American Idol: Just Declare Adam The Winner So We Can All Go Home
Last night's American Idol confirmed to me that Kara DioPLEASEFALLINAHOLE is fucking with this shit! The dumb bitch's lock jaw is making it hard for her to get the words out fast enough thus making the show go over! Unlock that shit or hook your jaw up to the back of a truck and go home. Because the show went over, my raggedy Tivo didn't record all of Adam Lambert's performance. Kara is to blame. Or maybe the Idol producers pulled this trick out of their assholes to get us to watch the show live. Even if they gave me the phone number to Paula's back alley pharmacist, I still won't watch this fuckery live. Thank Cheesus for the internets, because I was able to see the performance everyone and their sperm donor was queefing glitter bombs over. So let's dissect after the jump. JUMP!!!
Adam Lambert "Mad World" (above) - What's the name for Adam's superfans? Glitterheads? Glamberts? Drama Fags? Ravers? Whatever they call themselves, they have been trying to convert me since day one. It can't be done. Whenever he performs, I feel like the set should be changing itself and I expect to see dancers wearing shiny costumes to prance about him. When he finishes singing, I'm all ready for him to break into a scene where he laments about his missing cow. I always turn around, because I expect to hear some loud ass old man complain about how his theater seat is making his Sciatica act up. It's all very community theater meets a Meat Loaf video. And that's who he kind of reminds me of. He's like a fancier version of Meat Loaf made with brioche, lamb livers and a pinch LSD powder. Adam's performance last night was straight out of Donnie Darko the Musical, but the judges' ass lips tingled so much for it that they all stood up. Even Simon made his fur titties bounce for Adam by getting off his ass. And even though I'm not raising a glow stick to Adam, I still think he belongs in the top 2 with...
Allison Iraheta "I Can't Make You Love Me" - You know how most of you have to eat your own hair to contain the excitement you feel for Adam? I feel the same way about Allison. I don't know if it's because she has the voice of a 45-year-old Reno, NV casino waitress who is addicted to Nicorette patches or because she wears all her clothes backwards. I just lo-lo-lo-love her. She makes me want to hung a banana until it explodes. I felt that her song last night was dedicated to everyone out there who keeps voting her in the damn bottom! Allison will never win this mess, but I hope she at least gets the chance to battle the Glitter King in the end.
Danny JOKEy "Stand By Me" - What tiki bar did I walk into?! I want to stand by Danny, just so I can push him off the stage. When are we all going to gather together as one and send Danny back to the Lens Crafters display case he came from?! Danny is just so 1992. Unfortunately, California Dreams is no longer on the air, because Danny was born to play the geeky janitor who constantly annoys the band by begging them to let him sing back-up "just once."
Lil Rounds "What's Love Got To Do With It?" - Yes, drunk drag queens in Minnesota do better Tina Turner impersonations, but there was something endearing about her performance last night. I think it was the kitchen ass wig on her head that looks like it was fished out from the Los Angeles River.
Kris Allen "All She Wants To Do Is Dance" - Wake me when he finally gets the memo and starts performing topless. Show them nipples!
Anoop Desai "True Colors" - Apparently his true color is fucking bright lime green! The only thing I could focus on was his striped-lime green cardigan! And his version of True Colors was not better than THIS ONE.
Matt Giraud “Part Time Lover” - This shit sounded like the time my chihuahua had a bad case of the hard shits and would screech every time a doody nugget was coming out. A screech that almost melted his poop! That's what Matt sounded like and the judges fucking ate it up. They ate up melted poop.
Scott MacIntyre "The Search Is Over" - Just NO! Joel Osteen probably rocked out to this mess last night and that says everything. Scott made most Christian Rock music sound like the fucking Circle Jerks. It's time for Scott to flutter away!
My bottom 3 prediction: Scott, Lil Rounds & Kris.
Who will be executed?: Scott
Video VIA Rickey
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I love Adam, and now I love him even more now that you have implanted the picture of him rubbing Vaseline on Jake. Yum. Almost enough to heal the pain of losing Heath. Almost. God bless it, there's nothing like gay porn.
Only because "Idol" ran over into "Fringe" time was I even watching this. I was a bit baffled; at times I could honestly not tell whether the singer was male or female from the voice. I thought he was decent, but I'm biased because I like that song.
