Robert Pattinson Hates Soap
Robert Pattinson also hates shampoo. And conditioner. And shower puffs. Fuck, he even hates water, because the dude apparently never washes his shit and it's starting to gross out whores on the set of New Moon. Pig Pen lives in RPattz! So the sparkle dust must really be shiny dirt particles.
Some source who hasn't grown to appreciate the fresh scene of a farting unicorn in the morning told E! (via SS), "He stinks. I mean, it's awful. He never showers, and it drives people on the set crazy. He completely reeks."
Robert himself will be the first to tell you that he isn't really a fan of that washing his ass or anything else. A while ago Robert said he can go weeks, if not YEARS, without washing his magical forest hair, "I have so much residue crap in my hair from years and years and years of not washing it and not having any sense of personal hygiene whatsoever."
I'm sure there has to be another reason why RPattz likes to make cheese on his body. He must feed the glittery unicorns that frolic through his hair! If he doesn't wash his business, they can nibble on all the cheese they want! And he also probably thinks that if he reeks like Eww de Dick Butter, it will keep the sparkle-hungry fangirls off of him. Wrong. Because they will gladly lick his vampire ass crack. Butt jelly and all.
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There are to many comments that cracked me up on here to quote...
But the people who say "I'd still tear him up/hit that"...whatever, I have to ask, if it was any random hot guy that smelt to high heaven, would you still invite him into your bed or is RP the exception? Just wondering....
Also, I don't know what's scarier, that he supposedly smells or that he's jumping in a limo with Brittney...? j/k....
*also, I don't believe that he smells. I believe people like to make crap up for their own sick fun. But that's just my opinion. I feel sorry for him and his co-star Kristen...they are like two pieces of meat thrown in a yard to be torn up by packs of rabid dogs and cats.
So I too am really slow to the game, but saw Twilight this weekend, have not read the book, and am way old, but overall thought that it was much better than expected. It was something I would have watched repeatedly as a teenager--Edward really did seem in love with Bella. But there was a lot of staring and open mouths which I thought was sort of sexy at first but then very odd and repetitive.
Better than the average teen fare.
James Haven had the unfortunate displeasure of being seated next to Robert Pattinson at the Brit Brit awards. No, it is not some British award ceremony, it is Britney Spears own awards ceremony for who she thinks is a "Hottie".
James Haven was late to arrive and couldn't find his seat. Jamie Spears Sr. told James Haven to take his seat which was at Britney's table. At first James Haven was flattered to be at the table with Hollywood's favorite vampire, but then a foul odor crept under James Haven's strils (that's short for nostrils). James Haven thought it was the Beaver Stew but no, then James Haven thought it was perhaps Regis Philbin's feet because Reege had his shoes off...but wrong again!
James Haven followed the foul aroma to Edward Cullen! Nasty! James Haven tried to play coy and asked Edw er Robert what cologne he had on, Robert, in a slow voice smoothe as velvet (now James Haven understands why Angie wants to play the part of Bella in the next production!) said: "Why nothing at all I haven't showered in a month"
James Haven felt faint from the fumes and asked Regis if he wouldn't mind fanning him. Regis asked James Haven what was that rancid odor? Before you knew it, everyone at the table was moving to the next table. Deborah Norville was kind enough to let James Haven sit on her lap. The stench from across the pond is the reason Daddy Spears let James Haven have that seat! Well James Haven knows how to play dirty too!
Robert Pattinson didn't care that he was the only one left at the table. It looked like he enjoyed it, sticking his spoon in everyone's Beaver. At the end of the evening a limo pulled up, Britney and RP jumped in and took off. James Haven hoped Brit had smelling salts cause she was gonna need it!
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See James Haven in an Oscar winning performance!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w9cKFiCrSU
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Years and years ago, I worked at a bookstore with a girl who told me that (before she had a job) she once went two months without washing her hair just to see what it looked like. What did it look like, I asked? Pretty nasty, she replied.
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Did I dream this belief or did I believe this dream?
--Peter Gabriel
He's a yummy little treat.
Patz can wipe his nose AND ass all over me ANYTIME! And I'll LIKE IT!
"Bitch, Get out of here! You spilled my Skittles!"
Ew. Gross. Yuck.
I thought this would be the time to bring out the tweener talk.
That mothahfukah is nasty.
What's with the wanna-be James Dean look??
