American Idol: Who Cares If You Can Sing?! You Look Like Shit!
No, this picture is not of a one-girl tribute band to Tokio Hotel. It's not even the broken condom baby of a Sanrio store and a Hot Topic store. It's Allison looking like a Japanese Anime character vommed all over her. The judges just couldn't seem to get past this last night and I just couldn't get past how fucking stupid they are. I think Randy said, "blah...blah..blah....your outfit sucks, dawg!" or something like that. Okay, so she doesn't look as glittery as one of Paula Abdul's Vicodin pills, but bitch didn't look that awful!
No, Allison's "Don't Speak" didn't make me want to use my time to scour the internet to download an illegal copy of it, but it wasn't the worst of the night. And all the judges could say is how she looked like a punk rock skunk after getting hit by a semi. Constructive criticism: they are doing it wrong.
It wasn't surprising that they didn't make any mention of Adam Lambert's whole look. The bitch is looking more and more like a middle-aged female-to-male tranny doing a really bad impersonation of final days Elvis. No matter what Adam does, the judges will still crawl up his sparkle hole, steal his eggs and use that shit to impregnate themselves. Yeah, that's why Simon's chichis are looking more luscious than usual. He's knocked up with Adam's baby.
I mean, Paula Abdul even compared him to Mick Jagger and Steven Tyler!! D.A.R.E. just found the idea for their new campaign! Seriously, STEVEN TYLER?! More like MIA TYLER.
I can't even explain the big gay lion's performance of "Play That Funky Music" last night. I might have understood it if he performed it at Disneyland's Tomorrow Land while I was high on acid. That bitch was screeching like someone was waxing his asshole with liquid nails. Put a butt plug in it, take a Valium and calm the fuck down. This is American Idol, not American AHHHHHdol.
Now on to predictions. This is actually kind of hard, because last night's real theme was: SHIT! Sure, Kris Allen whispered sweet nothings into my peen hole, but nobody made me jizz in my chonies. But if I must guess:
Megan "Doesn't Bring Me" Joy - It's her time. I've had several servings of what she has to offer and spit up every last morsel. Megan has a voice that was meant to sing about dying hearts and cheating peens, not about rainbows and sunshine. Last night in heaven, Bob Marley emptied out his bong faster than normal after listening to Megan murder his song.. Bitch, take your happy ass shit elsewheres!
Anoop - Karaoke night is over. It's time to get back to your dorm room, Anoop. Curfew is up!
The 3rd bottom spot will either go to Allison, Scott or the Timberlake wannabe. Whores might have liked Scott's Olan Mills hair and his Billy Joel crooning, so my guess is that Allison will wrongfully be in the bottom.
They should keep all three of them and instead get rid of the most annoying gnat on that show: Kara DioSTFU. This ho actually said, "It's like Studio 57 in here!" I have five words for Kara: PLEASE FUCKING LEAVE YOU STUPID CUNT. Yeah, I know that's 6 words, but I'm using the Kara DioGuardi method of counting.
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Jesus Christ on a Crack Coated Pogo Stick!
Here's me thinking it was that Kelly (I shoulda won World Idol!,not that Norwegian dude who no ones ever heard of!)Clarkson fat,ugly cunt she is!
God! I HATE that Clarkson fat whore!
Tevness
Adam L is one fucking "HOT" dude!! GAY or not!!
and YES this outfit on her fucking SUCKS!! Who ever dressed her for the night needs to be FIRED!!!!
Adam and Allison are the best.
Wastebook:
A place for all the pics of you wasted you don’t want on Facebook
http://wastebook.wordpress.com/
WTF was she on with all the bird stuff?? she obviously reads vote for the worst. i think simon got a bit PO'd.
Hi Ricky,
Adam is my favorite too.. i think he is the best performer and entertainer they ever had on the show.. did u c megan's bird walk to the loser seats???
"Living Your Golden Years To The Fullest!" such as my friend on "--- 40plusfinder.com ---" said. That is a really funny and interesting place for baby boomers and other mature singles in their 40's, 50's and 60's to keep the flames of love and passion burning.
I really wish they would quit this contest for a career crap. They've had like what, 10 seasons of his nonsense and only 2 people have become SOMEWHAT FAMOUS? America needs to find something better to watch and stop encouraging this.
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"This is why I beat hookers" - Tig from Sons of Anarchy
I don’t understand the fascination the judges have with Adam. He's a hop, step, and a jump away from working at a cheap Nashville, TN karaoke bar. However, I believe Megan should be the one to go home. She's a pretty face but she CANNOT sing, and what was with the whole "all my fans are feeling it" comment. She and Anoop need to bring down the self-righteousness, it’s slightly nauseating.
