A Countess Without A Count
Bethenny on The Real Housewives of NYC doesn't have to worry about fucking up by not introducing LuAnn de Lameass as The Countess, because the dumb bitch might be losing her Count! It makes sense since he is really fucking OLD (read that with crazy Ramona eyes).
Page Six says that Countess LuMann's husband is over in Geneva bumping it with a Nubian Princess from Ethiopia and it's true true love. Some source (*cough*Ramona*cough*) said Luann got an e-mail from him saying that he didn't want to be with her snobby ass anymore, because he found himself a new piece. Um, obviously, The Count didn't get an advanced copy of Luann's book on manners, because if he did, he would've read that it's not proper etiquette to dump your haggard fourth wife through an e-mail. It's not proper, but it's really fucking funny.
What's the correct fork to use to stick it in her, because this ho is done!
The Count and Countess have been married for 16 years and they have two kids together. He's been living in Europe for some time now, but The Countess never thought he would drop the Big D on her. LuAnn's spokesbitch (aka Rosie) issued this statement: "It is obviously a very difficult time for the countess and count, but they plan to remain friends and their primary focus will be to do what is best for their two children."
Friends also say that LuAnn is not giving up the title. Oh fuck, she's really not. She's going to keep her greasy paws on that title and never let go. She's going to get up in court and pull a Tina Turner by saying, "I only want my NAME!" And then she'll go on to say, "And a few million dollars, so I can continue drinking beer out of glasses."
Oh, LuMann will always be The CUNTess to me.
And this is why I love Wikipedia. Some bitch has already altered her page. LuAnn should use this shit as her bio in her book Class with the Discountess:
LuAnn de Lesseps, a former Wilhelmina Model, is a trained nurse, and a member of the Algonquin tribe of Connecticut. She is the fourth wife of Count Alexandre de Lesseps, a descendant of Ferdinand de Lesseps of the Suez Canal family. He is cheating on her and they will be divorced within the year.
HAHAHAHAHA!
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I bet the first thing she asked the count when he told her he was dumping her dumb ass was "can I still keep my title" I bet thats all she cares about. What a dumb bitch I cant believe she didnt think that the count was cheating on her when he lived in another country , she must be naive. But I also read she was also suspected of cheating on her husband. Here's the link
http://www.realfauxhousewives.com/?p=2456
I have that same dress. BCBG, wore it to my sis's wedding. I looked way hotter. I'm on my 20's. How discountess of me.
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"Hahaha....you are eating my caca and paying for it. Meeeeow." No gracias. MK
AHHHHH hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
The DIScountess, I love it!
The dumb bitch's explanation was wrong anyway. She said "Alex is a Count so when I married him, I became a Countess." Not so, Missy. When you married him (And his 4th wife at that!) you got the title of Countess, you never BECAME one!
Want to take side bets on whether or not she returns next year? I'll bet she can't handle the derision and snide remarks from "society".
You roll those crazy eyes, Ramona!
OMG the last sentence...LMAO
蜘龍====================龍蜘
(\__/)
(='.'=)
(")_(")
She is a little too full of herself.
The writing was on the wall SWEETHEART - when did you EVER see the two of them together - as a loving couple??? NEVER it was all an act.
She is so full of herself - I can't say it enough.
Oh how the mighty fall when they put themselves above everyone else on the highest pedestal.
ITS CALLED KARMA HONEY - YOU GET WHAT YOU GIVE
As far as I am concerned it couldn't have happened to a "nicer" person - although I do feel sorry for their children
TIME TO JOIN THE REAL WORLD "COUNTESS"!!!!
Chapter 10 "How to beat a bitch down who stole your sugar daddy". Is there a proper way to do it?I guess she can use those "lean in and act dumb" techniques now
Who didn't see this coming. He was never around.
I also think Luann secretly loves the ladies, but they'd probably have to look more like Portia than Ellen.
i also love how her book "class with the countess" hasnt even been released yet.
great timing!!
HA! luann is such a dumb bitch.
bethenny and jill will thus continue to rule as the nyc badass housewives.
And this truly makes for a "Good" Morning.
:) Karma is a Mofo Cuntess.
Dumb fake bitch. Karma baby!
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... Well I'd like to stay and chat, but you're a total bitch! - Stewie.
Hint: If a man has 3 failed prior marriages - don't kid yourself that you will be any different. He'll leave your sorry ass too. She was “married” to him for 16 years because she knew it would be more lucrative. Her kids looked stiff and disconnected around the Count & her - that's what happen when you farm out their care to the hired help.
