John Mayer Is About To Say What He Needs To Say In A Tell-All
You may have a new book to help your bowels move along while you're trying to drop some shit in the toilet. Star Magazine says that John Mayer is yapping to friends that he ready to write a tell-all about his relationship with Jennifer Aniston for $10 million.
A source tells Star, "John just can't keep his mouth shut. and he's telling friends that he's thinking of going public with all their juicy secrets."
John apparently thinks that people give a moldy shit about Jenny's obsession with yoga, her weird TV habits, obsession with astrology and her epic tantrums. Yup, sounds like a hard piece of caca that will come in handy when you need to level a table. And what's so weird about her TV habits? I'm sure the only channel her TV stays on is TLC. All the BABY and WEDDING shows she'll ever need.
The source also said that John was shocked when she called him "Brad" during grossy times. I think the source heard this wrong. John was probably shocked the one time she didn't call him Brad while rubbing his douche stick.
And John is already publishing a tell-all.......on fucking Twitter! Seriously, it's all fucking there. You won't have to pay cent and you'll walk away with a squeaky clean vagina after reading it!
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Angelina will be the first person to buy the book.
Jon is a jerk for doing that to her. I bet that was his intention the ENTIRE time.
Submitted by LOVE ANDERSON on Wed, 03/18/2009 - 4:23pm.
TEAM DEAD BEAT CELEBS!
TEAM FAT MOM JEAN DAYS!
TEAM CAT COLLECTORS!
TEAM FUCK OFF!!!!
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tsk tsk you forgot Team MAH BOO
Oh Mah Gah! TEAM YOUR MOM!
"Going gray is like ejaculating. You know it can happen prematurely, but when it actually does, it's a total shock." MAH BOO!!!
Team cat STALKERS! lol
☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
"Last night, Darth Vader came down from the planet Vulcan and said that if I didn't take out Lorraine, that he'd melt my brain."
TEAM DEAD BEAT CELEBS!
TEAM FAT MOM JEAN DAYS!
TEAM CAT COLLECTORS!
TEAM FUCK OFF!!!!
"Going gray is like ejaculating. You know it can happen prematurely, but when it actually does, it's a total shock." MAH BOO!!!
Team this, team that. you guys sound so stupid, these dead beat celebs don't give a fuck about you.
mslewis - can you please take your 1950's anti-feminist bullshit and leave at your favorite haunt (JJ)? That's were you can all discuss how women should bake cookies and pump out babies for relevancy and how much you hate Aniston for no reason.
John Mayer is a complete douche. I have no idea what she was thinking taking him back.
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1172613656
No wonder the publishing industry is failing. Pay for something we don't know.
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Submitted by Reeter on Wed, 03/18/2009 - 2:17pm.
John Mayer's music sucks. He has to supplement is income somehow.
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HA! Amen to that
Good. Bad. I'm the guy with the gun.
-Ash
MSNBC is reporting that Mayer will not write a tell-all. Frankly, I have to believe them over Star Magazine.
What the hell. First urmomma now JoMama. What is this shit.?!?!?!?
And Team Jen all the way.
A what what in the butt...what what
I really like JA and Mayer is a complete douche! She should have never gotten with him...but I think many of us can attest to making bad relationship choices...she just has to go through it in front of millions of ppl.
I was at a party last night - there was a trash magazine sitting on the table with Jolie & Aniston on the front cover - a group of about 8 women ranging from the age of 30 to 65 all said they liked Aniston better! These were not desperate, divorced, lonely, cheated on women either. One of them didn't care for Jen one way or the other prior to the "divorce" but after that shit went down it was Team Aniston all the way. Everyone agreed that Jolie would end up getting hers and that she will split from Pitt sooner rather than later. I found it refreshing that the group of people I was associating with all have the morals and integrity to see through the piece of shit that is Jolie. It was a relief!
So the question remains: Why do so many NORMAL people see through the bullshit of Jen being some f*cking lonely spinster and Jolie being a slutbag hell bent on revamping her image, but the media can't????
John Mayers tell-all? Couldn't I just take an ambien to fall asleep?
