Blohan Is Going Straight To Cable TV
If you're one of Blohan's "sicko fans" then you will pleased to know that you don't have to go far to see her next masterpiece. Fuck, you don't even have to get your fat ass off the sofa, because it will be beamed directly to your TV. Blohan's Labor Pains will make its debut on basic cable! One step closer to selling hand jobs at the Bunny Ranch in Nevada!
The production company told UsWeekly that it will show on ABC Family in July. A month later, it will be thrown into a 50% off discount bin at the 99 Cent Store.
Blohan's response: "YOU SICKO FANS ARE RUINING MY LIIIIFEEEEE!" Stick a meth pipe in it!
Since Blohan is about to become the Meryl Streep of the cable TV movie circuit, I think it's about time she ring up her old friend Ty Ty Banks and propose a sequel to the masterpiece shit show known as LIFE SIZE. Blohan's cracked out soul needs Ty Ty to serenade her with the uplifting anthem "Be A Star." That will make everything okay again. The clip is below and no, Ty Ty is not synching with her lips. She's got natural talent! It's also strange to see lil' Lohan before the meth bugs ate her face.
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Lindsay is very cute and talented and I hope she dosen't die. Don't know what she sees in the GF though.
Love your site MK you are one funny man. I been reading for just over a year and the satire on here is gold.
Holy fuck I have been waiting ages for MK to post this!!! I should've submitted it but THANK YOU MK!!! You all should see the movie Life Size. TyTy as a barbie is hilarious shit for real! And see Blowhan before the tits & cocaine=))
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2007~It was a truly magical time in Shitneyland.
"Sam put drugs in Britney's biscuits"
"after dark at the club shell spend the whole night dancing"....and we wonder where it all went wrong
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>( C'>
its a fucking rat!
Nobody feels sorry for her...she's still only 22.
If she wants to restart her career and do the right thing she will, but blaming everybody else is not going to help her at all.
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Pick up your socks and drop your slots, we're going to a party.
Sicko fans? Talk about those who live in glass houses.
What the hell kind of fuckery was THAT?
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"Edwina's insides were a rocky place where my seed could find no purchase. " -- H.I. McDunnough
She's bascially another Dana Plato.
I couldn't stand her ugly little ass in The Parent Trap and I can't stand her now...
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the end...
$10 says Lindsay will star in Mean Girls 2 and it will go straight to video.
Damn it MK. You are amazing. And yes I remember that God awful movie when it was on Disney back in the day...
I've said it before and I'll say it again . . . I believe Lindsay has talent!! She did a great job in "Freaky Friday" and "Parent Trap" and I think she could have done well as a grownup star if she hadn't messed up!! It's her fault and only her fault. But I really believe if she would stop being so delusional and try to seriously change her life, someone would put her in a small movie that might rev up her career again. It would take a lot of effort on her part and she is very lazy and spoiled and entitled, so I have a feeling she won't make the effort. Too bad, really!!
P.S.: Is Lindsay really only 22? I was thinking she was closer to 28-30!! Seriously. I have to go look it up.
Okay, that stupid ass song is gonna be in my head for the rest of the night. Thanks a lot, MK!
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"This is my body. Have a wafer."
Maybe Lindsay should stay home more often since she thinks everyone is in her personal life! If she wasn't out and about ALL of the time doing things, like having fights with her UGLY GF then the paps just might leave her alone. IMO, bitch causes her own drama!! Straight up!!
no....
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nice ass...when does it open?
OMG, bitch, I forgot about LIFE SIZE! That was my shit for about a week! I'm gonna Netflix it.
That video is my own personal definition of hell, especially if you're hungover like I am right now. Rum NEVER again. Hohan's new movie went straight to video...my work here is DONE!
"The master's tools will never dismantle the master's house." Audre Lorde
This tard is going straight to cable you say? My day is looking up!
She should fire whoever is handling the cold embers her (ha!) career. Any good agent would have worked out a deal with QVC to play this waste of celluloid as well as have a vehicle to sell her leggings and tanning slop simultaneously. Untold millions would turn in to watch her filthy upper lip quivering in humiliation when she realizes that even Marie Osmond's creepy dolls have more pull on this channel than she does at this point in time.
Submitted by Stock Broker on Thu, 03/26/2009 - 2:14pm.
I'm a poet and don't know it!
*smooch*
IF Blowhan still HAD fans, how would they effect whether her shitty movie heads straight to t.v.?
She's delusional.
Submitted by Stoney on Thu, 03/26/2009 - 12:25pm.
Maybe she should keep that fish taco eating hole in her fucking face closed and quit living in nightclubs and lying about her fucking life and be grateful she's still fucking breathing and SHUT THE FUCK UP!
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Stoney....your comment is like a sonnet on a misty spring morning!
YOGURTLAND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm getting a sudden fleeting moment of compassion..phew..it's gone now...
She looks sad there really. It must be difficult to have your rebellions in a very public way. I'm glad that the people who can remember the shit I used to do did worse things than I did, so it's a no comment all around..
Phew
Wow we never saw this coming....
Haahaaaahaaaa, I can use this sentence for just about anything.
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That was the grooviest clip ever! Made me just cry! And Ty Ty has that magic power to bring the world together!
I'm fucking touched..no really, I am..reallyimnotlyingthistime
And her lip syncing was wonderful. Little Lindsay could shake her ass even then. What an uplifting testimonial to..crackwhoredom.
Lindsay should make a new movie 'The little crackwhore that lived down the lane' All that was missing was a live midget to bring it all together.
*hums that song whatever it is*
All I can really think to say about Blohan these days is a quote from 'On The Waterfront'.....
'(YOU) could have had class. (YOU) could have been a contender.'
