DWTS: A Postcard From Hell
Last night's premiere of Dancing with the Sores gifted me with the most horrific image that is now burned into the side of my brain. This is what I will see hanging over my bed of nails in my cell in Hell. There will be a frame made out of CROCS surrounding it.
Why did that hot dick from Sex and the City have to run his finger in between CHERYL BURKE'S stale donut balls? You know she put him up to that illegal shit. Horny ass CHERYL BURKE was practically foaming at the mop head over him. I'm pretty sure that next week she's going to choreograph a dance which involves her licking his taint. Mop Head is so transparent. I just want to wring the filth out of her! And there's a lot.
The rest of the episode played out like an episode of fucking Identity. Even when they played their bios, you still had no fucking idea who the bitch was. Like that boring fucking ho from The Bachelor who I just want to forget. This ho made Holly Madison look like the most accomplished whore in the world. You know it's a fucking mess when Harold Wheeler, the musical director, is more famous than one of the stars. Of course, the bitch was good. First of all, her ass is a damn ra-ra cheerleader. Second of all, she doesn't have a damn job so she can fucking practice all day and all night! It's not fair. But I hope the producers get wise and dump her ass in the next couple of weeks. And you know they are going to bring Jason back on to do the honors. They are milking that Bachelor shit.
As for the whores who didn't cause my eyes to roll like I was fucking Wino after a heroin fix, there were only two. That was Lil' Kim and The Woz. My eyes didn't roll with Lil' Kim, because they were too busy trying to figure out her face. HER FACE. I just want to throw a q-tip at her and watch her go crazy. She's like a surprised cat 24-hours a day. If you threw a sombrero on her head and placed her on the It's A Small World ride at Disneyland, nobody would even suspect she doesn't belong. Because of this, she's actually entertaining to watch. And I'm just waiting for the day her face finally pops off and goes flying through the studio like a frisbee.
Now for The Woz. The Woz! He's like Teddy Ruxpin on massive amounts of ludes after getting a 20-man train ran on him. From his first step to his last, my mouth was wide open. It was a fucking glorious wreck. He needs to do weddings and funerals. And the fact that he was paired with Karina Smirnoff Ice made it even better. The Woz better win this shit or at least stay until the end. The world needs to see him shake that hairy bear ass during the mambo. Click here if you missed this beautiful disaster.
My prediction on who is going back to irrelevancy next week is: Denise Richards or Belinda Carlisle
My prediction on who CHERYL BURKE will work her black magic on next is: Holly Madison
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OK while everyone was watching the Woz try to dance did no one else notice that Karina's ASS was showing through her transparent outfit?
MK, normally I agree with you on every post however..............Melissa does have a job. She is a pharmaceutical rep! Melissa and the sex and the city guy were GREAT.
Having been a dancer (ballet) for 19 years I thoroughly enjoy watching these people make total fools out of themselves. Belinda Carlisle, Woz and Denise Richards were PAINFUL to watch!!!
What I don't understand is why anyone would want to be on this show having NO rythm or dance experience.
PR is a big price to pay!
Is she wearing a bridle because I swear I can see a bit in her mouth.
Submitted by twosie on Tue, 03/10/2009 - 8:57pm.
Oh fucking lighten up you twat. You have been on this site for 32 weeks!
I <3 MK
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Dick happens! - MK
woz!!! months ago a friend told me a online dating site *******sugarbabymeet.c o m where people are wealthy and
they're looking for companionship romance or love. ....maybe we can keep in touch and make friends on this
site
Me suspects "the Woz" might enjoy putting on the dress rather than that man-suit. Those were some flipping wrists!
Go Woz!!!_______________________________________________
I'm countin' on Jesus at this point.
Michael K, you've got balls making fun of Melissa. What is your job? Your fat ass is sitting in front of the computer all day. You probably have hemorrhoids the size of a jawbreaker.
I hate this fucking show, it's so lame that the only time I watched was when the lame-o WAS on! As soon as Heather Mills was shown the door, I stopped.
But DAMN! Woz is GOOD! FUNNY and good! I hope he wins and puts all the slim-Jims to shame!
Lil' Kim watched this show from prison and knew it was her dream. Are you serious? My brain is hurting just thinking about it.
He should have studied the dance scene with Salma Hayek and Ashley Judd in Frida. Now that was finger-down-the-sternum done right.
Denise Richards has HUGE man hands!
"That shit would be all up in your possum pie and glazed donut hole."
My name is EvilShoe and I have never watched a single episode of this shit show. I'm proud of that.
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Dick happens! - MK
What??? The Woz did not miss a step!He must win this!
"I will never sleep with you,never ever!"
"This is what I will see hanging over my bed of nails in my cell in Hell. There will be a frame made out of CROCS surrounding it."
This made my day and i didnt even read the rest of this!
I love me my Ghetto Black Barbie. Finally a venue were L'il Kim can wear her house clothes.
Black barbie is growing back into her face. Seriously, before going to jail, her face was JACKED UP now it looks sculpted and it's softening up a quite a bit. I turned to 24 right after she danced. Kimberly Jones FTW!
Dammit, MK. I'm always forgetting to change my piddle pads before I come back here.
