Barf Bags Not Included
A few years ago, Rosie O called Starlet Jones "delusional" because of that whole "dieting and Pilates" lie. Star's constipated trout face finally admitted she had her stomach cinched and sealed. Well, it looks like it's all fat water under the band now, because Rosie and Gay Al's former enema bottle holder have teamed up in the name of charity.
UsWeekly says both Rosie and Star will have lunch with the highest bidder. All cash monies from the auction will go towards the Figure Skating in Harlem charity.
Yes, lunch. How in Barbara Walters lisp Hell are you supposed to eat food things with a Star on one side and a Rosie on the other. Do you also win an hour with a gastroenterologist, because your stomach will be on the wrong side of fucked up after that lunch. On second thought, Rosie O wouldn't be so bad. I'd ask her to tell me stories about Babwa pee peeing on herself during meetings while I nibbled on my salad croutons. Then we'd crank call Hasselcrack and pretend to be Dubya. She would totally have phone fucky times with us. Okay, that would good.
But Star?! How are you supposed to swallow successfully when you've got that face looking back at you?! And you know she'll stare at your food with those hongray eyes that make you want to call a priest or 911 or something. I'd rather eat my meal off of a truck stop urinal cake than dine with that bitch. Although, I would like to ask her if the rumor about Gay Al taking three wangs in his glazed donut hole at one time is true. If it is, I need the blueprint on that shit.
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I have a better idea to save everyone some money. Jack Hanna feeds the hippos at the Columbus Zoo around 1pm.
I used to think that nothing could be worse than PMS. Wait till Menopause hits.You rise to anger slower, you'll cry during your rants, you're always wet from those fucking hot flashes, and you develop horrendous acne. Feeling bloated?? What about those tens pounds that you gain overnight? PMS that only occurred once a month, this is 24/7. Don't tell me about hormones, My Doc says they can cause cancer!
"I hate you!"
"I believe you"
I understand miffed, totally. It's frustrating as hell with the economy as it is being in a job that you deplore (my supermarket job) but I try to make lemonade out of lemons when I can. People think I'm a right jolly elf (those who don't really know what a miserabla bitch i truly am :D) but the fun part is, no one knows what's going on in my angry little head, unless they piss me off of course.
Which brings to mind, as you get older the PMS gets worse. HAAAAAAA! Everyone would scatter like cockroaches when the PMS activation was switched ON.
DEFCON 1..oh lawdyyyyyy.
Not a good Catholic here, but more Spiritually inclined, I try to think of Mother Theresa (I think it was her) who said, "Everything you do, do it with love, even when you are doing the most mundane of things" This thought gives me peace at times (except when in explosive mode) because this gift of peace is small compared to the greater gift of being and loving is.
Dayum..I sound smart.
@ Zappy, am trying not to complain but the mother f'er that runs my work has decided to cut back on workers and man I am doing the work of 2-3 ppl for the same pay. i swear when PMS hits, (which never used to bother me in the least), hits, the guys duck for cover coz I become the BIGGEST BEOTCH they have EVER known. I have done my Business Admin Cert and Travel Agent Cert but have been unable to find work in either of those fields , which is what I would really like to do, so I find it son frustrating working for the fact of just supporting my 3 children. I would so love to have a job I actually enjoy for once. Argh I suppose I should just be thankful I have a job!!
OT bloody hell that lezzbo is bloody yucko!!!
LOL @ miffed
Well, I'm trying not to complain about working even though one of my jobs is supershit. It was an easier way for me to be home with the kiddles while they were small and the idea was that once they were old enough, I could go back to Office stuff (I work in a Supermarket and worked nights at that time). Then the idea was ah, I'm almost vested in the pension and the hours are flexible and I get time off whenever needed, sick days, vacation days..blah blah blah, why start off somewhere else? So I stayed. Then this other job (Drs. Office) was sent to me by my Guardian Angel (that in itself is a mini story) and I love it, worked in medical for years (Secretarial Capacity) though this is EZ..one girl office.
So complaints? There are many, but being thankful is much easier to do.
Submitted by Zappy on Fri, 04/03/2009 - 7:51am.
Well miffed it's damp and rainy and about 50 degrees F at this point.
Sitting here waiting for the next patient to come in. He will probably forget to even though all patients are phoned to confirm appointments. The majority of the patients in this particular office are senior citizens and blah blah blah.