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Really don't mind if you sit this one out
My words but a whisper, your deafness a shout
--Jethro Tull
Someone asked for a good version of Mad World and there was a posting of Tears for Fears (which is pretty much the way I think of it and I love that song) but there's another version from the Donnie Darko movie. I won't say it's good or bad:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5MyMOi4LEr4
I guess it's a matter of taste. So I've been thinking about it and relistening. Though I dislike Adam Lambert and I reeeally do, I have to say he chose the best song for his abilities. And he was one of the few (because it was basically 80s night) who made me go -- that's really representative of that time. Iconic 80s. And he totally channeled Duran Duran, Boy George, and his inner Brit. Doing Stevie, Tina, or Bonnie Raitt -- those guys are a bit more timeless and don't as clearly represent a specific "moment" in time. I guess bc they're highly individual and have careers that span decades. Mad World and that sort of music -- it was so an 80s phenomena, a British pop invasion. So I was happy with AL's pick. Bc actually, I hate it when people do Stevie, Tina or Bonnie Raitt... and when people do Bonnie Raitt, they always do that song. Though I do appreciate Alison.
Longish post. Sorry.
Adam will win..I can not believe Simon gave him an ovation..he is really not good enough to deserve that.
xoxoxoxox
Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
Adam Lambert.... More like mAdame Lambert.
Adam sucks. Can't stand him. When Simon picked his saggy ass up & gave him an ovation I barfed. Now I know the show will make Adam the winner.
What are they feeding this lot? Several of them are piling on the chunk!
YES! I have always said that Adam is a total skinny Meatloaf ripoff!!! He is only decent when I picture him in full Glittery Rainbow Bright DRAG!
..or like last night.. I pictured him rubbing Jake Gyllenhall's nipples with Vaseline :D
.
xx
Well, no doubt Adam probably has it all wrapped up, but both me and the bf really think Allison's great. She's just a natural singer, and only 16. That's what wows me about her, she's just so young to sound so professional and "together".
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"Edwina's insides were a rocky place where my seed could find no purchase. " -- H.I. McDunnough
Actually ginger_t, you would be surprised to learn (given some of the uninformed opinions thrown all over the place) that Adam is a very good singer, technically. His "screeching" (belting out the crazy high notes) is incredibly controlled, usually spot-on the pitch, and coming from all the right places in his throat/mouth. Whether or not his voice is enjoyable is a matter of personal opinion, but his being a very, very good technical singer is not, and those who say otherwise have no clue what they are talking about. (And I am NOT just saying this because he's my favorite! I swear lol)
And yeah, I don't think Lil has made one good move yet.
I bet technically Adam's singing is not considered great (what do I know? I only react emotionally to music and to obvious fuck ups, as a layperson), but for me, it's his whole package. Sure, he can be a bit cheesy, and luckily he's dropped some of the god awful Clay Aiken/Constantine Maroulis mugging and side mouth-singing, but ... he's got a talent for putting on a show, picking the good songs, and workin' 'em. That said, it seems like his musical arrangements and lighting are LEAPS AND BOUNDS above his cast mates. Could it be he;'s making waaaaayyyy better decisions? How much control/authority do the contestants have over these choices, or does the band and lighting staff suggest recommendations? It could be that he's giving much better input to the the crew, and in turn, they are having a better time working with him. I think Adam will do well professionally with a bit more training, ProTools, and a giant media machine behind him. Geigh Power.
Seems like Lil is making all kinds of bad decisions. She always looks dated and older than her years, picks songs that don't allow her to soar, etc.
I's time for Scott to go...I feel kinda bad that he's blind but at this point he won't make it much further anyway...unless somebody gives Adam a bad case of laringitis.
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Pick up your socks and drop your slots, we're going to a party.