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"Let's play leapfrog. You stick it in and see how far you can jump over my head."
She's a beautiful woman.She's so gorgeous. I love her. I saw her profile with photos and videos at ___S e e k r i c h . c o m___ I also found her blog there.It's said that she's seeking for a rich man to be the BF ? Is that ture ???
<"Submitted by luscious_t on Tue, 03/10/2009 - 4:54pm.">
Bebe will win because last night one judge said of her "she's the only one who can continue the RuPaul glamour...." and RuPaul nodded. Unless she messes up a challenge bet the farm on Bebe with Nina runner-up.
letinstar on Tue, 03/10/2009 - 5:02pm.
this show is an embarassment to all humans..and all creatures that breathe...
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200% agree.
I was surrised to see how un-co Denise was - truly awful.
I was nOT surprised to see her crazy wasn't simmering far beneath the surface.
Morbid. My dog's name is Morbid.
Belinda Carlisle has my vote. After Gilles and mophead I stopped watching, I only wanted to see his hotass.And he did not disappoint.
this show is an embarassment to all humans..and all creatures that breathe...
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nice ass...when does it open?
people watch this crap?
Submitted by TexnDoc on Tue, 03/10/2009 - 4:49pm.
*****
FINALLY! I've been trying to talk about this shit for over a week now! How the fuckity fuck could they have booted Ongina last week? omg - and I'm sorry, attitude or not, Shannel was - would it be trite to call her fierce? lol I'm glad you agere w/ her (and me) because I DO think it was bullshit that she was always getting beat up by the judges. She should have won that challenge when she juggled down the runway.
I don't want Bebe to win, though - I really think it should be Nina Flowers. But I'll take Bebe over Rebecca Glasscock ANYDAY!! It's a joke she's still there. She and Shannel were the typical reality show villains, though, so i get it.
*****
'K, MAH PUSSY IS HANGING OUT!
http://www.myspace.com/luscious_t_999
Submitted by snowpiece on Tue, 03/10/2009 - 4:47pm.
*****
I'm only there for Holly - but then, this lonely fat girl can't be arsed to vote. lol
Li'l Kim for the win!! :D Let's do it for all the convict hos!
*****
'K, MAH PUSSY IS HANGING OUT!
http://www.myspace.com/luscious_t_999
RuPaul's show (of much greater importance and social significance) is down to the final 3. Not sure but next week may be the finale. Rebecca Glasscock, Nina Flowers, and Bibi (and there's your 3rd, 2nd and 1st place). Lots of drama last night as bitchy queen Shannel told RuPaul she did not want to continue the show because judges never awarded her winner of any challenge and seemed to go overboard in critiquing her. Shannel was right! Especially the male judge always tried as hard as they could to be complimentary to all but her.
Submitted by luscious_t on Tue, 03/10/2009 - 4:43pm.
but you know all the cat ladies and lonely fat girls will all be supporting her.
++++++++++++++++
why you gotta talk about the dlisters like that!?!? :P LOL
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"HOLD YOUR HORSES, BONSAI!"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yGjFSYuJ8xM&feature=related
Belinda is definitely going home, MK. Holly, the Woz, and Jewel's husband will get pity votes. Belinda didn't do bad enough or good enough to stay. I mean I know she was hot shit with the Go-Go's, but she wasn't memorable enough last night to warrant staying.
As the official spokeswhore of hell, I can truthfully tell one and all, that nowhere in the firey depths of this place will you be tortured with the graven images of Mop Head.
While the soothing sounds of Yanni and Zamfir greet you upon arrival, I can assure you the cruelest form of torture you may find lies in the standard issue pair of Crocs footwear each new arrival receives.
We cannot condone or support anything with Mop Head's likeness upon it.
That is for the fools in Purgatory!
-Devilgirl
It has to be Belinda or Woz. ...but both are entertaining - I'd like to see that Melissa nobody go, but you know all the cat ladies and lonely fat girls will all be supporting her.
*****
'K, MAH PUSSY IS HANGING OUT!
http://www.myspace.com/luscious_t_999
Steve O's on this shit! LOL, do they have an on-site meth lab or something?
Also, I feel very satisfied knowing that Holly Madison can't dance.
Holly Madison was horrible, she hasnt an ounce of rhythm, just like I thought, and I love it.
Steve O looked good, but cant dance for shit, it was a slow moving trainwreck and I will be staying tuned.
NOT BELINDA!!!!!!! I voted for her the maximum 12 times. She's staying!
i agree i dunno why the fuck melissa is getting so much tv time, oh yea i forgot abc owns her ass...LT better win damnit! maksim is so f'n hotttt
http://r-e-ana.livejournal.com/
MK.
I sent you pictures of Christian Bale's teeny tiny Willy and you're coming up with this post???
Yawn.......
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Mah pussy is hanging out of her fucking scratch tree.
ha ha MK thanks, the Woz was pretty amusing. I don't watch this meemaw show either.
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"HOLD YOUR HORSES, BONSAI!"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yGjFSYuJ8xM&feature=related
Where's the pics? I'll never watch this show but I wanns see Lil Kim's face. My stomach is empty. I can take it.
蜘龍====================龍蜘
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