It's Me Or Twitter
Star Magazine (via SS) thinks they know the real reason why the fartytale romance of this generation was flushed down the toilet. The reason is TWITTER! Jennifer Aniston was apparently completely over John Mayer choosing his Twitter over her twatter.
Jen apparently would flip out and punch her bagina bone with her Blackberry whenever John updated his Twitter without calling or texting her ass. John would take hours upon hours to return her calls and when he did, he would tell her he was too busy. But he obviously wasn't too busy to spread the gospel according to douchebags on Twitter.
A source said, "Every few hours, sometimes minutes, he'd update with some stupid line. And in her mind, she was like 'He has time for all this Twittering, but he can't send me a text, an email, make a call?' He didn't even deny it. He knew he was avoiding her. So when she called him on it and ended things, he just said OK, and that he was sorry it didn't work out. He took the break-up like a man."
Basically, he wasn't into her ass anymore and would rather rub his limp dick all over his Twitter page (you know he does that) than call her. But bitch should really count herself lucky that John dropped his douche nuggets on Twitter rather than drop them on her.
Now whenever Jenny sees a blue ass bird flying by, she's going to throw a rock or shoe at it. A damn bird stole her man!
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She is a twit, he's a twat, his twitterings sucks and so do they. He's just not that into you babe so just hop away already
He sure does.
I think it is sad that anyone would read his tweets. Why bother? Who cares what he is doing?
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"One thing that we pride ourselves on is [that] we're not spoiled brats."
– Kim Kardashian
I've read his tweets, they're not that interesting. He should just give it up.
Who would want her twatter anyway?
xoxoxoxox
Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
I'm going to admit it. After one of these or a Celebitchy post a couple weeks ago, I decided to follow John Mayer on Twitter. BIG MISTAKE! Dude updates like every 5 minutes and with the DUMBEST things. I quit that bitch after less than a day.
"Choosing his Twitter over her twatter". And that ladies and gentlemen is why this is the first website I check every day.
Submitted by The Fly on Tue, 03/24/2009 - 11:58am.
Remember the days when celebrities had mystique? Like you didn't know what they were doing every minute of the day? These days every famewhore is giving their opinion on Michael Phelps or telling you they're on the couch eating spaghetti while watching "Dumbo" on DVD.
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Yes. I preferred it when they hid behind their public image. I don't care what they think, as long as they stick to entertaining.
In the case of John Mayer - I wish he'd just go away. He has never been entertaining.
I think Jen is just keeping her options open. She's on location again (now in NY), he's doing his music crap, why prolong this relationship if he's seriously not ready to commit? I do believe they ended things on good terms. I'm sure the baby/marriage topic has come up many times over the past year and she probably accepted the fact that he wasn't the "one" a long time ago. Shit, everyone needs to get laid now and then. And now she's done with that and it's back to work.
I'm sure the entire "choosing twitter over me" is enough to piss off any woman - I guarantee it cemented her feelings that they were done and realizing how immature he truly is - the sex alone wasn't enough to turn a blind eye to his games.
Submitted by angry_secretary on Tue, 03/24/2009 - 2:02pm.
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Heh, I live way over on the flipside, in San Francisco.
Burlesque is the most fun, you should try it. It helps to have experience dancing/performing, but if you're creative enough and have the balls to do it, go for it. Find a show near you and go talk to people - ask them how to get involved.
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Something came out of my butt, it smelled funny, and it made a sound.
-Stimpson J. Cat
I know Mayer is an ass slot but this picture of them is actually cute.
Why can't the press use pics like these?
We have to endure all the faux-tographs of other looser couples, they could have run a pic like this of Jen.
"Going gray is like ejaculating. You know it can happen prematurely, but when it actually does, it's a total shock." MAH BOO!!!
Mayer is such a huge douche. No wonder he gets his rocks off on twitter.
HA! These John and Jen stories crack me up. Whoregelina gotta be paying someone at Star to write this shit because it seems like they are the only ones reporting this so called “break-up”.
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NO I'M NOT HISPANIC I'M JUST A CRAZY CHICK HENCE CHICA LOCA ANYWAY TO THE IDIOTS IF YOU DON'T LIKE WHAT I SAY BOO HOO SCROLL DOWN TO THE NEXT COMMENT & TO THE PROFESSORS THAT LIKE TO TELL US WE CAN'T SPELL KISS OUR....
johnnysgirl, do you live near manhattan? I've been thinking about giving burlesque dancing a go but am kind of intimidated about how to get started.
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is this real life?
why is this happening to me?
is this going to be forever...
mayer's just so damn fug and average! jen should do a lil dance
Twitter and Face book are both stupid. I don't give a shit what anyone is doing every second of the day.
i'd be jen anyday. bitch has a bajillion bucks and can do whatever the fuck she pleases.
Man, this Twitter shit is ridic. How do people have time for this tom foolery? I would never get anything done.
One of the gals in my burlesque group is really young and does the Twitter (on top of Myspace and Facebook of course) and it made me realize that when I was that age we didn't have all this stuff. We had the phone. Ya know? Not to sound like Grandma Moses or anything (I'm only 33) but it's true.
Does anyone else feel this way? Or is it just crazy ol' me?
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Something came out of my butt, it smelled funny, and it made a sound.
-Stimpson J. Cat
@ Harlee25
Your Life Path painting is very beautiful, you are very talented!
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"I'm in the Dark here!!!"
