Thursday, March 26th 2009

Open Post: Hosted By A Dehydrated Radish

Question? When an Ooma Loompa ripens into a pepaw does his orange face turn red? Because that's what Nick Nolte is giving me here. He's also giving me the hots in the face. Oh how I want to take him by the hand and lead him to a giant bowl of ice and slowly stick his face in it. This is a face only a fire extinguisher could love.

Maybe there's a good explanation for this. Maybe he's trying to make extra money by being a guinea pig for Blohan's new line of spray tan? He's almost the exact shade of a Lohan.

Posted by: Michael K


kiwikim's picture

Submitted by EastEndGirl on Thu, 03/26/2009 - 4:09pm.
Just tried to vaccum and the fucking thing is busted. Third one in four fucking years. Can't afford a new one. Do they not make things that last anymore.

FUCK.
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No. I've had the same issues. I'm pretty sure it's well known they make shit that breaks now. That way we have to keep spending and buying more of their crap. If they make it to last, we wouldn't be their customers again for a long time.
You're better off putting in hardwood floors and using a broom.
Does anyone get stressed about doing everything these days? I just feel like you can't do jack shit from buying a vacum to buying a house without being a fucking lawyer. Transactions costs are way to high. Nothing is the way it's supposed to be anymore. Just sick of the news I guess. Want to hide.

kiwikim's picture

Submitted by johnnysgirl on Thu, 03/26/2009 - 10:04pm.
Submitted by TITS on Thu, 03/26/2009 - 9:55pm.

Submitted by johnnysgirl on Thu, 03/26/2009 - 9:50pm.

hahahah you americans are so delightfully corrupt! you not only buy liquor at the grocery store, but a STORE BRAND SHIRAZ? wowsers. I'm impressed and repulsed at the same time.
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NO! It's not "Safeway" Shiraz...it's Searidge,
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Isn't shiraz one of those things that can only be labeled that if it comes from OZ???? Like Bordeaux??? Or pullman brown only being used by UPS???? Otherwise it's labeled syrah??? No, Yes?

kiwikim's picture

Submitted by TITS on Thu, 03/26/2009 - 10:09pm.

on the rare occasions that i drink, i only drink organic wines now. no hangovers. worth it.

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I KNOW! WTF? I can't believe how good the organic wine is. It's really the sulfites in the non-organics that must be giving you the stomach ickies and hangovers the next day. Also they put a ton of caffiene in non-organic wine which kills that mellow glow. Organic wine is completely worth it. Try it.

TITS's picture

Submitted by johnnysgirl on Thu, 03/26/2009 - 10:28pm.

'Australian' and 'shame' should never be used in the same sentence. It's like a double negative. Those fuckers invented boxed wine too!
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Easy on the Aussies! The Aussies are gold in my book.
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hey some of my best friends are aussies. i was just yanking their chain in case any were lurking.

love their wines. Yalumba!!!

ps toronto is not canada. it only seems like it to people from toronto. (me included hahaha)

.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
Tigerlilly exposed!!!1!
http://www.dailymotion.com/user/fluffybunnykins666/video/x8l7lj_shes-a-t...

johnnysgirl's picture

WOW! Tonight is card night for John and his friends and one of our friends just gave me a taste of one of his home brews, a brown ale made with cardamom and orange. Oh man, so good. I've tasted home brew before but this is like exquisite craftsmanship!

I love geeks!!

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I should be thrown into the loony bin for posting this shit. And we can share a padded room, because you're reading it! -MK

johnnysgirl's picture

Submitted by TITS on Thu, 03/26/2009 - 10:11pm.

Johnny, I'm in Canada. It's that big pink thing on the map north of you. (wink)
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Oh Pshaw! I'm no "ugly American"! (your wink does soften the blow) I've only been to Toronto.

'Australian' and 'shame' should never be used in the same sentence. It's like a double negative. Those fuckers invented boxed wine too!
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Easy on the Aussies! The Aussies are gold in my book. They don't give a fuck! My kind of people. Being with the John Monster has been quite educational re: Aus. What a history. Despite being historically treated as expendable garbage by Britain they remain some of the mellowest, nicest people I have ever met.

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I should be thrown into the loony bin for posting this shit. And we can share a padded room, because you're reading it! -MK

TITS's picture

Johnny, I'm in Canada. It's that big pink thing on the map north of you. (wink)

'Australian' and 'shame' should never be used in the same sentence. It's like a double negative. Those fuckers invented boxed wine too!

