Thursday, March 12th 2009
Open Post: Hosted By The Shoe-Fucking Turtle
No, this isn't a sex tape of JLo and Skeletor shot the night they conceived the Dragon Tale Twins. Although, I totally thought it was. It's a turtle air fucking a slutty ass shoe and make it his whore!
Was the close-up of the turtle's peen really damn necessary? It reminds me of my last boyfriend. So does the baby coo it makes while it's trying to hit that shoe from the front. I went through several "therapy" sessions with Dr. Jack Daniels to forget that horrific memory. It kind of looks like a claw on Parasite Hilton's feet.
(Thanks Stephanie, THANKS)
• 
He sure could pleasure a lady turtle. Us humans have it hard, his peen is a good nice size. Jaysus this make me cry!
((((triscuit)))) stay strong
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People need not to fuck with me right now!--jussayin
I'm a Single Bi MAn... want to find a bi-friend, Do you the one? Let's chat on Bi-Community B i g Bi S e x u al . C o M now..
Submitted by EveryStrangersEyes on Thu, 03/12/2009 - 11:53pm.
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♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
(cause 8 is my favorite number,so you get 8 hearts)
MUAH!
Submitted by Triscuit on Thu, 03/12/2009 - 11:49pm.
i'll stick around for a while lookin' for ya... keep good thoughts, i wish you and your poppa the best... don't(i can't believe I'M saying this) drink too much, dahlin'!
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"We play the game,
with the bravery of being out of range."
ESE-someone told me to make sure he eats,cook for him(when he goes home) and bring him his favorite things.I am gonna get some more beer......I'll get w/ya later!
Thank You and you know I ♥ You!
Submitted by TITS on Thu, 03/12/2009 - 11:38pm.
keep shakin' 'em, hun... i may need a pick me up!LOL!
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"We play the game,
with the bravery of being out of range."
Submitted by Triscuit on Thu, 03/12/2009 - 11:41pm.
i guess my advice(at least for the moment) is... finish your drink... and then another... then in the morning you, in the haze.. figure out how to deal.. me, i made sure while my dad was in the hospital he had all the music he likes playing constantly!
... and i got to be the one to tickle his feet to make sure he moved around a 'lil!
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"We play the game,
with the bravery of being out of range."
Submitted by EveryStrangersEyes on Thu, 03/12/2009 - 11:38pm.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
DoooDe
I live 10 mins away!
Yes VERY close Italian family.
They didn't want me to get REALLLY fucked up I guess,not that I am not drinking my fucking face off now.
Ya know?
I have No coping skills when it comes to this shit.
Submitted by Triscuit on Thu, 03/12/2009 - 11:35pm.
hey! you're the same age as me and the baby of the family!
oh yeah, i can relate... when my father got sick nobody called me till he was on morphine and a ventilator(sp?)
do you live close to him? are you close with him?
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"We play the game,
with the bravery of being out of range."
Submitted by Triscuit on Thu, 03/12/2009 - 11:29pm.
you guys
..I need to vent a little.
Anyone there?
*
Vent away. I love your stories!
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
Tigerlilly exposed!!!1!
http://www.dailymotion.com/user/fluffybunnykins666/video/x8l7lj_shes-a-t...
Hey BabyBoy!
♥SmOOOtcheS♥
I got some really BAD news recently.
My Daddy has prostate cancer,stage 4,3 months to live.I am 32,the baby of our family, and these fucks decided to tell me just last week!
Granted they(my other 4 siblings and Mom)only knew for about a week prior,but wtf?????????
Now he is in the hospital for fucking blood clots in his legs and chest!!
How much can one Bitch take,ya know??!!?
Submitted by Triscuit on Thu, 03/12/2009 - 11:29pm.
you guys
..I need to vent a little.
go ahead, i dare ya!
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"We play the game,
with the bravery of being out of range."
you guys
..I need to vent a little.
Anyone there?
Dicks, pubic hair dye and drug talk.
Have I missed anything?
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
Tigerlilly exposed!!!1!
http://www.dailymotion.com/user/fluffybunnykins666/video/x8l7lj_shes-a-t...
johnnysgirl,
I think the worst sex in the animal kingdom is cat sex. It's more like cat rape. Male cats have barbs on their penises. Once they chase a pussy down if they manage to get it in there all the bitch can do is howl b/c if she tries to move away before he's done the barbs dig into her. Blech, I'm glad we're one of the few species that get to have enjoyable sex. We humans and those lucky dolphins.
P.S Lifetime is showing "What's Love got to do with it?" Maybe hoping Rihanna will catch a glimpse while channel surfing and avoiding blows
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"If you're going through hell, keep going" ~ Winston Churchill
@Sandbitch: Hiya! You still out there?
Would you like to make friends with people from other country or place?
Log on $$$ Mixed Friends. C o m $$$
Then you can get help and suggestions from all over the world.
While you may find your true love or friendship there.
@ johnnysgirl
You're obviously not into the tortoise kinda fun.
Well, the t-girrlz seem to enjoy it otherwise:no new t-kids. To put it that way.
Submitted by Niko on Thu, 03/12/2009 - 6:25pm.
So think twice.
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Um, about what?
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The milk is straight up fucking filthy! -MK
@ johnnysgirl
"Crappiest sex in animal kingdom"
Well even if you didn't hear the little man you must have seen him snapping like mad. Tortoises bite the females into submission.
So think twice.
Submitted by EvilKirby on Thu, 03/12/2009 - 5:57pm.
How can something so dirty be so damn cute? That noise he makes!
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I ask my hub that question ALL the time! :)
Hi Slutz!
