Robert Pattinson Knows How To Use A Sponge
Robert Pattinson wants everyone to know that his dick isn't covered in butter, his asshole isn't caked over in jelly and that his magical forest mop doesn't need to be featured on How Clean Is Your House? anytime soon, because he takes a bar of soap to his ass regularly.
Last week, there was a little story going around that whores on the set of New Moon were dry heaving, because Robert smells like a dried-up menstrual berry baking in the August sun. Robert says that shit is all made of lies, because he hasn't even been on the set yet.
The vampire with sparkly fangs went on to say, "I just want to know whoever's saying negative stuff, and I just want to remember their names. I write it all down in my black book."
Black book? Well, Robert, I've been saying some dirty naughty things about you, so add me to that book. I've been fucking bad, so write my name down with a THICK Sharpie. Also add that I like my hair yanked, my nalgas pinched and donut french toast with chocolate syrup in the morning.
VIA Showbiz Spy
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Submitted by Averunks on Mon, 03/30/2009 - 9:15pm.
Fuck, i don't even care if he smells like shit. That man is soooo fine.
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Do you mind?! I was sitting here in the dark thinking I had him all to myself as I diddled myself!
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Just because no one understands you, doesn't mean you're an artist.
Fuck, i don't even care if he smells like shit. That man is soooo fine.
Complication: Thanks! I thought Hugh Laurie was hot loooooooong before "House" ever came to be. :) Even if he played a completely daffy twat when costumed thusly.
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Really don't mind if you sit this one out
My words but a whisper, your deafness a shout
--Jethro Tull
I haven't believed any of those rumors for one second.
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Twilight Series
I think he is pretty & sexy. I would be very happy spending time with him, if he was a stinky boy then we would just have to take a hot bath together.
JoMama, your prayers were answered a while back..Well, at least your Aggie prayers..Afraid you'll need to keep praying for your Pattinson dreams.
http://www.dlisted.com/node/25775
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Just because no one understands you, doesn't mean you're an artist.
I don't care if he showers or not, I'd still hit that sexay vampire forwards & backwards!
Also, "How Clean is Your House" ROCKS!! Kim & Aggie for Hot Sluts of the Day!!
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Why in bronzer on the nutsack hell is she naked, but he's fully clothed? Take all them panties off, Zac!
He is hot...one of the beautiful people.
xoxoxoxox
Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
well lookgs like a scene from a vampire movie ( but i would hit the 2 guys at the back xxxxx
aaawww, must be a bitch being a product... let's see him try being an actor
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"We play the game,
with the bravery of being out of range."
Oh Rob, I would run thru yr magical forest any ole time!
(the trannies in the hinter ground are frightening)
Which one does not belong?
A) Robert
B) The girl on the right
C) Robert and the girl on the right
D) All of the above
Please use a #2 pencil
Robert is like a fucking holograph of a morphthing. In one shot he looks super-hot and in others he looks like a stoner fratboy who hasn't showered in weeks. I think those things behind him in that picture are supposed to be vampires.
I don't get the big deal about him. He's weird looking as all get out!
he's so fucking ugly!
Hollywood prettyboy. His lack of hygiene is a druggie thing, and affable druggies like him are a dime a dozen.
HA! ceiling eyes, thank gawd someone else sees it too.
ew
xoxox
The war isn't working.
He *does* have ceiling eyes (and the fact that I know what that means means that I read Dlisted too frequently!)!
My 18 year old son had to endure Twilight last night on a bus trip home from a Band concert...he said, that movie sucked, that chick who played Bella talked like a guy and couldn't act for sh*t! He wondered why every girl he knows loves the movie, and he's mildly disgusted with me for now liking it!
Speaking of the undead, Robert Palmer is rolling over at this ripped-off image.
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Both parties had a strong odor of an alcoholic beverage emitting from their persons.
I think he's cute.
The dude on the far right looks like Matt Taibbi.
You're not James Dean, douche.
You never, ever will be.
Stop it. Just stop it.
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"I guess time seems to stretch out when you don't really give a fuck." -- MK, 07/07/08
I found a great site _______Wealthybeauty.COM_______ . where you have the opportunity dreaming about dating a millionaire and make it true! I thought everyone needed to meet some miracle after all the terrible stuff in the news and the economy
Submitted by squeezy on Sun, 03/29/2009 - 6:10pm.
How come no one ever gives this bitch any shit for his ceiling eyes? He always looks vaguely short-bus to me.
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Yeah I agree. There's a fine line between *smouldering* and *vacant*; I'd go with the latter for him. He also looks like he thinks that the sun shines out his arse.