Instead you choose to be a crackwhore. Aint no tears fallin from my eyes for this pathetic piece of trash.
Straight to DVD (EDIT: whoops, CABLE), just like porn...on CINEMAX! xD
Oh Blohan, you could've had it so much better. Fuckup!
-.-
The internet, where the men are real men,
the women are real men, and the children are the FBI.
a friend of mine recommended me a HOT place ___classymingle.com____ She has been intimate with someone who she gets to know on this site , some celebrities have a profile on that site. you can talk with them online. loooool
O yeah - I was also thinking about how Ty Ty should never, never sing.
♥ ThreadKilla!
With my super lawyer powers, I can rid our town of cats so our kids can NEVER get high again! Mr. Broflovski, South Park
A DListed Youtube Gallery
OMG I was totally thinking about this just yesterday! I was thinking how cute lil LiLo looked and how I could totally see why they would have booked her back then. Who knew she'd fizzle out so young...?
♥ ThreadKilla!
With my super lawyer powers, I can rid our town of cats so our kids can NEVER get high again! Mr. Broflovski, South Park
A DListed Youtube Gallery
Damn, I wish I could see this video from work! Tyra singing, LOL!
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"This is my body. Have a wafer."
Lala, I used to feel sorry for her, when she was younger. Now she is 22 yrs old, and needs to take responsibility for her actions. NO ONE is forcing her to do drugs. She has no one to blame but herself for being such a fuckup at this point.
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I will remember you, will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by, weep not for the memories
-Sarah Mclachlan
Submitted by Migraine Sally on Thu, 03/26/2009 - 1:06pm.
;-)
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"So? I'm intellectual and stuff."
"You're flunking English. That's your mother tongue, and stuff."
Submitted by dramaqueen365247 on Thu, 03/26/2009 - 1:01pm.
Well, I feel sorry for her because those weren't her pants & the black guy did it. Jellis h8rz!
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Heh Heh
what was this movie about again? Linds preggers?
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
WATCH THIS:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iB_fUEe5Eh0
Oh my Gawd....I saw that movie.
*Crosses forearms in front of wincing face in protection*
It really sucked though!!! I'm still ashamed.
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Well, I feel sorry for her because those weren't her pants & the black guy did it. Jellis h8rz!
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"So? I'm intellectual and stuff."
"You're flunking English. That's your mother tongue, and stuff."
She can blame that mother of hers - the one that thought the picture of them in a hotel room with a dirty bed and 14 or 15 year old "Linds" sitting in a bra with an ashtray in front of her and a bottle of Jack Daniels on the nightstand was a brilliant career move.
What the fuck was THAT?
I can't believe Tyra Banks went on to have any kind of career after that.
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I'm a pea person. I would want to eat my peas with other peas.
hahaha, I watched this mess on the Disney Channel when I was like 14..that was when the Disney Channel was cool before the Jonas Brothers and Miley Cyrus came along and douched and slutted it up for the adolescent masses....and I'm a fan of really bad B movies, so I will actually sitting down with a bowl of pocorn to watch this mess when it premeirs in July..I would have much rather have seen on Lifetime instead though.
***"At your age, you're going to have a lot of urges. You're going to want to take off your clothes, and touch each other. But if you do touch each other, you will get chlamydia... and die." ***
She's no doubt beautiful; but I gotta say, hot and sensual models on ______Tallmingle.com_____ are more attractive to me! Man, tell ya what? If you dig hot Milfs, that's the place!! LOL
I feel sorry for her...
I feel sorry for ANY human being who is going through shit...I don't care if they're responsible for that shit or not...
And since she has been dealing with shit since she was a child...and since she was pimped out AS A CHILD by two of the creepiest and most pimpest showbiz parents that I have seen in my life...I TRULY FEEL SORRY FOR HER!!!
If she EVER woke up looked in the mirror and said to it..."THIS BITCH CAN ACT"...maybe she would start focusing on her career and leave those demons be...the ones on the inside AND the outside...
is that fucking Janet Reno at the 40 second mark of that mess??
I agree with the poster that said he/she wanted to slap that look off her face. Who the hell does she think she is?
She is used up, end of story.
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♥*♥*♥*♥*♥* Grossness... *♥*♥*♥*♥*♥
My ears!!! They are bleeding!! Tyra needs to stop singing & STFU!!
I dont really feel sorry for Lindsay either, she did this all to herself...I am sure she will be dumping Samro soon in an attempt to draw more attention to herself.
I only feel sorry for Lindsay for being born into the Lohan family, that has to truly suck...A self obsessed mother & a crazy criminal dad, Lindsay is lucky she got as far as she did.
Lindsay DOES have star quality, when she's not drunk or high. She's always been very likable up until she started hanging out with Wonky a few months after Mean Girls. Plus, she's one of the FEW younger stars that go on SNL and can actually make me laugh. Christina Aguilera and Justin Timberlake are the others. There has to be some talent there to be able to entertain on live TV. She's fucked her whole life up and there's no one to blame except herself. It's disappointing cuz I think she's smarter than this.
I've always admitted that I'm ruled by my passions.
- Elizabeth Taylor
She would make be perfect for Rock of Love Bus or any VH1 reality show.I think being a drunk skank is the only prerequisite.
xoxoxoxox
Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
Submitted by KD on Thu, 03/26/2009 - 12:31pm.
I really want to just punch that look right off her face.
Please wear latex gloves KD-you don't wanna catch anything...
I really want to just punch that look right off her face.
Submitted by missy on Thu, 03/26/2009 - 11:55am.
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I don't know, she's always seemed to have that certain something. "It" if you will? Not whilst cranked though.
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Well I like Colin. I'd let him jizz on my tattas anyday. - UKer.