I'm just taking a break from the soul-sucking tediousness of data entry to say that Tub Girl was the first and only icky thing I ever clickied - now, me no clicky. EVAR! There is nothing that would make me so curious that I had to click - such is my resolve. Now, if only I could be so fiercely resolved about quitting smoking. Congrats to all of you who have succeeded - I just can't seem to shake my 3-a-day.
And the turtle vid (which would prob be funnier if I could hear the sound) makes me really really really glad I am not a turtle! Can you imagine the logistics of trying to get it on with that damn shell? No boobies, so smooching, not even any grabbing or contact besides that one little spot of turtle tangent. Must be the crappiest sex in all the animal kingdom!
Oh yeah, and you CuteOverloaders out there will get it when I say "Ehn!"
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The milk is straight up fucking filthy! -MK
Hi Miss Priss
(if you're still here)
How can something so dirty be so damn cute? That noise he makes!
Did you have a brain tumor for breakfast?
OMG South Park does Disney (and the Jonas Bros.)! LOL! Too fucking funny.
http://allsp.com/
♥ ThreadKilla!
No one likes a black nerd, Darnell.
A DListed Youtube Gallery
Ew.
The maker of this vid should be condemned to post one of himself wanking away, god spare us. Sorry but I hate it when animals are made fun of. Same goes for kids falling and crying (or being stoned after a visit to the dentist). Just not my kind of humour, I guess. It's not a turtle btw.
What's hilarious though is the Palin/Levi breakup. Biggest surprise of the decade. I'm quite surprised not finding anything about it here. Well here are my two cents: some well deserved egg on Granny Palins face. Lucky escape for the boy. I wonder how much the missus paid him to go along during the campaign.
*Edit*: supposedly the miss called the happy father and his family White Trash. Now THIS is funny.
My tortoise does the same thing, and if he can't find his girlfriend (aka an old sock we stuffed with t-shirts), he gets VERY aggressive.
Sometimes we have to put the tortoise on a leash to calm him down. You can see this here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FAyAIZNttQ0#
Proportion-wise, that turtle has a massive wang.
Submitted by shut the smurf up on Thu, 03/12/2009 - 3:42pm.
Submitted by bitchette on Thu, 03/12/2009 - 3:30pm.
You guys have Trichotillomania.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trichotillomania
HAVE SOME DUMBASS WATER. - Charles Manson!
This is sooo cute!!! In a dirty kinda way he he.... poor lil' turtle, just wants to get laid.
Hef's new twin hos look like perfect fodder for the Bang Bus.
Submitted by Katt on Thu, 03/12/2009 - 4:09pm.
hugh hefner probably looks like this during sex!
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HA!
Theyre going to have a new season of Girls Next Door with those twin hoes next year. I wonder how amny peeps will watch that...
hugh hefner probably looks like this during sex!
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"Dude, quit harshing my mellow!"
Aww the turtle needs a friend! He sounds cute humping away at that old shoe.
smurfy - LMAO! One of my techs here at work was telling me about his oldest son, and how when he was 15, got all up in his face, started chucking shit across the house. My tech called the cops on him and had him arrested and taken to Juvinille Hall. He let his kid sit in there for two days. LOL
Now the kid is all grown up, in the military and is one of the sweetest guys.
I can't do the rotten.com thing.
Pictures like that just embed themselves in my memory. Some things I would rather not see.
The same for the two girls thing.
I did click a link for bangbus (on here I think) I can't believe the way some people have no scruples like that.
Submitted by M.E. on Thu, 03/12/2009 - 3:44pm.
That kid shoud be in fucking jail. I see prison in his future.
When I see little Gansters wannabe like that, I want bo trow them in prison were the real criminals are to teach them a lesson.
I know this fucking 16 years old who punch his father and gave him a nose bleed, The father put him in jail for a week , when he got out, trew him out of the house, he went crying to his mommy's house.. Fucking pussy.
He Dicho! caso cerrado!!
That kid shoud be in fucking jail. I see prison in his future.
Submitted by bitchette on Thu, 03/12/2009 - 3:30pm.
I pull my eyebrows, I thought I was the only weirdo.
He Dicho! caso cerrado!!
Provolone:
Yeah saw that a couple days ago, very sickening, if that was my mother or relative, I'd want to hunt down that little piece of shit and torture his ass, I know I sound crazy but some shit you just can't let go!
anyone see the kid beat up the busdriver??
sickening
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4iNYeFnmx7M
+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
"gimme back that filet o fish, gimme that fish. what if it were you hanging up on this wall, if it was you in that sammich you wouldnt be laughing at alllll"
me too. and they say that that addiction is the hardest to beat.
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"I think you will know what I mean when I say this, is that Adam Lambert makes me feel like a young girl who has just discovered gay boys, and wants more" TWOP
so this is really weird, but since we're talking about weird stuff today-
does anyone else ever have this compulsion to pull out eyelashes or eyebrows? not till they're totally gone, but sometimes they get a little sparse.
i don't know what it is, but i just have to stop myself sometimes.
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'fuck you guys. i'm goin' home.'
Snowy - watching those people detox scared me away from EVER trying Xanax.
M.E. OMG ITA, they're the WORST!
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"I think you will know what I mean when I say this, is that Adam Lambert makes me feel like a young girl who has just discovered gay boys, and wants more" TWOP
Some hard core trustees of modern pharmaceutical products on this site...
*quietly closing door so as not to wake up the sleepwalkers*
STOCK:
Have you seen the cooter dye yet?!?!
All I can say is when I was in rehab, those bastards coming off of Xanax were WICKED! They seriously were on Thorazine the first 5 days of detox. It was scary.