Robert Pattinson & Javier Beltran On Their Gay Sex Scenes
In Little Ashes, the new movie that will make a few peens throb, Robert FancyPattz plays Dali and the role required him to do fake butt sex with the hot piece of hairy man sex known as Javier Beltran, who plays Lorca. Depending on which bitch you ask, the experience was either beautifully "tragic and painful" or totally nut-shrinking awkward.
First up is Javier! When asked about it by Out Magazine, he said, "We didn't have any problems with the sexuality. On the set it was less important than the emotions. The sex scenes are beautiful—tragic and painful."
Tragic and painful?! Hmm. They didn't have any lube, right? No lube, no problem! You can make yourself a very useful concoction right on your palm. Just spit, add a little nose snot, and if available, mix in a dab of dick butter. And if you're really desperate, just ask the recipient to push out the prairie dog. It's not for the faint of fart, but desperate fucky times call for desperate measures!
As for the magical Robert? He had this to say to GQ about that shit, "The hardest part was trying to do it doggie-style. Trying to have a nervous breakdown while doing it doggie-style. And it wasn't even a closed set. There were all these Spanish electricians giggling to themselves."
Nervous breakdown while hitting it from the back? It kept jumping out of the hole, didn't it? That is some nerve-wracking shit.
But seriously, doing butt sex (even fake butt sex) while Spanish electricians watch? What's RPattz's nightmare is my fucking dream of dreams!
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Supposedly there's a scene where Robert sits in the corner masterbating while watching Javier have sex with a woman.
I sat in the corner and I jizzed in my pants... LMAO
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"All you need is Robert Pattinson and a handful of glitter." - MK
If most people made what Robert made, they wouldn't be whining.
@ Khensu Hetep:
...Because gays sole purpose in mass media is meant to serve as objects/props (think; best friend, shopping buddy, sassy counter guy at the department store, Tyra's "runway diva" coach) when they actually started putting two gays in the same camera lens, sometimes even coupled up together (AHHH!!! Shield your young!) America started freaking the fuck out, Propositions left & right, the sky is falling...
and all of a sudden "gays are shoving themselves down our throats"...
Yeah, cause there's a shortage of straight fuckery on every last douchenozzle network on television every hour on the hour (including the 643 'reality' shows on MTV devoted solely to viewing 18-24 year old straight people having an STD off, leading up to the climatic season finale which answers the long awaited question of "Who racked up the most STDs this season on 'The Hills over your moms chest hair')
oh, and p.s @ khensu hetep...You're good people.
"Yeah...thats how we gays feel everytime we have to see a hetro sex scene with you breeders in every fucking movie, just to see breeder sex scenes in a fucking movie, but we have to deal with that shit...so you deal with the fact that, yeah, gays DO engage in sex. (gasp!!!!!!!)"
Fucking amen!
Hell, I'm straight, and I'm also sick of breeder sex comedies. I'm one of the few people from my generation who actually cringed at Superbad. I couldn't even finish watching it because if I saw one more minute of that waste of celluloid, I was going to fucking vomit. Did that fat whiny fuck (I'm assuming you were supposed to like) even get laid, btw?
Miss March, Fired Up, and Sex Drive look fucking stupid too. I'd like to think that stright men aren't this fucking braindead and that not all pretty girls are this fucking easy.
Maybe the macho one complaining about gay sex scenes can share an answer why the men in all the awful breeder sex comedies are usually ugly and/or awkward looking. Maybe some of us don't want to watch ugly, pasty, scrawny/fat guys fuck...and some of us straight gals don't want to see another tan skinny bitch with highlights and big tits getting fucked by ugly men in the closest to pornographic manner ever.
I'd rather watch two flaming gay guys or two flannel wearing lesbians going at it because at least any gay scene I watched was tastefully done. I know there are probably some that are graphic, but these breeder movies are shoved way down everyone's throats.
LOL IT'S TEH UNRATED VERSION. BUY OUR MARGINALLY FUNNY AT BEST MOVIE. IT HAS BOOBIES IN IT.
Grrr...
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To thrive on demise
Voyeurs' lust watching the pain
Touching you inside
Bleed you fucking dry
Bleed on me
Not that it means anything.......but wasn't Dali married to a woman?
Was he in the closet?
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Neva zay zat wee Dshormans dohnt have hiuumor!
"Jesus I am so sick of fucking gay scenes in movies unless it is chicks, that is. And what is really annoying is that it's usually chicks who have no tits too.
Is this Pattinson a butt fucker in real life? He looks like it."
Yeah...thats how we gays feel everytime we have to see a hetro sex scene with you breeders in every fucking movie, just to see breeder sex scenes in a fucking movie, but we have to deal with that shit...so you deal with the fact that, yeah, gays DO engage in sex. (gasp!!!!!!!)