I disagree with you on Adam--I think he's good, and he's at least entertaining, unlike most of the other caca on this show. I couldn't agree with you more, though, about Allison. Why do people not like her? She's really good. And HOKEY! Someone please kill him! The world already has one Michael MacDonald, and we don't even like the one we've got! And don't you think those chin pubes he has make him look like the kind of douche who makes the finger-licking gesture when he talks about going down on a chick? I do. I hate him. But the worst is Scotty Wonder. He needs to go back home and take his Sham Wow brother with him.
why the %$#^%^# does Dial Idol say Anoop and Kris got less votes than Scott? STOP THE MADNESS! Just because someone is handicapped doesn't mean you have to give them a free pass, jesus! (as Gokey would say)
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"Liberache, Versace, Coocarachi"
WATCH THIS:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yRNpPSUMqKA&feature=related
Michael, did you see the baby pix that they were showing of Adam? He's a secret ginge! That's right! He's really a redhead with freckles! Swoon! The black hair is fake, he's a hot ginge! Woo hoo! Who cares about the damn performances? I was jizzing about the fact that he's ginge! YAY! American Idol sux really bad this year and for the past 3 years! Adam the big gay lion all the way!!!
I don't get the obsession with Lambert. I listened to his performance on my headphones at work today and his falsetto sucks- it's thin and weak. He sounded good on two notes of the whole song.
Allison still rocks. I still love Danny's voice but that arrangement was awful last night (probabaly because I love the original). Anoop was good.
The rest sucked. Scott needs to go!
boo, dial idol has my kris in last place. hopefully they are wrong, i wonder
what their track record is. that chick pit is like a curse for singers.
I think they flashed Adams number while he was singing because they were running out of time, actually they where already overtime.
Woah- what's up with all this "Queen" hate today.
I'm grabbing my ear muffs and blazing out of this bitch!
No. No. NO!
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P.S.: Fuck you, Sarah Palin:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=yFdijgMytUA
Chris Brown should get his ass kicked:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wo65yaAumko
"I don't think something is good, so it ISN'T!!!"
Uh, yeah. I don't like Queen, but they were pretty undeniably great at what they did. If it's not for you, awesome. I personally can't stand jazz, rap, gospel, Xtian rock, metal, thrash, trance, etc...but I can appreciate them for what they are, for the most part. At the very least I can acknowledge the difference between talent and non-talent.
And...back in the day...what was successful in the music industry did tend to be pretty good, at least much more so than now. The spate of disposable pop idols with no talent (who I do actually kinda love, ashamedly) is really fairly recent.
Submitted by DivasGone on Wed, 04/08/2009 - 2:29pm.
I agree. It's clear whom the producers have already crowned.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Submitted by TITS on Wed, 04/08/2009 - 2:27pm.
True dat. Queen wasn't good. They were one of the best rock bands ever.
I kind of lost interest after "News of the World", but their albums up to then were phenomenal.
EDIT: I only mentioned commercial success, because that is what Idol is all about.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Deb,
I didn't notice that. But I DID notice how much they really try to "sell" Adam's performances... he usually gets a very distinct lighting and stage set-up... When you watch the performances back, his staging definitely stands out. Like he's on a totally different show. I started noticing that from Ring of Fire week.
It's a not so subtle subliminal message: Long Live Queen Adam!
Deb - hugely successful doesn't necessarily equate to 'good'.
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
Tigerlilly exposed!!!1!
http://www.dailymotion.com/user/fluffybunnykins666/video/x8l7lj_shes-a-t...
Submitted by TITS on Wed, 04/08/2009 - 2:24pm.
Got it! I'll fuck around with it tonight when I have some time.
&&&
For all you Alan Rickman lovers:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WoqgZ595PHk
!WARNING!: This video will make pie goods temperatures reach critical levels. Risk of pie goods explosion is high. Use extreme caution.
Submitted by fuzzyslippers on Wed, 04/08/2009 - 2:12pm.
Submitted by TITS on Wed, 04/08/2009 - 2:05pm.
Sure I'll try it! You'll have to fill me in on the details. Speaking of word games, maybe you can answer this for me:
A few years ago I used to play a game called "String" where each player would submit a sentence or two. All players would then vote on the best sentence and this sentence would be part of a story. Kind of like Mad-Libs. Do you know if Yahoo has a game like this?
*
never heard of it. I try to limit myself to scrabble, pool and the odd game of crib or dominoes. Fucking addictive.
I'm illusive_smew on yahoo and yahoo messenger too.
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
Tigerlilly exposed!!!1!
http://www.dailymotion.com/user/fluffybunnykins666/video/x8l7lj_shes-a-t...