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Il faut à mon avis écrire pour plaire à un seul lecteur : soi-même.
How come no one ever gives this bitch any shit for his ceiling eyes? He always looks vaguely short-bus to me.
I think this is from the Rome Twilight premiere. Actors were hired to be vampires. I don't get it either.
He needs a woman in his life to tell him to bathe and wash his clothes every once in a while. Will I be that woman? You're damn skippy!
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"We don't hide our crazy people in the South. We put them on display," Julia Sugarbaker
Am I the only one who doesn't find this guy attractive in the least? He looks like the type to have issues with hygiene to me.
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Did you say dick cream?
"Who died and made you fucking King of the Zombies?"
"Shaun of the Dead" is sitting on top of my DVD player right now! My niece is staying with us, so I picked it up from the library. That and "Shawshank" are what I've determined to be required viewing for her.
the blanched zombie dudes are WAY hotter. Word to yer gay mama.
those are some scary looking trannies standing behind the magic...
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nice ass...when does it open?
I found a great place
++**..++**..++**.. AffluentMeet.com ++**..++**..++**..
It 's where you have the opportunity dreaming about dating a millionaire and make it true! I thought everyone needed to meet some miracle after all the terrible stuff in the news and the economy :)
Yeah, who ARE those scary people in the background?!
Submitted by Jill-The-Ripper on Sun, 03/29/2009 - 2:34pm.
Actually, my tag is from Sean of the Dead, which I just re-watched this weekend, love that shit!
"Keep her hair on, Grand-dad"
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Fucka Doodle Doo!
Submitted by riverchic on Sun, 03/29/2009 - 3:06pm. OH I know it wasn't directed at me :)
I just needed to admit out loud how big of a crush I have on him. I think the last time I fantasized this much about a celebrity I was 14! SAD..hahah
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And then I said....I need a cold shower and a cigarette.
G'night ElB!
Oh Robert. He could smell like rotten eggs, and I would still hit that like the fist of an angry God.
Thanks Jill *sniff* i appreciate it !
See ya next week, Provolone, see ya on the CT, CTH *slurp*
GOODNIGHT!!!!
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Love for lil ellie is eternal xxxxxxxxxxx
,___,
(6v6)
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" " \\
ElB I wouldn't care if you had an "innie" you are OK in my book.
Submitted by Jill-The-Ripper on Sun, 03/29/2009 - 3:01pm.
Both, ElB, a signwriter's convention and seeing old friends.
11" isn't neccesary. 9" will be fine thank you.
Turn that 9 upside down, subtract 3 = truth . :o)
Signwriting ? Supoib !
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Love for lil ellie is eternal xxxxxxxxxxx
,___,
(6v6)
(_^(_\
" " \\
Jill: The 11 inches was in Euros. You have to convert to litres.
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Both parties had a strong odor of an alcoholic beverage emitting from their persons.
MissJaneTexas: Oh no! Sorry - I wasn't talking bout you! I was thinking of my neice when I wrote that - she is WWWAAAYYY obsessed with that movie & worships all the actors in it... Lol! Sorry!
Submitted by riverchic on Sun, 03/29/2009 - 2:56pm.
I respect your opinon completely. I will add though that I am not anywhere close to a teenybopper and I would do dirty, DIRTY things to this boy. Although...that makes me sound even more fucking sad, huh?
Your avatar is freaking hilarious....
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And then I said....I need a cold shower and a cigarette.
Both, ElB, a signwriter's convention and seeing old friends.
11" isn't neccesary. 9" will be fine thank you.
The problem is he LOOKS like he reeks. *gag*
Submitted by Jill-The-Ripper on Sun, 03/29/2009 - 2:50pm.
London ? Biz or Pleasure ? Weather will be nice then ! Gulp, did i say 11"....erm.... :)
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Love for lil ellie is eternal xxxxxxxxxxx
,___,
(6v6)
(_^(_\
" " \\
This guy is so gross. Any guy that the teeny-boppers swoon over is NOT attractive to me.
Me too, ElB, me too.
I loved Scarlett.
Hey I'll be in London next month...wanna hook up?
I can do chin-ups from your 11" member!
:)
I believe it, but Robert is kinda of a liar, he's been on set for few weeks now. Unless this interview is old. Most likely is. He said it himself on tv that he doesn't shower that often or at least he didn't wash his hair.
Robert isn't cute and he isnt' ugly. There are some shots of him that he's really cute. He's cute in Twilight.
I'm more interested in the donut french toast with chocolate syrup.
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Il faut à mon avis écrire pour plaire à un seul lecteur : soi-même.