This Bitch.....
It's about that time for your weekly eyeball calisthenics, because Blohan is speaking from her farts again. Reading this whole interview she gave to E! News seriously gave me a major work out. My eyeballs are fucking buff now and I almost have a damn six-pack from laughing so hard.
Eff the gym today, just read this mess. Just make sure you aren't eating a sandwich or sucking on a dick, because you might choke on it. The lil' cokey fauxmosexual lays it on thick. I bolded the truly hilarious parts for you to tell your friends at Happy Hour tonight. They'll cackle until they barf.
On fighting with her partner in pussay :
"They need to stop saying we're fighting. People telling lies about me to her and all this garbage. I'm really a good person and I have a good heart and just want to work. The only reason I go to clubs is to hear Samantha spin or be normal."On being a cracked out, boozed up piece of trash:
"I don't drink, I don't do drugs and I don't lie. I love to act and write and be creative, and I want to help people by playing characters that can send a positive message out to whomever may need it."On growing up:
"I move forward and I change. Life's too short not to. If people would just leave my personal life alone—because it's really not that interesting—then I could land a great role. But all the sicko fans and the noise is so distracting."On the future:
"I'd like to have my own charity, do work overseas, be in Oscar-nominated films, write movies, produce movies/shows/videos, design clothes, ake music, write books, etc. It's all possible if people would just stop judging me and accusing me and making me out to be this aloof, spoiled, ungrateful and unprofessional person that I am not and could never be."On being a classy, tactful...I can barely type this shit:
"With everything that's gone on with my family, my parents still taught us how to have tact, class, respect for others and how to follow our dreams and never change who we are for anyone or anything. No. 1 is perfect, and perfect is impossible. You have to make mistakes to learn so that you can grow up and live your life the right way. Things happen, and you have to move on, be strong and believe in yourself. It would be really nice if people would believe in me."
Oh, I believe in you. I believe that you're a crackwhoreslutbitchskank who will suck off a squirrel who suffers from halitosis of the peen for just one meth hit. But that's your charm!
Seriously, that interview had so many great lines. It's like Christopher Guest wrote that shit! CLASS?! DON'T DO DRUGS?! FANS?!
Oh, someone's been cutting her bad shit with a little of that delusional dust.
• 
Snideychick sez:
I had a shiney-assed boyfriend (years ago) who said almost the same things about me. My nagging about his drinking and drugging was the reason he didn't work. He wanted to be a professional athlete/research scientist/humanitarian/delusional asshole, and he could be if I got off his back.
So I did. I kicked him out!
number 1 isn't perfect, number 1 is the highest score, dumbass!
People probably make more money than she has with thier jobs at fast food places. Yet she gets to urine her poor me piss party all over the internet. Get in the unemployment line with everyone else you un-entitled scud.
You know, I hope she never gets reigned in by her family or taken to jail humiliatingly. We need Lohan to stay in the clouds and batshit as fuck, because Britney and Paris are taking their crazy pills and Valtrex and aren't interesting anymore.
-.-
The internet, where the men are real men,
the women are real men, and the children are the FBI.
Lindsay honey, reality check time: You're trash, your White Oprah momma is trash, your mesh shirt wearing Dad is mega trash and the apple don't fall far from the white trash tree.
Has this moron ever thought that the reason she is not getting any work is because she is not that good of an actor?
i'm sad that i'm responding this chick needs to go away--please paps no more lindsay info i'm so sick of seeing her on here! i love you mk--break the cycle--move on and ban this wencharoo from d-listed!
she has all the signs of being completely delusional. Besides sounding like the letter was written when she was either drunk or high, notice how she blames EVERYONE but herself.
Hahahaha.
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@ZiggyStardust:
I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!- angel_i
She's a modern Marilyn, too drugged, hung-over and scared to work; too enamored of Hollywood and her image to take a small role.
Submitted by SICKITTEN on Tue, 03/24/2009 - 11:50pm.
If only Lohan could pull a RDJ. If she put all of her energy into her career as she does her demons and drama, she'd do quite well.
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OR, give in to her addictions to the extent that she ends up incarcerated. For real this time.
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
If only Lohan could pull a RDJ. If she put all of her energy into her career as she does her demons and drama, she'd do quite well.
Submitted by parissucksliterally on Tue, 03/24/2009 - 11:13pm.
I seriously think she has convinced herself that this bullshit is true.
*
I think you're right.
Don't they cover this shit in rehab? That 'r' word?