IN THIS ECONOMY you must walk childern in nature.
Mike Ockenballs, I doubt you'll read this now, but my favorite is Adam. Whether I want him to win, however, is a different question lol. Is winning still good, or is it better to be 2nd or 3rd?
Submitted by Aunt Bea on Wed, 04/01/2009 - 5:53pm.
I agree Adam seems to be the most talented even though he looks like a gay Elvis.
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Pick up your socks and drop your slots, we're going to a party.
Megan made Bob Marley roll one in his grave...she's has to leave tonihjt.
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Pick up your socks and drop your slots, we're going to a party.
Submitted by Mike Ockenballs on Wed, 04/01/2009 - 4:14pm.
I think they should put Scott behind the wheel in the next Ford commercial!
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I would pay to see that.
I love Adam, I don't care what he sings as long as he's still there. He's entertaining not like that milk breath Kris Allen. Bleh.
Allison made me long for Gwen Stefani......
Submitted by Mike Ockenballs on Wed, 04/01/2009 - 4:14pm.
I think they should put Scott behind the wheel in the next Ford commercial!
I've been saying that for weeks. & I think he'd totally go along with it. Then, someone should cover his eyes while he's driving ...
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"So? I'm intellectual and stuff."
"You're flunking English. That's your mother tongue, and stuff."
Her dentition is what bothers me most about her.
MK just made my day, this post had me in stitches. And you're mentioning Tokio Hotel. I have to say hi.
She looks kinda sweet actually. Just a little naff, like a 2001 Kelly Osbourne without the attatoode.
Imagine if everyone that was a bit naff got booted off American Idol. There wouldnt be no dang competition!
Last night was like pulling teef and I couldn't agree more with MK! Kick that freaking megan girl outta here!
Once again Paula is off her rocker. That chick in the picture totally needs a make-over a.s.a.p! For some reason I do not like the tool in the glasses.
I think they should put Scott behind the wheel in the next Ford commercial!
Ricki, who is your favorite to win?
LOL...you know who played the Stir Of Echoes chick?
Dr. Cameron off House (Jennifer Morrison)
YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!! HOLY SHIT!!! I TOO THINK OF THE STIR OF ECHOES CHICK WHEN I SEE THE SISTER!!!!!!
Mike Ockenballs, you are my hero.
I wondered what happened to all my measuring tapes. They are on the front of her dress mess.
LOLL @ the whole MK review!
Scott's sister kinda reminds me of http://infinitecoolness.com/galleries/stirofechoes/stirofechoes24.jpg
but a little scarier.. with a Leno chin...
Hahahah! YES! Scott's sister, unfortunately, has quite the face for radio. So does Scott, incidentally. I'm more curious as to why his "sighted" brother looks so much like a Brewer twin! lol
That Kris guy is hot as shit. Oh my. I wish he was gay...
Megan Cockring has got to go. On another topic,has anyone been horrified by looking at Scott's sister?
Submitted by ricki lake on Wed, 04/01/2009 - 3:33pm.
that was david spade?? my man thought it was, but i thought not.
shh... don't tell him he was right.
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'fuck you guys. i'm goin' home.'
My roommate and I spotted David Spade.
And then we laughed.
For a long time.
Submitted by KD on Wed, 04/01/2009 - 2:59pm.
Oh an Paula was all dancing and said "It was like I was hearing that song for the first time!" And I was thinking, yeah, you are like a goldfish, crazy woman! Each swim around the bowl is a new experience!
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LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! so true KD!
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"He's our you." LaFleur
WATCH THIS:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iB_fUEe5Eh0
lil rounds and megan need to go.
adam is not of this planet.
I agree with Ricki, I don't know why Adam picked that lame song, there was nothing too special about his performance for me last night. I saw Lisa Rhinna, I thought she was with Hamlin too, I can't believe I missed Terrence!
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"He's our you." LaFleur
WATCH THIS:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iB_fUEe5Eh0
I don't watch AI, but I'm sooo glad MK reviews this shit. I just had much needed LOL fest in my office.
"I have five words for Kara: PLEASE FUCKING LEAVE YOU STUPID CUNT." MK 4/1/09
Bradi: I saw Rinna, but I just assumed the guy w/ her was her hubby. I'll have to check that out. As Snowy knows, nothing can top the culinary sharpei as a guest for me!
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"So? I'm intellectual and stuff."
"You're flunking English. That's your mother tongue, and stuff."
Submitted by Stoney on Wed, 04/01/2009 - 2:23pm.