.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
Tigerlilly exposed!!!1!
http://www.dailymotion.com/user/fluffybunnykins666/video/x8l7lj_shes-a-t...

joanne's picture

Still a Nolte fan but wondering why he is dressed like a chef.

TITS's picture

here the liquor stores are owned and run by the government and staffed with well paid unionized employees.

very clean, very well run.

cheapest wine I've EVER seen (whilst not looking for it) is 6$ canadian (5$ usd).

don't you get headaches and hangovers from the cheap shit?

on the rare occasions that i drink, i only drink organic wines now. no hangovers. worth it.

.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
Tigerlilly exposed!!!1!
http://www.dailymotion.com/user/fluffybunnykins666/video/x8l7lj_shes-a-t...

johnnysgirl's picture

Submitted by TITS on Thu, 03/26/2009 - 9:55pm.
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TITS, where are you? Johnny (an Aussie) tells me that Australians drink boxed wine regularly and without shame, while Americans think boxed wine is trashy.

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I should be thrown into the loony bin for posting this shit. And we can share a padded room, because you're reading it! -MK

johnnysgirl's picture

Submitted by TITS on Thu, 03/26/2009 - 9:55pm.

Submitted by johnnysgirl on Thu, 03/26/2009 - 9:50pm.

hahahah you americans are so delightfully corrupt! you not only buy liquor at the grocery store, but a STORE BRAND SHIRAZ? wowsers. I'm impressed and repulsed at the same time.
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NO! It's not "Safeway" Shiraz...it's Searidge, but I think it's exclusively sold by Safeway (I could be wrong). Kind of like how Charles Shaw is now exclusively peddled by Trader Joe's.

I love red wine. I enjoy quality red wine, but let's face it - the amount I drink, I gotta buy cheap and frankly, if it's red, I'll drink it. I used to stock up on the "2-buck Chuck" at Trader Joe's, but then my local Safeway (which is directly behind my house) re-opened so now that's what I drank. It's not bad at all, for real. Have some!

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I should be thrown into the loony bin for posting this shit. And we can share a padded room, because you're reading it! -MK

TITS's picture

Submitted by johnnysgirl on Thu, 03/26/2009 - 9:50pm.

hahahah you americans are so delightfully corrupt! you not only buy liquor at the grocery store, but a STORE BRAND SHIRAZ? wowsers. I'm impressed and repulsed at the same time.

ever drink shiraz while eating those two bite brownies? toe-wiggling good. plus when you come down off the sugar high you'll fall right asleep and miss the weepies.

.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
Tigerlilly exposed!!!1!
http://www.dailymotion.com/user/fluffybunnykins666/video/x8l7lj_shes-a-t...

TITS's picture

Has anyone seen socky? We have some ... um ... 'thing' for her.

.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
Tigerlilly exposed!!!1!
http://www.dailymotion.com/user/fluffybunnykins666/video/x8l7lj_shes-a-t...

johnnysgirl's picture

I gots more cheap ass Safeway Shiraz - anybody wanty? Ya gotta help me drank it - I don't want to have hangover cry-face again tomorrow.

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I should be thrown into the loony bin for posting this shit. And we can share a padded room, because you're reading it! -MK

Tigerlilly's picture

Submitted by Stock Broker on Thu, 03/26/2009 - 7:22pm.
Submitted by shut the smurf up on Thu, 03/26/2009 - 4:21pm.
Question
I just move to my own apartment after living with roomates since 2001, I HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO SPEND SOME TIME BY MYSELF THERE, SINCE EVERYBODY THINKS IS PRETTY COOL I HAVE MY OWN PLACE AND THEY WANT TO CHILL THERE..
HOW DO I POLITELY TELL EVERYBODY TO FUCK OFF?
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Hey Smurf.....put a sign on the outside of your door that says, "I have the chicken pox & I'm contagious."
************************************************** Fuck that. My mama always told me, "ain't no law says you gotta open your door to no one without a warrant". If those fuckers drop in uninvited and you don't want to see they asses, DON'T ANSWER THE DOOR. It's that simple. They complain, tell them to call before they come. That's some common ass courtesy shit right there...Word. And I quoted that shit from Emily Post...well, not word for word, but....

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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...

vikelo's picture

How old is he? I heard that he signed up on a dating site------ Seek Rich .com------. there he is dating a pretty young actor, and it is said he bought a nice car for her.