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
Tigerlilly exposed!!!1!
http://www.dailymotion.com/user/fluffybunnykins666/video/x8l7lj_shes-a-t...
she makes such an ass out of herself whenever she speaks. sealing her hollywood coffin, if you will.
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"One thing that we pride ourselves on is [that] we're not spoiled brats."
– Kim Kardashian
Submitted by Manimal5 on Tue, 03/24/2009 - 11:28pm.
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Tue, 03/24/2009 - 11:22pm.
Her "Free Blowjobs for every white male between the ages of 18-25" program didn't qualify.
Hahaha.
She really needs to start the "Free BJ's for Movie Producers Campaign".
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She just needs to rearrange the players in her "Free BJs for drug addicts" program.
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
Why is she speaking? And why are people writing down what she says? I just can't...
I've always admitted that I'm ruled by my passions.
- Elizabeth Taylor
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Tue, 03/24/2009 - 11:22pm.
Her "Free Blowjobs for every white male between the ages of 18-25" program didn't qualify.
Hahaha.
She really needs to start the "Free BJ's for Movie Producers Campaign".
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Pick up your socks and drop your slots, we're going to a party.
Submitted by Manimal5 on Tue, 03/24/2009 - 11:25pm.
Submitted by parissucksliterally on Tue, 03/24/2009 - 11:13pm.
I seriously think she has convinced herself that this bullshit is true
I haven't heard so much bullshit since Tom Criuse said "I'm Not Gay".
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Tom would've been more convincing if he didn't have to pull Travolta's cock out of his mouth when we didn't understand him the first time.
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
Submitted by parissucksliterally on Tue, 03/24/2009 - 11:13pm.
I seriously think she has convinced herself that this bullshit is true
I haven't heard so much bullshit since Tom Criuse said "I'm Not Gay".
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Pick up your socks and drop your slots, we're going to a party.
Submitted by Manimal5 on Tue, 03/24/2009 - 11:17pm.
"I'd like to have my own charity....
Would "Money for Me" be considered a charity?
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Her "Free Blowjobs for every white male between the ages of 18-25" program didn't qualify.
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
"I'd like to have my own charity....
Would "Money for Me" be considered a charity?
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Pick up your socks and drop your slots, we're going to a party.
Submitted by Sheeps on Tue, 03/24/2009 - 11:07pm.
Writing is not just tapping your fingers on a keyboard, anymore than acting is standing in front of a camera.
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Well my writing for Penthouse Forum will eventually win me the Pullitzer, a prestigious award bestowed by chronic masturbators.
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
I seriously think she has convinced herself that this bullshit is true.
*********************************************
"One thing that we pride ourselves on is [that] we're not spoiled brats."
– Kim Kardashian
Submitted by Sheeps on Tue, 03/24/2009 - 11:07pm.
Writing is not just tapping your fingers on a keyboard, anymore than acting is standing in front of a camera
it's Sheep like you that keep me from an Oscar.... why won't you just let us "artists" be great?!
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"We play the game,
with the bravery of being out of range."
Sorry Hohan but you lost all credibility after the first rehab stunt....or was it the second...oh maybe it was the third time.
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Pick up your socks and drop your slots, we're going to a party.
Writing is not just tapping your fingers on a keyboard, anymore than acting is standing in front of a camera.
She really IS a great actress. In Herbie Fully Loaded, I thought she was okay to drive.
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
It's kind of sad to see her blame all her problems on others. For a moment it makes me consider the challenges of being a celebrity, especially someone with a history like hers. Then I see through the bullshit and READ WHAT SHE SAYS. "I could get oscars if it weren't for MY FANS!", and "I would be a great actress if it weren't for MY FAME!"... WHAT THE FUCK!? That woman is nuts.
This stupid asshole has a dent in her Maserati.
Submitted by r5bales on Tue, 03/24/2009 - 9:52pm.
It is always someone else's fault that she isn't in an Oscar winning movie,
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Not always just "someone else's" fault. LiLo can get specific with entirely plausible blame, like the time when she was totally innocent of any wrong-doing because "the Black kid did it" and of course she wasn't wearing her own coke filled pants at the time either....*eye roll*....
I will send this useless WHORE pants full of pills, heroin, whatever will get the job done, if that skank will just fuckin' OD already...
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Spoiled little liar.
It is always someone else's fault that she isn't in an Oscar winning movie, that she can't have charities, that she fights with SamRo.....
This is the story of her life: "It's not my fault."
The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
Submitted by Deb on Tue, 03/24/2009 - 9:03pm.
