Open Post: Hosted By The Childbirth Simulator

God, I'm always like eight hours behind.

Have any of you ever been on birth control and gotten pregnant anyway (missed some days, whatever), and you didn't realize it so you were still taking BC for quite a while into the pregnancy? I've wondered about that for a while.

Also when I was really young, when not watching shit like Care Bears I occasionally would see the live birth shows on PBS, etc. You'd think that because of that I might be less grossed out by the whole thing, but not really.

zoh my god. no no no no no. if i have kids, it'll be a c-section. that is not happening to me. hell no.

Crap, I am only half awake and I have to go writing e-mails in spanish.

One in the pink and one in the stink.
Where's the starfish?

Submitted by Team Valtrex on Thu, 04/09/2009 - 12:20am.

Oh hay, I found it. NO THANKS TV! XD

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For all you Alan Rickman lovers:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WoqgZ595PHk

!WARNING!: This video will make pie goods temperatures reach critical levels. Risk of pie goods explosion is high. Use extreme caution.

Submitted by fuzzyslippers on Thu, 04/09/2009 - 12:16am.
Hay y'all, I need some laughs tonight. On an Open Post a while back, some of you horz brought up that "comingback" person and posted some of his/her shit. Anybody remember what day that was?
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Thursday.

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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"

Hay y'all, I need some laughs tonight. On an Open Post a while back, some of you horz brought up that "comingback" person and posted some of his/her shit. Anybody remember what day that was?

&&&

For all you Alan Rickman lovers:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WoqgZ595PHk

!WARNING!: This video will make pie goods temperatures reach critical levels. Risk of pie goods explosion is high. Use extreme caution.

It's like Boxing Helena but with a big baby coming out of her hoo hoo.

I know. Can we use the shim sham to clean up my vomit? Is it that absorbent? Let's ask the shim sham guy himself.

This is my favorite:http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2009/0408091sham2.html

I just realized this model is all vagina and has absolutely no head. Disturbing.

Submitted by kiwikim on Wed, 04/08/2009 - 11:01pm.
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Holy crap, I just looked at those pics--- there's blood everywhere! Who knew that a simple "love bite" could be so messy? There's a lot more to that story, no? She looks like she got the worst of it, he just looks like he has dried blood on his face.

Of course, I am speaking as a forensic examiner. :-)

I'm sure plastic doesn't smell the same.

Anyway, bitches need to be looking at smoking gun because they have more pictures (15!) of the shim sham show fall out. Number 7 is good as it looks like the new marimeko sheet pattern. And get this. Those two ho's got it off twice before the tongue biting if you believe the forensic latex evidence on the sheets. You wouldn't believe the pictures of shim sham show man. Who knew a tongue bled so much? for a broke ass meth head, the hotel room doesn't look bad.
Shim sham show must have been quite the cash cow. I'm gonna cut up little bits of fabric and sell them as....butt shammies.

I would feel damn silly doing what those ladies are doing, so more power to them.

And do they still use forceps? Has no one seen "Life and Times of Tristram Shandy?!"

Get out of town missy...you beat me by seconds,, u must of sensed me

Geez, man, quit stalking me!

Weird KD.....weird

ohhhhh shit. lost rocks my socks

ohhhhh shit. lost rocks my socks

Wow, no new posts in a while!
I actually just finished Lost and I'm wearing sweatpants! I just recently rediscovered the joy and comfort of sweatpants, now someone might have to nominate me for What Not to WEar because I go 'grunge' a lot more often now.

Ha! I'm in sweats (trying to clean my house today, failing miserably)and ready for Lost, too. 30 minutes...

I know, I love that post workout feeling when you have that adrenaline high and you feel so accomplished.

Well, I think we are off to Walmart now. This is probably my romantic date for the week.

Thats awesome and shitty at the same time,,, I feel like a million bucks BTW, ready to veg out insweats and watch some lost,,, hell yea!

Well, folks, the good news is, it's payday tomorrow! Bad news is about 85% of it is my Mortgage payment.

Snowy!
Your the best!! Lure him with a nice glass of white wine!

If I had my wits about me when I met him I would have snagged him, but when he looked at me with those big blue eyes and asked me my name, I think I said "Eddie Izzard."

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Shower time

Clarisse: OMG I just saw this now. SOWWY! I will go get him too!
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"Liberache, Versace, Coocarachi"
WATCH THIS:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yRNpPSUMqKA&feature=related

KD - I know, me either.

Thanks to that annoying broad, Barbara Walters, I can't seem to NOT call it myface. It has kind of a cute ring to it.

WTH? ..I'm lost here...
???

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KD - oh yeah. I forgot about the space book and myface.

Who is annonymous? Some of these people are my friends on myface and spacebook. I don't want them using anything against me. ...except there is really nothing to report. None for me.

I'm trying to think of something else to write...

Um.

I like Scrub'n'Bubbles. They've been coming up with some handy bathroom cleaners.

Oh sweet jesus, there's just no need to see such things yet I still pressed play....

In other news, I didn't win the lottery so can't quit my arsehat of a job, boo :(

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Well I like Colin. I'd let him jizz on my tattas anyday. - UKer.

We're all anonymous here...how many one night stands have you had?

Some dumb whores just want to make themselves look better.

Honestly, I'd rather hear how many people you've fucked and how many you regretted and tried to Wyle Coyote gnaw your arm out from under rather than lie and say you were raped.

I just re read my last post and it made me sad on a whole other level Hah

LMAO @ MK

The Martini Vagina! Ron Popele can advertise it!

Nah, no box for me

Snowy!!
Iz you ignurin me!?!?! *wipes tear*

Teddy Rubbbbz,
Um, that last post made me wanna call my 'special friend'...

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Rishkin Rubskin ...I see $$$ signs!

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Where'd everyone go? Maybe I stink.

HEy teddy, do you have xbox live?

Hah, it was my job actually, but the last couple of months I've been eating well and working out a lot. Gotta get that "summer" bod

Dont you threaten me with a good time.. I've already stretched out and everything

Yeah, Dlisted makes ppl fat. Well, not really. How long you punching for, ted? I'm sure you could easily come back and catch up. Cept I'm prolly going soon. Gotta clean the bathroom and stuff.

So why do we have to wait until tomorrow to talk about making babies? I mean, I don't want any babies yet, but it never hurts to practice.

I cant quit this bitch,, I'm at home on the laptop when I should be downstairs working out punching the bag,, I need help

Teddy- you still up in these chats?

haha, I just attempted to make breaded chicken fingers and I did it all wrong. Who does that? Oh well. The meat was fine, they just ended up unbreaded.

Sounds like a Russian Dominatrix, Let's set the date

hahaha So true and its the exact opposite. When a girl makes it too easy for me, she's probably made it too easy for some1 else and I'm out of there as soon as the condom's flushed. The girls I dig are the ones who keep it interesting and challenging,, it's all about anticipation, cause once it's built it explodes