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Pick up your socks and drop your slots, we're going to a party.
I just painstakingly went through all of Mayer's twitterings and I found nothing of any relevance whatsoever, just more confirmation of his douchyness
Submitted by OXA on Wed, 03/18/2009 - 3:04pm.
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Yes, heavy-duty lip gloss....
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"Last night, Darth Vader came down from the planet Vulcan and said that if I didn't take out Lorraine, that he'd melt my brain."
If he is that desperate for attention, he should go visit Octopussy. Papps are camped at her house so take her some diapers or lip gloss.
I said right from the beginning (to the BF who gave me the bird and said "Who cares?") that John was bad news and Jennifer would regret tapping that! Boy was I right.
Poor Rachael, maybe it is time to get back with Ross. After all he knows all about using the wrong name at inopportune times.
A John Mayer Tell-All? LOL! Seriously who confirmed that they have even broken up?
It be a slow news week for Star, because this is just a heavy a load of bullshit.
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NO I'M NOT HISPANIC I'M JUST A CRAZY CHICK HENCE CHICA LOCA ANYWAY TO THE IDIOTS IF YOU DON'T LIKE WHAT I SAY BOO HOO SCROLL DOWN TO THE NEXT COMMENT & TO THE PROFESSORS THAT LIKE TO TELL US WE CAN'T SPELL KISS OUR....
I would never buy these books anyway. Somebody always blogs all the best parts. This is the information age, baby!
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"Oh you little bitch troll from hell!" -- Patsy Stone
Sad is the only word I can come up with. Lets see if this is true and how his reputation is gonna survive if he does anything close to this.
蜘龍====================龍蜘
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(='.'=)
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I don't think it is really fair to call it an obsession! It is her JOB to look good, therefore she is going to have to invest time and money into it. And um, he really should do the same. I actually think it is BS, though.
paris herpes!
I just started yoga three weeks ago and last night I caught myself watching a special on piranhas.
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Are those who Twitter twits or twats?
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Chicago area 5K race 2009: http://rallyforautism.com/
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read. —Groucho Marx
Obsession with yoga and astrology and weird TV watching habits? Sounds a little like me sometimes. I tend to watch nature shows while stoned though...is that really all THAT weird?! At least yoga keeps you fit! It is really balancing too...see now I'm getting WEIRD now!
"The master's tools will never dismantle the master's house." Audre Lorde
I guess I'm taking crazy pill because I have never now nor in the past seen what makes Aniston interesting, or attractive. As far as John John I guess (if this is true;-) he's a snitch but I'm sure from seeing how much he talked about his past relationships you'd think she'd know that. Poor baby couldn't keep a man if she paid one. Oh well, peace and love man, peace and love.
I would give absolutely anything in the world to write for Star magazine.
Honestly, there is not one of your possessions that I wouldn't sacrifice to become their creative director. Even those throws that you keep for the sentimental value that they hold. I would trade those memories of Grandma for one shot with Star.
EXCLUSIVE! Jen to take out the bitches who wronged her. Why Jen is meeting with bio-terrorists.
EXCLUSIVE! Jen's SEX-pact with Satan. How Jen became to other woman to Rosemary.
EXCLUSIVE! JEN: I WANT TO BE A MAN! Jen tries to win back the cock that she lost with Brad.
EXCLUSIVE! JEN tells Courtney: WATCH YOUR MAN BITCH!
EXCLUSIVE: JEN TO COME OUT AS A PRAYING MANTIS.
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@ZiggyStardust:
I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!- angel_i
I agree, his behavior is off the charts asshole when it comes to kissing and telling every time he bangs someone.
I can't tell if he's 1) simply a giant attention whore that gets off on paps knowing all about his personal business 2) is the douche king and can't contemplate that the women he fucks have feelings and deserve some privacy 3) is really THAT oblivious and lacking in self-awareness to the point where he doesn't even realize that the way he's acting is not normal.
judging from his dumbass sleeve tat and douche dates with pete wentz, I'll go with #2. I get a sociopath vibe from him.
John Mayer's music sucks. He has to supplement is income somehow.