I'm so sick of hearing about straight actors and how "challenging" and hard it was to play gay roles. Aww. Pooor babbbyyyy.
So you don't have to deal with the shit that gays go through on a daily basis, you don't have to be shunned by some family members, you just have to read a couple lines and pretend you're someone else for a cool few million and still have the nerve to complain about it (which is actually quite offensive, considering if someone complained about playing a Jew or any other minority group, it would be a shit storm before the first cloud appeared)? Shut the fuck up...read your lines...collect your check and shut the fuck up again after that!
Such a cuttie. His photos were seen at milllionaire persoanals site __w e a l t h y k i s s . c o m __last week. It is said he is already in relationship with a young beautiful woman on that site now. ?
looooooooool
I was with you til the prairie dog part.. jesus MK.
"now you all have numbers, so we're going to do this alphabetically"
i want to tell you my first-hand experience.I have found my best friend and my true Love.
I have found my match on this site,~~~~~ WealthyBeauty.Com. It was an instant connection for rich people seeking thier soul mates.
Good luck to all who are loo
will the teenyboppers cry bloody murder over this
or cream over it? that is the question?
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0006718/
is in these up to his neck
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1375754/
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1107394/
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I found a great site """"" Seekamillionaire . com............ """""" It 's where you have the opportunity dreaming about dating a millionaire and make it true!
I thought everyone needed to meet some miracle after all the terrible stuff in the news and the economy :)
R Patts forehead looks HUGE in that picture. Me thinks he is going to go bald later in life - I just have a feeling.
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"Wait until the bitch finds the family of wombats living in her chocha." - MK
I'm sure they would've found real gay butt sex less stressful, no acting involved.
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
Submitted by joe shmoe on Sat, 03/14/2009 - 12:29pm.
Submitted by Sheeps on Sat, 03/14/2009 - 12:28pm.
hahahaha. MK is brills. Even when his posts involve something other blogs address, MK's take is always far better.
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I certainly agree although I could have done without his home-made lube recipe. *gag*
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Really, maybe he could give recipes and tips(not that kind) on his site too! To bad the name "Goop" is already taken, it would have been perfect...
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Submitted by christine the hoff on Sat, 03/14/2009 - 12:30pm.
Um, they both look plenty experienced in the butt sex department, just saying.
lol!!!
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the end...
Wow MK! The third paragraph gives me visuals I nevah thought I would imagine. I feel so dirty.
I'm not feelin' Robert's hair. I think he used "faint of fart" pomade because his hair look shiteous.
Submitted by BrownHankyWithW... on Sat, 03/14/2009 - 6:17pm.
Poor Robert...looks like he's going to be stereotyped as the actor who's always draining bodily fluids in his movies.
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Classic!!!!!!!! :D
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Neva zay zat wee Dshormans dohnt have hiuumor!
Poor Robert...looks like he's going to be stereotyped as the actor who's always draining bodily fluids in his movies.
_____________________
"Oh you little bitch troll from hell!" -- Patsy Stone
Robert looks like Wednesday Addams.
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Neva zay zat wee Dshormans dohnt have hiuumor!
Submitted by TITS on Sat, 03/14/2009 - 3:13pm.
That's some kind of strong heartbeat there, sista.
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Say no to men who wear barrettes!--KD
Not unless you're walking around like a crab naked.--LCT
Favorite poem by Garcia Lorca--"verde." I cry every f-ing time I read it.
It's about war. Timely.
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Say no to men who wear barrettes!--KD
Not unless you're walking around like a crab naked.--LCT
whats's the big deal? i'm pretty sure both of these guys have had dick very near their no no holes before...while spanish electricians giggled at them...
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nice ass...when does it open?
Wow. I love Garcia Lorca, and some of Dali's early art, too. I think this is promising, unless, of course, Hollywood made it.
His pancake makeup makes me hungry for pancakes but not sausage.
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I like you, but I love the status quo.
www.myspace.com/dreamhypnotique
This is all too Chariots of Fire for me.
♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀
Chicago area 5K race 2009: http://rallyforautism.com/
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read. —Groucho Marx
honestly, my no no gets tingly for Garcia Lorca whatever the situation...so no matter what the degree of comfort is for these gay for pay actors, i want some hot Garcia Lorca action.
Submitted by putsomestankonit on Sat, 03/14/2009 - 3:05pm.
:D
I have a lot of pots to scrub. Then later I'm churning some butter.
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
Tigerlilly exposed!!!1!
http://www.dailymotion.com/user/fluffybunnykins666/video/x8l7lj_shes-a-t...
Submitted by TITS on Sat, 03/14/2009 - 3:03pm.
Are you nervous today?
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http://hesterprinesworld.blogspot.com/
A place for book lovers and free thinkers.
Submitted by putsomestankonit on Sat, 03/14/2009 - 2:32pm.