Submitted by TITS on Wed, 04/08/2009 - 1:07pm.
Freddy Mercury's voice was pretty flashy and over-the-top, but with the rest of Queen, they were hugely successful in pop music.
I will say tha Adam is more Meatloaf than Freddie, though.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Submitted by LA on Wed, 04/08/2009 - 2:05pm.
I couldn't agree more, LA.
I agree with DQ that the bottom 3 will be Lil, Scott, and Anoop.
Scott's got to go tonight.
My hub commented that only on Adam's spot were his numbers displayed while singing. The others' numbers came afterwards. I don't remember. Anybody else notice that?
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Submitted by TITS on Wed, 04/08/2009 - 2:05pm.
Sure I'll try it! You'll have to fill me in on the details. Speaking of word games, maybe you can answer this for me:
A few years ago I used to play a game called "String" where each player would submit a sentence or two. All players would then vote on the best sentence and this sentence would be part of a story. Kind of like Mad-Libs. Do you know if Yahoo has a game like this?
&&&
For all you Alan Rickman lovers:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WoqgZ595PHk
!WARNING!: This video will make pie goods temperatures reach critical levels. Risk of pie goods explosion is high. Use extreme caution.
"Submitted by Stoney on Wed, 04/08/2009 - 1:52pm.
Nicole Richie twittered that she's a Lil Rounds fan and she gets an unfair shake from the judges.
WORD."
Lil Rounds is good, but bitch has 'tude and that's not good. She was horrible last night, fucking horrible and in no fucking way does she have Tina Turner's amazing legs. Ugh, I hated how they played that up. Lame. There's only one Tina and she ain't it. Gotta love the girl though, she has a good voice, just not that good of a voice to win American Idol.
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P.S.: Fuck you, Sarah Palin:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=yFdijgMytUA
Chris Brown should get his ass kicked:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wo65yaAumko
Fuzzy - some of us play on yahoo literati if you want to try that let me know.
Often I'm too stupid to play move after move - that's why the email version is good.
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
Tigerlilly exposed!!!1!
http://www.dailymotion.com/user/fluffybunnykins666/video/x8l7lj_shes-a-t...
An Adam and Alison finale sounds right. They are the most talented by far.
Hokey is turning onto an old lesbian and is grossly overrated as a singer.
Please America, put Scott out of his misery.
Siiick Snowy! I did not particularly like My Prerogative, though that was the best of his up-tempo performances.
Lil can definitely sing, but I agreed with Simon when he said she had no real 'identity' and wasn't connecting with the audience. She was great the first week and has been so lackluster since. I had high hopes for her in the beginning and now I rarely even remember she's there unless she's on the stage. Some people are singers, and some people are 'vocal artists.' I think Lil is just a singer.
Submitted by KD on Wed, 04/08/2009 - 2:01pm
Correct. I didn't start watching until the live shows started. I had better start from beginning next season! : )
Stoney: I hope you're right. I really do. I hate seeing her up there getting panned by the judges. But, I don't think it's been unwarranted criticism.
PS It's nice to see your happy avvie back!
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"So? I'm intellectual and stuff."
"You're flunking English. That's your mother tongue, and stuff."
stoney: will you foller me? then I can pinch Nicole off you? or just tell me her twitter because I know you, you might be mean and tell me you don't want me follering you, LOL ;P ♥
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"Liberache, Versace, Coocarachi"
WATCH THIS:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yRNpPSUMqKA&feature=related
Reeter & Louisebrooks- So I take it you guys missed it during the auditions when Seacrest got so much flack because he put his hand up and tried to high five the guy, and there he was with his hand up, just standing there looking awkward. That was so funny. I keep hoping he does it again.
Ricki: I agree with your theory except how do you explain "My Perogative" which is my favorite of Anoop's by a long shot.
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"Liberache, Versace, Coocarachi"
WATCH THIS:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yRNpPSUMqKA&feature=related
I think Lambert is very good and so is Allison but I also love Kris Allen. I really hope Scott goes home tonite he creeps the shit out of me! The pity vote for him has to stop. Gokey is making me sick as well and so is Matt Giraud and Lil' Rounds has been tanking. As soon as Scott goes home I can rest easier.
