Thursday, April 9th 2009
John Mayer's Wish Granted
John Mayer was tinkling on his Twitter today and asked for a wish. John wrote, "It would be fun, just once, to catch the cover of a weekly tabloid and see the headline "John Mayer Nails Solo to 'Wheel!'"
So that prompted OK! Magazine to get on their knees, pull down his chonies and lick that taint by posting John's dream cover on their website. OK! and John will be married next week. OK! will get pregnant the week after. Jennifer Aniston will shoot OK! dead two weeks after that.
But seriously, John is going to print this shit out, frame it and put it right above his toilet.
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Earth to John! The name of the song is Proud Mary.
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What What
could someone please explain wtf it means???
Submitted by Chris Eccleston... on Thu, 04/09/2009 - 9:13pm.
Am I the only person that doesn't get it?
I have no idea either. Further to which I have never heard this undead looking beast sing and would not know he was on earth were it not for his fling with Miss A.
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The streets of hell are paved with good intentions.
~ Twain
Since a gimp 12 year old could "nail" one of his solos, he needs to stick to his more lucrative job of being an attention whore.
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Never attribute to malice what can be explained by incompetence.
WTF does that even mean?
I found a hot place, you guys should try it ___SugarmommaMeet.Com_____a great place for rich Woman to meet young and handsome man.............
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hi Paris H
how are you tonight??
I find Kathy Griffin's bikini body even more hilarious (due to its unbelievability) than the actual cover. They probably should have come up with a better cover layout.
"The master's tools will never dismantle the master's house." Audre Lorde
Thanks for help with the translations guys. I Googled and found this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-dUDhgyRoBM
am I the only one to notice that he's wearing a halter top in the photo...gaaak
Anybody can get their picture on a fake magazine cover.
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Pick up your socks and drop your slots, we're going to a party.
Am I the only person that doesn't get it?
John, it's not funny if nobody understands, dude.
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My obsessive fascination is in your imagination.
Nothing makes my day more than just knowing that
John nails solo to wheel.great I can die now.
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Pick up your socks and drop your slots, we're going to a party.
Is "OK!" magazine speaking to me in code again? I'm really not sure what the headline is trying to express.
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Really don't mind if you sit this one out
My words but a whisper, your deafness a shout
--Jethro Tull
Well, Kathleen's abs are pretty tight there. At 48, she looks better than half the bitches on South Beath.
I've always admitted that I'm ruled by my passions.
- Elizabeth Taylor
I hated that wonderland song too. HATED IT. And will admit i liked some of his stuff. But I can't stand him as a person. Well I still like, not liked. Still listen to it unfortunately.
Does he mean the Grateful Dead classic??? ohgodpleasenooooooo!!!!!!
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It sounds like I'll need to be drunk, stoned and suffering from a minor concussion to deal with this fuckery. MK - 11/24/2008
Who is it that insists upon this douchetard's existence? Because that fuck stain needs to be taken out even before oxygen theif!!!
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
I would like to shoot mayer and all these douchebag spammers into a vat of shit.
who cares about fucking mayer its the "bikini body" bitch at 48 that scares the shit out of me! how could anyone define that as a bikini body!!
Um, I don't get it...is that the point? Seriously WTF does it mean?
Submitted by CeeCee on Thu, 04/09/2009 - 5:12pm.
I thought that means he likes to masturbate to Wheel of Fortune when it comes on.
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Lol! That ran through my mind, too.
He irritates me!
"It's the Lifestyles of the Rich & Shameless"
Lost Boyz
Submitted by Lory on Thu, 04/09/2009 - 5:16pm.
Cracked me up. I will sleep with him if it makes me right.
Run for the hills Jen.
Molotov, I am long and lean for my height, but no way near 6 ft....unless I have my stripper platforms on of course!
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“Over my dead body. She needs to stop doing drugs and get a grip. Then maybe we’ll talk.”
– Stevie Nicks to the NY Times, when asked about Lindsay Lohan wanting to buy the rights to her life story
Submitted by EastEndGirl on Thu, 04/09/2009 - 5:09pm.
Submitted by Lory on Thu, 04/09/2009 - 4:29pm.
When I saw him saying that all I could think was "Ya douchebag, great for you, tounges with a pig. MK wouldn't touch you with a ten foot pole"
Eejit.
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LOL! By the way, I wonder who told him that nothing says "I am cool and straight" better than saying he'd toss Perez's salad just to make him shut up.
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Let me dirty up your mind.
Submitted by xxyxz on Thu, 04/09/2009 - 4:10pm.
PERS♥
long time no see
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Awwww, wow - thanks for that xxyxz! *warm fuzzies* It has been a while! Got a new job and life's gotten busy (in a good way!)
*kisses* mwah mwah!
.•´¯`•-><-•´¯`•..•´¯`•-><-•´¯`•..•´¯`•->
"Let this be a lesson. Don't hit a ho with a rum bottle! Drink all the rum instead and then take a nap!" MK, Aug. 22/08
I thought that means he likes to masturbate to Wheel of Fortune when it comes on.
Submitted by Lory on Thu, 04/09/2009 - 4:29pm.
When I saw him saying that all I could think was "Ya douchebag, great for you, tounges with a pig. MK wouldn't touch you with a ten foot pole"
Eejit.
but, what the hell does it mean?
or is that the point?