8:35 am here on the East Coast of the U.S.
G'day!
well howdy doody partener lol. I am so happy it's the weekend here as where I work, it's like being fucked up the ass without lube , so to speak. I swear to god I feel like they think we are super bloody human. I start at 5am and it's absolutely non-stop til 2pm. I truely can't explain what they are doing to us but I have said "hey just wait a sec I will go put on my Wonderfuckingwoman suit on". Man the world's recession has hit big time. Where's thebloody open post when u need it???
OT same as before fug, fug, fug.
LOL @ lizzie
I used to work for in International Sales some years back and one of my bosses travelled through 6 time zones in a 10 day period. No wonder he was such a pain in the ass.
Well miffed it's damp and rainy and about 50 degrees F at this point.
Sitting here waiting for the next patient to come in. He will probably forget to even though all patients are phoned to confirm appointments. The majority of the patients in this particular office are senior citizens and blah blah blah.
8:35 am here on the East Coast of the U.S.
G'day!
Submitted by lizzieb on Fri, 04/03/2009 - 7:31am.
It's lunch time in the UK, a bright spring day. So good afternoon! I have never been able to understand how it can be different times and even days in different places. Maybe I a little slow. These two are virtually unknown here so that's another lovely thing about today!
lunch time Fri or sat??? These fugs are also quite unknown here thank bloody goodness. I really only know them through the internet. I know one is lezzy and the other was a beard and both are supposed c$%ts!
It's lunch time in the UK, a bright spring day. So good afternoon! I have never been able to understand how it can be different times and even days in different places. Maybe I a little slow. These two are virtually unknown here so that's another lovely thing about today!
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The streets of hell are paved with good intentions.
~ Twain
Submitted by Zappy on Fri, 04/03/2009 - 7:16am.
Good Morning! What a lovely site seeing these beautiful visions of absolute perfection first thing in the morning! Just makes my day brighter!
Is it too late to comment on some of the posts re:
oatmeal and fat gut?
morning to you Zappy from Australia, it is 11.06pm here what's the weather like there? I am still in 3/4 jeans and a singlet top, hope you will be getting some nice sunny weather there 2day!! What does this lovely new day have in store for you?
OT got damn they be ERGERLEY hehe
Good Morning! What a lovely site seeing these beautiful visions of absolute perfection first thing in the morning! Just makes my day brighter!
Is it too late to comment on some of the posts re:
oatmeal and fat gut?
Let's take up a collection so that MK can really have lunch with them and report to us. $10 dollars each? :P
Id throw shade on both them
yeah I know that Star is sad brah. yeah?
At least Rosie is married and happy. What did Starlet Jones do lately? host a bad girls club reunion. SAD
I prefer fat Rosie over a dumb ass that got surgery. To bizzy for a treadmill fat ass?
I can't post my pic here. Help me bruh!
I'mma testin' my Tyra siggie.
EDIT: Damn, NM, it was funny though.
-.-
The internet, where the men are real men,
the women are real men, and the children are the FBI.
Who cares?
And the Cleveland steamers are definitly out.
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Pick up your socks and drop your slots, we're going to a party.
Michael K, those last 2 paragraphs made me heave my fucked to all hell work day in a happy LOL mess! I LOOOOVE you AAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAA, those HOOOOONGRAY eyes gonna haunt my sleep tonight AAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Nite, fuzzy but deadly
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
I would have lunch with them but I'm not tossing any salad.
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Pick up your socks and drop your slots, we're going to a party.
Nite whores...I love you more than Babwa loves Rosie...more than Star love pilates...even more than Gay Al loves him some pussy...Yes, I love you that much...But I must say g'nite...Yeah, it hurts you lots more than it hurts me, but remember this whores....*BELCH*....Pull my finger....What?
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
They are hideous. Both of them.
Submitted by Provolone on Thu, 04/02/2009 - 10:01pm.
yea what happened to seven? asymmetrical boobies are all the rage
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For the LAST GOD DAMNED TIME,...*huff...huff*...IT IS A SEVENTH NIPPLE, NOT A SEVENTH TIT!....Oh, like you whores are just sooooooo perfect. *covering seventh nipple protectively with tiger paw*...:-(
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Submitted by tojo on Thu, 04/02/2009 - 10:12pm.
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Thu, 04/02/2009 - 10:05pm.
They should use these 2 pictures to cure chronic masturbators.