Sad. This woman is a viper and deserves all she's getting. What goes around, comes around Honey.
Do you think guys like this, who look like this (funny I accidentally typed "shit"), KNOW that women are only fucking them for their money?
Or do you think that most of them delude themselves into thinking they are physically attractive, or possibly have a good personality?
I f*cking love Wikipedia..no lie, the other day I was doing research on there and came across a wiki that read "..she is also known for giving really good blow jobs." Hahaha
***"At your age, you're going to have a lot of urges. You're going to want to take off your clothes, and touch each other. But if you do touch each other, you will get chlamydia... and die." ***
Submitted by SpiceDong on Tue, 03/31/2009 - 11:20am
That title never really counted anyway. America doesn't recognize titles. Something to do with the founding of the country or something, they made it a rule to kee royalty in check.
its bruce bitch...
I don't know how many of you guys noticed at the House for Hope benefit for Cancer... the only one working was the one who HAD cancer.. the rest of these bitches couldn't even shred lettuce!!!! Meanwhile this poor woman who is practically pulling an Iv stand is cooking dinner!!!
its bruce bitch...
Seeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee?????????????// mk I told you to watch this show.. tonight's episode where Kelly Kelly Kelly tells Bethany that she's up here- and bethany's down here_ will be a classic episode of if nothing else.. classic eye rolling!!!
what she should really get rid of are those horrible black lace gloves. so tacky
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Aahahaha! This is sweet, sweet retribution. How much you want to bet she drops out of the show?
I actually heard she was his 5th wife but whatever. If the other wives didn't get the title then she's not. I don't think you can have a title without the Count. Besides everyone knew he was banging someone else. The man spends all of his time in Switzerland, what does she think he's doing?
Dude, she is the biggest CUNT on "Housewives." I really, really dislike her to the max. "I don't feel guilty for being privileged." Please, bitch.
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Put the GO in GOKEY!
P.S.: Fuck you, Sarah Palin:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=yFdijgMytUA
Need some "Chocolate Thunder?" Click here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MK0d2P9Hbv4
That's a looooong time for a 4th wife to last.
Now she won't be so smug giving Bethenny dating advice.
Submitted by Hekki on Tue, 03/31/2009 - 12:13pm.
Submitted by devilgirl:I also hated how when Rosie got back from her vacation, Juwannaman mafde her start in on the laundry and the poor woman hardly had time to unpack! She was also very dismissive of the bracelet Rosie gave to her
"Well isn't THIS fun!"
I wanted to smack her face. The count was actually very nice to Rosie when he got a gift. No wonder he left that slag!
That's because the man has real class. WHich means that you are gracious to EVERYONE regardless of their station in life. And you try to make people feel at ease in your presence. That bitch throws the backhanded compliments like no one I've ever seen.
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I know. She was the one who was always espousing making people feel at ease.
I also loved when she was saying that Bethanny kept going on and on about the Hamptons Social Life magazine slight, and she did worse when Ramona made the comment about her much older husband. She wouldn't shut up about it and Ramona apologized several times.
She is such a fake bitch, and so what if she is an Algonquin indian? I have a Cherokee Indian chief as a contractor. He doesn't think he is special, although he kinda is.
Oh no, does that mean she will have to give up the Hamptons mansion? Who cares about her. The only person I like on the show is Jill. The others are just tramps.
TEE I don't know why Bethanny puts up with these bitches shit? Unless it's all for the show.
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"He's our you." LaFleur
WATCH THIS:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iB_fUEe5Eh0
http://muppet.wikia.com/wiki/Count_von_Count
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"He's our you." LaFleur
WATCH THIS:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iB_fUEe5Eh0
Snowpiece, I was thinking of that episode she looked disgusted when she looked at the driver like he had efing rabies or something. B just shrugged it off like she could give a fuck
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I think I need to give up porn for awhile...
"and a member of the Algonquin tribe of Connecticut..."
Pffftttt...anyone can be anything these days.
Submitted by devilgirl:I also hated how when Rosie got back from her vacation, Juwannaman mafde her start in on the laundry and the poor woman hardly had time to unpack! She was also very dismissive of the bracelet Rosie gave to her
"Well isn't THIS fun!"
I wanted to smack her face. The count was actually very nice to Rosie when he got a gift. No wonder he left that slag!