Submitted by TITS on Wed, 04/08/2009 - 1:45pm.
Yo TITS, you ever play on Pogo.com? They have scrabble-like games. I'm a member there so let me know if you are.
&&&
For all you Alan Rickman lovers:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WoqgZ595PHk
!WARNING!: This video will make pie goods temperatures reach critical levels. Risk of pie goods explosion is high. Use extreme caution.
I hope a bunch of fuckers voted for Lil because I do think she'll bring it next week. Unlike the blind fucker.
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You have a fucking signature quote...come on now. Doesn't get much worse. aeon312 4/3/09
Submitted by kanderso on Wed, 04/08/2009 - 1:39pm.
Oh no! I didn't realize Scott was blind and I was just sitting there like - "What the fuck? Does this guy ever blink?! He's totally giving me the creeps..." Then I read that he was blind.
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Last night, my friend told me he was blind. I had no idea either. I figured he would be wearing sunglasses like Ray Charles or Stevie Wonder. My friend asked if I wondered why he was always touching someone's shoulder when walking. I guess I figured he was feely/needy.
Submitted by KD on Wed, 04/08/2009 - 1:15pm.
That's cause it's creepy. Seriously, he looks like he's trying to blow us up with his mind while smiling. It's unnerving and unholy.
Would it kill him to put some glasses on? Ray Charles did it. Stevie Wonder does it.
I really feel sorry for Lil. I don't know what's happened, but I totally agreed w/ Simon. I turned to Mr. DQ while she was singing & said, "It's like she forgot to flip a switch or something. I like her as a person, but there's a disconnect when she starts singing."
I predict bottom 3 will be Scott, Anoop, & Lil w/ Lil going home.
I don't get all these people who love Matt. I think his piano playing is the best thing about him. & "Holy Moly" (who coined that nickname?) definitely needs to keep the hat on.
I think Allison & Adam are by far the most talented vocally.
I gave Kris props for trying something different -- which he seems to do a lot. It might not always work, but at least he's not doing the same thing week after week.
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"So? I'm intellectual and stuff."
"You're flunking English. That's your mother tongue, and stuff."
Nicole Richie twittered that she's a Lil Rounds fan and she gets an unfair shake from the judges.
WORD.
_____________________________________________
You have a fucking signature quote...come on now. Doesn't get much worse. aeon312 4/3/09
Yes, Anoop is a yo-yo lol, although I don't think the formula is too tricky to figure out. Ballad - good, uptempo - bad. He is not an Usher and will never an Usher, and that's ok...as long as he realizes it. That's the problem most of them have - they don't know what they're good at and can pull off and what they can't. Ms. Roberta Clowney Junioress is a prime example, thinking everything she does is the shit. Oh how I wish the judges would be honest with hir...
"Submitted by fuzzyslippers on Wed, 04/08/2009 - 1:50pm.
Hey, I've been looking for you! I keep seeing your shoutouts to me on previous posts, but I never have a chance to answer you! I don't want you to think I'm ignoring you or anything <3"
Hahaha! Hakuna Matata! It's just your avatar makes me drool every time and I feel I have to thank you for it! :)
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P.S.: Fuck you, Sarah Palin:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=yFdijgMytUA
Chris Brown should get his ass kicked:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wo65yaAumko
I really don't get the Adam Lambert hype. Eh.
Submitted by ILovePapaSmurf on Wed, 04/08/2009 - 1:47pm.
Hey, I've been looking for you! I keep seeing your shoutouts to me on previous posts, but I never have a chance to answer you! I don't want you to think I'm ignoring you or anything <3
&&&
For all you Alan Rickman lovers:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WoqgZ595PHk
!WARNING!: This video will make pie goods temperatures reach critical levels. Risk of pie goods explosion is high. Use extreme caution.
sure Drama, since Adam will be breaking my heart and staying at Ricki's place!
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"Liberache, Versace, Coocarachi"
WATCH THIS:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yRNpPSUMqKA&feature=related
kanderso: sometimes Anoop is awesome, other times he's embarrassing! Simon was right to call him a "Yeo Yeo" (read with a snotty Simon Cowel voice)
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"Liberache, Versace, Coocarachi"
WATCH THIS:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yRNpPSUMqKA&feature=related