Okay, I just watched the movie for the 2nd time. Twilight casting, I thought Rob P. was perfect, I would have picked a better actress for Bella. Taylor Lautner is adorable but his Halloween Store wig was laughable. Nicki Reed sucked as Rosalie, and her ass was HUGE in the baseball scene. And the guy who played Jasper looked like a fucking muppet on belladonna. Oh yeah and peter F. as Carlisle, also laughable...like everyone wouldn't be able to tell this guy's a vampire, he's fucking antiqued with the white face powder ONLY in the face, the rest of his skin is normal flesh tone! It's some Milton Berle shit!
He smokes, so I'd imagine he smells like stale cigarettes. I hate the smell, but who gives a fuck. I'd drag him into the shower for sexy-times if I had to.
As for the hair, so what? It's not long and therefore any visible signs of greasiness isn't all that obvious. He's shaved it off once before, he can do it again.
You think he styles that shit with hairspray? Hair's natural oil gives him that look!
Sorry, I'd still hit that nine ways till Sunday.
I've only seen the movie once, on the day it came out. I have a copy that I bought for my daughter, but she is grounded, so she can't open it yet! I'm definitely going to watch for the seen where Bella's mom has armpit hair.
Edward never reminded me of Dylan McKay, but he did remind me of James Dean when he made his entrance into the cafeteria. He was like the James Dean of the undead!
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"Wait until the bitch finds the family of wombats living in her chocha." - MK
He's probably tired of people trying to do him...seems pretty gross dude!:0)
The only nice thing to say about KStew was that she looked the part, surpirsing though because she is the most androgynous looking gal ever. I truththfully thought she was a plain looking teen boy in Panic Room. I agree that her acting could have been better done by a block of wood.
Ummm...isn't a deliberate lack of regard for one's personal hygiene a sign of some kind of mental illness? Perhaps the studios could send him (and allegedly McConagay) for some evaluation.
Submitted by Classof1997 on Wed, 03/25/2009 - 2:04pm.
If I were single, I'd so hit that.
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Psh. He makes me want to start a movement to ban straight marriage.
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He's a superhuman moron...
ISMU: Seriously, imagine him whispering "free candy, little boy?" in that voice and tell me you don't get the heebie jeebies.
AAAAAAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA I love it!! You crack me up!!
I just had a serious convo with my co-workers on what I thought worked and didn't in the movie. Don't laugh. LOL Nikki as Rosalie: BURMP, negatory. KStew as Bella: BURMP again. The garage is too small for all their luxury vehicles to fit in, Edward's bedroom is too small to fit that massive bed he gets Bella in Eclipse, and while I LOVED Edi as Laurent, Laurent isn't black in the book, and Bella is supposed to look zoned out and "dazzled" when Edward looks at her, not like she's having an epileptic fit. Oh! And the actress who plays Bella's mother has armpit hair blazing from her tank top in the leaving Arizona scene. Ew!
Did anyone else get a Luke Perry vibe from Rob in the scene where she meets his family and he says, "blah blah blah I'm going to show Bella the rest of the house" and rolls his eyes at them for being weird?! I giggle every time because he emotes so much like Dylan McKay!!
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"We don't hide our crazy people in the South. We put them on display," Julia Sugarbaker
Watched the movie with the kids this weekend (my second viewing) and I must say that I liked it better the second time (maybe it was the acid) j/k
Aside from Kristen Stewart making me want to stick her face in onion dip, I think Pattinson was perfect as the vampire with a heart. The others were just ok ("Jacob" wasn't what I envisioned either) Reading the book has made me feel 16 again, who couldn't resist a sexy vampire wanting you?
And he wonders why he can't get any girls or dates?! Ewweee!
But it's primarily because he's English. The English men stink in general. They don't shower, bath, wash, use soap or deodrant. Gross
They smell of rotten lamb
He's high as fuck on deep-end shit. Keep your pores clogged, keep yourself in the clouds longer. Simple math (and huge assumptions..)
Watch the flick Rush with Jason Patric, Jennifer Jason Leigh and Sam Elliot to learn more :þ
Haarr!
There was some girl reading one of those stupid vampire books on the plane. I was trying to read Ballard's Crash, the complete opposite of what she was reading. Hilarious!
