Michael Phelps Is Sorry
The stoner of the sea Michael Phelps was on Today this morning to talk about the bong photo Tony the Tiger did not approve of. Phelps apologized. I wish he would quit saying he's sorry for that shit and instead apologize for those damn grizzly bushbrows. How does he swim with two big ass beavers laying over his eyes (sounds sexy)? Obviously, he needs to light up the bong more. Sooner or later, the flame will shoot up too high and do Phelps a favor by singeing those things off.
Anyineedawakeandbake, Neptune's son said sowwy to all those he hurt, "It was-- really, you know, the people I hurt, you know, is my family, clearly. My friends. The close people around me. And most importantly, the fans. And-- and, you know, I realize that that hurt a lot of people."
The people he "hurt" need to heal their pain with a big bowl of green flakes. It works every time. My "doctor" recommends it!
Phelpsie said when the picture was taken he was just "celebrating" with a small group of people. It wasn't some big ass college party, but just a small gathering of people who sat around and "celebrated." I like that. The next time you get baked like a Duncan Hines brownie and a bitch gives you the side-eye, say, "Shut those eyes up, I'm celebrating!" Celebrating the gift of the leaf! That is a reason to celebrate.
The baked dolphin went on to say that he trusted everyone in the room and didn't think some dumb ass rat would take advantage of him like that, "I trusted my friends who were there about who they were. And clearly they weren't trusted people... Sometimes you learn the hard way."
When the picture hit the world, Phelpsie immediately protected his money and called up all his sponsors to apologize. All of them, except for Kelloggs, were cool, but Phelpsie is fine with that. He added, "It's not about money to me. So, you know, the -- the contract side of things, yeah, I was disappointed. But, you know, I think the biggest thing is-- is who I hurt the most. Like, if I lost money, okay. It's not an issue with me."
Um. He does realize that you need a little green to buy the green? Doesn't he? Weed doesn't grow on....oh...wait.
So now that Phelps has apologized yet again, he should put his lips over his bong friend and have a Chico's kind of day (which involves lots and lots of toking).
VIA OK Magazine!
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He needs to fix those darn snaggle teeth. Maybe his father was a big hairy beaver? His mother was so goddamed annoying at the olympics when they kept showing her crying and screaming when he was swimming.
He should apologize for that fug face of his.
His face looks like it was made from spare parts.
clearly they were not your friends or they would have been smokin' and tokin' right beside you instead of snapping pics....and if your head is so deep in the bong that you aren't paying attention to people taking pics then you might have a problem. Illegal shit is best done in private, not with "friends'. Especially not when you're famous....
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People need not to fuck with me right now!--jussayin
I'm not sure anyone's helping his cause when you post a photo of him looking stoned off his ass.
He needs to take some of his money and have some serious plastic surgery. That poor guy is so homely!
This man really is hideous. His whole cranium is fucked.
HAVE SOME DUMBASS WATER. - Charles Manson!
Submitted by EvilShoe on Fri, 03/13/2009 - 5:25pm.
you have to think about this through the eyes of a child. A child who looks up to what this fucktard has accomplished and how they want to be like him.
Very true. Plus, a company who hires him for his image has the right to dump him if his image isn't what the company wants for marketing. It might be right or wrong to fire him for pot but it's the company's money so its choice.
Why the fuck does he keep saying hurt? How is he hurting anyone by smocking out? It's not like he got violent and ran over someone or cheated on anyone. WTF. This country is stupid and fucked up for making people like him feel like they need to apologize for being stoners instead of alcoholics.
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"Charlie you fucking bitch, let's work it out" - High Fidelity
Submitted by EvilShoe on Fri, 03/13/2009 - 5:25pm.
I've got to say...you're right. Especially because it goes against all the anti-drug programs kids have in schools. Those programs lump weed with heroin and steroids, so to a kid, there's no difference.