Quit stalking me Falkor!
LOL
*muah*
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Oh. If I were stalking you you would know it from the permanent wetty wetness of you panties!
OnT: I like the emo one by far.....I hope he wins though I dont think hell have a very successful career when its all said and done.
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I like that boom boom POW.
Them chickens jockin my style.
didn't they all have stylists last nite?? they were all fucking done up, not like they've looked before. I thought they all got makeovers?? but i did not like lil'l hair!!! in fact i hated it!! that was the worst of the nite for me. I didn't mind Allisons outfit, like others said, take a look at the ugly shit in hot topic, not that different. is kris the guy who sang with the keyboard? i thought he sang very well, be he is way too small, and very pretty, girly boy for me.
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'fuck you guys. i'm goin' home.'
Did y'all catch David Spade and Lisa RinnaRoidLips there in the audience???
That's one of my favorite parts, celeb spotting, last week, TERRENCE HOWARD!
"Going gray is like ejaculating. You know it can happen prematurely, but when it actually does, it's a total shock." MAH BOO!!!
Scott totally had the Kirk (Kurt?) Cameron hairstyle last night.
Yes, Scott has the teeth of a rabid Tijuana rat, it's true...and frightening.
I liked Adam's performance ok, but good God, NOBODY can sing that song without it being totally cheesy! I also loved how he was like "I really love this song, because you can REALLY riff on the melody," ...and then proceeded to do the same Adam-Lambert-vocal-histrionics he always does! It's like, dude...you can do that to any song. And you pickd "Play That Funky Music"? On the week you can sing ANY popular song off of iTunes??? WHAT GIVES?!?
BB: Yes! He always says things like, "If America allows me to continue," & I think he really means it.
KD: If I were in the audience & Paula's jittery ass was blocking my view dancing, it would totally piss me off!
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"So? I'm intellectual and stuff."
"You're flunking English. That's your mother tongue, and stuff."
Submitted by dramaqueen365247 on Wed, 04/01/2009 - 2:53pm.
Has anyone else noticed Scott's nasty teeth? There little & point & sharp like a rat or something. I feel bad saying that, because I think he seems like a genuinely nice person who's truly humbled by this experience.
HA! Yeah, I noticed. One of the first things I always notice about people is their teeth. But I like Scott because, like you said, he is a really nice dude and he's funny. But would I listen to his album? Noooo.
I found a great place
++**..++**..++**.. AffluentMeet.com ++**..++**..++**..
It 's where you have the opportunity dreaming about dating a millionaire and make it true! I thought everyone needed to meet some miracle after all the terrible stuff in the news and the economy :)
I'm still not watching.
"Churlish" -- good word, girlie!
I wish I could figure out Lil's deal. I did feel sorry for her standing there wiping her eyes. & her little girl hugging Randy so tight brought tears to my eyes, but I'm such a damn sap for anything to do with kids!
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"So? I'm intellectual and stuff."
"You're flunking English. That's your mother tongue, and stuff."
Oh an Paula was all dancing and said "It was like I was hearing that song for the first time!" And I was thinking, yeah, you are like a goldfish, crazy woman! Each swim around the bowl is a new experience!
this outfit looks like 8th or 9th grade mixed with fail. I'm sure you had this girl in your school - the chubby girl who tries too hard.
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It's grilled cheese samich, hunny buns, not girl cheese.
yes Drama, Adam is always gracious and professional like that. I think Anoop was a little short with the judges too, I was like don't go there Anoop Dawg Millionaire! People wll see it as churlish.
When Scott is standing there smiling I can't even look at the tv, sorry but it's painful for me.
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"He's our you." LaFleur
WATCH THIS:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iB_fUEe5Eh0
I actually watched most of AI last night, for the first time this season! I heard allison and thought she sounded kinda like Pink.
Who is the guy near the end who played the piano? The one with the floppy jaw, and not the blind guy? I liked him. Mostly because I like that song and thought that he sung it well. Everyone else was alright, but a little pitchy for me, dawg.
RL: Now that I look back on it, you're right. He did cut her off.
Has anyone else noticed Scott's nasty teeth? There little & point & sharp like a rat or something. I feel bad saying that, because I think he seems like a genuinely nice person who's truly humbled by this experience.
Oh, & also, I really liked that Adam gave the band props last night. Very smart. Best advice anyone ever gave me: After an audition, always thank the acommpanist & send a follow-up thank you for the opportunity note to the director &/or producers.
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"So? I'm intellectual and stuff."
"You're flunking English. That's your mother tongue, and stuff."