Anyone who feels the need to tell the world that he or she is a really good person cannot be believed.
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Psssh...I agree! *tiger eyes darting back and forth*...
I'm a good tiger! I don't maul, and kill or cause people to die for my din-dins...I'd like to be creative...you know maybe a gig in Vegas with R-...er, well, no...I'd like to write...yes, yes, that's it...write...COOKBOOKS...I love to cook...I have a recipe for liver and faba beans you wouldn't believe...Er...I'm a good tiger!
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Doesn't drink? Doesn't do drugs? Doesn't lie? Is tactful and... classy?
ARE
YOU
SERIOUS
????????
Saying she doesn't lie was probably the best one... Someone needs a little dose of reality. There's photographic evidence being posted on the internet pretty much EVERY day disproving every one of those statements. On the other hand, this is the most hilarious shit I've heard out of her mouth possibly ever. She's so trashy. and so delusional. I love it. ON a serious note, I think people would respect her more if she would fuckin take responsibility and own up to all the dumb shit she does instead of denying all of it when theres clearly proof that she did.
Anyone who feels the need to tell the world that he or she is a really good person cannot be believed.
It reminds me of when Britney and Fredo in "The Godfather II" declared they were smart.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
And don't forget this is the bitch that got caught wearing a $10,000 fur coat she'd stolen from some club.
I feel really bad for her
She's ungrateful, disrespectful, seems to be a liar, aka an all around cunt
The thing is, I don't think she knows. She's delusional and doesn't understand what all the hate is about.
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Brand, Jen, and Angelina sing about love
http://youtube.com/watch?v=baSNJpfpjbE
Submitted by Clarisse on Tue, 03/24/2009 - 7:05pm.
UKer,
LOL...The ladies are pretty protective of THorny!
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i'm just protecting my family.Thornhill is my family. I don't need any other beeshes protecting him, but i'm still grateful of mah horz. I can't be around all the time.
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www.poe200th.com
Happy Birthday, in your kingdom by the sea..
"I believe that you're a crackwhoreslutbitchskank who will suck off a squirrel who suffers from halitosis of the peen for just one meth hit."
BWHAHAHAHA!! "halitosis of the peen" MK, you just made my day!
*lifts first cocktail of the evening in MK's direction*
"Rhoda, we're all aware that you're an adroit liar"
Coke whore.
Wow..Can she possibly REALLY believe all that?
And why is it everyone else's fault that she's not getting movie roles???
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Never go with a Hippy to a Second Location
You got to love it when celebrities justify your hatred of them.
*~*
These other (HA!) just want to be me - Brit Brit
Submitted by Sugaroo on Tue, 03/24/2009 - 4:32pm.
What planet does this delusional skankfreckle hail from? Does she honestly believe anyone will believe a word of this astounding pile of bullcaca?
*****
lmao
"Skankfreckle" is the hot word slut of the month!
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For the love of all that is hairy, WHY DOES ANYONE CARE ABOUT THIS TWATWAFFLE??????? --Sugaroo
If Lindsay Lohan is so tired of being judged by the public resulting in her to lose acting jobs, then may I suggest another line of work?
Given her penchant for illict drugs, she would make a wonderful mule or research test participant for any number of third-world pharmaceutical companies.
May I also say that large sunglasses are so 2006.
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Fashion is art that you wear - L.G.
LOLOLOLOLOLOL! The lies are hurting my brain. Someone's in need of a job.
I see loose change and bus tokens in her near future.
UKer,
LOL...The ladies are pretty protective of THorny! I know I'd cut a bitch, cuz he explained "Pikey" to me!
Plus, Lilo is pretty much a waste of good air to most....BIG SMILE!!!
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She looks like shit.
Hollywood is a great way to fuck up your childhood. I cannot believe her mother is working her ass off to get the next sister into the same position.
What a selfish bitch.
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The New Improved Wyle E
Some of us are still recovering from seeing Vadge's vintage sascrotch the first time. I still won't let my dog sit on my lap because it gives me terrible flashbacks.
Back in Dec '06, I was looking for a new apartment here in L.A. A woman showed me around an apartment(Hollywood or West Hollywood, can't remember)and chirped, "And Lindsay Lohan used to live in this building."
I left, never went back, or returned the woman's calls.
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F.ucked up
I.nsecure
N.eurotic
E.motional
i am a 'Sicko' fan i thought that documentary was great. i don't know any other fans she is talking about, who else is a fan of hers besides UKers?