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Why, does it work?
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so far, so good
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Thu, 04/02/2009 - 9:59pm.
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Thu, 04/02/2009 - 9:58pm.
SEVEN
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TATTLE TALE! I never refer to your missing testical, do I??? Well, 'cept how exceptional it was garlic roasted with some Fava Beans and a bottle of Chianti....*licking tiger lips*...
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
I'd rather have my nuts connected to jumper cables on a car battery before I'm seen in public with these scowling sea hags.
What moron in their right mind would bid????
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Thu, 04/02/2009 - 10:05pm.
They should use these 2 pictures to cure chronic masturbators.
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Why, does it work?
================================================
the end...
Submitted by Hekki on Thu, 04/02/2009 - 10:04pm.
Good one. :)
You've put some thought into this!
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
Tigerlilly exposed!!!1!
http://www.dailymotion.com/user/fluffybunnykins666/video/x8l7lj_shes-a-t...
Submitted by Hekki on Thu, 04/02/2009 - 10:04pm.
Submitted by Provolone: "...they have a flat stomach but the area around the belly button is all oatmealy. do they make irons or something to straighten that shit out??"
They do not. Once the skin has been stretched, it doesn't usually go back to its former glory.
Imagine filling your ballsack with saline solution to about 20 times its normal size and leaving it that way for 6 months. Then let the water out and see what happens. I'm sure you'd have some trouble stuffing it all back in your tighty whities.
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It's a good thing I'm not drunk, I'd be slathering my nutsack with oatmeal and listening to Celine. Least that's what I did Tuesday.
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
They should use these 2 pictures to cure chronic masturbators.
***********************************************
"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
Submitted by Provolone: "...they have a flat stomach but the area around the belly button is all oatmealy. do they make irons or something to straighten that shit out??"
They do not. Once the skin has been stretched, it doesn't usually go back to its former glory.
Imagine filling your ballsack with saline solution to about 20 times its normal size and leaving it that way for 6 months. Then let the water out and see what happens. I'm sure you'd have some trouble stuffing it all back in your tighty whities.
yea what happened to seven? asymmetrical boobies are all the rage
+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
"You know, and we know, and you know that we know that it's nonsense"-Daniel Hannan
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Thu, 04/02/2009 - 9:58pm.
SEVEN
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
Submitted by Provolone on Thu, 04/02/2009 - 9:52pm.
speaking of all this baby weight talk, ive been with a few moms in my life...some milfs some midefs(mothers im drunk enough to fuck) and they have a flat stomach but the area around the belly button is all oatmealy. do they make irons or something to straighten that shit out??
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Provie! Don't make me take you over my tiger knee...against my flat, sexay tiger tummy with SIX HEAVING BOSOMS and spank you for being a bad, bad, boy....*wetting tiger lips with tongue all sultry like..."....WAIT! PROVIE!!! WHERE ARE YOU GOING????? *poking tiger tummy*... Meh, fag!
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
speaking of all this baby weight talk, ive been with a few moms in my life...some milfs some midefs(mothers im drunk enough to fuck) and they have a flat stomach but the area around the belly button is all oatmealy. do they make irons or something to straighten that shit out??
+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
"You know, and we know, and you know that we know that it's nonsense"-Daniel Hannan
Submitted by barelybeagle on Thu, 04/02/2009 - 9:43pm.
Submitted by Charles Manson on Thu, 04/02/2009 - 9:36pm.
I love your avie, Charles. Zeppelin is my all-time favorite band
THEYRE MINE ALSO. IF YOU EVER GET A CHANCE GO TO YOU TUBE AND WATCH ALL THEIR OLD CLIPS. I SAW THEM IN CONCERT 3 TIMES DURING THE 70'S. THEY ARE SECOND TO NONE.
Submitted by Charles Manson on Thu, 04/02/2009 - 9:36pm.
who's the lady friend in your avie???
+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
"You know, and we know, and you know that we know that it's nonsense"-Daniel Hannan
Submitted by Charles Manson on Thu, 04/02/2009 - 9:36pm.
I love your avie, Charles. Zeppelin is my all-time favorite band.
Tiger: Yup!
There's a woman I know from the neighborhood who is very overweight. She was telling me about this date she was having later that night with a guy she knew back in high school. When I asked her about it a couple days later, she told me she wound up kicking him out of her apartment.