Submitted by fuzzyslippers on Wed, 03/18/2009 - 1:31pm.
I'm with fuzzy.
Both before and after the ampersand!
Morbid. My dog's name is Morbid.
Maybe I'm still drunk from last night, but Joel Madden looks good in that pic.
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Douchechill!
I love Nicole Richie.
Also, I call bullshit on the John Mayer stuff. He's a douche, but this story seems far fetched.
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Douchechill!
Unless you've been married for 20 years, stick with "baby" and the like in the clinch. Never wrong, not that specific, easy to remember.
Mayer is a media whore and probably Googles himself on a daily basis. He was doing the same crap the 1st time they broke up & she went back to him a second time, so frankly, I don't feel any sympathy for her if he does whore out info on their relationship. She was stupid to get back together w/him. She's 40 years old now, how long is it going to take her to learn from her past mistakes? She keeps doing the same dumb stuff over and over again.
Oh and John seems like a total predator the way he always picks vulnerable women and then kisses and tells. He makes me sick. He is a USER.
HAVE SOME DUMBASS WATER. - Charles Manson!
Submitted by Miss Thang on Wed, 03/18/2009 - 2:01pm.
I feel so embarrassed for this chick. She should be on top of her game. She looks great, is funny in her movies, etc. but the tabloid press is so hell-bent on positioning her as the uber-desperate, lonely spinster. That sucks. I can't wait until Brangelina's marriage fails. Angie looks like a fucking corpse and she's considered the great beauty of our time? Fuck that shit.
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Well Fucking Said!!!!
Uncle will ALWAYS be "Team Aniston"!!!
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"...Soon we'll be away from here. Step on the gas and wipe that tear away...."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PF0OjrFIVWY
I feel so embarrassed for this chick. She should be on top of her game. She looks great, is funny in her movies, etc. but the tabloid press is so hell-bent on positioning her as the uber-desperate, lonely spinster. That sucks. I can't wait until Brangelina's marriage fails. Angie looks like a fucking corpse and she's considered the great beauty of our time? Fuck that shit.
HAVE SOME DUMBASS WATER. - Charles Manson!
what an immature loser
after this anyone would be foolish to ever trust this tool
guy should be shunned
I don't have a problem with Aniston,but WHY IS SHE STILL RELEVANT?
The dead dog movie?
really?
If it's true, she deserves it for taking him back. she really is rachel green.
*edit to add: If I had to fuck Mayer, I would be tempted to imagine it was Brad too!!
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I cant stand her i wish she would just go away!
The Madden twins look like little serial killers.
I like Jen, but if this true, I don't feel bad for her at all. She deserves it for even giving that douche a second of her time.
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You know, maybe if you ate more comfort food, you wouldn't have to go around shooting people.
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LOL! Yeah - I couldn't think of anything better than that today, either. I'm tired and busy:)
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I thought the one word pretty much summed it up. I get exhausted putting anymore energy into assholes.
wow...he twitters A LOT. doesn't help that 98% of his twits are grossly egocentric and conceited. it's kind of hilarious. silly douche.
I've noticed a pattern: every celebrity that I sorta liked before, I begin to really dislike after they get a twitter account and make 2389234 daily asinine updates.
MK has proven to be the only exception.
This guy sounds like some kind of fairy to me. A normal guy wants his women to do yoga and tan all day long. I want her to be obsessed with looking good. And I don't give a rats a$$ what name a hot girl calls me when I'm doing her. Listen, we know that these rich women are a little (or in some cases a lot) nuts -- only washing their hair in Evian and so on. ANy guy who is looking for money to "gossip" about an x is douche bag.
John Mayer needs to date some girl from that 'Hills' show on MTV.
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BUT WHAT ABOUT THE BABIES?
Wow big surprise, Jen is a vain and vapid woman, and John Mayer is a douche.
I don't give a flying fuck what this douchebag has to say about ANYTHING, much less what sexay times is like with Jenny in the Sack!
I LOATHE John Mayer-he is #1 with a bullet on the list of annoying Douchebags!
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Why in bronzer on the nutsack hell is she naked, but he's fully clothed? Take all them panties off, Zac!