st of the month, is what I'm trying to say.
Submitted by snowpiece on Mon, 03/09/2009 - 3:39pm.
DG did u see my caption?
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No, I am gonna go look!
*runs next door*
What in the goddamn fuck is a raw?!
Skank.
Mine is like clockwork too. 28 days, exactly minus 4-8 hrs.
DG did u see my caption?
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"HOLD YOUR HORSES, BONSAI!"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yGjFSYuJ8xM&feature=related
How many miles of plastic dick has that ho sucked?
Ok, once that's just fucking impossible and retarded, once. Months have different numbers of days. Remember, February was a short month. Your cycle is normally only 28 days and can vary as much as plus five days after that, so the day you start generally varies from month to month, especially if your period is supposedly like clockwork like you say...
Again, months have different numbers of days.
Submitted by Flatsy on Mon, 03/09/2009 - 3:35pm.
DG, you're not teh crazy one
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Hahaha! Although some may disagree with you!
DG, you're not teh crazy one
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She's flat and that's that!
Love Barbie! I used to color her hair with nail polish. I gave one of my Barbies the Rachel. I was weird.
Submitted by Flatsy on Mon, 03/09/2009 - 3:32pm.
DG, looks that way.
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Ok. I thought I was maybe going crazy or something!
DG, looks that way.
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She's flat and that's that!
Submitted by TOPANGA on Mon, 03/09/2009 - 2:49pm
I have Wachovia also and one time I overdrew... I had no idea until they sent me a notice via snail mail that I had overdrawn. By then, I had to pay like $105 dollars on fees ($35 a day). I was pissed because those motherfuckers know my email address and phone number. Why couldn't they just notify me then? Or notify you when you're about to overdraw money. That shit (overdrawing $) never happens to me... that's why I had not checked my account in days. Now I check that shit like every other day 'cause I don't trust those fools. Even if I hadn't made any purchases, I check that shit.
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Get the cream
LOL devil.
Submitted by once bitten on Mon, 03/09/2009 - 3:26pm.
Sometimes you're just late. And if you want to get an a word, then do it and don't let anyone tell you it's not your choice. You were cautious but sometimes shit happens.
Is there a roach up in here?
*grabs Raid*