James Haven's picture

Get this man some Mary Kay moisturizing lotion STAT!

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See James Haven in an Oscar winning performance!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w9cKFiCrSU
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Clarisse's picture

Dina Lohan...

Doing coke with your kids...bad.

Whoring your children...bad.

Using your kids to get attention...bad.

Saying your daughter can act...bad.

Using the word "hater" at 50 years old...Realllly bad.

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Stock Broker's picture

Submitted by shut the smurf up on Thu, 03/26/2009 - 4:21pm.
Question
I just move to my own apartment after living with roomates since 2001, I HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO SPEND SOME TIME BY MYSELF THERE, SINCE EVERYBODY THINKS IS PRETTY COOL I HAVE MY OWN PLACE AND THEY WANT TO CHILL THERE..
HOW DO I POLITELY TELL EVERYBODY TO FUCK OFF?
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Hey Smurf.....put a sign on the outside of your door that says, "I have the chicken pox & I'm contagious."

Trust me, no one will come around for at least 2 weeks. And, don't answer your phone. Leave pre-recorded message that says "I have the chicken pox and will be unavailable for XXXX days. Leave a message."

Dallas's picture

Go MK.............call this whack job out. She is so pathetic. Me this, me, me, my daughter, me! God, no wonder Linds is so screwed up.

See You Next Tuesday's picture

Ahahaha.... don't know if anyone has seen it yet, but supposedly Dina Lohan called out MK on her twitter.... http://twitter.com/dinalohan Scroll down... I was amused...

"Small and broken..... but still good..... mostly...."

Zappy's picture

*chews dinner quietly and reads*

CHOMP CHOMP CHOMP

Momus the Sarcastic's picture

I took the Facebook "What Kind of Dragon Are You?" quiz. I am a Fire Dragon. I have been redeemed from the Actress quiz that erroneously typed me a Nicole Kidman.

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"Oderint dum metuant." Gaius Julius Caesar Augustus Germanicus (aka Caligula)
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Creepella's picture

Lobster Boy

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Bye! Good

johnnysgirl's picture

Submitted by thing1 on Thu, 03/26/2009 - 5:17pm.

Seriously. WTF is he wearing???
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I know - I was just thinking to myself "I'm so up my own ass with my personal problem cry times that I didn't even notice the outfit."

My question is: if your face is THAT red, why would you wear white? WHY? Shit.

_________________________________________________
I should be thrown into the loony bin for posting this shit. And we can share a padded room, because you're reading it! -MK

Dallas's picture

Well I be damn...........I am Catherine Zeta Jones and I don't look a thing like her! Blonde hair and blue eyes.

Wait a minute. This is the guy who was laying on the floor at the airport not long ago. I think it was in Hawaii. Well, that explains a lot.

No. This definitely is also a What the Fuck Kind of God Damn Outfit is That.

Farrah's picture

seriously, Benji Madden times were like Cheeto Report or Comingback. You never knew when he was gonna show up. *sigh*
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www.poe200th.com
Happy Birthday, in your kingdom by the sea..

I looked again and I think the face maybe does overpower the "outfit". If that's what you call it.

Clarisse's picture

Farrah!!!
Oh no you di’ent!!!!! Benji Madden!!!

It's Benji Madden time, Benji Madden time, Benji Madden jelly time

Where he at!
Where he at!
Where he at!
Where he at!
There he go!
There he go!
There he go!
There he go!
Benji Madden!!!
Benji Madden!!!
Do the Benji Madden, Benji Madden!!!,
Benji Madden with a baseball bat!!!

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Seriously. WTF is he wearing??? It's colonel sanders without the tie thing. Or he was going fencing? Or some kind of strait jacket that he broke out of? What is it???? Or I missed something? The red face does not overpower that "What the hell kind of God Damn Outfit Is This"!!!! Does it? ... Does it? And you could have written it so much better than I.

Farrah's picture

Submitted by Clarisse on Thu, 03/26/2009 - 5:10pm.

just after he worked so hard to become Mary Kay's #1 seller, you had to go and ruin his reputation.
btw, where the hell is James Haven? I miss him more than i miss Benji Madden.. actually, scratch that.
*sigh* Benji Madden times..
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www.poe200th.com
Happy Birthday, in your kingdom by the sea..

Clarisse's picture

*sticks hands in pocket/whistles innocently*

Oh...uh...scratch that Haven stuff...