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The McCanns Did It
Mayer should team up with Gay Fish Kanye next. Double douchiness at the price of one.
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"Oderint dum metuant." Gaius Julius Caesar Augustus Germanicus (aka Caligula)
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Don't sweat it Team, the term "dating leftovers" is not offensive but it does remind me of a couple of guys in College who used that term left and right. People (both men and women) hated them and called them Beavis and Butthead. They didn't get dates until the very end of our career. ;)
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Let me dirty up your mind.
WTF? *scratches head*
&&&
For all you Alan Rickman lovers:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WoqgZ595PHk
!WARNING!: This video will make pie goods temperatures reach critical levels. Risk of pie goods explosion is high. Use extreme caution.
Submitted by MAD on Thu, 04/09/2009 - 4:22pm.
His music is awesome... why say you don't listen to it but still spout an opinion anyway?
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Everyone's probably heard a song or two...
it's just that his doucheiness outweighs his talent...
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the end...
It pains me to say that I knew what the cover was referring to. It also pains me that I have seen him in concert and thoroughly enjoyed it, and his music.
That said, the concert was before the douchery and I've still never paid for any of his music. And I never will! ha!
Team, John Mayer needs to be born again to be taken seriously. He blabs about himself at every turn and his douchiness overpowers any trace of talent he might have. I do not think he is making anyone any favours. He is very insecure himself and he only dates these "unlucky" women to look straight. They date him in order to look "not lonely". A tit for a tat.
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Let me dirty up your mind.
PSL - damn I thought you were like 6' tall! I'm only 5'3, so technically, you still got me beat!
what's the topic again?
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when Ass and Petey fight, do they bump chins until one of them gets cut? - Miss Priss 4/9/09
Ha! I'm everywhere
Ooops wrong thread! Sowwy
Bye Sluuuuut
The joke is on Mayer though. Out of all the pictures they could have chosen for this "cover", they just HAD to pick the one when you can see his "O" face. Can you imagine that? "Oh yes, fuck, yes, yes, yes! I LOVE YOU JOHN MAYER, YOU ARE MY GOD!!!" Damn, I just made myself sick! Brb....
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Let me dirty up your mind.
Submitted by Lory on Thu, 04/09/2009 - 4:29pm.
Nah, he's famous because he tongues disgusting pieces of trash like Perez Hilton and because his ego is bigger than any talent he could ever have, not because of his "dating leftovers" as some people so eloquently put it. I find that term incredibly stupid because everyone is someone's leftovers, unless you've never dated anyone in your life.
True. But you've got to admit that John Mayer makes a habit of dating *"leftovers" that seemingly have self esteem issues and were involved in highly publicized break ups. If he doesn't want to be known for dating *"leftovers", then why not just date the groupies & leave the Aniston/Simpsons/recent divorcees out of the equation?
*the term "sloppy seconds" may be placed here if "leftovers" is too offensive. :)
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My feelings are sensitive.
Submitted by Molotov Cocktease on Thu, 04/09/2009 - 4:25pm.
DG - roughly translated it means "I am a pretentious douche who cares more about my sycophantic love affair with the media than I do my supposedly deep music and the bitches who wet themselves over it." Or something like that
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Well that was kinda what I was thinking, but I am glad you clarified it! : )
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Submitted by Miss Thang on Wed, 04/08/2009 - 10:17am.
I aint no psychiatrist, but I am bipolar ............
Submitted by Molotov Cocktease on Thu, 04/09/2009 - 4:33pm.
Slutty - you know what they say, great minds and all that! us little bitches gotta stand up to the long legged ass-kicking Amazons. And TV was 3 days into a bender when we met, his word cannot be trusted!
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TV cannot be trusted, I had a burning sensation for 3 days after that trip. If I were any shorter, I would have my own show on TLC .
Submitted by LOVE ANDERSON on Thu, 04/09/2009 - 4:30pm.
I'm sure he will also be using the covers as panty liners.
His smegma taint is only happy crusting up his own face.
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fuck that's funny LOL
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I don't care how bad I fuck up, I care about how fucked up I get
Here's my guess: to nail a solo is guitar talk for mastering a tuff solo. So maybe the theme to "Wheel of Fortune" or some other Wheel toon? He's a douche, so it means something douchetastic.
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Drive safe, don't smoke weed and rock out with your cocks out. Peace motherfuckers!
at 5'6", I am hardly an Amazon!!!
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“Over my dead body. She needs to stop doing drugs and get a grip. Then maybe we’ll talk.”
– Stevie Nicks to the NY Times, when asked about Lindsay Lohan wanting to buy the rights to her life story
Slutty - you know what they say, great minds and all that! us little bitches gotta stand up to the long legged ass-kicking Amazons. And TV was 3 days into a bender when we met, his word cannot be trusted!
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when Ass and Petey fight, do they bump chins until one of them gets cut? - Miss Priss 4/9/09
Slutts, I love that you and Molotov posted the same thing- too fucking funny!
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“Over my dead body. She needs to stop doing drugs and get a grip. Then maybe we’ll talk.”
– Stevie Nicks to the NY Times, when asked about Lindsay Lohan wanting to buy the rights to her life story