I don't normally jump on the mom and dad bandwagon with pitchforks and torches, and I understand what everyone here is saying BUT you have to think about this through the eyes of a child. A child who looks up to what this fucktard has accomplished and how they want to be like him. It's JUST weed to us, but what is it to kids? Kids that try to stay out of trouble by going to the Y and want to be someone in their future?
If you still think you are right, the next kid around 10 yrs old that you encounter, get down at their level and say "No big deal, Phelps smoked weed, now run off and have fun".
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Dick happens! - MK
@ CASHEWNUTS: your avie hurts my eyes!
Phelpsie probably should stop hitting the bong as it has clearly impaired his ability to speak:
"It was-- really, you know, the people I hurt, you know, is my family, clearly. My friends. The close people around me. And most importantly, the fans. And-- and, you know, I realize that that hurt a lot of people."
"It's not about money to me. So, you know, the -- the contract side of things, yeah, I was disappointed. But, you know, I think the biggest thing is-- is who I hurt the most. Like, if I lost money, okay. It's not an issue with me."
He sounds like a retard.
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The milk is straight up fucking filthy! -MK
Whatfuckinever he rips fuckin bongs. Big fuckin deal. Doesn't the media have more important shit to worry about like the state of affairs in this shit ass country? Come on, the kid has trained his whole life for the fuckin Olympics, wins like 8 medals or some shit then he gets thrown under the bus. The total lack of REALITY in this media fueled society is INSANE. Let the kid be and lets worry about real shit.
'I know you want to but you cant say yes.'- George Michael.
What can I say, he is so fucking ugly, it hurts my eyes.
The worst part is that he has a small dick to go with his travesty of a mug!
I feel sorry for his kids because most likely fug traits like those get passed on.
This guy needs for get a woman with a broad face and no chin from Africa in order to produce a half decent kid.
His mother needs to apologize for screwing whatever gave us this retarded, goofy looking jughead! A face for nightmares!
Michael you are too funny, always love you but this one made me literally laugh out loud, not just lol. thanks.
http://laptoppetite.tumblr.com/
i'm so over the bong smoking water boy...he's sorry...next!
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nice ass...when does it open?
Can you just retitle any post about this guy as "Michael Phelps fell out of an ugly tree and got smacked by every branch on the way down"??? Jeezey creezy, what a fug.
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Vagina: apparently it is a clown car.
This story would have been so much more interesting if he was toking smoke out of some chicks snatch. You know, something cool...
He smokes weed.
Yeah, whatever...next.
the people *hurt* by his weed smoking need to apologize to merman for being dicks.
How stupid that he has to be a sneak to protect his income. Just legalize it already, and manage it the way we do alcohol. It would end a lot of crime and a lot of lying.
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you can probably have a more reasonable conversation with a fucking burnt rutabaga than with that bag of crazy. - MK
You can only hold it so long before crunchy gets soggy. - TITS
Submitted by cprincess on Fri, 03/13/2009 - 11:45am.
senior citizens eat cornflakes,right?
This guy is ugly and goofy looking at the same time. Can't we just move on and forget about this freak?
I wish I would of had a load before I saw his picture! fuck he is ugly ---- actually ugly is being kind.
God poor guy cant even smoke a bong in peace!!
Cant stand cornflakes anyway!!
Ha! Ok, I have to know: that new Subway ad...I never watch TV except my friend's got a big, huge TV front and centre that's always on and I get to see bits and pieces (i saw some GOOD music videos! Shocking!) ...but anywhore,
I saw this Subway ad with a guy being chased by the cops after stealing a microwave...and all the while he's talking about making good choices and that AT SUBWAY, you can never make a bad choice. Nice hook. I was impressed. Is that damage control? Or was that already up there for a while?
♥ ThreadKilla!
With my super lawyer powers, I can rid our town of cats so our kids can NEVER get high again! Mr. Broflovski, South Park
A DListed Youtube Gallery
jesus, he's fug. stop posting about this douche.
