John Mayer Is About To Say What He Needs To Say In A Tell-All
You may have a new book to help your bowels move along while you're trying to drop some shit in the toilet. Star Magazine says that John Mayer is yapping to friends that he ready to write a tell-all about his relationship with Jennifer Aniston for $10 million.
A source tells Star, "John just can't keep his mouth shut. and he's telling friends that he's thinking of going public with all their juicy secrets."
John apparently thinks that people give a moldy shit about Jenny's obsession with yoga, her weird TV habits, obsession with astrology and her epic tantrums. Yup, sounds like a hard piece of caca that will come in handy when you need to level a table. And what's so weird about her TV habits? I'm sure the only channel her TV stays on is TLC. All the BABY and WEDDING shows she'll ever need.
The source also said that John was shocked when she called him "Brad" during grossy times. I think the source heard this wrong. John was probably shocked the one time she didn't call him Brad while rubbing his douche stick.
And John is already publishing a tell-all.......on fucking Twitter! Seriously, it's all fucking there. You won't have to pay cent and you'll walk away with a squeaky clean vagina after reading it!
she's sad because it is HER CHOICE to live her life so publicly.
though it may be embarrassing in the long run there is no such thing as bad publicity. as long as they spell your name correctly. RIGHT JEN? right.
Wow, so they are saying that John is going to write a "Tell All" stating how NORMAL Jennifer Aniston is?...What a laugh. Now if he could say she is Bi-sexual, had a long time relationship with Jenny Shimizu(sp), cuts herself with knives for pleasure, wears vials of blood from male partners around her neck, deep kisses her brother...WAIT....that's not Jen!....that's Morticia aka Goth Queen! Well, when the body guard Michael is it? writes his tell all, i'll be more than willing to pay to buy it just for the shock value of a la jolie.....lol
He is an ass
Submitted by Bellaella on Wed, 03/18/2009 - 7:02pm.
Boringston is a twat and must have another movie coming out and is a self obsesed moronic twit.
All the "normal" women with "morals, integrity, and hate filled gutter mouths" voted for her? So if the rest of us don't vote for her , we are not normal?
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When it comes down to Jolie OR Aniston - yes, you are not normal if you pick the vampire/incestuous/blood toting/pussy licking/ husband seducing whore!
If you don't like Jen - no one is pointing a finger and saying "shame on you" --- it's only when you pick between the two does it show your true colors .... bitch.
What a douche.
He needs to die from a tragic auto fellatio accident.
Dumb bitch.
"Eat or be eaten"
Any man who would leave you for another woman and lie as Brad did about it, only to rub your face in it years later like it was some act of God, is worth about as much as the next man who would use it to pad his bank acct. I for one want to see him write the book and tell every woman out their what a shmuck he is in bed and out of it.
He's always struck me as an arrogant jerk that really wasn't that into her so I'm not surprised that he would sell her out (if this is true). I never understood why she was even with him. She can do sooooooo much better.
I found a great site _______Wealthybeauty . C OM_______ . It 's where you have the opportunity dreaming about dating a millionaire and make it true! I thought everyone needed to meet some miracle after all the terrible stuff in the news and the economy :)
he's fucking fug!
John Mayer is a major douche, but I find it hard to belive he would write a tell-all. Maybe he charged his friends $10 a piece to hear the about the time he peed on her and the story evolved from there?
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You don't win friends with salad.
Actually, I think he's amazing. He's every woman's dream come true.
www.reluctantwhore.com
www.cafepress.com/reluctantwhore
If this is true, FUCK that John Mayer!! Some man, huh? Pathetic creep needs a woman to keep him in custard powder and knickers no matter which way you look at it. Ugly fuck. Not only would I take that crap book to the haha JOHN with me, I'd wipe my fuckin arse with it afterwards. Jennifer Anniston does not deserve this bullshyt and she's better off without that misogynistic POS.
Submitted by Who Datt on Wed, 03/18/2009 - 7:44pm.
Funny how as Mayer is out media-whoring, Jason Mraz is kicking his ass both on the charts and in sales.
Jason seems to want to...you know...be a musician, rather than a circus clown.
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Hasn't it been over a year since Mayer released his last multi-platinum, multi-award winning album? That's why he's off in the studio now.
Mraz is being outsold by Beyonce and the Pussycat Dolls at the moment, if you actually look at the Billboard chart.