That's because the man has real class. WHich means that you are gracious to EVERYONE regardless of their station in life. And you try to make people feel at ease in your presence. That bitch throws the backhanded compliments like no one I've ever seen. NOT classy.
He looks like a bloated vampire
+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
"You know, and we know, and you know that we know that it's nonsense"-Daniel Hannan
I wonder what chapter in the etiquette book talks about relinquishing ones' title when being divorced by the title holder.
Looks like a silent auction where the Count is bidding on that vial of blood.
Michael K is a genius:
What's the correct fork to use to stick it in her, because this ho is done!
Submitted by Clarisse on Tue, 03/31/2009 - 11:48am.
Carrottop!
Are cheese curds squeaky? I learn the most wonderous things from you!
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Poutine cheese curds are definitely squeaky. Sort of like if, after you brush your teeth really good, you rub your finger against them. You know that squeak? That's what these cheese curds sound like when you're eating them.
http://abaltimoreblock.files.wordpress.com/2008/07/800px-originalpoutine...
I know Orange County was taped in advance, so yeah, I'm assuming. I hate the NYC hos, I've barely watched. BORING. I see more interesting New Yorkers pissing on the street every day.
Carrottop!
Are cheese curds squeaky? I learn the most wonderous things from you!
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Cooler than the other side of the pillow.
mike on Tue, 03/31/2009 - 10:49am.
"They're unlike any housewives I've ever seen. They hold no real jobs, they don't really raise their own kids, and they don't "keep" their own homes."
Yup!
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"That being said, I'd hit it with a maxi-pad stuffed in his mouth." (MK)
Ricki: do they tape the season in advance? do you know?
check out the Anjie post, Mike has another fatty Anoop video linked...
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"He's our you." LaFleur
WATCH THIS:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iB_fUEe5Eh0
Uh...there are really people left on this Earth that didn't know you can edit Wikipedia? Anything outlandish or false will be deleted/re-written in 3 hours anyway, so it's not like it matters.
OMG LOL at devilgirl and islandgirl.
Here's to the CountLess. I love her in all of her bullshit royal glory.
America's Most Hated Family
TV documentary written and presented by the BBC's Louis Theroux about the Phelps family, at the heart of the Westboro Baptist Church.
Whatever. I like her. That Wiki update is hilarious though.
I've always admitted that I'm ruled by my passions.
- Elizabeth Taylor
RHNYC season 17; episode 5: The Countess LuAnn finally marries the 150 year-old zillionaire for whom she has been caring as a night duty nurse. (Except she makes Rosie empty the bed-pan.) During the bed-side ceremony, Ramona is ordered out of the hospital room when she mentions that the groom looks old.
She can bitch and moan all she wants about the title, but the moment that divorce is signed she will no longer be a countess...she can keep referring to herself as such but the title will no longer be real or apply for the records unless she gets bestowed a new title by any of the monarchies in europe or marries another noble. Face it bitch, you are a plebeian and that's all you ever gonna be (title or not) because it is not in your blood to be anything more than that.
"In the South we mature faster. I think is the heat." - Blanche Devereaux
I think in the episode where Luanna described her new book (Class with the Countess) Bethenny sure enough said that the Countess was creating a glass ceiling waiting to shatter. IT HAS NOW SHATTERED ALONG WITH THAT COUNTESS IMAGE. I love the line LuMann will pull a Tina Turner and want to keep her name.
Michael K. you are awesome. you complete me. LOL.
She's probably better off.
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"That being said, I'd hit it with a maxi-pad stuffed in his mouth." (MK)
Submitted by christine the hoff on Tue, 03/31/2009 - 11:09am.
He said to stop aborting my poo babies.
on topic, who the fuck are these people? I don't watch TV.
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It's too bad they sell Benefibre so readily.
What's the correct fork to use to stick it in her, because this ho is done!
LMAO at you MK!!!!!!!!!
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"He's our you." LaFleur
WATCH THIS:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iB_fUEe5Eh0
CLARISSALINA! POOOOOOOOOOO-teen!
Mmmmmm. I miss the squeaky cheese curds already.
Ever heard that this one appeared on the hot hook-up club
===" AffluentMeet.com "===
for wealthy singles to hook up for Love and Sexy dating?
I guess the Nubian Princess went down for the Count.
*rim shot*
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You know the ho was chompin on his chamois.
(Courtesy of coiled-n-hissing)