Submitted by mike on Fri, 03/13/2009 - 9:25am.
The only thing he has to be sorry for is paryting in Columbia, SC.
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What's wrong with Columbia??? I've had some great times partying down there.
Submitted by Clarisse on Fri, 03/13/2009 - 11:07am.
Carrottop!?!?!
Need a big bisexual?
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That depends... what does it do?
Clarisse ~ throw it in the wood chipper.
Tony the Tiger does NOT toke. He snorts Adderall and Lexapro. That's why everything is so fucking Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreat! Leave dolphin dong to me. I know what to do with an athletic dum dum.
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"Let's play leapfrog. You stick it in and see how far you can jump over my head."
Great...Now what am I gonna do with this extra big bisexual?
Carrottop!?!?!
Need a big bisexual?
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The English language is a brick wall between me and you and "Fuck" is my chisel!
Clarisse
My big bisexual friend is a girl, her name is Beth
...but thanks anyway :)
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What's with his jaw situation? He could be so hot if he didn't have the jaw of a 5 year old.
lol fat ass beavers? LOL You`re the best Miachael. :-*
Riskin!!
I found your big bisexual friend! He was behind my couch playing dice with Jesus!
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The English language is a brick wall between me and you and "Fuck" is my chisel!
Rishkin ~ did you look in the Dlisted "Lost & Found" bin?
I lost a bigbisexual friend just the other day :(
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if you want to find a friend,please visit bigbisexual.com
I like him less after the apology. I'd still fuck him with the empty weed bag over his head but, yeah, I like him less now...
"Submitted by person_of_interest on Fri, 03/13/2009 - 9:17am.
MK, when you post about Mikey Phelps PLEASE don't use a headshot. I think shirt off is always the way to go on him. As a matter of fact, if you crop out his head, I'd be OK with that."
I very much agree. I can't handle that face in the mornings!
Who cares! He is, to quote a dlister: (sorry, I am stealing line, but can't remember whose) He is human Ambien!
He looks like a goddamn retard.
ha ha they had Pops from Friday on tmz tv last night and he was all "He won 8 gold medals, he deserves to smoke a bong hit!'
Hey, does anyone know if Harvey Levin likes the peen?
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"I think you will know what I mean when I say this, is that Adam Lambert makes me feel like a young girl who has just discovered gay boys, and wants more" TWOP
I don't feel sorry for Dolphin Boy.
He already has a DUI and now this. Dumbass should have known better.
But then again, Phelps is really, really stupid. I classify him as an "Idiot Savant".
If you've never heard him talk....go check it out. He can barely put a coherent sentence together.
I ♥ the tag: "Smoke a bowl"
"Going gray is like ejaculating. You know it can happen prematurely, but when it actually does, it's a total shock." MAH BOO!!!
jeebus, Hohan got a job and she's a crackhead
they will ruin his life to "teach" kids a lesson about toking and being happy for a lil while.
i mean, don't educate about drunk driving or nothing. weed WILL kill you and take all yo money away.
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Welcome to the machine
Happiness is a warm gun
Submitted by Miss Priss on Fri, 03/13/2009 - 9:27am.
Hey miss priss! I think weed will be legalized soon.
And yes, the hypocrisy is maddening. It's ok if he was photographed getting hammered on booze, but not toking up? Pfft!
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
you ugly
you ugly
you ain't go no alibi
you ugly
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Welcome to the machine
Happiness is a warm gun
When he loses his money he will lose his friends. No one made a big deal when he was drunk and acting like a fool. So he smokes, he is also an excellent swimmer. Money ruined this simple man.
In a society where we we allow pedo's, rapists, and Chris Brown to go unpunished this kid is forced to apologize repeatedly for something Tony the Tiger does on a daily basis?
You know that Tiger Tokes!!!!
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"I'll have a cafe mocha, vodka, valium, latte to go please".