*backs out quickly*

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Farrah's picture

Submitted by johnnysgirl on Thu, 03/26/2009 - 5:04pm.

you've never met OUR James Haven? He works for Mary Kay and drives a pink Hummer.

@Clarisse: i'm telling James Haven you said he slept with the Holie! travesty!
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www.poe200th.com
Happy Birthday, in your kingdom by the sea..

Ok. DAYUM and all to his face. You got that. But what the hell is that shit that he's wearing saying????

Momus the Sarcastic's picture

Submitted by The Audrey on Thu, 03/26/2009 - 5:03pm.
I took the actress quiz. Apparently I should be shooting up Botox this very minute, because I'm Ice Queen aka Nicole Kidman.

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Me, too.

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"Oderint dum metuant." Gaius Julius Caesar Augustus Germanicus (aka Caligula)
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Clarisse's picture

The Audrey!
OH! In law stories!!! aaaaaaaand GO!

johnnysgirl,
Given the amount of dysfuction in Holie head, if James Haven didn't slide the pickle in a few times, then she's at a minimum given him a few hand jobs.

*edit/can't spell!

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johnnysgirl's picture

Submitted by Clarisse on Thu, 03/26/2009 - 5:02pm.

I've never slept with my brother, never bought a kid, never cut myself, never shot up/snorted drugs, never fucked a married man...
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Dude, did she really sleep with her brother? I thought she just smooched him on the mouth in public or something.

_________________________________________________
I should be thrown into the loony bin for posting this shit. And we can share a padded room, because you're reading it! -MK

The Audrey's picture

I took the actress quiz. Apparently I should be shooting up Botox this very minute, because I'm Ice Queen aka Nicole Kidman.

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♥*♥*♥*♥*♥* Grossness... *♥*♥*♥*♥*♥

M.E.'s picture

Clarisse - me either!

The Audrey's picture

Well, anyone want to hear some shit about a particular in-law of mine? He's driving me up the wall...

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♥*♥*♥*♥*♥* Grossness... *♥*♥*♥*♥*♥

Clarisse's picture

M.E.,
*stomps feet*

I'm nothing like Holie!

I've never slept with my brother, never bought a kid, never cut myself, never shot up/snorted drugs, never fucked a married man...

*goes back to take the test again*

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M.E.'s picture

Clarisse - I took it 3x and got Holie each time.

M.E.'s picture

Greek Godess - I R Aphrodite! YES!

Guess this sums me up to be a HAWT, oversexed, bitchy whore.

LOVE IT!

Clarisse's picture

Dammit. Recount.

I got Holie too.

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Momus the Sarcastic's picture

I took the stupid damned FB actress quiz. I want to state that I believe that the quiz, though fun, is totally and completely inaccurate.

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"Oderint dum metuant." Gaius Julius Caesar Augustus Germanicus (aka Caligula)
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Farrah's picture

Submitted by shut the smurf up on Thu, 03/26/2009 - 4:21pm.

HOW DO I POLITELY TELL EVERYBODY TO FUCK OFF?
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ok, i am unable to give you any advice with that, because i usually just tell people to just FUCK OFF. Polite and me don't go that good together, but my friends get it when i tell them to fuck off.

@M.E: i'm SHOCKED. You AND Stoney? dammit, now i'm gonna have to take the damn thing. If you don't ever see me again, was because i got St. Angie too.
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www.poe200th.com
Happy Birthday, in your kingdom by the sea..

johnnysgirl's picture

Submitted by Momus the Sarcastic on Thu, 03/26/2009 - 4:33pm.

Me, I'm a total privacy bitch who tells people that they can't come over because I have other plans and then never tell them what those plans are even when asked directly.
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I do this too. I don't have any problem saying no. I really really value my me time and I will guard it with bared fangs. I never overbook myself cuz I always like to have in-between "cushions" of decompress time.

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I should be thrown into the loony bin for posting this shit. And we can share a padded room, because you're reading it! -MK

Momus the Sarcastic's picture

Submitted by shut the smurf up on Thu, 03/26/2009 - 4:28pm.

I have no doubt that you love your friends ... but on your terms. They don't seem to understand that you moved to a place without roommates because you don't to share your home 24/7 anymore.

Me, I'm a total privacy bitch who tells people that they can't come over because I have other plans and then never tell them what those plans are even when asked directly.

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"Oderint dum metuant." Gaius Julius Caesar Augustus Germanicus (aka Caligula)
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