Basically, they were looking at old photos from high school and he started ribbing her about how thin she was then, and how much weight she's gained. She was like "Hekki, I'm no one to talk, but he had a huge beer gut and a spare tire himself!" Hmmph. I said "Good for you!"
I just LOVE how these men can sit and scrutinize women when they are big old fatties themselves.
Ugh.
I encounter a H-O-T site called _____Tallmeet. Co M____,on
which I have found many friends even lovers from different
cities and countries. That's so great!
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Thu, 04/02/2009 - 9:30pm
MY WIFE POPPED OUT A COUPLE AND IT TOOK HER LIKE 6 FUCKING MONTHS EACH TIME TO LOSE THE BELLY.
tojo: Steel cut oats are minimally processed oats. They're basically oats as they grow, but just cut once, instead of flattened, like the old-fashioned oats are. I don't know anyone who doesn't like them once they've had them.
They take a lot longer to cook, but they are very filling and delicious. Really whole grains. I cook up a huge batch and then just reheat portions.
When I'm good, I just add a lot of cinnamon (naturally sweet and regulates blood sugar) and some walnuts (heart-healthy fat). To make them for Mr. Hekki and the brats, I add butter, a little brown sugar, cinnamon and raisins. Everyone eats them happily, and no one's irregular in this family.
Submitted by Clarisse on Thu, 04/02/2009 - 8:32pm.
TITS,
You've been listening to Lewis about bottled water haven't you!?!
*
don't know who that is.
saw a water truck delivering bottles to a neighbour today. made me chuckle.
only thing bottled water is good for is the bottle - to refill under the tap.
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
Tigerlilly exposed!!!1!
http://www.dailymotion.com/user/fluffybunnykins666/video/x8l7lj_shes-a-t...
Submitted by FritoDorito on Thu, 04/02/2009 - 8:56pm.
Preach it! That is precisely why I ain't givin' birth to no cheezits! I don't want to get fat!
*
I thought you were of the male variety!
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
Tigerlilly exposed!!!1!
http://www.dailymotion.com/user/fluffybunnykins666/video/x8l7lj_shes-a-t...
Ever saw this one on
___ AffluentMeet.com ___
It 's where you have the opportunity dreaming about dating a millionaire and make it true!
Submitted by Hekki on Thu, 04/02/2009 - 9:08pm.
Submitted by Tigerlilly: "... it's ONLY women who get that shit.
Fuck that! When you men give birth and spend 24/7 taking care of those rug rats, let's see how fuckin' svelt yo' asses remain..."
LOL. PREACH it, sister.
It's absolutely horrific to see these celebs who are in the biggest rush in the world to "lose the baby weight". In real life, it's just not that easy, especially if you are caring for a newborn (and like some of us, a newborn AND older kids). Makes me so angry. Oh yeah, you can't "let yourself go"! Someone explain THAT to me.
Fortunately, I've been able to shake it off after each kid, but god forbid you DON'T. You lazy, slovenly bitch, you should be lucky your husband still comes home to you. That's the message.
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Oh, I know! I don't even have kids, but I get irritated when people judge mothers for "not losing the baby weight" fast enough as if their priority of...oh, I don't know...MOTHERING should take a back seat to the all mighty God of VANITY.
I mean, I have a friend who basically never had to lift a finger all of her life. She can go to her yoga classes and eat organic foods and shit like that. She doesn't have kids. She's always had someone (a man working on hubby #2) take care of her. She's only ever had one 'real job' in her life that lasted 13 mos and bitch is 31, ain't like she be 23 or some shit. Fine. Whatever. Nice work if you can get it, BUT:
She has the NERVE to talk about how fat her friend is who 1) has two children 2) was in an abusive (albeit mutually abusive) marriage 3) lost her job 4) is going through a divorce 5) is desperately trying to launch a new business to make ends meet because her husband don't pay no child support and 6) is in the PROCESS of losing weight despite it all...I mean, WTF??? I say give this bitch a medal!
I mean, it's soooooooo hard to watch your weight when you have no kids, no job, someone else supporting you, someone else's money to burn on pilates classes. *eye roll* GET REAL!
I mean it's totally dumb and counter-productive to completely ignore your health and allow yourself to get obese but with all things considered, I can see how it could happen with a struggling mom. Men in general have virtually no excuse, BUT single women don't have that excuse either. AND if you a rich ho of either gender? TALK TO THE HAND...
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...