Submitted by Stock Broker on Tue, 03/24/2009 - 11:59am.
MK should start his own version of "Twitter" on Dlisted.
He can call it "Spitter".
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He may prefer "Swallower".
Ba-dum-bump.
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"There's a kid on a Pogo stick in front if my house. It's nearly midnight so let's assume he's been drinking. This should end well for him."
- excerpt from Christopher Walken's Twitter
I can't imagine that she's as desperate as MK & the rest of the gossip matrix make her out to be.What's there to be desperate about?! She's got money in the bank...a tight little cougar body...and guys wanna do her.(ME)The man who dumped her has 6 kids with a psycho.Who's winning here?
I think the tabloids are bullshit too but I think John is the biggest douche alive. He must really have a magical dick for anyone to put up with him and want to go back.
I can't blame anyone for being entranced by a magical dick but you can break free,
蜘龍====================龍蜘
(\__/)
(='.'=)
(")_(")
He's such a loser. I think that this "source" is a friend of his not hers. Last time they split it was the same bs about how he wasn't in to her. Same smell - different day. Yawn. If she goes back to his sorry ass again she's an idiot and I'll never defend her ass again!
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I'm your huckleberry...BITCH!!
Well if she goes back a third time then I have no sympathy
蜘龍====================龍蜘
(\__/)
(='.'=)
(")_(")
Europe, Jennifer, Europe, that is where you will find a man who will cherish you.
"I hate you!"
"I believe you"
Fuck is she high maintence. When she stops like acting like "my-bio clock-is-ticking-I-need-a-peen-stat!" & "Do-you-like-me-really-like-me lunatic, she'll have an adult relationship with a man.
A real woman would have flushed that douche months ago.
Therapy, Jen, therapy.
Poor jennifer. She cant catch a fucking break
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visit my art gallery :)
http://www.galleryhh.blogspot.com
Nanners ~ I think it will happen within the next 5 years..............hell, he isn't getting any younger!
Submitted by Dallas on Tue, 03/24/2009 - 12:23pm.
One day in the near future, MK will write a post about how Mayer just married a stripper! It is inevitable.
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I'll look forward to that in a 2034 Dlisted post.
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CROCS are made in the devil's workshop. Yes, they are!
One day in the near future, MK will write a post about how Mayer just married a stripper! It is inevitable.
Jen, pat yourself on the back and say adi-fucking-os!
"He took it like a man"...
Any man who choose "twitter" or "twat" is a pussy....
Well, I have this to say...Aniston has some shit taste in men.
Last one cheated on her with a cadaver and this one cheated on her with himself.
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Submitted by gigi jenkins on Tue, 03/24/2009 - 12:08pm.
LMAO
Morbid. My dog's name is Morbid.
Submitted by parissucksliterally
I think someone at Star Magazine has it out for Aniston.
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I think Aniston has it out for Aniston.
Fool me once....
Submitted by Stock Broker on Tue, 03/24/2009 - 11:45am.
agreed.
she's also bf with Khudson. nuff said.
Morbid. My dog's name is Morbid.
Jen...I'm available for booty call duty.
or clitter
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is this real life?
why is this happening to me?
is this going to be forever...
Did you not learn anything from starring in He's Just Not That Into You? stoopid twat.
Submitted by Nanners on Tue, 03/24/2009 - 11:52am.
Submitted by The Fly on Tue, 03/24/2009 - 11:49am.
Am on computer reading Dlisted. Just had something to drank.
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On Dlisted thinking about what to have for lunch. Pizza?
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I feel like taco bell today. Every few weeks i get a strong craving for taco bell!
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smack. smack. sugar smack. give me a smack and ill smack ya back!
jen should just hire a man whore like madonna did with her little baby jesus
fuck these smelly boy cat celebutards
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Jennifer Aniston was apparently completely over John Mayer choosing his Twitter over her twatter
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M.K.
This may be the line of the year.
I think someone at Star Magazine has it out for Aniston.
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"One thing that we pride ourselves on is [that] we're not spoiled brats."
– Kim Kardashian
Submitted by Stock Broker on Tue, 03/24/2009 - 11:36am.
LOL @ "Chiniston"
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"Oderint dum metuant." Gaius Julius Caesar Augustus Germanicus (aka Caligula)
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MK should start his own version of "Twitter" on Dlisted.
He can call it "Spitter".
Remember the days when celebrities had mystique? Like you didn't know what they were doing every minute of the day? These days every famewhore is giving their opinion on Michael Phelps or telling you they're on the couch eating spaghetti while watching "Dumbo" on DVD.
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Help me!
Nanners ~ pizza for lunch? Count me in. I like extra cheese.
Chin, try sucking his dick first thing each morning.
Are we going to have to hear about this for the next four years too.
He seems the type to do that..
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Stock Broker,
Wait...that's bad??
Snowy!
Right!?!?! It's the babies that suffer!!!!!!
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Um, no, he did NOT "take the break-up like a man." He avoided her until she dumped him because he is an immature, user asshole. I had a boyfriend who did the exact same thing - took forever to reply to me, yet updated his Facebook on his iPhone (which he was on constantly) ever 10 minutes. Transparent bullshit. He is hot, but he is a douche, and Jen is better off without him.
(I don't understand why she can't find a quality guy. She is really pretty, and seems to have a fun personality. Perhaps the wealth and the fame just attracts assholes, I don't know...but it's JOHN MAYER. She should have known, lol.)