"The master's tools will never dismantle the master's house." Audre Lorde
I'm a HUGE Twilight fan. (I'm 30 years old, married, and a mom, too. Sad, I know. LOL) I thought some of the casting was right on, and some of it was more like "wtf"? I love RP as Edward, I loved Alice and Emmett. Charlie was ok. Peter F. acted the part of Carlisle very well, but he looked so weird. I thought Esme, Jasper and Billy Black were fine. However, Taylor Lautner, although adorable, was not even close to the Jacob I saw in my head. And I know the kid bulked up for New Moon, but no way did he grow to 6'7"! And Rosalie? Nikki Reed is gorgeous. But she was so wrong for the part. She looks so weird pale and blonde!
Anyway, I don't care if RP stinks. If I were single, I'd so hit that.
Submitted by parissucksliterally on Wed, 03/25/2009 - 12:53pm.
I agree- Alice and Edward were the only ones who looked as they did in my mind when I read the books. The others were bad choices. Jacob was pretty bad too.
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I thought Edward looked nothing like I had in mind because hes described as a red head in the book and breathtakingly beautiful. Patterson aint bad lookin but ive seen better...Orlando Bloom for example and hes not red read. I thought the indian kid was fine as Jacob....
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smack. smack. sugar smack. give me a smack and ill smack ya back!
Submitted by Clarisse on Wed, 03/25/2009 - 12:08pm.
I just watched Twilight this weekend too. Aside from Pattinson (who ain’t winning any Oscar), the casting BLEW.
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never read the books. casting seemed fine to me. (except for that reservation indian boy with perfect white teeth)
the acting was atrocious - esp robert patterson. staring only works for so long.
the part i couldn't stand was the constant huffing, snearing and snorting from the two human girls every-time they talked.
the music in the movie was really well done. same with the scenery and sets.
i'll take true blood over twilight any day.
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
Tigerlilly exposed!!!1!
http://www.dailymotion.com/user/fluffybunnykins666/video/x8l7lj_shes-a-t...
Submitted by Clarisse on Wed, 03/25/2009 - 9:26am.
Oh yeah, and all hail “Frizz Eaze”
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Yeah! I use it too, it's awesome stuff. (I has de naturally curly hair)
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I should be thrown into the loony bin for posting this shit. And we can share a padded room, because you're reading it! -MK
Reese Witherspoon: "I don't take a shower every day."
Submitted by johnnysgirl on Wed, 03/25/2009 - 1:09pm.
His clothes are probably also covered in snot from constantly wiping his nose on them because he refuses to use tissue
Are you sure it's snot?? lol
NASTY.
To me, when a guy doesn't know when to/doesn't care to clean his ass, it's a bad sign. He probably also doesn't have a clue how to do his own laundry or cook anything besides Kraft mac-n-cheese. His clothes are probably also covered in snot from constantly wiping his nose on them because he refuses to use tissue. You know the type! We can only hope he remembers to wipe his ass. He's still young tho. Hopefully someone will set him straight (mama sure didn't).
Wasn't he heard just recently saying he can't get laid? No wonder!
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I should be thrown into the loony bin for posting this shit. And we can share a padded room, because you're reading it! -MK
hatchet face.
HE IS A FIGHTER OF THE HOT, like George Clooney and his goofy movie roles.
I agree- Alice and Edward were the only ones who looked as they did in my mind when I read the books. The others were bad choices. Jacob was pretty bad too.
Catherine Hardwicke did "Thirteen" with Nikki Reed, which is why she was chosen, but it never should have happened. Shit, I'd have believed Taylor Swift as Rosalie, before Reed!
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"One thing that we pride ourselves on is [that] we're not spoiled brats."
– Kim Kardashian
Submitted by Clarisse on Wed, 03/25/2009 - 12:30pm.
Yes, and he keeps accidentally sitting on cocks.
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
What's all this about Europeans not showering every day? That is absolute nonsense. We're not any less hygienic than Americans.
Peter Facinelli had the most bizarre, faintly British child-toucher accent I've ever heard. Seriously, imagine him whispering "free candy, little boy?" in that voice and tell me you don't get the heebie jeebies.
Alice was dead on. So was the way I imagined her relationship with Jasper even though poor dude was wearing the most awful Emo Middle Earth wig on the planet. Rosalie- miscast. Esme was just kind of "meh" to me although I like Elizabeth Reaser. Kristen Stewart kept morphing into Jennifer Love Hewitt.
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He's a superhuman moron...
Alice was great, she definitely looked the part...she's an adorable little thing. I felt the same way as y'all do about Carlisle and Rosalie...she had the bitch thing down, but wasn't the drop dead beauty as the book describes her. Carlisle was too pale, just weird looking, though he was convincing imo as the level-headed elder. I really liked Victoria, too...she is very interesting-looking. I hope they develop the bad vampires more in the next movie...her story line could be very interesting (not even through the first book yet, so I'm kind of clueless on the story).