Submitted by grapedrinkbaby on Wed, 03/18/2009 - 7:51pm.
I dumped John Mayer from my twitter list.
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SO FUNNAY!
I saw, on the marquee..."I dumped John Mayer" and I KNEW the sentence would end like that - and I KNEW it would be you! LMAO!
I looked at those tweets. I still can't get this douchetastic goldmine out of my head.
One of the worst distortions of the English language has to be the sentence 'how can you not?'
All day long like a mantra I hear that...and then:
O, SHADDAP! How can I NOT think you're a DOUCHEBAG when it's so damn obvious! LOL!
♥ ThreadKilla!
With my super lawyer powers, I can rid our town of cats so our kids can NEVER get high again! Mr. Broflovski, South Park
A DListed Youtube Gallery
I dumped John Mayer from my twitter list. His tweets sucked. I'm serious. They were boring and self-important.
He's the quite the tortured artist. He runs a close second to Kanye.
Ack! We're being attacked! Save us, St. Angie - call back your hordes!
♥ ThreadKilla!
With my super lawyer powers, I can rid our town of cats so our kids can NEVER get high again! Mr. Broflovski, South Park
A DListed Youtube Gallery
Submitted by Manimal5 on Wed, 03/18/2009 - 3:44pm.
John Mayers tell-all? Couldn't I just take an ambien to fall asleep?
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hehehehehe...mani those blinking eyes are kinda mesmerizing...I'm feeling sleeeepeee...
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In some cases, the elderly or otherwise toothless can be capable of spectacular gurns covering the entire nose.
Funny how as Mayer is out media-whoring, Jason Mraz is kicking his ass both on the charts and in sales.
Jason seems to want to...you know...be a musician, rather than a circus clown.
teryann, no matter how madly you want to be angelina, you are not. let it go.
Jen is such a douche bag not John.
Nobody needs to read Mayer's rant to know this lonely spinster is a self-obsessed loser. He probably only took her back to get more crap about her to laugh over.
Everyone else in the world knew that relationship wasn't going to last long, except Jennifer herself. No wonder she's so bad at relationships. Clueless. Less time in the mirror and more time listening to other people might help.
WTF are you even talking about?
Boringston is a twat and must have another movie coming out and is a self obsesed moronic twit.
All the "normal" women with "morals, integrity, and hate filled gutter mouths" voted for her? So if the rest of us don't vote for her , we are not normal?
Must be middle American white boring conservative pro lifers whose opinions we don't wanna hear. And 6 women do not a poll make or entirly reflect general opinions.
BTW, Brad Pitt refuses to comment whilst Maniston goes on and on and on. Shut up already
true that he can't keep his trap shut... but the tell all story is bullshit. there's a code of honor among celebs.
I found a great site _______Wealthybeauty . C OM_______ . It 's where you have the opportunity dreaming about dating a millionaire and make it true! I thought everyone needed to meet some miracle after all the terrible stuff in the news and the economy :)
wow he sounds like douche....I'll have to start following him
pronto
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0006718/
is in these up to his neck
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1375754/
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1107394/
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1204966/
lallala...your body is a NY Times bestseller...woohoohooo...
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We've already wasted ten million hours of our young lives, so we might as well keep on suffering. --MK
Jolie, on the other hand, represents .. I don't even know what the fucks she represents.
vampires and cunts, I suppose
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LMFAO!! that was great. just great.
write a tell all? this from the ass that wrote that horrid "your body is a wonderland"...ugh....pick better next time, jen...
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nice ass...when does it open?
I doubt he's writing a tell all. Maybe he's writing something -- one of those stupid my life until now biographies -- and he intends on including her and all his romances (as he probably thinks he's a playboy of some sort).
Submitted by K2 on Wed, 03/18/2009 - 3:45pm.
I was at a party last night - there was a trash magazine sitting on the table with Jolie & Aniston on the front cover - a group of about 8 women ranging from the age of 30 to 65 all said they liked Aniston better! These were not desperate, divorced, lonely, cheated on women either. One of them didn't care for Jen one way or the other prior to the "divorce" but after that shit went down it was Team Aniston all the way. Everyone agreed that Jolie would end up getting hers and that she will split from Pitt sooner rather than later. I found it refreshing that the group of people I was associating with all have the morals and integrity to see through the piece of shit that is Jolie. It was a relief!