Who cares if RP is a twink in real life or not?
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haha. I just watched that vampire movie. I guarantee you at least 3/4 of all teenaged girls will care.
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
Tigerlilly exposed!!!1!
http://www.dailymotion.com/user/fluffybunnykins666/video/x8l7lj_shes-a-t...
Sounds like the gay for pay porn stars.
Who cares if RP is a twink in real life or not?
I always through Dali couldn't get it up to have sex in the first place.
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http://hesterprinesworld.blogspot.com/
A place for book lovers and free thinkers.
Can't wait to see this on IFC or LOGO.
"Does anyone else smell astroglide?"
'Stewie on Family Guy'
Does Lorca give Dali his moustache via dirty sanchez??
+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
"gimme back that filet o fish, gimme that fish. what if it were you hanging up on this wall, if it was you in that sammich you wouldnt be laughing at alllll"
Ok, so what happens when the infantile, goody-two-shoes teen girls who are into Twilight and all that lame quasi-fantasy junk find out that their precious "EDWARD" agreed to do buttsex in a movie.
I jusy know that they'll freak out, and their moms will require them to take down all their gloomy vampire posters and burn their thick ass kid books.
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Holla for a Dolla! Shout for some clout!
Submitted by The Real Mean Girl: "Off topic: I think Neil Patrick Harris is a master at making you forget his personal life. Every time I watch HIMYM, I always forget he's gay."
Me too. Well, I don't watch that show often, but you're right. Even on SNL I forgot.
Now Kevin Spacey is one who I NEVER bought as straight. Not once.
I love how "Magical Forest" is a tag.
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Hey man, Gandhi's anti-violence, not anti-comedy.
Submitted by Lovers Keep On ... on Sat, 03/14/2009 - 1:45pm.
dick butter? thats a new one haha. why is everyone hot for robert pattinson...he has such a creepy look to him about him. he isn't even cute.
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thank gawd! someone feels the same i thought i was alone in this.
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Leave my kids fucking out of it! What have they done? You fucking retract that bit about my cunt fucking kids!-Harry
Submitted by islandgirl on Sat, 03/14/2009 - 12:52pm.
STALKER!! :)
Drunken Irish pig! :)
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Slave to Love
dick butter? thats a new one haha. why is everyone hot for robert pattinson...he has such a creepy look to him about him. he isn't even cute.
Fags.
♥ ThreadKilla!
With my super lawyer powers, I can rid our town of cats so our kids can NEVER get high again! Mr. Broflovski, South Park
A DListed Youtube Gallery
Rob needs his sexy hairdo in order to stay sexy for me...this is not working.
why would anyone follow him on Twitter, if you are not a 13 year old girl? No one else finds this to be strange?
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"I think she's an ass...I think she's ugly. And I think she's a disgusting human being..."
-Anne McCourt, 81 years old, re: Paris Hilton (was filmed and is now pissed she will be on a reality show )
dali walli whatever, you know if there is peen business around, MK will zoom right in on that. heehee. it's his JOB!! lol
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Stop the lying you both know all about gay sex. LYING HOMOS!
looks like a scene from brideshead revisited
it must be kinda low budget if they let the electricians stand around during sex shooting. well, maybe that's the european way?! lol
.
This whole thing looks tragic and painful. First of all, That Pattinson guy couldn't look more unlike Dali in every aspect and there is no way to get your head around pretending it's him. Secondly, why are they highlighting sex scenes? It was Dali's artwork and quirky mind that made him interesting and standout, not the fact that he had sex just like everyone else. Ugh.
so what if two guys have sex. sex is sex. it's really kinda silly that this should even be a topic anymore.
plus, guys and women have butt sex too. it's just SEX!
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the twilight boy playing Dali?! now that's 'tragic and painful'
and who says doggie-style but crass 12 year-olds?
ugh! go away Robert.
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Leave my kids fucking out of it! What have they done? You fucking retract that bit about my cunt fucking kids!-Harry
Maybe they are referring to it as "tragic and painful" experience because Salvador Dalí always claimed that him and Lorca never went “full way down” and all his life Dali was afraid of being accused as a homosexual.
Submitted by Sheeps on Sat, 03/14/2009 - 12:49pm.
I've been following Pattinson on Twitter. His posts don't sound geigh to me. Annoying and smug, but not geigh.
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Sorry Sheeps, but until Mrs Patrick Campbell weighs in, I don't think we can reach any conclusions about James poofy..I mean Pattinson's sexuality.
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Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
~Mark Twain
Ed: Evidently Mr Twain never envisaged the Playboy Mansion.
Submitted by Sheeps on Sat, 03/14/2009 - 12:49pm.
I've been following Pattinson on Twitter. His posts don't sound geigh to me. Annoying and smug, but not geigh.
Dunno - most of the gays in my neighborhood are annoying and smug...