You know, I HATE Tom Cruise and Brad Pitt even more now, for ruining Interview with the Vampire. All this Twilight stuff has me longing to re-read the Anne Rice books again.
"And the lion fell in love with the lamb"
HA!
That movie was so cheesy and why did I imagine the fathers name pronounced as Car-iz-ile, all funktified, while reading the book?
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smack. smack. sugar smack. give me a smack and ill smack ya back!
Lulu!
That's the thing though...the acting was dreadful!!! Facinelli is a TV actor, and "Rosalie" was just silly.
At least if they nailed the look I might follow it closer. Like Alice. I think she was probably the closest outside Edward.
TV,
It's an accident!
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Submitted by Clarisse on Wed, 03/25/2009 - 12:08pm.
I thought Carlisle (Facinelli) was creepy looking and stiff and Rosalie looked nothing like her book description. I guess it's hard to find actors who not only fit the description but can act.
I'll agree about the casting of Rosalie and Carlisle. And Kristen Stewart? Awful. i've never seen any of her other movies, so I have to hope she was a better actress in those for them to think she could pull this role off. Most of the cast sucked though.
I don't know about RP's bathing habits, but he DOES clean himself up for press stuff. At least in my experience. That's about all I can add here.
It's not so much that he hates soap, he just keeps "accidentally" dropping it.
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
I just watched Twilight this weekend too. Aside from Pattinson (who ain’t winning any Oscar), the casting BLEW.
PSL,
I thought Facinelli as Carlisle was worse!! Fail!
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he looks like brandon walsh. for reals.
PLS- Totally agree. I think she's far more stunning as she is naturally. She got the serious bitchface right on, though.
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He's a superhuman moron...
Submitted by parissucksliterally on Wed, 03/25/2009 - 11:53am.
was that the mean sis?
I might actually read the books now :)
doesn't give off subconscious vibes of Mormonism does it?
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'fuck you guys. i'm goin' home.'
To me, Nikki Reed as Rosalie was the worst casting choice ever. She is NOT an exquisite, porcelain blonde by far.
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"One thing that we pride ourselves on is [that] we're not spoiled brats."
– Kim Kardashian
Yes, bitchette,the restaurant scene-LOL, feeling like 15 is right! And I have to feign only mild interest when watching with my daughters, because I'm sure they'd be merciless if they knew I was getting too into it!
Submitted by LuLu Fitz
"she is going to butcher the butch"
LMAO...what genius cast her for that? Much better to get an unknown, imo...
Submitted by pomegranate on Wed, 03/25/2009 - 11:42am.
ITA I just watched it this weekend as well (My man ordered it, I think he thought it was actually about vampires :) )
but the whole time i was thinking- I just don't believe her and she's only got one expression, both on the face and talking. no range from the girl.
but the scene in the restaurant, with him- Yummy!!!! felt like i was 15 again.
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'fuck you guys. i'm goin' home.'
Submitted by pomegranate on Wed, 03/25/2009 - 11:42am.
I agree :( - That scene in the hospital --
and you can put money on it - she is going to butcher the butch. I can't bear it.
Oh and yes....I can definately see the appeal of RP as Edward...he has the look too bad about his hygiene. James was my favorite....I love the bad boy.
Lulu, she was pretty bad in Twilight. I always say that the only performances that stand out to me are the really bad ones, and the really good ones. She was *really* bad...that scene in the hospital, where she's arguing with him about not leaving her, was just AWFUL...I won't be able to watche her butchery of Joan Jett.
I finally sat down and watched Twilight with my daughters on Sunday, and I can say that now I see the appeal of RP. The smell thing is yucky, of course, especially the post that spoke of the radio station saying he smelled the station up of cig smoke...if he's a smoker, *and* a non-bather, yuck! I work seasonally with a friend who has a photography business, and plenty of times, there are kids who reek of ciggie smoke...it makes me gag, and pisses me off that the parents can't at least try to not inundate their little kids with smoke. Add to that a dirty head, and it breaks my heart for the kids...
TMI - Hopefully HIS stank will kill Kristen Stewart because HER stink ruined Twilight.
this makes me sad.
but i would happily scrub him down ! :P
i do not wash my hair everyday either.
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'fuck you guys. i'm goin' home.'