So the question remains: Why do so many NORMAL people see through the bullshit of Jen being some f*cking lonely spinster and Jolie being a slutbag hell bent on revamping her image, but the media can't????
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Media feeds on insecurities and stereotypes.
Jen will forever embody betrayed woman because public needs to see that shit happens to celebrities, too.
Jolie, on the other hand, represents .. I don't even know what the fucks she represents.
vampires and cunts, I suppose..
Submitted by Two Drink Min on Wed, 03/18/2009 - 5:16pm.
Never call anyone anything but "baby" in bed. I am telling you! Live and learn.
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LOL! You're smart... and I'm going to take that advice and apply it to my whole life... outside of the bedroom, too. I just can't remember names.
Bad karma man. Bad karma.
Never call anyone anything but "baby" in bed. I am telling you! Live and learn.
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1172613656
I like Jen, but she wasn't very smart to get contractually involved with this sack of shit. Whether this is true or not.
TEAM OOPS I CRAPPED MY PANTS
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What What
I hope he devotes a chapter to the golden shower rumors.
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Pas de shorts, monsieur.
with all the skank,bitch whore talk flying around stupid should be the least thing to offend you. do u need an apology for hurting your wittle feelings K2?
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Oh honey, I DO NOT need an apology nor do I expect one. You're the one that needs to grow some thicker skin. You come in here calling "US" stupid (not a celebrity) and then wonder why someone would put you in your place.
Submitted by Two Drink Min on Wed, 03/18/2009 - 4:56pm.
xerquina - you were insulting all the posters here.
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i admit it was harsh, sometimes i forget dlisters have feeling too.
xerquina - you were insulting all the posters here.
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1172613656
Submitted by K2 on Wed, 03/18/2009 - 4:47pm.
YOU need to smoke a bowl and chill cuz that shit was not that serious
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I'm sorry twat - did I offend? Can dish it out with the "you guys sound so stupid" bullshit but can't take it? man up.
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with all the skank,bitch whore talk flying around stupid should be the least thing to offend you. do u need an apology for hurting your wittle feelings K2?
How come its always the newbies that come in and tell people what to say, do and how to act? Let me be diplomatic and state that maybe you should scope out the comment boards beforehand to get the vibe. Just a suggestion.
蜘龍====================龍蜘
(\__/)
(='.'=)
(")_(")
YOU need to smoke a bowl and chill cuz that shit was not that serious
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I'm sorry twat - did I offend? Can dish it out with the "you guys sound so stupid" bullshit but can't take it? man up.
Submitted by xerquina on Wed, 03/18/2009 - 4:36pm.
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Yeah, you're coming in here calling everyone stupid--haha, you're a regular Lewis Black!
☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
"Last night, Darth Vader came down from the planet Vulcan and said that if I didn't take out Lorraine, that he'd melt my brain."
AND maybe the douche will reveal that Jen's not a true blond either and finally put an end to those pesky rumors that she wears blue contacts! hmmmmm
TEAM LORAZEPAM!!
蜘龍====================龍蜘
(\__/)
(='.'=)
(")_(")
Team Christian Bale!
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Submitted by K2 on Wed, 03/18/2009 - 4:33pm.
Submitted by xerquina on Wed, 03/18/2009 - 4:21pm.
Team this, team that. you guys sound so stupid, these dead beat celebs don't give a fuck about you
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OH STFU! go sit in the corner - smoke another bowl - and think of all the shit you should've done with your life!
love how people take the time out to comment on a celebrity thread but then tell the rest of us that the dead beat celebs don't give a fuck about us! NEWS FLASH : and we don't give a fuck about YOU.
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YOU need to smoke a bowl and chill cuz that shit was not that serious.
TEAM MICKEY!
P.S. where the hell is that book?!
Submitted by xerquina on Wed, 03/18/2009 - 4:21pm.
Team this, team that. you guys sound so stupid, these dead beat celebs don't give a fuck about you
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OH STFU! go sit in the corner - smoke another bowl - and think of all the shit you should've done with your life!
love how people take the time out to comment on a celebrity thread but then tell the rest of us that the dead beat celebs don't give a fuck about us! NEWS FLASH : and we don't give a fuck about YOU.
No, Mah Boo is OFF LIMITS.
"Going gray is like ejaculating. You know it can happen prematurely, but when it actually does, it's a total shock." MAH BOO!!!